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New York, 11:03 AM
Fri Dec 4
84 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #711 more →

    Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth

    Dealzmodo: Free Slurpees, Today Only!

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    I wonder if these were the two clerks...


     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @Jrsy Devil's Advocate: That would suck, B/c Dante "wasn't even supposed to be there today!", but would be good in that he wouldn't have been shot later in the night if someone had robbed him earlier. As for Randal, he's a Star Wars fan, so being attacked by a Star Trek weapon would have been the ultimate insult.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/05/09

    @PenneAll'Arrabbiata_GitEmSteveDave: I think that's why the second store didn't get robbed. Dante was at the first one and just gave up the cash, being his usual whiny self. Randal on the other hand shamed that geek out of the store by eviscerating him worse than the bat'leth ever could..
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Curves Curves
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Right after high schol I worked a convenience store at night, alone, and a guy started throwing firelogs at me. When I took cover he grabbed a couple of cases of beer and took off. A bat'leth would make that a much cooler story than Duraflame logs do.
     Reply
    Curves was starred Curves was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @Curves: Wait, who would have the bat'leth? Cuz I can picture you wielding it and decimating the DurasFlame logs as you split them in twain, before sending the last one sailing back at the guy with a two handed B'Arq's defense.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of Grimm85 Grimm85
    02/04/09

    @Curves: yea if it makes you feel any better it sounds kooler than my robbery story.


    I was working at a gas station and my booth was like smaller than half a prison cell. anyways the guy came into the booth with a machete and threw the phone i was using(the moron didn't even hang it up). anyways the dude was waving this thing around and there was barely enough room for both of us to stand. i was more worried id get stabbed by accident than on purpose.


    So yea yours is definitely kooler.

     Reply
    Grimm85 was starred Grimm85 was unstarred
    Image of Curves Curves
    02/04/09

    @PenneAll'Arrabbiata_GitEmSteveDave: Back then, I was much nicer (and more innocent). You are correct, that NOW I would leap over the meat display and mount a counter attack, screaming "Remember Kittimer" at the top of my lungs.
     Reply
    Curves was starred Curves was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @Curves: And as you beat the guy, say, Perhaps is a good day to try a taquito!
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @PenneAll'Arrabbiata_GitEmSteveDave: DAMN, Perhaps TODAY is a good day.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/05/09

    @Grimm85: I consider myself pretty lucky to not have any 'robbery stories' during my brief stints working in the gas station/convenience store, pizza delivery & fast food industries...
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Serolf Divad Serolf Divad
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a "Batleth."


    I guess if I were a 7-11 clerk I's pretty much sit around watching Star Trek reruns, too.

     Reply
    Serolf Divad was starred Serolf Divad was unstarred
    Image of Geisrud Geisrud
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    The clerk probably defeated him with a single Kirk Chop (tm) and then took his women.
     Reply
    Geisrud was starred Geisrud was unstarred
    Image of Lite: hates Illinois Nazis Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
    02/04/09

    @Geisrud: The clerk wasn't even supposed to be there that day.
     Reply
    Lite: hates Illinois Nazis was starred Lite: hates Illinois Nazis was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Well he did manage to score an undisclosed amount of cash from the first store so it wasn't a total loss...
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Lite: hates Illinois Nazis Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
    02/04/09

    @Jrsy Devil's Advocate: It's desperate times and we're entering con seasons. Obviously he needed cash to buy new Star Trek Cologne: Two Nacelles, One Saucer. Aww yeah, baby, his phasers are gonna be set to Lady Killer at the next con.


    As Pat Benatar said: Love is a Bat'leth field.

     Reply
    Lite: hates Illinois Nazis was starred Lite: hates Illinois Nazis was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/04/09

    @Lite: must go faster.:


    "Two Nacelles, One Saucer"

    Not sure I want to see the video of that.


    I think however that his phaser will be set to a mere stunning instead....

