I built this machine because of unreliable guitarists. It don't smoke! It don't drink! And it's never late.

That's great, guy, but I've got a strange feeling that alcohol isn't completely out of the picture here. [CollegeHumor - Thanks, Reed!]

The machines are admittedly very cool, though I'd feel dishonest extending that praise to the throngs of attendees, who dress and act as though they were spawned from some horrible, dank pit found somewhere between Wild Wild West and BoingBoing's front page, circa 2005. Best part of the video: when one of the organizers says "Santa Rosa has needed something like this for a long, long time." Someone should pass on the news before this gets out of hand. [Press Democrat]

[Webhemera via Neatorama]

For this week's Photoshop Contest, I asked you to lampoon all things steampunk by creating ludicrous steampunk gadgets. We've got entries that run the gamut from the ridiculous to the, well, more ridiculous. Awesome! Hit the jump for your top three winners then check out the rest of the best in the Gallery of Champions.

First Place — Steve Cantu
Second Place — Dave Gregory
Third Place — GirlGadget
We didn't get as many entries as usual this week, possibly because steampunking something up isn't all that easy. But what we did get were great entries. So check 'em out! Thanks to everyone for entering!

Create some ludicrous steampunk gadgets in Photoshop, then save your winning results in JPG, GIF or PNG format. Save the files with a FirstnameLastname.jpg naming convention as you'd like to be credited, and send your entries to contests@gizmodo.com with "Steampunk Gadgets" in the subject line. Next Tuesday, I'll pick three winners and showcase the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get steampunkin'!

The Expressionist Bass speakers ditch the 3-piece setup in favor of built-in subs in each speaker, saving space under the desk if that's something you need. Separate drivers for mids and highs too, for $130.We know Altec can build a solid iPod dock already, so the inMotion Moondance GLOW ($180) above will look slick on the bedstand, featuring dual alarms and a really sweet looking ziggurat-shaped remote. The inMotion MAX (below) brings more power with four drivers for $200.
And the quirky Orbit speaker we've seen before also got dropped into a more industrial-looking enclosure with the iM237 edition, which will give you OK sound in a tiny package for $40.
All of the redesigned gear should be out in October. Now that the NYT deemed it a fad (typically a few years too late), it's interesting to see subtle steampunk-ish cues pop into a major CE company's design schemes. [Altec Lansing via Crave]

That pic is of the guts of the beast—it's all glistening plexiglass and copper plumbing. And in my mind that sets off a "steampunk-meets Buck Rogers-style retro sci-fi" feeling, complete with flashing lights and lurid plastic colors, but without Tweaky. But that name isn't catchy enough. Over to you guys...

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This is a PC/LCD/Keyboard/"Mouse" combo built using some of the more attractive design elements of the Gothic school of architecture. The LCD lives inside a scratch-built Gothic arch with quatrefoil designs and stained-glass doors. The PC case features the same Morisco-patterned glass, brass embellishments, a hinged lid for access to the drives and hardware, and soft, ambient red lighting. The PC is quite fast and is actually built as a gaming computer.

If you want to own this one-of-a-kind item, it'll be for sale at the Steampunk art show at the Hamptons Antique Galleries in Bridgehampton, NY between August 16 and August 24 (the perfect place to meet your future husband, ladies!). If it doesn't sell there, it'll go on eBay in September. [Datamancer]

The Boba Fett re-design looks particularly good. Sillof decided to change the T visor in the helmet for rounded goggles, while keeping the rest almost intact:

While Fett’s “T” visor is iconic, this design keeps the look of the rounder goggles that have become a staple of the line, while the red strip down the middle hints at the old “T” design. His forearm weapons feature a mini-crossbow and a working retractable blade. The Surcoat is reminiscent of Fett’s shoulder cape. His rocketpack is still there just in a larger more industrial model.

Head to Sillof's to see some of these in 360-degree rotating versions. The details are simply stunning. [Silof]

Update: It also looks like Psycho Mantis from Metal Gear Solid.

And you can buy it from ebay
For a bunch more days,
Just to get hold of it yourself.
It's the Model 666, it's the Model 666,
With a crucifix, with a crucifix.
[Ebay via BoingBoing. —Apols to Radiohead.]

[Redstone Gallery via Born Rich via Boing Boing Gadgets]

[Steuben's Wheelmen]

[redbubble via boingboing]

• Phoenix landed in exactly the right spot: Water on Mars!
• You'll never guess how they buried the inventor of the Pringles can.
• Nice catch, Apple. Me.com was quite the find for the new .Mac.
• The MacBook Air. It slices, it dices, it cuts cake!
• MIT developed a nanotech paper towel. Stains, you're officially on notice.

Now, hit the homepage for the best gadget and technology news in the 'verse.

Congratulations, you are now the owner of a one of a kind two-faced clock by Diversified Artistic Designs (D.A.D.). The clock's energy is supplied by a state of the art dilithium crystal power generator. If you wish to order the accessory hub and adaptor cable, the generator can be modified to power your home as well as all of the cities in your hemisphere. (Parts not included. Contact your service center for details.)

To activate the dilithium power generator and set the clock, remove the large brass knobs and lift off the top. Caution, the generator itself is not a serviceable part. Do not remove the small brass nuts on top of the clock. If for any reason the power containment unit should become damaged or compromised in any way we recommend that you evacuate immediately, preferably to an alternate universe.

