Netflix/Gamefly Subscription: Anyone who wouldn't appreciate a year's worth of unlimited game or movie rentals is not someone worth buying a gift for. And the great thing about Netflix/Gamefly is that you can't possibly buy them this subsciption from a physical store. In other words, you won't look lazy when their gift announcement arrives in eCard certificate form. Starting at about $100/year. [Netflix/Gamefly]

Nook: How can you possibly buy someone a Nook for Christmas when it's been delayed until February? Exactly! Order a Nook today and then say, "Sorry, I ordered it for you well before Christmas, but those darned manufacturing delays for this highly anticipated product seemed to have spoiled my plans." $259 [Nook]

iTunes album/movie: In case you wanted to go a bit more personal than an iTunes gift card (and you are too lazy to leave the house to buy one, even though that just means running to the drug store), gift an album straight through the iTunes Store. It's easy, just right click on the buy icon and select the gift option. All you need is an email to send a friend an album. Also, you can always print it out, too. $10ish

Magazine Subscription: Every time I receive a copy of Chicago magazine in the mail, I think about how my mother-in-law kindly gifted it to me. But you know what? She could have ordered that subscription AFTER she handed me a symbolic copy on Christmas morning. Spice things up a bit by buying a magazine that's hard to acquire. My best recommendation? Edge, the best-written, most beautifully laid out gaming magazine in the world. $76 [Edge]

Zune Pass/Last.fm: If you've never used an unlimited music service, you've missed out. It's basically radio on demand without a $1 charge every time you want to listen to a song. And while subscription fees might keep you from buying it for yourself, this is a gift, so the recipient need only enjoy. Zune Pass and Last.fm are both excellent options for unlimited tunage. Zune $15/month Last.fm $3/month Note: I'm fairly certain you can gift Zune Pass online, but didn't go through the whole process. [Zune/Last.fm]

Burned Disc of Torrentz: I wouldn't recommend this for mom or grandma, but for a friend you casually meet over the holidays, why not just burn them a copy of something valuable you...err...procured online. Your favorite music, a movie that hasn't left theaters yet, a bootleg of Windows 7 Ultimate—whatever—just make it something you know they'll like, and be sure to stick a bow on it $$=FREE

Bacon of the Month Club: 12 months. 12 different artisan bacons. Need I say more? $315 [Grateful Palate]

Don't Buy a Star: There are a countless number of stars in the Universe. And you know what? When we're traveling the cosmos, no one plotting star charts is going to acknowledge Mark Rox Bacon 2009 as the official name of some red giant on the verge of engulfing the first intelligent life we encounter. Or, even worse, the star's name will be acknowledged and your love's name will go down in infamy. Smooth move. [Star Registry]

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Vinturi Wine Aerator: For wine to reach its full potential, it needs to breathe. For centuries, people have been doing this with decanters, letting the wine sit out of the bottle to release its aromas and flavors. That's great if you've got the time, but more often than not when you crack open that bottle you just don't... want... to wait. Or maybe that's just me. Pouring your wine through an aerator gives you the full effect of a decanter, just without the agonizing wait. They can be ordered directly from Vinturi for $40, but you can get them a little cheaper on Amazon. [Vinturi, Amazon]

Dripless Wine Pourer: Not only is every drop of alcohol precious, so is the easily stainable wood coffee table your drink sits on. This dripless pourer makes sure your wine ends up where it belongs: in the glass. For just $3, you can even spring for a multitude of these for your next dinner party. [Crate&Barrel]

Knuckle Duster Corkscrew: A straightforward rebuttle to those who think wine is for sissies. This may not be the most practical corkscrew in existence, but it's undeniably the most manly. It will no doubt come in handy the next time someone favorably compares a Rioja to a Beaujolais. $13. [ThinkGeek]

A home brew kit: This site has already gone on record as being serious supporters of brewing your own suds. The short version, if you need one: it's cheap, it's easy, it's fun. There are a lot of options out there, but I'd recommend the Brooklyn Brew Shop for its ease of use and adventurous seasonal flavors. For $40 you can get a one gallon kit and a supply of any one of their nine grain varieties, ranging from Eggnog Milk Stout to Grapefruit Honey Ale to to a more straightforward Tripel. For serious home brewers, a five gallon kit is also available for $125. [Brooklyn Brew Shop]

