Too bad my desire for funky naff is not $3700 strong. [Artcoustic via BornRich]

Actually, why the hell are you even snowboarding on one of these things in the first place? The designers, students studying industrial design and visual communication (and bling) at the University of Art and Design Lausanne (ECAL), don't mention pricing on these one-of-a-kind snowboards, so you know what that means. Right, not good with numbers. But aside from that, these boards are inlaid with crystals, which means "expensive."

And lastly, if any one of you rides into town for Snowmodo on one of these things you should seriously take a hard, serious look into kicking your own ass. [Nideker via Born Rich]

Offered through Goldgenie (read: not Apple), Elton's personalized iPod nanos complete with his Rocket Man: The Definitive Hits CD pre-installed can be yours for $565 (8GB) or $640 (16GB). We realize that sounds like a lot, but keep in mind that 12.5% of each purchase goes back to the the Elton John AIDS Foundation—or $45 (8GB) and $51 (16GB). Only 100 of each color will be puked on with a mixture of crystals and adhesive.

Like most of the reasonable public, I'd pay 50 or so bucks not to carry one of these iPods, so maybe I should just mail in my check and have it done with. [Goldgenie via ShinyShiny]

It's unisex. Yes, all you rugged and slightly dishevelled types (NutBastard, I mean you) fear no more about being an outmoded man in a metrosexual world, for you too can pick up the Urban Performer Unit. Pick It Up, I said, and you will be transformed into a rhinestone cowboy in an instant.

This is my favorite picture. Look! He's using his ManBag to play a geetar riff for RockBand, with nary a bead of sweat to disturb the Swarovski swoosh on his face. I think I'd like to see him use his mascara wand as a drumstick, and tackle Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me.

This is what the Urban Performer Unit looks like from the inside. There's also room for your other gadgets, like PDA, cellphone, Hadron Collider and so on and so forth. Available in time for Christmas, the black leather purse is priced at just under $520. And perhaps you should know that it's made by a company called Urban Tools. For tools, presumably. [UrbanTool via Talk2MyShirt]

As for my next weapon of choice, it will have to be this USB Flash Drive Swarovski Crystal Engagement Ring. Only a concept at the moment, manufacturers are fearing releasing this technology that fuses tacky USB with ostentatious stones, lest I score every person in the entire world. [designer via tfts]

Yeah, we wouldn't mind having these Wii sets beneath our TV, but we'd much rather keep the $4,000 in our pocket. [Crystal Icing; Thanks, James.]

There's 1GB storage space, and you skip songs by twisting Mickey's left ear — exactly what I do to my "special friend" when I want him to change the TV channel. Price is 16,800 , or around $150. [Impress]

So just how much is too much to spend on geek fashion? I'd wager $1,690 is, at minimum, a starting point for the discussion. [plasticbamboo]

Ironically enough, Maneki Neko is a symbol of wealth, which leads me to rewrite Jane Austen. "A single man in possession of a good fortune is in need of a Maneki Neko doll" has a certain ring about it, don't you think? There seems to be a lot of high-end Hello Kitty tat coming out of Japan at the moment such as this $6K childcare robot. And then there's this - HK's attempt at humiliating its own kind. [Born Rich]

Surprised? You really shouldn't be. Swarovski crystals can be found all over stuff like Xbox 360s and pepper spray. Older phones, like the Sidekick, enjoyed quite a bit of success once studded with Swarovski crystals, snagging the likes of Paris Hilton. Icing up a hot item like the iPhone was inevitable, and now tragic.

Product page [Crystal Icing via Crave]

LED dresses for a glowing fashion from Japan [Gizmodiva]

First up are the USB drives: Heart Beat is a two-piece heart-shaped locket drive, and the cool retractable padlock-shaped one is called Lock Out. (Philips says they're keeping things simple, and those names sure do, well, smack of simplicity.) They both hold 1GB of files, and will retail for $179.

