Germanautoparts.com used to sell flywheels lightened by ~1/3 for Mk2 VWs.

++What about a windage tray or a crank scraper girdle?

Is the old MSD now useless b/c of modern coilpack ignitions? -I know there was a debate that it didn't really help hp, but it had a mild effect on mileage, or something to that effect.

@Spekkio: I wonder if K&Ns improve the MPG, too.
-Or a free-flow exhaust, or rudimentary head+intake -port/polish + 3-angle valve job.

Multi-prong plugs?

Iridium plugs?

Re T-Shirt:Chivalry was killed by feminists, not women.

The whole problem is that women were given the right to vote, speak in public, write anything that wasn't first submitted to a male editor for revision, and God-forbid, -lead their own lives.

The issue with that is that women don't have the slightest capacity for Rational Thought and are functionally Insane most of the time.

For example, today. A given woman, -well feminist really, will react Horribly to a guy essentially doing something nice for her. -Holding a door, thinking of others, trying to be kind, being considerate, etc. Another girl with even think it's 'creepy'. The poor guy will walk away confused.

On the other side of the coin, the Golddiggers, Drink-Whores, and Dinner/Movie-Whores will color themselves completely Entitled to take advantage of every man as far as she can get.

-Esp. given our 15th century (at best) marriage laws concerning community property, ++in an age where a woman is no longer an indigent, can own property, and can work.
-And given maternity leave, health expenses, male-dominated overtime, and male-dominated hazard work (Lisa Nowak not included), makes close to as much as a man for similar work, sometimes more in certain industries.

This is what happens to things when you give women choices. They f*** it all up, because they're Nuts.

((( ++ the inference, supposition, conjecture, implication, hearsay & indirect most women trade in isn't helping things, either. Remember, guys aren't women; we're simple. Sometimes we do nice things, ... ... ... -BECAUSE WE'RE NICE!1!! )))

Anyway, Going Forward: -It's a great idea for all women, except the 5 sane ones left (SarahMC may be 1), to be treated as Completely Unspecial as anyone else for ~the next 150 years.

Maybe then their brains will have evolved some rudimentary mechanism by which to greet kindness/courtesy with Thanks instead of Scorn or Greed. But for now, they should be as equally Shit-Kicked as the average homeless vietnam vet; -that'll learn 'em.

...*Oh, and chivalry Does Not Get You Laid in the Slightest!!!

Being a non-reactive, internally-validated, ultra-confident, socially-proofed, arrogant master of conversation and social interaction who doesn't care what others think, -Does.

Protest all you like, but all the non-lesbians here would cheat on their current husbands/SOs at the drop of a hat if you ran into a garden-variety bastard on a motorcycle who once f***ed your sister in Tijuana.

See, all this 'dating' schnazz worked so much better back 100+ years ago when women didn't have much of a choice.
-But feel free to disagree with that (no doubt using some wildly byzantine hypocritical 'logic') on your way to becoming the childless crazy cat lady who dies alone. Cheers! :)

(let the flamewar begin :P )

++ Don't show this to Jones the dog, he'll go right past the married post-op tranny with the bunions and start hitting on that box like it's an old PC.

And I assume since the last time I checked, the lemurs had retired to an oceanside bar in Marbella, that the Meerkats must've rebuilt the engine and replaced the ring gear and the thrust bearings for the Limited Slip Differential in Kimi's F1 car in time for the run.

Only he could have Hydroplaned clear across the Atlantic (as demonstrated here by an early Lamborghini driver), gone up to a Canadian Pharmacy in Montreal for their excellent cut-rate prices on roofies and ambien, Clouted Celine Dion about the head and shoulders with a HANS device for 50 seconds solid -purely for the sheer Magritte-ian artistic joy of it, and then made it back into your town to have a quick shot of "43" & a slice of Manchego at "Bar La Torre del Oro"
-by the time you hung up the phone, which must have been a feat. -Oh wait; okay, you were on speaker, right? -Yeah ok, I guessed it.

I know, since it's Madrid, the meerkats would probably have insisted Kimi drive a Reventón to do his hydroplaning, but from what I hear he's freelance/1099 at the moment, so he drives what he wants and then expenses the mileage. (I think at F1 rates it's 40 cents / mile) -It would ordinarily have been much higher, but Max Moseley is so busy getting whipped in the ass by multiple Nazi hookers, and banging your beloved Hoover like a Salvation Army Drum, the depreciation allowance just isn't what it used to be, especially in the off-hours.

You Do realize of course that master has a very keen eye for detail, and that even when the drugs do wear off, he will go all CSI gadgetness on Miss Cool Geek 2-legs Gizmodo Queen, find the ligature marks from your leash, and (short of any ninja help) You'll be subsequently Ass-Wellingtoned right out the door! -If pickup artist Wilson Rothman and the Ninja Lemurs of Macao (next 'Indiana Jones' movie title, btw) had anything to say about it, the whole caper'd been captured at 600fps on a Casio already! every. single. frame.

So: Cats may be c*n*s, but between biting the master in the face and your attempt at an interspecies "Bound" ((("ferris beagler's day off"-???, hrm...))), you better start looking for some new Butts to sniff, shorty. I hear Ben & Cameron are hiring for the "Something About Mary" sequel. You can reach Ben through Nick Stevens at Endeavor. Cheers! :P

And in the way that minus the F150 and Mondeo El 'Stango, ++ its 6.02 X10^23 sister versions, are keeping the Taurus-killing, 60's-ego-driven self-petard-hoisting Ford in business; ~the way Stallone hangs onto a 100lb. female climber in "Cliffhanger".

