John Oliver runs a regular segment called “How Is This Still a Thing?”, but he’s decided to turn it on its head. So “How Is This Not a Thing?” describes the things that Oliver would like see invented—preferably as soon as possible.

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Amongst others, Oliver would like Ambien for the part of the day that we have to be awake, bread pants, and a search engine that can make sense of the kinds of questions that your parents ask. How are they not things?

[John Oliver]