Father's Day is just two weeks away, kids! Maybe you ought to share with him one of your fascinations and see where he runs with it. [Steampunk Workshop via UberReview]

My favorite is the copper adjustable cuff bracelet with the propeller. Now I only need to get myself a monster-looking nuclear submarine, and invite Kirk Douglas—or Walter Mossberg—for a 20,000 league trip. [Etsy]

[Instructables]

Not to be a double-downer, but am I the only one who would like steampunk gadgets to start including, I dunno, something like actual steam? [topmods via technabob]

St George says in the 19th century his great-grandfather, Alexander Stanhope St George, built a trans-Atlantic tunnel from London to New York which was forgotten by time. The artist discovered his great-grandfather's plans recently and using the diagrams installed parabolic mirrors at both locations that reflect what's happening 3500 miles across the pond. Now, I can't say for sure since I haven't seen the Telectroscope in person, but a picture in the gallery above suggests a more logical explanation that involves built-in webcams and broadband internet sending live video in both directions. Either way, the scope looks fantastic and I can't wait to check it out.

The Telectroscopes are on display 24/7 until June 15. New Yorkers can check out the Brits by heading to Fulton Ferry Landing in Brooklyn; Londoners will need to head to Tower Bridge if they want their fix of spying on the Yanks. [Telectroscope via Gothamist 1, 2]

Quaint to some eyes, or outright bizarre, steampunk fashion is compelling all the same. It is that rarity, a phenomenon with the potential to capture a wider audience, offering a genteel and disciplined alternative to both the slack look of hip-hop and the menacing spirit of goth.

Made by modder Molly "Porkshanks" Friedrich, it was built for Nathan Johnstone of the band Abney Park, and debuted at a performance at Maker Faire the other day.

Molly seems to have ignored the fact that violins get their sound quality from the vibrations of their classic shape and structure, so we've no idea what it sounds like, particularly as it sports an extra string. But it does at least have LEDs inside those fake "valves" that flash when in time to its music. All we need now is Vanessa Mae to play it, wearing a suitably matching outfit, don't you think guys? [MAKE via Slashgear]

This is a 22" widescreen LCD that I built to compliment my brass keyboards. The frame is solid 1/4-inch brass that has been sanded and polished to a high shine. The base features a mixture of brass and black marble with a small brass "cord catch" to keep the power and data cords tidy.

Gizmodo:How did you come up with the name Sillof?
Sillof:I am a high school history teacher and Sillof was a fake name a few students and I came up with years ago. I used it as a running gag for giving generic examples; such as in the ancient kingdom Sillof, the loyal Sillofites, the might god Sillof, etc. When I began to look for an online alias I chose it.

I primarily use it to keep my personal and professional lives separated.

Gizmodo:When did you start customizing figures?
Sillof: Well, I did it a little when I was a kid, by cutting off Luke's hand or 3PO's arm, or putting Luke's head on the x-wing pilot's body. I later got more into it in the early 90's and then really started to make it a long term hobby. I met guys like Alex Newborn who inspired me and then the internet was just taking off and it really opened my imagination to the possibilities.

Gizmodo:What made you decide to take on this hobby?
Sillof: Initially I just wanted figures that they never made. The driving force was I had always loved The Cantina scene and Jabba's Palace scene in the Star Wars films and I wanted to recreate those scenes. I had built these miniature sets called dioramas, which are on my site, and wanted to fill them with all the movie aliens.

Gizmodo:Where do you get your ideas for themes and figures?
Sillof: Initially I just made the figures that I wanted but had not been made. I eventually got tired of just recreating existing designs and wanted to do something more creative. I am currently planning a line that is all original designs of my own original characters right now.

As for my process I just visualize a general idea in my head. I am always going for a figure that is very unique, yet recognizable as the intended character. Then I concentrate on the key elements that make the character recognizable - these are the elements I will try to represent in the new figure. I do a few sketches, one just straight ideas, and others that are a little more practical with regard to parts I could find and things I could make.

I then go about collecting pieces to use as parts and begin to combine them all. There is a fair amount of sanding, and dremeling, and cutting. Then use the parts like a skeleton sculpting my own designs using apoxie sculpting compound and then gluing any number of odds and ends to the figure. Then I paint the figure and give it a wash of diluted dark paint to antique it.

Gizmodo: Where do you source your materials - do you buy action figures as is or get them second hand?
Sillof: I have a large collection of toy "parts" and other miscellaneous found items that are not toy related. I buy some figures new and cut them up, I buy figures on eBay in large lots of played with toys, and there are some toy dealers in my area that pull things aside for me as they buy them.

Gizmodo:Has any company ever contacted you to work for them, doing this full time?
Sillof:I was approached to build replica props for a major company, but the idea of machining metal for a living, which was my father's job, did not seem that appealing to me. I was also approached for my diorama building by a new company in England, but moving was not an option as my wife was 7 months pregnant at the time.

Gizmodo:Would you want to do this full time if you could?
Sillof:I would love to try to make figures for a toy company full time. My dream job would be designing original props, costumes, or sets for movies. I do this on the side as another hobby for local films. My career actually gives me a sabbatical where they hold my job for a year and would allow me to explore the career. So I am always open to the idea to attempt this on a full time basis.

Gizmodo:If there was one piece of advice for aspiring custom action figure hobbyists that you wish someone had told you when you first started out, what would it be?

For a new customizer, I would just tell them to just keep making figures, practicing, and trying new techniques until they find what works for them, and never stop on a figure until you are 100% happy with it.

Personally, I would like go back and tell myself not to waste my time making figures of existing designs and just start doing my own original works.

[Sillof's Workshop]

The watch is overblown in absolutely every way imaginable, with a definite steampunk vibe; all part of the appeal. The riveted case makes for quite a long watch, which would probably be more of a timekeeping gauntlet than a wristwatch, not that I am complaining; this thing has presence.

As you can imagine, all of this heavy metal, leather and fine clockwork costs a pretty penny; Jimmy Tan of Prince Jewellery and Watch Company in Hong Kong snapped up the Incognito '08 for a lazy 400,000 Euro or $632,941. [DeWitt via Timezone via Watchismo Times]