I actually get pissed off in TV shows and movies (Jerry Friggin' Maguire comes to mind) when people in coach eavesdrop on people in first class, or vice versa, because airplane engine white noise is just too thick for that to realistically happen. But now, apparently, it's all coming horrifically true: Pilots say that when they are on breaks, they can hear "every crying baby, snoring passenger and flushing toilet," says Wired's Autopia blog.

According to a publication called Flightglobal, the Dubai-based Emirates Air is begging Airbus for some kind of solution to the problem that would not, of course, weigh things down. Emirates SVP Capt. Ed Davidson says that pilots are complaining: "On our other aircraft, the engines drown out the cabin noise. [On the A380] the pilots sleep with earplugs, but the cabin noise goes straight through them."

Wired also quotes Airbus nemesis Boeing on the subject:

In stories about the A380 passenger experience, we read that even seated by a window, you could hear conversations on the other side of the airplane, or even several rows away. In some reports, when passengers mentioned that this might be a bit disconcerting, they were told that one might have to “get used to” eavesdropping on an airplane...

Man, they didn't even get to bodily functions and I'm already sorta kinda feeling sorry for all those billionaire oil barons who fly the Emirates' skies. Small saving grace: When flying Singapore Airlines's A380s, at least they won't have to put up with assorted clumsy attempts at joining the Mile High Club. [Wired]

That could mean a "stretch" Airbus A380 could be adjusted to hold as many as 1000 passengers depending on the carrier. Airbus will begin developing the larger version after the standard plane reaches full production in 2010. Dubai-based Emirates Airline, the company's biggest client, has already shown interest, saying it would buy a new model when they become available. [Kansas via Luxist]

"So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne — and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" asked Tony Elwood, a 76-year-old passenger who booked the suite with his wife, Julie. "Seems a bit strange."

Let's not forget that Singapore Airlines is based in a country which still deems it okay to smack people with a rattan cane for even the slightest transgression, so you'd better keep that johnson in your pants, big boy. "There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren't, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft," proclaims Stephen Forshaw, a Singapore Airlines official. He warns, "If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist."

Since the doors close on the suites, how on earth are Singapore Airlines flight attendants going to know who is engaging in the old in/out and who isn't? It's always so noisy in aircraft anyway, you could be screaming to high heaven and no one would ever know.

We're thinking one of the most difficult temptations to resist aboard a Singapore Airlines double-bed flight is avoiding asking one of those gorgeous flight attendants, known as "the Singapore Girls," to join us inside the comfy suite. But then, for the $14,320 price for two tickets in one of the suites, we'd hope a good swift caning would be included in the ticket price. [Times Online, via Fleshbot (NSFW)]

Okay, okay, the MacBook was just photoshopped in there for fun! [Airliners.net]

While the ink on Joseph Lau's order of a $153 million Dreamliner VIP is still wet, an anonymous billionaire has just reserved a gigantastic Airbus A380 for his private use. The eight-story-tall airplane will be converted into a luxurious flying mansion that will include everything you can imagine, even the obligatory whirlpool bathtub for romantic sessions with half a dozen Playboy bunnies. The secret buyer will have to pay $475 million if it ever gets delivered, as it's currently number 157 in line to get the two-year delayed winged pachyderm, and all I can ask is...

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– Jesus Diaz

Billion Air: How Much Would You Pay for a Flying House? [Wired]

Of course, this plane is just sitting on the ground, and it isn't on fire, on its side, or in the water, so a real crash would obviously be a tad bit different. But still, it's somewhat comforting to know that if shit goes down the potential is there to get you out of harms way ASAP. Plus, those slides look kind of fun. –Adam Frucci

The monstrous double-decker Airbus A380 made its maiden voyage to the United States yesterday, landing at New York's JFK airport, and a few minutes later, another one landed at Los Angeles's LAX. While these were not the first flights of the world's largest passenger airplane—that happened in April of 2005—it is the first time the plane has flown to the United States.

It's part of a publicity tour of the Airbus A380, showing people that this gigantic tin can stuffed with 300 miles of wires inside and a wingspan the size of a football field can actually fly. Airbus officials may feel a little antsy because none of the planes have been bought by U.S. airlines, which prefer smaller planes carrying fewer passengers on more nonstop flights. But yes, the gargantuan flying machines actually made it to the U.S.; Check out the video and see one of them landing at LAX for yourself. – Charlie White

World's largest passenger airliner comes to L.A. [native intelligence]

Pictured above is a relaxing area for business meetings and general partying, and many of those seats can be converted into beds. Click through the gallery below for pictures of its huge board room and a luxo-sport bar for carousing at 35,000 feet, as well as generic pics of the Airbus 380 exterior. We just want to see a picture of that 600-square-foot master bedroom with its miraculously quick draining whirlpool tub. – Charlie White

Update: The picture of the dining room/boardroom in the gallery is designed by Edése Doret, the others are possible designs for the Airbus A380 created by Lufthansa Technik.

Airbus A380 VIP 'Flying Palace' Interior Design Unveiled [Space.com, via Born Rich]