     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of OtisCabeal OtisCabeal
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    He may not have gotten any money the second time, but on the way out he grabbed a bunny.
    http://www.shore-leave.com/archive/28/david-simerly/klingon-bunny.jpg
     Reply
    OtisCabeal was starred OtisCabeal was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @OtisCabeal: To help you out:



    Check out this article for more help commenting: [lifehacker.com]
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of TheDustball TheDustball
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    I'm trying to decide which is funnier: the fact that some dude robbed two 7/11's with a Bat'leth, or the fact that the clerk involved in the first robbery recognized the weapon from Star Trek and was able to specifically ID it to police.
     Reply
    TheDustball was starred TheDustball was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @TheDustball: It's a pretty recognizable weapon from almost all the series and movies. Now if he used a Mek'leth, and they could ID it, THAT's a DS9 nerd right there. Although Jadzia did use it, and sexily.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of im.thatoneguy im.thatoneguy
    02/04/09

    @TheDustball:
    It is pretty recognizeable. But they also might have had a "Fantasy Sword lineup."


    "It was a two handed weird fantasy sword that was like a staff shaped like a U. Kind of like this." *Scribbles vaguely bat'leth shaped thing.

     Reply
    im.thatoneguy was starred im.thatoneguy was unstarred
    Image of Invisobel Invisobel
    02/04/09

    @im.thatoneguy: I'm picturing a lineup of a bunch of guys holding Sting, the Batleth, and Cloud's sword...
     Reply
    Invisobel was starred Invisobel was unstarred
    Image of ScottRose ScottRose
    02/04/09

    @Invisobel: In the previous time loops, however, the weapon was not identified, the second clerk did give him the money, and also Riker's beard was coming out of his own ass. I think something similar happened on TNG, but I can't remember...
     Reply
    ScottRose was starred ScottRose was unstarred
    Image of Hello Mister Walrus Hello Mister Walrus
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    It happened in Colarado Springs. Clearly criminals there need more practice.
     Reply
    Hello Mister Walrus was starred Hello Mister Walrus was unstarred
    Image of BeautifulAgony BeautifulAgony
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    And ironically, the Bat'leth means Sword of Honor. Oh, for shame.
     Reply
    BeautifulAgony was starred BeautifulAgony was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    02/04/09

    @BeautifulAgony: Ah I clicked that heart rightly!
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of BeautifulAgony BeautifulAgony
    02/04/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: *grin*
     Reply
    BeautifulAgony was starred BeautifulAgony was unstarred
    Image of schrosa schrosa
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Clearly there should be regulation and registration.
     Reply
    schrosa was starred schrosa was unstarred
    Image of BeautifulAgony BeautifulAgony
    02/04/09

    @schrosa: You're absolutely right.... these Bat'leth-related crimes are getting out of hand.
     Reply
    BeautifulAgony was starred BeautifulAgony was unstarred
    Image of admoseremic admoseremic
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Klingon's have no need for the soft human comforts of 7/11's.
     Reply
    admoseremic was starred admoseremic was unstarred
    Image of BeautifulAgony BeautifulAgony
    02/04/09

    @admoseremic: That's what they say, but they all come in for the Tlhllm'qach Slurpees.
     Reply
    BeautifulAgony was starred BeautifulAgony was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    02/04/09

    @BeautifulAgony: Don't forget the Gummi Gagh®--made, of course, with real, chewy worms.
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of lolgreg lolgreg
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    'Hand over the money!'

    'No.'

    D:
     Reply
    lolgreg was starred lolgreg was unstarred
    Image of ripfire ripfire
    02/04/09

    @lolgreg:

    "Give me all your f'n money now!"


    "Dammit Jimmy, I told you. If you don't go home right now, I'm calling your mother."