A covert alcohol storage and transportation system: You may laugh now, but you never know when you might have to smuggle beer into a situation where it's not generally socially acceptable. For whiskey, there are flasks. For more pedestrian potables? The Beerbelly and the Winerack. For stealth you'll want to go Winerack, but for sheer volume and the odd experience of displaying reverse-bloat the more you drink, you can't go wrong with the Beerbelly's 80 oz. bladder. Perhaps not surprisingly, these are made by the same company. One stop shopping! $30 for the Winerack; $35 for the Beerbelly. [The Beer Belly]

Bad Decision Blocker: Perfect for those who have that someone (or someones) in their lives that they can't help reaching out to when they've had a few too many. Bad Decision Blocker is an app that lets you deny yourself access to certain numbers at previously designated hours. Which, let's be honest, after 3 am should be your whole phone book. $1. [App Store Link]

Space beer: It's a long shot, since only 250 boxes available and you have to win a lottery to be eligible to taste or buy one. But if you happen to be one of the lucky few, what could be better than beer brewed from barley that's spent five months in space? Well, not necessarily better-taste wise. But you can't beat it for uniqueness. [Sapporo Breweries]

Coors Light Cold-Activated Cans: Let's be honest. The only reason it needs to be so cold is to freeze your tongue so you can't actually taste this pisswater. Get them a nice cask ale instead.

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite drinking gadgets in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

If you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Battling Helicopters: There's no better way to learn the mysteries of heavier-than-air flight than to spin up a few air hogs and have them shoot each other out of the sky—in your living room. Seriously, these things may be expensive but they're fun for everybody who doesn't catch one in the eye, and they're surprisingly durable. They come out of China under a few different brand names, so root around, and see if you can find a better deal. $170; Ages 8 and up [Amazon]

Crayola Crayon Maker: Awarded as a top "green" toy by the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio, Crayola's crayon melter works a little like an EZ Bake oven, only with better results. The kid throws in used crayons, and out come shiny whole new ones, sometimes in new never-before-seen colors. And the best part—the new edition apparently doesn't pop open while the crayon wax is still molten. Safety first! $30; Ages 8 and up [Review; Amazon]

Rabbids Go Home: If you're tired of Mario and want to wipe that stupid mustache off his face, the gift to get kids is this crazy Wii title from Ubisoft, where the only guy with facial hair is Santa Claus, and he gets yelled at until he's... stripped down to his underpants... for some reason. OK, so it doesn't all make sense, but damnit if it's not a change of pace, and a way to keep the little troublemakers busy without learning to shoot, steal cars and price shop for hookers. Reviewed by kid-friendly Stephen Totilo over at Kotaku. $50; Rated E—ages 10 and up [Review; GameStop]

Nano Hexbugs: Last year, Hexbugs were all the rage, so it just makes sense that this year is all about Nano Hexbugs. As your finely tuned Jobsian brain already guessed, they're smaller. And they're cheaper. And they wiggle and jiggle and move fast as hell, and flip over and right themselves, and it's just bunches of fun for all ages (except for babies, who could choke on them). Shown here much larger than actual size. $10; Ages 3 and up [Hexbug]

Mosaic Stone Kit: What better thing to get a kid than a bag of cement mix and some broken glass? Just add water, colorful shards, and the feet of anybody you want to sleep with the fishes, and presto, you got art/revenge. Seriously, mosaics are good ways to teach geometry, history, spatial reasoning and chemistry all at the same time. Oh, and the website assures buyers that the glass "gems" are smooth. $16; Ages 7 and up [Constructive Playthings]

