"I didn't remember the breakdancing part--all I remembered is the the legs, the legs, the legs, and then about six years later finding out they didn't belong to Jennifer Beals."
"Re: Hillary Nutcracker: If she'd had her legs open like that more often, either Bill wouldn't have been impeached, or she would definitely be the next president.
Re: Knife-gun: Waiting for two of them on a chain."
"Instead, I suggest the toilet-tank-fish-survival-game: a special toilet tank with a small survival pool and a bell.
Every time you flush, the bell rings, warning the fish that it has two-and-a-half seconds to swim into the survival pool before it is sucked down the trap with the rest of the crap.
Every time the fish survives, you add a little tick-mark to the wall above the toilet and rename the fish (i.e."
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