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The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
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discounteggroll
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
this goes against every moral shredded pork/cabbage/carrot/onion/celery/sprout in my deep fried body

great, now I'm hungry for myself =(
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JPMarat
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
What the hell is wrong with cream cheese in sushi?
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discounteggroll
03/19/09

@JPMarat:

nothing, if that's how you fly. The boat starts to shake when you talk about the killer philly/california rolls you had last night, and considering it "authentic asian food".

DO you really think some Japanese sushi chefs suddenly had an enlightenment and combined cream cheese, smoked salmon, cucumber (processed crab meat, avocado and cucumber for the cali-roll). Let's get real

There is nothing wrong with cream cheese (or anything else non-native to the Japanese culture). Just don't consider that authentic (or real) sushi. FauxShi maybe...
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92BuickLeSabre
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
My favorite is when they give you chopsticks at a Thai restaurant.

It's like this nice, subtle dig: "You might not be stupid, but you're still stupid."
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nutbastard
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
I was once given a fork and no chopsticks at a noodle house. i very calmly handed it back to the wait and said, 'i'm not that white'.
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Mayor McRib
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
As a former Midwestern Whitey McWhiterson to the now current Southern Cracker McCrackerson I would like to inform Matt that we don't eat white rice. If you knew your ass from your elbow you would know that I pay the extra $2 for chicken fried rice to douse with soy sauce AND butter. If you are trying to offend me, get your shit straight.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
I say culture be damned. I'm going to buy a case of sushi, throw it in a generic bowl I purchased from Fish Eddy's and eat that stuff with a big honking spoon.
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Steve Boone
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
I've never commented on gizmodo before, but when I see someone say that using a fork makes me a 'lousy white person' and use the term 'Midwestern Whitey McWhiterson' I think they need to be told to go fuck themselves. Matt Buchanan, you are a stupid asshole.
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92BuickLeSabre
03/19/09

@Steve Boone: This comment makes me giggle.
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@Steve Boone: What if I told you that buchanan is so white that he glows in the dark? Seriously.

When Queens loses power in the summer, they use buchanan's flaming red head as a traffic light.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@Steve Boone: "I've never commented on gizmodo before"

And with great sadness I suspect we may never hear from you again after this...
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92BuickLeSabre
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
God forbid matt make a funny!

God Forbid!

(Kudos for the spot on and hilarious post mr. buchanan.)
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@92BuickLeSabre: Yeah, take that offended white people!
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92BuickLeSabre
03/19/09

This comment makes me giggle.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
What about us crazy a-holes that like to slap wads of wasabi onto a single piece of sushi, and allow our septum to turn into a nuclear bukakke of Japan's finest horseradish fuck-your-nostrils sauce.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@Kaiser-Machead: The burning sensation means it's working...
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infmom
03/20/09

@Kaiser-Machead: Real Japanese wasabi, not the watered-down American kind.

Ohhhhhh yeah.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
"actually decent Japanese restaurant that's not a sorry hibachi joint populated by other middle-aged white folks applauding poorly paid knife-flipping cooks. You know, one that only has chopsticks."

It must suck to live wherever that is because I've been to plenty of Japanese sushi/hibachi restaurants in the Tri-State area that serve excellent food. Not only that but they even had forks available upon request.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: Agreed. The best are also generally the most accommodating. I guess I'll be one of the plebeians that likes to mix his rice with other things to the point where chopsticks are unusable.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@Kaiser-Machead: " I guess I'll be one of the plebeians that likes to mix his rice with other things.."

Hey, it's all going to the same place anyways.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
It's a good thing I'm well skilled in the usage of chopsticks otherwise I might have been offended by this..
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Mark 2000
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
I'm not a big fan of racism, so called reverse racism, or racial self deprecation. I think this post is boarder line tasteless.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@Mark 2000: Gizmodo doesn't care about white people.
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Monty
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
As soon as they release the version that turns my chopsticks into ginsu knives, this soy dripping cream cheese eating whitey is coming after you, Matt.
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armyofchuckness
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
"Because if you enjoy what you're eating and you're Caucasian, you're clearly doing it wrong."
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@armyofchuckness: I dunno. I enjoy eating pork ribs. A lot. And I'm Jewish.

Now chitlins... those are nasty. As are trotters, blood sausage of any variety, most Scottish fare, frogs legs, oxtail, curried goat, tongue of any kind, and, the most disgusting food of all time:

Fried chicken anus (from Korea)
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Well you're right to dislike trotters. Pigs, as they do not sweat, expel waste in any form they can. One such way is through canals located in their feet.

C'mon, no gusta fried cloaca? :P
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@Kaiser-Machead: HELL NO!

Anything that translates to "chicken shit-hole" is not something I want anywhere near my mouth. I don't want A2M in any aspect of my life.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Well I'd still rather have oxtail and curried goat over roast tarantula. Freaks me the hell out.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@OMG! Ponies!: "I don't want A2M in any aspect of my life."

Not even in the bedroom??
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: I think I was abundantly clear.

No A2M.
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nutbastard
03/19/09

@OMG! Ponies!:

what about dick-into-dick?
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@nutbastard (Everyone come to snowmodo!!!):

A) I imagine that would hurt.

B) I don't think that's how gay sex works.

C) That's not a catheter.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@nutbastard (Everyone come to snowmodo!!!): No, and he's probably not going to enjoy D2M or D2A either...
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N@tedog
03/20/09

@OMG! Ponies!: All ingredients in Kellog's Smacks. Seriously.. who eats that crap flavored cardboard?
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Ibelieveinsandwitches
03/19/09

In reply to The Chopsticks Aid Turns Chopsticks Into Forks for Lousy White People
people that don't know how to use chopsticks can burn in hell for all i care.
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jrghoull
03/19/09

@Ibelieveinsandwitches: yeah that's a healthy attitude to take.
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MetallicaRat
03/19/09

@Ibelieveinsandwitches: I've never eaten sandwitches with chopsticks.
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Kaiser-Machead
03/19/09

@Ibelieveinsandwitches: Or can just go back to their sissy sporks.
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OMG! Ponies!
03/19/09

@Ibelieveinsandwitches: Unbaptized babies don't know how to use chopsticks.

Are we going back to condemning unbaptized babies to hell?
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HawaiianActor
03/19/09

@MetallicaRat: good for you... he was talking about people who don't know haw to use them, not people who don't use them for everything they eat... (not backing the whole "burn in hell" part, just sayin...)
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@jrghoull: "yeah that's a healthy attitude to take."

It's a lot healthier than drowning your white rice in salty soy sauce..
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/19/09

@OMG! Ponies!: "Are we going back to condemning unbaptized babies to hell?"

Wait you mean we stopped doing that? Damn, I guess I've some apologies to administer then..
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