Running around with a dozen sparklers sticking out of your anus may sound like a good idea but most people at the barbecue won't appreciate it, your boss will probably reconsider giving you that promotion, and even if you have a good health insurance plan through your work, it probably won't be covered.
Also, don't eat fireworks. Especially lit ones. No one wants to see how long you can hold a lit M-80 between your teeth and the "let's swap a quarter-stick of dynamite for Uncle Al's cigar" is really kind of hackneyed.
Leave the fireworks to the professionals. Besides, with all the loud bangs, it's the perfect time to catch up on those murders you've been letting slide.
I used to love catching this demonstration, or one like it, on C-SPAN every year when I was a youth. I always found them doing it IN Washington DC, and the casual glances people would give it when passing behind it, funny.
07/03/09
Running around with a dozen sparklers sticking out of your anus may sound like a good idea but most people at the barbecue won't appreciate it, your boss will probably reconsider giving you that promotion, and even if you have a good health insurance plan through your work, it probably won't be covered.
Also, don't eat fireworks. Especially lit ones. No one wants to see how long you can hold a lit M-80 between your teeth and the "let's swap a quarter-stick of dynamite for Uncle Al's cigar" is really kind of hackneyed.
Leave the fireworks to the professionals. Besides, with all the loud bangs, it's the perfect time to catch up on those murders you've been letting slide.
07/03/09
Seems kinda obvious to me.
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