Leapfrog Musical Table: As a real live parent who had to put up with this thing nonstop for a straight six months, I can tell you that a) my kid never got sick of it, b) it was the least annoying of her chirping, chattering musical doodads, and c) there's a reason she could sing the ABC's before she could say anything else that resembled English. (She was fluent in Huttese, I am convinced, but that's another story.) The only bad thing about this classic is that so many new parents have it already, you need to ask before you buy. If they do have it, go with Leapfrog's My Pal Scout. $34 or find it used; Ages 6-18 months [Amazon]

Duck Duck Moose iPhone Apps: Again, take it from a parent, these musical baby games—based on the classic tunes "Wheels on the Bus," "Old McDonald" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider"—are colorful, interactive, distracting and not annoying. OK, so the opera singer occasionally wears down your patience, but that's why there are a bunch of different downloadable music options, and even vocals done in different languages. The visuals are cartoony and funny, with aliens abducting cows, pigs painting masterpieces and spiders like tripping acid and building webs on rainbows or something. My kid asks for each of them by name. Buy them all, and keep a look out for more. $1-$2; Ages 12 months and up [iTunes Link]

Lego Star Wars: Of all the shameless marketing crossovers in history, this is perhaps the most enduring and ultimately legitimate. I say this with a note of jealousy, as a guy (like Jesus) who cherished his non-movie-themed gray castle and rocket moon base. Yes, buy some kid a Vader TIE Fighter, if only so you can have the chance to crack it open and "help" build it. Ranges widely; kit shown above $33; Ages 8 and up [Toys R Us]

Settlers of Catan: Sure, the game has become a meme, but damn it if it didn't earn that status as the most engrossing yet welcoming board game since Monopoly. And there's nothing sexual or violent, unless you count a few hundred sheep and a handful of soldiers. Sure there are video game versions of it, but the flesh-and-blood edition lets you watch the board get torn down and remade over and over, leveling the playing field again and again. But when the kids finally learn to beat your ass, you definitely should sneak online to polish up your settlement-to-city conversion skills. $34; Ages 10 and up [Toys R Us]

DON'T BUY Elmo Robots: In the past, we were on the fence, but having lived with too many Fisher-Price Sesame Street toys, I can say that they're just not great. They're hard cold plastic things, not at all plush and huggable, and they're noisy—both because of their programmed sounds and because of their mechanical wheezing. If you have to go with with something robotic and Elmo-themed (and I do understand that pull), go with Elmo Tickle Hands. They don't make this "least annoying" list, because you have to keep playing the 3-minute DVD over and over again for the full effect, but they're cheaper ($22 vs $54) and are more entertaining for the youngins.

DON'T BUY Zhu Zhu Hamsters: Look, these things are the Cabbage Patch Tickle Me Furby of the year. You couldn't find them at a sane price if you tried. But since some reviewers have labeled them as potentially "annoying for adults," you can just skip the hunt. And while we're at it, don't buy "Screature" either. Do I have to explain why?

A Book: We usually reserve one spot for a magical fantasy gift, but kids these days have everything you ever had and one hell of a lot more. I don't want to sound like Captain OG Readmore or anything, but I have fond memories of reading with my dad, and now my kid already begs to sit down and read with me. (She can't read yet, but why spoil it with the truth?) Buy a book—track down one of your childhood favorites—out-of-print or in a new edition—on Amazon or Alibris, and then show it off to the kid you're giving it to. I am not trying to be sentimental, I just wanted to make sure you knew this was an option, one that doesn't make kids' hands sticky or dirty, doesn't emit loud noises or unexpected exclamations, and doesn't hum or vibrate mysteriously when you're trying to watch TV late at night. Any price; All ages [Wherever Books Are Sold]

This list is far from comprehensive, so don't forget to hit comments and recommend the least annoying toys you can think of, too—include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for some time, so keep looking it over.

(If you hate the gallery view as much as some of us hate Twilight, click here.)

