Gizmodo
In what computer analysts and physicists all over the world have classified as "a clear and present danger to the survivability of the Human Race and the Universe as we know it," LA area-man and Gizmodo reader Kevin Barbee reports that his Windows Vista Problem Reporting has reported that it has stopped reporting. White House's security advisor for Weapons of Mass Destruction Tom Lennox pointed that government experts are now scrambling to understand how this doomsday device, what they call the Krazawski-Gothenberg-Travolta Paradox, arrived to Kevin's computer:
"We don't really know if this was planted by some Trojan virus introduced in the Intarweb tubes by an alien race. Or maybe it was that guy from Burkburnett, TX. That's a weird dude. He lives with his "mom," but whatever, we think he may be a secret alien agent. Her mom too. Actually, I think they are all aliens there," Lennox said while pointing to a map of Texas with drawings of three-eyed beings done with fluorescent green marker.
Adding to the inter-dimensional conundrum, the paradoxical rogue dialog box informed the Vista user that it will report later with the solution to the reporting stopping reporting. "We only can say one thing to Mr. Barbee" he added at the end of his emergency press conference in Washington earlier this morning: "for all that is Good and Sacred, don't touch the OK button!" [Thanks for the screenshot Kevin]
Do you think you have a better error message? If you have any absurd error screenshot from Windows or any other software, don't forget to send it to us.
Comments
Windows Vista became self aware at...
I love how it says it will close the program and then tells the user to close the program. Lazy-ass reporting program won't report and won't close programs it says it will close.
This is how Kirk won the day against that robot in that star trek episode.
"Listen to me, everything I say is a lie."
QE%$#%^%&#^%$#%$@^&^&^$^%&%$!!!
Guess we'll all have to turn of Macs now.
@omg-ponies: lol
more importantly, what the heck was he doing last night at 9:28 PM?
If the problem reporting stopped working, how did it report a problem?
DAMN you guys must be having a slow day i mean not that this post is outta the norm for Giz but DAMN!
hey, those semi transparent window borders are a nice touch...subtle...APPLE, ADD THIS, and those stacks boxes too!
On second inspection, I find this deeply disturbing.
The report regarding the reporting cessation was not reported for a month because the reporting program won't report. Moreover, the program was supposed to be closed a month ago.
Finally, something involving the Picts, Scottish barbarians who fought against the Romans and had a penchant for blue body paint (they are ineligible for the Gizmodo contest) are somehow involved.
If we're going to be invaded by the ultimate Blue Meanies, advance warning is needed. The Windows Reporting Program was our first line of defense.
BY JEYL AT 08:39 AM
Guess we'll all have to turn of Macs now.
God shut up!!!!!
@EMoShunz: yea, I'd like to know the events that led up to this error...
Maybe he was reading Engadget and Vista was too embarrassed for him to report his error.
BURN!
@apt94jesse: LMAO
The Wow is now.....or is it?
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
DO I have to be the guy who points out that "Windows problem reporting" is for reporting to Microsoft, and not reporting problems to the end user...?
.
.
.
Yes, I do have to be that guy.
@SirNirian: You're just trying to draw attention away from the earth shattering consequences of this error. Perhaps the erro is your fault, yes? Do you perhaps work for Microsoft? Are you the one responsible for Vista causing the downfall of mankind? Your smokescreen will not save you.
@DocGratis: Is Microsoft paying you to be "that guy"? Conspiracy theorists vote yes.
@EMoShunz: Hmm, last night? All the dates I see are from November.. looks like its email. I think its outlook 2007, it has those flags.
Damn, I was actually believing it up to the end of the first paragraph. So gullible... :P
@DocGratis: You don't HAVE to be that guy, you CHOOSE to be that guy. Because of that, we feel sorry for you.
@omg-ponies: I've got a hole in my pocket...
@hyruu: Try it. You might like it ;).
@spaceman37: it's not november?
oh shit, what the hell happened to me!
@DocGratis: I was planning on being "that guy" until you beat me to it.
isn't this how Matthew Broderick beat WHOPPER?
Like I said before, Vista is the beginning of the end for Microsoft....
