Economists Prove New Yorkers Are Unhappy Because Their State Objectively Sucks

Research Question: Why are New Yorkers miserable? Hypothesis: Because New York is not a pleasant place to live. [Gawker]

Coroner: Murphy's Death "Appears To Be Natural"

The Associated Press is currently reporting that Los Angeles Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter is claiming that Brittany Murphy's death "appears to be natural." Authorities are currently looking through her medical records and an autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow. [CBS4] [Jezebel]

Who is Simon Monjack?

Brittany Murphy's life was cut short at 32 when she passed away this morning. The latest piece of news is that her husband, Simon Monjack, reportedly told Cedars-Sinai staffers that he didn't want there to be an autopsy. Who? [Gawker]

Sunday Night Wrap-Up

This weekend, we confessed our worst hair mishaps, discussed our imaginary families, tried to justify our love of Jersey Shore, added another celebrity to the Photoshop of Horrors list, and sadly said goodbye to actress Brittany Murphy. [Jezebel]

You Better Watch Out: Santa Claus Might Already Be In Your Town

When I was kid, my parents would always tell me in the days leading up to Christmas that Santa Claus was already circling the globe. Now that I'm an adult with internet access, I can confirm that this is true. [Jezebel]

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

[Brooklyn, December 19. Image via Getty.]

[Jezebel]

Celebrities React To Brittany Murphy's Death On Twitter

As has become customary following celebrity deaths, many celebs, including her former fiance, Ashton Kutcher, took to Twitter to express their grief over Brittany Murphy's passing and to share condolences with her family, friends, and fans. [Jezebel]

Rage Against the Machine Bests Simon Cowell's Pop Music Robots In Sony Pissing Contest

"Guerilla Radio," indeed. Remember angry 90s WTO-protest mascots Rage Against the Machine? Well, they and their fans decided to take on British holiday radio playlists dominated The Pop Music-Industrial-Complex Machine. And they won, pissing off Simon Cowell in the process. [Gawker]

Update: Laura Dekker, 14-Year-Old Sailor, Found On St. Martin

14-year-old sailor Laura Dekker, who went missing on Friday, has reportedly been found alive on the island of St. Martin, according to The Australian. No word yet on how she reached St. Martin from her home in the Netherlands. [Australian] [Jezebel]

"Feminism Just...Went Away": On Women And Happiness In The 00s

Just in case you didn't know: women want everything, and everything makes women unhappy. Camilla Long adds yet another piece to this hot trend, noting that though women in the "noughties" seemingly had everything, they're still horribly unhappy. [Jezebel]

What Drunk Boulder, Colorado Author Tried Stealing His Own Book?

A literary blind item in the New York Times? Yes! Buried in novelist Margo Rabb's NYT Sunday Book Review essay about increases in shoplifting at bookstores is an anecdote about an unnamed author who jacked his own product from one. [Gawker]

Girl, Interrupted: The Life & Death Of Brittany Murphy

You will probably read this in every story surrounding Brittany Murphy's passing: 2009 was a year for celebrity deaths, and hers will be yet another to put on the list. But that doesn't make her death any less shocking. [Jezebel]

Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: In Which Will Ferrell Photobombs the NYT's Weddings

Once it hits your lips, Altarcations are so good. Phyllis Nefler will drink the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations milkshake beerbong like it's nobody's business, especially when it's got good guest stars like this week's. Tell 'em what's up, Nef: [Gawker]

Star In Stripes

[London, December 18. Image via INFDaily.]

[Jezebel]

Brittany Murphy, Actress, 32

TMZ is reporting that Brittany Murphy, who had long been said to struggle with drugs, died last night after going into cardiac arrest. Paramedics weren't able to revive her. The actress, who launched her career with Clueless, was 32. [Gawker]

Tila Tequila Tweets Pregnancy: Will Spawn for Family as Surrogate Parent, Probably Get New Show

In what's inevitably a bid for another TV show, Tila Tequila announced on Twitter that she'll be carrying the child of her brother and his wife as a "present" for them. I can't wait for the show. I have ideas. [Gawker]

Breaking: Brittany Murphy Dies At 32 (Updated)

TMZ is currently reporting that actress Brittany Murphy has died of cardiac arrest at the age of 32, noting that Murphy "was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center where she was pronounced dead on arrival." More on this soon. [TMZ] [Jezebel]

Men Still Control Depictions Of Female Sexuality On The Screen And Beyond

There is no shortage of in-your-face sexuality in American culture. Yet as Patricia Cohen notes in a piece for the New York Times, much of that sexual culture, including the marketing of female sexuality, is still driven by men. [Jezebel]

"Think I'll Dress Up Like Cruella, Ella Ella, Eh Eh Eh."

[New York, December 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Jezebel]

"You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid."

According to this vintage holiday ad for Red Ryder BB Guns Daisy rifles, "You'll have tons of fun shooting outdoors—or in your own basement or rec room with Mom and Dad." Click to enlarge. [Vintage Ads] [Jezebel]

14-Year-Old Dutch Sailor Laura Dekker Goes Missing

Laura Dekker, the 14-year-old sailor from the Netherlands who famously lost her battle to sail around the world alone earlier this year, has now gone missing, and authorities say they do not believe it was a crime. [Jezebel]

"I See You."

[Hollywood, December 18. Image via Getty.]

[Jezebel]

The Wedding of Kevin Jonas and Inevitably Subsequent Sacrifice of His Virginity or "V-Card"

Kevin Jonas got married, probably laid. Jersey Shore kids in New York. Are they loved or hated? Kate Hudson's parents love her sooooooooo much. People wants to kill Brad Pitt's spirit. SJP vs. Dress. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup! [Gawker]

Snooki, Baby Hands, Jammies, And Make Out Sessions: James Franco Hosts The Last SNL Of The Decade

James Franco did his best to give us a solid show during the final Saturday Night Live of the decade last night, and though the show didn't really give us anything new, it was still a pretty good time overall. [Jezebel]

Snow For Bo

[Washington, D.C., December 19. Image via Getty.]

[Jezebel]

George Clooney's Terrible Date With Madonna, More Trouble For Tiger, And Wedding Bells For A Jonas Brother

• George Clooney reportedly went on a date with Madonna after the singer split from Guy Richie, though the date was not a success, as Madonna kept making bad jokes and George "could not wait to get out of there." [ShowbizSpy]

[Jezebel]

Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night!

It's our last SNL live thread of 2009, and we're going out in style, with the dreamy James Franco as our host. Let's all settle and watch the (hopefully funny this evening) performance artist at work, shall we? [Jezebel]