MAKE: Gifts You Can Make

MAKE is a great stop for DIY aficionados, and while they've got a heap of different gift guides this year—not to mention a guest gift guide by MAKE's Phil Torrone on Giz—the Gifts You Can Make guide is a classic. Got a musician friend who could use a new amp, but you literally spent your last dollar on a box of crackers? MAKE's got you covered. [MAKE]

Agriculture Online: Gift-Giving Guide for Farm Folks

Agriculture Online's gift guide for farmers is full of unintentionally hilarious recommendations for a communist San Francisco liberal media elite blogger like myself—are all farmers also soldiers? Because I don't understand why you'd give your local asparagus farmer a "Christmas Ornament for the Troops" if he's just out there harvesting delicious produce. I love asparagus, but I don't think growing it is technically a military position.

On the other hand, the Carhartt Flame-Resistant Jacket is indeed an excellent choice for a welder, or anyone sufficiently badass enough to need a jacket incapable of catching fire. Thanks, Agriculture Online! [Agriculture Online]

PhillyBurbs: Gifts for the "Biggest Loser" in Your Life

You guys, this is the worst gift guide ever. It's not a list of recommendations for people trying to lose weight. It's just a list of every The Biggest Loser branded product out there—like a workout mix CD with "kickin', pumpin' beats" and a memoir written by the first female winner—masquerading as a list of health tools. The only good recommendation: The Biggest Loser for Wii, good because it's the only game to date to prominently feature fat people jumping on trampolines. [PhillyBurbs]

BobVila.com: The Official 2009 Bob Vila Gift Guide

Bob Vila, home improvement kingpin and long-time rival to Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, is exactly the man I'd ask for a recommendation on a new power drill or workbench, if I was a totally different person and had any use for those kinds of things. His recommendations are actually kind of interesting, leaning toward design-focused items like the $200 Sorapot Tea Infusion Pot as well as goofy items like a handsaw-shaped kitchen knife. Luckily, he doesn't forget his roots, recommending an array of scary-looking power tools. [BobVila]

The New York Times: 2009 Gift Guide

The New York Times gift guide delivers 50, count 'em, 50 separate full-featured guides on a wide variety of subjects, from the arts to electronics to cooking to travel. And yet it's also oddly personal and likable, with quirky inclusions like the underrated and swiftly cancelled Andy Barker, P.I. on DVD and a giant grillable slab of pink Himalayan salt (very fashionable in the world of modern cuisine). The one notable omission is a guide to 2009's pop music—it's been a pretty solid year and a simple top ten list would've been welcome.

Still, it's such a damnably good bunch of guides that it threatens to take away the ego boost I get when people ask me what to buy. This year, instead of excitedly talking up the new Islands album or the Zune HD, I'll just be sighing, looking glumly at my shoes, and emailing a link to the Times' gift guide. Way to take the joy out of the holidays, New York Times. [NY Times]

Truck Trend: 2009 Truck Trend Holiday Gift Guide

Truck Trend's 2009 gift guide does not recommend a truck. Instead they recommend $500 sunglasses and a $14,000 racing simulator. And another pair of $350 sunglasses. I'm giving Truck Trend a big fat DON'T BUY just on principle. [Truck Trend]

OK! Magazine: Twilight Gift Guide

This one actually recommends more ridiculous/creepy items than the The Biggest Loser gift guide (see picture), but it's easier to swallow because I think the Twilight series actually has fans weird enough to buy this stuff. The problem is, it totally ignores the awkwardness of walking into Nordstrom's and having to buy a $30 "Team Edward" t-shirt for your niece. The last recommendation on this list should be a nice, clean Amazon gift card, no shame attached. [OK!]

Etsy: Gift Guides

Etsy is the one place on earth where you are sure to find pastel pink knitted kitten mittens, and their gift guide provides everything a knitting enthusiast might want. Unfortunately their gift guide is pretty overwhelming, with way too many gifts per category and no sense that someone with individual taste put the list together. That being said, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. [Etsy]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite gift guide in comments—include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

23andMe: What better way to make up for neglecting your girlfriend than by giving her the most personal gift possible: a detailed analysis of her genetic code. She'll be able to learn about her descendants as well as get clued in on what sorts of diseases she needs to look out for in the future. And as an added bonus, all that data she'll get will require a good amount of time for her to go through. Time you can spend playing video games. $300-$500 [23 and Me]