@Cassifras: wasn't it WOPR? either way, I love the war games reference.
Que the MS employee paid to do nothing but plant comments in blogs everywhere:
"I've been using vista for blah blah blah, and it works perfectly blah blah blah. There were some problems with early drivers blah blah blah, they were minor issues but I just love it."
Great scott! this will create a time paradox, the results of which could start a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that's a worse case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to our own galaxy.
In other news, WHY THE HELL DOES GIZMODO IS BEING SPONSORED BY THE ZUNE?!!
SO as not to be a total wet blanket.. The jokes about paradoxes and end of the world (plus making fun of MS and MS bugs), are all very funny...
Jesus has been reading the Onion too much lately. Well done!
How a couple of Mallards could do all that is beyond me...
Idunno, I still like the MS errors that simply show that red circle with a white 'X' but no text to describe the error. Either that or the time when I was copying about 6 GB of data via a 10MB ethernet connection between a server and my PC and the estimated time to complete the copy was over 43 million minutes! My boss denied my overtime request. :(
@Jeyl: english isn't your primary language i take it. wtf does that even mean? fail.
I got this error twice on my vista machine...I'm happily running xp again.
@NNTPgrip: Yeah... where are the guys that claim to have NEVER had trouble with VISTA?
They didn't get a paycheck this quarter so they can't be bothered to comment about how uber-extremely-awsome VISTA has been since they got it yeeears ago, and for the life of them, they cant understand how people are having so much trouble with VISTA.
I miss those guys... they're fun...
Hahaha, this reminds of of the greatest Window's message of all time:
"Error: No Error" Dead serious.
@maloeh: replace happily with ignorantly
@xint: how is this post about having trouble with Vista? This is a freakin solution to the problem, no more Windows reporting is the way to go. Time to start smashing my keyboard and go bowling with my mouse while Outlook is open.
My favorite Windows Error, is the classic Keyboard Error.
[ERROR: NO KEYBOARD FOUND.
PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE]
lololol!!!
@EMoShunz: We all know that MS and APPLE (yes apple) steal ideas from each other. Now go away and spend twice as much money on all your peripherals and software.
For the record I like both Windows and Mac. They both have strong and weak points.
@xint: I have seem both sides of the story... I bought an HP laptop and Vista works really well on it. Not flawless, but nothing is flawless.
My desktop runs REALLY badly with vista despite it having far superior specs.
It seems as though good Vista performance is hit or miss. This will probably clear up as time goes on... remember all the problems XP had when it was first released?
@xint: That was a BIOS error champ... not Windows.
@xint: Don't recall that one, but I do remember during a BIOS post you'd get something like keyboard error, press f1 to continue. heh.
Yatta!!!
I'm running vista and I never had any problems... in fact I could not have problems because it work just like the government. Vista is like a bureaucratic building : you want to change somthing, well you have to fill up forms that is never the right one, it tells you to in that other building where u can find the other form that you'll have to bring back and maybe then, the change will be applied... so i never changed anything and my vista work properly !
@R031E5: You're not thinking 4th dimensionally!
This error message is obviously value added programming from the Microsoft Department of Redundancy Department.
I guess the first time I got a perplexing error message from vista, I should have sent it to Gizmodo too. Oh well, here it is: [img260.imageshack.us]
Hmm... If anyone puts that on a T-Shirt, I'll buy it.
@NNTPgrip: I believe the majority of those employees are busy reinstalling XP on their machines.
I believe the BEST error message EVER comes from Adobe:
[www.flickr.com]
Do you have to hold your breath whilst waiting?
I thought this wasnt supposed to happen till 2012, when the Mayan calender ends!
You should rename this site Giz-Onion-Odo.
@NNTPgrip:
word.
Whoever writes the error messages must have a spare jar of bong water to suck on in the cubicle.
@omg-ponies: do you do anything during the day other than comment on almost every giz story?
@Kaiser-Machead: Here's a good error message that my dad told me about some old servers. I can't remember if they were VAX servers or what, but they had a drive cluster attached to them, and if the cluster dropped unexpectedly, the error would show "Mary has lost her sheep." Makes sense, but not very technical.