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The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn

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itchytooth
07/17/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
And, of course, there was your parents' stack of polaroids, which I'm sure they left out for you to find, so they wouldn't have to have that conversation with you. Because that would have been awkward.
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alphanumeric1971
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
As a side note, Playboy is offering all of their back issues for free viewing on their website.

Downside: you need the silverlight player to view them.
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debbyherbenick
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
I actually find the older photos more sensual than much of what we have these days.
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Curves
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
It was about 1979 that Larry Flint got shot while being tried for pornography? Dont forget the effect Hustler had on middle America even before the nets existed.
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paperless
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
Best. Article. Ever
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Noobs-R-Us
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
Linda Carter, yum! I saw her about 15 years ago while at a movie theater on 2nd Ave. YUM!
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
Back then the biggest thing you had to worry about was paper cuts and/or the pages getting stuck together....
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The5thElephant
07/16/09

@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: I never understood the whole pages getting stuck together thing. Did they not have paper towels or tissues then?

Just aim better damn it!
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
07/17/09

@The5thElephant:
What's not to understand? Hell, even today some men have trouble hitting the porcelain target without spraying everything else..
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Vishus
07/17/09

@The5thElephant:
An accidental meeting of magazine pages and splooge can prove to be a pretty sticky situation. The problem is only amplified when taking into consideration the hurried or urgent nature of the event in which such meetings were likely to occur.
See: 007 style porn theft and replacement operations.

And then there the people who would intentionally defile a magazine in a moment of sweaty passion and then wouldn't care enough to attempt to clean up the aftermath; leaving 20 pages to become 1 and in doing so, destroying and any precious booty that may have been contained within...bastards.
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92BuickLeSabre
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
I find it ironic that the three missing examples are the three that "helped" me through that time in my life.

1) The "somebody must've gotten married" porn dump. (In my case, a massive stack of Hustlers discovered while riding our bikes behind the grocery store, that we tore apart and hid single pages in our LPs).

2) The scrambled porn channels.

3) The one friend whose parents actually subscribed the Playboy channel. (That kid was pop-u-lar!)

(Although I guess the last two were really more a function of the mid-80s weren't they....)
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jibbly
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre:

1) YES, a hundred times, YES. My own experience involves a black trash bag loaded with Playboys at the dumpster behind the community basketball court (guys must have dumped their stash far away from home, just in case).

2) While I do concur on the scrambled porn channels, that didn't appear until way into the '80s I think, no?

3) See above.

(I totally skipped over your disclaimer in parenthesis and I'm too lazy to delete everything I just wrote...)

Oh I also should add:

4) NYC sidewalk used books/magazines/tapes/LP sellers. In high school, we had a guy that would sell us old Playboys and Penthouses on the upper west side.

5) Shady bodega/cigarette stands who would sell kids cyanide if that's what sold well.

6) Older siblings!
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Edited by jibbly at 07/16/09 5:58 PM jibbly was starred jibbly was unstarred

92BuickLeSabre
07/16/09

@jibbly: It's hard to believe that the giant pile of porn is no longer a part of our nation's culture.

What a loss.
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jchasse
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre: 4)Your parents copy of "Joy of Sex"
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UnderLoK
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre: Strangely enough we used to find mags all the time at construction sites... Not sure why they had to get it up working with a bunch of guys, but hey, I don't judge.
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LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre:

My parents had the playboy channel since I was born. Needless to say this was not quite 1979, rather 1981, and well....ummm growing up with that was interesting .
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92BuickLeSabre
07/16/09

@LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M: If I said that this explained a lot, would you hold it against me?
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jibbly
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre: It's like the modern version of a flint arrowhead or something supremely useful that was superseded by advancing technology.
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LindsayJoy's MBP is into S+M
07/16/09

@92BuickLeSabre:

It does explain a lot. But you see, watching this your whole life desensitized me and made me worried, "how could I ever live up to this". Also, I filled in for my friend when she was hung over and filled in at her family's gyno clinic and saw horrific STDs at 17. The combo kept me a virgin till 21. But naturally all the porn gave me very high standards when I got around to it. I'm still very paranoid till this day, but naturally my mind is always in the gutter. So yes, now that you know a bit more background it is only fair that I would never ever hold it against you, you sweetheart, Buick!
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cletar
07/17/09

@92BuickLeSabre: Ah, yes, the dump. They weren't always marriage dumps--sometimes they were break-up dumps. There was a young couple in our neighborhood that was having some sort of fight. The man--who looked not unlike a slightly sadder Matthew McConaughey in "Dazed and Confused" fled the house in a hail of verbal abuse from his lady-friend, and sped off in his Trans Am. A weeping-with-rage Mrs McConaughey then brought stacks and bags of the dude's crap out to the curb, including a bunch of LPs and a mother-lode of Playboys and Penthouses.
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spider2544
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
back when i was a kid in the 80s most people just used the sears catalog bra section.
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Bruce Jones
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
The lovely brunette in the left hand photo is Cynthia Myers, Miss December, 1968--which makes her kind of early for this article. That issue of Playboy, in describing her, began "Wholly Toledo!" --Toledo Ohio being where she hailed from. Oh, you poor young pups who missed the 60's...
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Mackinstyle
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
He has it allllll yes she does....
He knows how to please in every detail...
He can do more... than you'd ever imagine
and do it with style
He does it with me,
oh yes He does...

Taboo 2 had the best porn song ever.
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Xeno
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
Even if the article wasn't funny as hell making it awesome, just having a pic of Linda Carter makes all it worth the effort. I submit that Wonder Woman should be photo shopped into all images henceforth.
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Edited by Xeno at 07/16/09 5:14 PM Xeno was starred Xeno was unstarred

UnderLoK
07/16/09

@Xeno: Lynda who? Looking at this I feel like a kid again haha
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╠═CoolRiver45═╣
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
I don't see any brassiere ads among these pictures.

I know that's what porn amounted to when I was 12.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
07/16/09

@╠═CoolRiver45═╣: Yep, when you were desperate for porn pre-internet days that was pretty much all you had. Catalogs and Sunday circulars advertising lingerie.
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Itspeat!
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
WHO IS THAT GIRL IN THE FIRST PICTURE TO THE LEFT... she's beautiful.

Please excuse me, my Billy Mays key likes to butt in when i type sometimes
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The HZA.
07/16/09

@Itspeat!: I'm wondering who she is too. She looks familiar...
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Chris Brennan
07/16/09

@Itspeat!: cynthia myers. Thank you tineye reverse image search!
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Itspeat!
07/16/09

@The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]: she almost reminds me of some girl that would be in an Austin Powers movie...as odd as that sounds
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Itspeat!
07/16/09

@Chris Brennan: Thank you very much, thats all i have to say...and my little friend down south thanks you as well
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phaota
07/16/09

@Itspeat!: The beautiful babe is Cynthia Myers, Playboy's Miss December from 1968. How did I find that out so easily? Just looked in my great "The Complete Playboy Centerfolds" hardcover. :) Technically, though, Cynthia isn't 70s, so her pic shouldn't be up there.
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Edited by phaota at 07/16/09 6:11 PM phaota was starred phaota was unstarred

Wraithen
07/16/09

In reply to The Desperate Times Before Internet Porn
And remember there was always someone who ditched their porn mag in a field - like finding gold on a hot summer's day :D
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Gann
07/16/09

@Wraithen: I still remember the day my best friend and I stumbled upon a half dozen playboys in a grassy field by our neighborhood. And I mean actual best friend, that's not a euphemism.
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