Classmates.com membership: Nothing will make her appreciate your half-assed brand of boyfriending like a trip down ex-boyfriend lane, especially the high school sections. Look, you might not be able to make it through a dinner without dicking around with your phone, but at least you didn't get fat and never leave your hometown like these schlubs. Here's to being the most palatable of an unpalatable group! $39 [Classmates.com]

New Super Mario Bros Wii: Your girlfriend might hate Modern Warfare 2, but if there's any game that will turn a game-averse girl into a trash-talking controller jockey, it's this one. You can play together, alternating between helping each other out and throwing each other into bottomless pits. I'm sure there's a metaphor for your relationship in there somewhere, but I'll leave it to you to suss out. $50 [Amazon.com]

Don't Buy: Kitchen Gadgets: Even if she says she wants to get more into cooking, you probably don't want to give her a kitchen gadget as a gift. I mean, sure, you might think that her making a delicious meal for the two of you while you surf the web sounds great, but insinuating that that's how she should pass her time will probably earn you a swift kick to the hanging brains.

Asus O!Play: Getting a gadget for a gadget-wary girl might seem like an obvious blunder, but think about it: with this thing, you can stream downloaded movies and TV shows to your TV that you can watch together! As long as you are well prepared with some of her favorite movies and shows, you'll be able to sneak in some gadget-lust fulfillment in a way that you can enjoy it together instead of by yourself. A novel thought! $99 [Link]

TiVo HD: Look, you don't have to be super into gadgets to appreciate the quality of a TiVo HD when compared to the crap DVR your cable company provides. And this is, again, something you can use together rather than something she has to tolerate you paying attention to instead of her. $215 [Amazon.com]

Canon 7D: If there's a guaranteed way to get her into gadgets, it's buying her one of the best. And really, if she's into photography even a little bit, she'll love the 7D. It's a monster of a camera, one that'll have her taking pictures all the time. Looking for something a bit cheaper? Check out our DSLR buying guide. $1,900 [Link; Amazon.com]

Don't Buy: Dyson DC25: You don't want to get this for the same reason you don't want to get her a kitchen gadget, but even more so. You can be into cooking, but no one is passionate about cleaning. Seriously, if you value your relationship at all, avoid at all costs, no matter how cool you think the vacuum is. $500 [Link; Amazon.com]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite girlfriend-pleasing gifts in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

Those of you who hate the gallery format can see it all on one page by clicking here. Oh, and basically everything in this post is NSFW.

The Fleshlight: There are many flavors to the Fleshlight—you can now even custom design it to your specifications—but the base idea remains constant through all of them. It's a plastic flashlight you place your junk into. The sensation is halfway between your hand and a real person, which explains its popularity despite the extra preparation and cleanup. Your giftee will thank you for the experience, but curse you for the added work. $50-$90, depending on the type of Fleshlight and type of hole. [Review]

Form 2: For the ladies, you have the Form 2 from Jimmy Jane. It's a palm-sized vibrator that Fleshbot claims is basically the best vibrator around. The semi-discrete bunny-shaped body means it's up to your female (or male) loved one to figure out how they want to use it. $135. [JimmyJane]

FyreTV: The first set-top-box, all-in-one digital streaming solution to get porn from the internets onto a big-ass living room HDTV. It's not free, but the amount of variety included beats having to haul over to the adult video store every time your friend needs a new title for his DVD player. $10 a month, plus more for more credits. [FyreTV; Review]

Real Touch: It's like a Fleshlight that knows exactly what porn you're watching, and moves exactly as the person onscreen does. Fleshbot's review says it's pretty darn good, but due to technical problems with Windows 7—damn you Microsoft!!!—we haven't been able to test it out ourselves. We can say that it's like putting a football-sized piece of plastic up to your groin, but since it doesn't work yet, we can't say much else. Oh, and there's no Mac support. So make sure your recipient doesn't have a Mac (or knows how to use boot camp). $200, plus more for more minutes. [Real Touch; Fleshbot Review]