     Reply
    ripfire was starred ripfire was unstarred
    Image of SJRNWT SJRNWT
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Wow... That's pathetic lol. I have to admit I'm pretty surprised the clerk refused to give up any money-- that knife (or Bat'leth, whatever) does look pretty intimidating.
     Reply
    SJRNWT was starred SJRNWT was unstarred
    Image of Hello Mister Walrus Hello Mister Walrus
    02/04/09

    @SJRNWT: I think that the Batleth would be much less intimidating than a regular knife. First of all, it's incredibly unwieldy, and is probably not that sharp. Second, the fact that someone owns something like that tends to inspire pity or laughter, rather than fear.
     Reply
    Hello Mister Walrus was starred Hello Mister Walrus was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @SJRNWT: That clerk should be fired. It's a bad message to send to other clerks. When worked as a clerk, I was always told to do WHATEVER they wanted, within reason. If they wanted you to bring the register out to the car, un plug it and do it. If you are following procedure, you should only have ~$150.00 in your till, so you getting stabbed isn't worth it.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of logicalnoise logicalnoise
    02/04/09

    @SJRNWT: if whoever laughed him off knew anything about swords(fantasy reproductions or otherwise) he'd know that stainless steel would shatter and likely hurt the guy holding the sword before it hurt him.
     Reply
    logicalnoise was starred logicalnoise was unstarred
    Image of im.thatoneguy im.thatoneguy
    02/04/09

    @logicalnoise:
    I call shenanigans. Prop swords might be low quality but they aren't THAT low quality.


    You seriously think a piece of cast stainless steel is going to shatter when applied to human flesh? What kind of skin are you covered in?

     Reply
    im.thatoneguy was starred im.thatoneguy was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @im.thatoneguy: We have a call of Shenanigans! I repeat, a call of shenanigans.



    Game back on!
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of Hello Mister Walrus Hello Mister Walrus
    02/04/09

    @logicalnoise: If the metal in a sword is hard enough, it will shatter rather than bend if enough force is applied to it. That's why samurai swords "chip" if they are used in battle. I think this is what you are referring to. However, I am quite certain that human flesh would not provide enough resistance to break an entire blade - at least not before severe injury has been inflicted.
     Reply
    Hello Mister Walrus was starred Hello Mister Walrus was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @logicalnoise: @Hello Mister Walrus: Will it shatter more readily than my Crysknife?
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of Zomb Zomb
    02/04/09

    @logicalnoise: shatter when it hit what? The store clerks iron skin. Hes not sword fighting you know just stabbing hence the reason why people can be killed by glass. Unless you were referring to the store clerks balls of steel in that case yes the knife would shatter.
     Reply
    Zomb was starred Zomb was unstarred
    Image of Killjoy Killjoy
    02/04/09

    @Zomb: This would be a good point if you could stab with a bat'leth, but look up a picture on your local internets - the way it's shaped, you can't use it to stab. If you want any of its points to enter perpendicularly, it needs to be swung.


    So we're back to needing a lot of room for it to be effective, thus a high probability that it will hit something other than a person, thus a high probability of breaking.


    Oops. My "too serious" light just went off. Never mind all, theorycraft with a complete absence of factual consideration is not a crime.

     Reply
    Killjoy was starred Killjoy was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @Killjoy: What are you smoking. You can totally stab with a Bat'leth. Look at the shape. The outer edges are sharpened as well. You have a two edged knife.

    Look at this image. Be'lanna could stab here by just pushing forward.

     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of blauhung blauhung
    02/04/09

    @PenneAll'Arrabbiata_GitEmSteveDave: I thought the Crysknife would only shatter if it wasn't "fixed" and it's owner died or it was removed from dune.
     Reply
    blauhung was starred blauhung was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
    02/04/09

    @blauhung: IIRC, if it wasn;t "fixed", it had to be kept near the body at all time.


    But I remember Jamis said to Maud-dib before the amatal fight "May thy blade chip and shatter".

     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was starred GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid was unstarred
    Image of ripfire ripfire
    02/04/09

    In reply to Today is a Good Day To Rob Convenience Stores With a Bat'leth
    Ok, this question should have been on the GSAT.
     Reply
    ripfire was starred ripfire was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/04/09

    @ripfire: I think it was covered by question 27...
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of TBM-Fan TBM-Fan
    02/04/09

    @Jrsy Devil's Advocate: that was the swords, throwing stars and Nunchakus
     Reply
    TBM-Fan was starred TBM-Fan was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/05/09

    @TBM-Fan: I think you can agree that the Bat'leth should have been included in that question...
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
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