Image: AP

Yesterday, I got off at the wrong subway stop two separate times, ate a bowl of cereal for lunch, and fell asleep reading the entirety of OJ Simpson’s Wikipedia page. Mark Zuckerberg, on the other hand, made $3.4 billion in an hour. You win this round, Mark.


According to Forbes, the windfall inflated Zuck’s net worth up to a “new high” of $56.7 billion. It came after Facebook, the company Zuckerberg founded and currently owns many shares in, reported its second quarter earnings, which beat expectations. The market, unsurprisingly, got a raging hard on, and Facebook’s stock rose 6.5 percent.

Stunningly, this quarter’s earnings were short of last quarter’s, during which Zuckerberg made a reported $4.2 billion. Better luck next quarter!


Of course, Zuckerberg has pledged to give away most of his fortune anyway, so these rises and falls in stock prices won’t matter much to him in the end. But they can buy me a lot of cereal. Hit me up, Mark.