The OhMiBod: Yeah, it's the vibrator that works in sync with an iPod. This is the closest a person's going to get to actually making love with an Apple device without sticking it inside themselves. Plus, they get to hear their own music while they pleasure themselves. So, double bonus for that Apple fan on your gift list. $130. [Babeland; Review]

Mini DisplayPort to HDMI Adapter: And what if a person wants to get their porn onto their TV while still taking advantage of all the free adult content out there? Easy: just hook up a Mac to a TV with an adapter. It's easily cheaper than paying over and over for so-called premium content, seeing as any local BitTorrent site has lots of porn for your friend to slurp down. $70 [Kanex; Review]

Real Doll: It's old, in internet years, but no company has quite managed to get their product to a stage to rival the Real Doll. Yeah, it's a full body simulation of a woman, and it costs so much that it's unlikely that you're going to buy this for anyone but yourself. And even then, it's super unlikely, thanks to the price. But it is the closest you're going to get to being intimate with a robot in the next 10 years. $6000 [Real Doll]

Any iPhone porn app: Do you hate the person you're giving this to? Are you trying to drum up business for local optometrists? There are plenty of better, and LARGER, porn opportunities than trying to squint at something on an iPhone. Not to mention that these apps are all super crappy anyway. [iPhone NSFW]

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

Click here to see all the gifts in a single page.

Objectified: This documentary has its ups and downs, but it's good. If you are new to industrial design, it is going to give you a good view on how they make all these objects around us. More importantly, it will explain to you why they are the way they are, and what good design is all about. If you are not new to industrial design, it's worthy just to see Dieter Rams talking about design, and listen to Jon Ive getting all lyrical with his British accent. A perfect stocking filler for just $10. [iTunes Store]

New York Coffee Cup: It seems ordinary, and it is. It's not beautiful either. But with time and use, certain objects become popular icons that resonate through millions of photos, illustrations, movies and daily scenes. The New York "We Are Happy To Serve You" paper coffee cup, introduced in 1963, is one of them. Designer Exceptionlab collaborated with the Sweetheart Cup Company to turn the latter's paper cup into beautiful ceramics that actually feel like paper. The ordinary and disposable—180 million are used in NYC every year—turned into permanent design. $14. [Moma Store]

Lego Architecture buildings: There are many to choose from, including landmarks like New York's Empire State Building and Chicago's John Hancock Center, but my favorite is Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater house, perhaps because I always wanted to live in a house like that in the middle of the woods. That or in a sailboat across the world. Or both. From $20 for the landmark buildings to $100 of the Falling Water House. [Lego]

Paul Smith wallet: I know, wallets are boring. But not these. Why? They have neekeed ladies. The pretty pin-ups wallets designed by Paul Smith come in different sizes and configurations. The leather is beautiful, and so is the printing. How do I know it? Because I have the one in the photo. Start at $195. [Paul Smith]

BeoVision 10: Hookai, so generally I don't like B&O's overpriced AV equipment. I don't like most of their designs either. They just don't seem honest enough to me, except for the BeoVision 10. If I wanted to have a TV, this would be the one. I'm partial to projectors and silver screens, though. $8700 [B&O]

Braun wall audio equipment by Dieter Rams: I don't care if they work or not. I just want two L 450 flat loudspeakers, one TG 60 reel-to-reel tape recorder, one TS 45 control unit, and a PCS5 turntable. That's how beautiful audio looked in the sixties, and nothing has ever come close. And you know, actually I'm sure that the units you can find up for auction—mainly in Europe—still work fine, unlike their modern counterparts. You can find them on eBay starting at around $400. [EBay]

IMPOSSIBLE Replica of the America schooner: Yes, it is a sailboat. It's also one of the most beautifully designed objects I've ever cross paths with: The replica of a 1851 schooner called America. The original went to England to challenge the Brits at their own sailing game and won, becoming the origin of the America's Cup race. It's an example of beautiful honest design, in which every detail answered a need, nothing was extra, and every element was beautifully handcrafted, in harmony with everything else on board. The 140-foot schooner can carry 49 people, although I would like one just to carry two grown-ups and supplementary little people all around the world, with friends coming and going all the time. Just too expensive for most of us.