The USB drives are bubbling with little Swarovski crystals, while the earphones are set with one big jewel for each ear. There will be four headphone styles in all:

An over-the-head set called Icon ($79) and a set of earbuds with neckstrap called Amazone ($149) plus two shown below, the Space sealing earbuds ($99) and the Mirage earhook ones ($129).

Whether the Philips-Swarovski combo has produced a silly novelty or the must-have gift item of the holiday season is still up in the air, but frankly, they are classier looking than I had previously imagined. And hey, is it any stranger than Porsche Design conceiving of a power drill? – Wilson Rothman

Press Release:

Philips and Swarovski partner to deliver a range of innovative fashion accessories

NEW YORK - Fusing lifestyle, technology and fashion, Philips is showcasing a new partnership with the world famous crystal and jewelry company Swarovski at the 2007 Holidays in June event. The alliance combines Philips leadership in developing innovative consumer lifestyle electronics products with Swarovski's expertise in creating fashion crystal jewelry and handbag collections to produce meaningful fashionable accessories for women.

Leveraging both companies' strengths, Philips and Swarovski have jointly designed and developed a range of unique products that will take technology to a fashionable new level for women. The Philips and Swarovski alliance will develop exciting market opportunities for each company by integrating high fashion and technology.

The initial innovations created by Philips and Swarovski are the Active Crystals range of products. These will be launched this summer and include sound accessories and storage devices.

"Philips' alliance with Swarovski combines two distinct and strong brands in order to create a unique proposition for consumers," said Rudy Provoost, Chief Executive Officer, Philips Consumer Electronics. "The outcome of the alliance is a range of products that go back to the essence of what many women are looking for: the fusion of functionality and fashion through a unique combination of technology and elegance. We are combining luxurious design with the practical, everyday benefits of consumer electronics to complement Philips' brand promise—Sense and Simplicity—and Swarovski's brand promise of Poetry & Precision."

Merging Simplicity with Poetry & Precision
The new range is the first result of the Philips and Swarovski alliance focusing on providing performance and class, offering technology with style and demonstrating a feeling of movement and activity combined with fashionable innovation. Targeted towards style-conscious women, the products combine the technologies of both companies to create unique, high-end products with a luxurious look and feel.

"The Philips and Swarovski alliance brings together the greatness of two companies with common values of quality, design and technological innovation," said Daniel Cohen, Member of Swarovski's Executive Board. "Both brands have distinct identities, rich histories and a passion to re-invent and enhance their value propositions, pursuing both brand repositioning and commercial goals. The result of this partnership will be a series of products that will provide women and consumers with meaningful and fashionable products that will enhance their lives."

Swarovski is a well-known brand in the fashion and jewelry industry. It brings credibility, style and design to the alliance, creating a unique product proposition with Philips. Unlike other products using the Swarovski crystal stones, the Active Crystals combine unique elements of functionality and fashion: truly jewels with a soul.

The full Philips and Swarovski Active Crystals range will be commercially available in department stores, consumer electronics retail and Swarovski stores in August 2007.

Like other faux-luxury items, these Crystal Roc items aren't cheap (well, they are cheap, just not inexpensive), with the Retro Mike, the microphone I gather, costing somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,770 when it comes before the end of the year. – Nicholas Deleon

Crystal Roc Home Page [Crystal Roc via Gadget Candy]

The job was done by Crystal Icing, a company that takes great pride in "icing" various gadgets, like iPods, iPod cases and cellphones.

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the sound of our Founding Fathers rolling in their graves. – Nicholas Deleon

Paris Hilton with her Crystal Icing Swarovski Crystal T-Mobile Sidekick 3 at the Sidekick 3 Launch Party [Crystal Icing via Luxury Launches]

It's called the Swarovski Crystal Model Limited Blingbling Edition, and it's transporting a tiny built-in motor, amplifier and a speaker, all running on a 9-volt battery. The result is a circuitous cacophony, with the iconic Microbus making a tinny-sounding racket that may vaguely resemble music. Maybe they should have called it Ear Killer. It would be a gag gift if it didn't cost $520. – Charlie White

Product Page [Razyworks, via Born Rich]