And also relevant in the way that Bill Ford's head is rammed so far up his ass he's enjoying the smell of his own fluffernutter farts before they become atmospheric; -that and the smell of 100s of millions of bearer-bonds he's stuffed up there b/c he's no other idea what else to do.

So yeah: Pretty relevant, in the pushrod/facepalm/Cliffhanger/fluffernutter-fartsmell way we all know and love, yes.

-Just Great!

@ChromiumSwitch: I think it's (703) 482-1739 ([www.cia.gov] ,btw)

-Either that or it's in the back pages of these books:
[www.amazon.com]
[www.amazon.com]
[www.amazon.com]

But I agree it's a bad idea on a chronic basis.

Also agree on the 2/3 or 3/4 threshhold.

@hockyis1: -Seconded.
There should also be -One (1) Evergreen Post/Page/-on the site (or HQ Flash MicroSite) that is a gallery of all current JFG Cars, their names, short writeup/AJAX TexSpand, links to their Induction Article and the Vote %s they went in by; so that it can be Revisited periodically all in one place.

-B/c right now, looking at the cars in the damn JFG is Hamstrung by the Blog-style Information Architecture.

@snep: Definitely this, too.

++ Maybe another Evergreen Page/List of cars that were Noms, but Didn't get into the JFG, or were booted.

++ there should really be the original Corvette, Shelby Mustang, Shelby Cobra in there, too.

++++ My Fantasy of the Fantasy Garage: Jalopnik does a 1-day deal with Insurance & Admission at 3 Car Clubs. 1 East, 1 West, 1 MidWest and a certain number of Paying-Up Jalops get to drive ~15 minutes in a 3-5 Fantasy-Garage-type cars; similar to the CCC in Manhattan.

Something very J-Lo Gigli about that ass, and not in the "Good Gigli"-way.

And what's with those stupid damn stacked exhausts???

I imagine it would be similar to the signal path of a Modern High-Gain guitar amp like an Engl or a Krank. -Ie: Take a really small signal and amplify it 6.02x10^23 times.

But the knickers here are truly a stupid invention, because If I'm seeing a girl's pants (and good lord, they better not be that big), then we're already ok; so who cares about the color.

~zzzt~"Paging Bey Mustafa Carolus Darwin. You are needed at the on-track awards podium. Bey Mustafa Carolus Darwin to the on-track awards podium, please. Your cellphone has also been found by Gizmodo."

This one's for you, brother:

Danica SMAAAASH!

:D

A propos Douchebags and popped collars, I MUST quote perhaps one of the best anecdotal treatises on Douchebaggery ever, (written by a Super talented and brilliant guy; esp. given the site). -By DB1 himself from Hot Chicks With Douchebags .

Quote:
"Whither the Douchebag?"
I was heading into my local Trader Joes to stock up on Peanut Butter Joe-Joe's cookies when he stopped me. A young boy, maybe five or six years old. He was playing with a tennis ball and waiting for his mom by the entrance.

"Whither the douchebag?" he asked me, his eyes confused.

Unsure if he meant "wither" or "whither" in the old English sense of "to what purpose," I asked him to repeat what he'd just said.

"Whither the douchebag?" he asked again.

I realized he meant to inquire as to douchebaggery's origins. It was a surprising question from a kid so young. Perhaps he'd glimpsed the tatted up uberdouche visage of Xenu somewhere. Somehow the land of Armani-Exchanged tools had invaded and overwhelmed his young senses.

A question so complex deserved a proper answer.

"Kid," I replied. "The collar pops not from without, but from within. As you grow older, you must fight it. Do not fear the douche. Confront it. Overwhelm it. And enlightenment will be yours."

He nodded.

"Thanks." he said quietly.

I wasn't sure if he fully understood. But as I went inside I'd hoped I'd set his young mind on the right path of de-douchification and enlightenment. The path of self inscription.

I felt I'd made a difference. At least a little bit.

Later, at the checkout line, I hit on his mom.

--
end quote.

A4 + Volvo ridge-bumps + Holden

-simply epic. You have my undying respect, dearth.

That may be one of the Top 10 COTDs of All the JalopTestament.

->Now watch Polar, who should either be writing his own award-winning blog or be employed as 2nd editor-in-chief of any car blog, start whining that he didn't win today's COTD.

Honestly, I thought I'd heard it All at Jellied Sparrow Tonges, Cheetahs, Absinthe and 15th Century French Porn.

-Really Super Well Done!!!

^^^I agree. Spend the money developing better products, hiring better customer service people and paying them well.

++AND kicking Themselves in the nuts (no cup), and by 'themselves' I mean every Eisnerian overpaid manager in Sprint history, especially the CEOs...

-> While they all sip a finely wrought Mad King Ludwig-style hemlock martini and do a round Gregorian Chant of "Komm, Süsser Tod."

"Well the customer sucks! -All they do is call in and complain. Let's just redefine who our customers are."

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Neil Strauss became one of the world's best pickup artists in much less than 10 years.

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