DON'T BUY Gadget cases: I have a hard time thinking about Jon Ive getting pissed off, like they would say in Inn-Gland. So calm, so civilized and zen and British... until he sees someone using an iPhone with a horrible case around it. I imagine he goes bonkers every time he sees his beautiful iPhone—one of the most minimalistic and beautiful electronic objects in existence—wrapped in a bag of naffness. Putting a case around a beautiful object is just not a possibility for anyone who really loves good design. I don't care if it's to protect it. I shattered my phone against the asphalt the other day to the tune of a $200 replacement, and I'm not putting it in a case. Why? Because beautiful objects are made to be enjoyed as they are, as the designer imagined them.

Sure, you can personalize them with a gelaskin or something that you make on your own. That's part of the life of the object too. But stuffing it into a fugly mass-produced plastic case? That's like someone putting golf pants in Michelangelo's David. Or your grandmother covering her sofa with a plastic cover. Or your going through life not loving or taking risks just because you are afraid you are going to break or get scratched. What's the point if you can't enjoy something fully? Exactly, there's no point. Don't buy. [Don't buy]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite gifts for design lovers in the comments-include pics and pricing if possible.
All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock: Step one to showing up on time is getting up on time, and there's simply no way to ignore the siren song Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock. The 113dB blast is almost as loud as a jet plane, and it shakes the entire bed, traumatically jolting even the utterly comatose to life. It's also simply a horrible way to wake up. $43. [Link]

Jolt Caffeinated Gum: Late people don't have time to make coffee or brush their teeth. Jolt's spearmint gum takes care of caffeine and fresh breath in seconds. Sorta. $3-$10. [Link]

Vibram FiveFingers Sprint Shoes: When all else fails—like public transit in New York City—sometimes you've just gotta sprint to where you're going. Vibram's FiveFingers shoes are the footies of choice for Google's Sergey Brin, and the center of a hippie natural running movement. Also, the hideousness should make you run even faster to wherever you're going. $80. [Link]

5 Second Stadium As passive-aggressive as it gets, Namco's 5 Second Stadium is gift that says, "Can't you learn how to tell time, assclown?" $14. [Link]

Motorola Droid: Why a Droid? Two reasons: Using Google Navigation on Android 2.0, nobody can claim they got lost, and on Google Latitude, everybody knows exactly where you're at. $150-$200. [Link]

Tokyoflash Watches: They look awesome, but no one call tell what the hell time it is with these things. $43-$250. [Link]

Casio G-Shock Watch: Casio's G-Shock watches withstand serious abuse and drowning, so excuses like "Oh, I broke my watch" won't exactly fly. And uh, neon green's a real hard color to ignore. $110. [Link]

Hermione's Time Turner: Our fantasy gift, we're talking about the real thing, not the $50 knock off on Amazon. Turn back time, and arrive everywhere right when you're supposed to. Oh, who am I kidding? I'd still be late. Priceless (or $50 on Amazon). [Link]

I was late turning this in, so surely, there's something I missed—toss your own ideas in the comments.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

Click here to see all the gifts in a single page.

From the Earth to the Moon - The Signature Edition: This is one of my favorite TV series of all time. It's well scripted, acted, filmed, and directed, to the point in which you will get glassy eyes at some of the most dramatic and epic moments. My favorite is still the episode in which Apollo 12 arrives at the Moon, perhaps the most anticlimactic moment in the history of space travel. Even if you watched this on TV, each of the 12 episodes are a must to fully understand the titanic scope, knowledge, and courage that took humans into their trip from the Earth to the Moon. $15 [Amazon]

Lego Saturn V: This one is a given: Saturn V + command module + lunar module + lunar rover + Lego = Insane win. I wish it was as big as the gigantic Millennium Falcon, but it's good enough as it is. Everyone will like the set, and it's a perfect way to celebrate the 40 Anniversary of humankind's first trip to the Moon. $139 [Amazon]

