Ladies and gentlemen, I present Sea-Monkeygate. While at the Toy Fair here in New York, I stumbled upon two products that essentially do the same thing (let you grow small animals in a small water tank): Sea-Monkeys and Triops. You've probably heard of Sea-Monekys, those weird things that come in packets and grow in water. Triops are similar, but according to the guy who was promoting them, they're so much better. He ranted for several minutes (just ask Noah) on why Sea-Monkeys are really a scam because they don't grow instantly as promised, among other things. Then he went off on a tangent and Noah and I hurried away. Luckily, I ran into the Sea-Monkeys people a few minutes later. And boy were they hot under the collar when I told them about Triops stylin' on them.

The Sea-Monkey response? That Triops are "gross." The reps— two lovely young ladies, not that that affects my judgement, mind you—then lauded Sea-Monkeys and how they're the original, um, sea creature for children. To prove how much better Sea-Monekys are than Triops, they offered to sing me "Happy Birthday," (it was last week) complete Sea-Monkey cake. I wonder what that tastes like. I graciously declined.

So who's side are you in this war for tiny sea creature toy supremacy? Forget Blu-ray versus HD DVD—this is the war that really matters. – Nicholas Deleon

Sea-Monkeys

Triops