Moonfire: At $1500, this is one very expensive book. But it is a limited edition of 1969 units. The last 12 of them—numbered from 1958 to 1968—have a moon rock inside, but those go for a creditbreaking $90,500. And the moon rock is not from the Apollo mission, but from a certified meteor. Alternatively, you can always buy the beautiful—and a lot cheaper at $31—Full Moon. $1500 [Taschen]

Trip to the Kennedy Space Center to watch a shuttle launch: Going to the Kennedy Space Center is always fun. Going to see a launch and feel the ground tremble below your feet while the sky fires up in Halloween orange and chimney red? Simply amazing. Going to watch one of the last shuttle launches next year? An absolute must. If you give this trip to any space aficionado out there, he or she will love you forever. $38 adult/$28 child for the admission ticket, add $21 adult/$15 child for guided tour, plus cost of flight and hotel. [Kennedy Space Center]

NASA Flight Jacket: The other day I got a real USAF fighter pilot jacket at a second hand shop. I wish I had that for a perfectly dorky Tom Cruise impression at the Dubai Air Show. This NASA Flight Jacket is the next best thing. Kind of. And it comes with all the patches. You only have to provide the Right Stuff. $79.99 [The Space Shop]

American Optics Pilot Eyeglasses: OK, so you got the jacket. Now you need the sunglasses. Forget about Ray-Bans. These American Optics' Original Pilot Sunglasses are the real thing, used by astronauts since the beginning of the human space program. You can choose different colors, lenses, and temples at their web site. Unfortunately, they no longer make the yellow bayonet model used by Michael Collins during the Apollo 11. Those are my favorites (pictured here). $70. [American Optics]

IMPOSSIBLE Ride in the Space Shuttle: Even if you had all the money in the world, NASA would never let you ride the shuttle. A Soyuz spacecraft, sure, but no space shuttle. Nosir, no big bang for you on top of this Reagan era wonder. You will have to enjoy this video and get over it, because sadly it wouldn't happen even if you were Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and JesusChrist all rolled into one. No price tag. But you can go on Virgin Galactic for a cool $200k. [NASA]

DON'T BUY Astronaut ice cream: This thing is disgusting. I want to like it every time I try it, but it has the most horrible taste. Maybe they should clean those astronauts more throughly before making ice cream with them. Die space ice cream, die! Give me Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie any day. $4 [The Space Shop]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite space gifts in the comments-include pics and pricing if possible.
All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Remote Fetch: Ball chasing is very good exercise for pooches, even if it can cause obsession and anti social tendencies that will result in thousands of dollars in dog therapy. Capable of being remote triggered at 7 or 15 second intervals, or just automatically throwing balls your dog drops in the bucket, it might be worth the trouble. Think of it as the equivalent of a video game for a dog. And it's better than a doggie treadmill, which you can't really leave a dog unsupervised on for very long. $120 [Remote Fetch]

Hotdoll:Ugh! Someone actually went and turned the hotdoll dog sex doll concept into an actual product. The doll has a silicon...nevermind. We had one at Gizmodo Gallery and one owner brought one in to see if their dog—that loves humping—would hump it. He did not. I guess just like real people, it takes a flexible sexual orientation to find comfort in inanimate figurines. Price TBD [Hotdoll on Giz]

Indiana Jones and Star Wars Dog Costumes: Remember when Indiana Jones shot that guy with the swords in Temple of Doom? What if, no, listen, wait, what if Harrison Ford was a dog and in that scene and, instead of shooting the assassin, he used teeth! And, like in Star Wars, instead of light sabers, they had swords made of bones. Oh man, hilarious! Earnestly, these costumes are the only items on this list you should legitimately buy for your dogs. Roughly $14 each. [SpoiledRottenDoggies]

Autofetch Motion Pet Ball: It looks like the famous Super Happy Fun Ball* from Saturday Night Live sketches in the 90s, and although not radioactive, the Autofetch ball acts freakishly similar. The motorized dog toy takes a cookie and then spins around, wildly, til batteries go out, or your dog goes insane and crushes the life out of it. Recommended! *Do not taunt! $27 for two. [Autofetch]

Bissell SpotBot Pet: Puppy training is basically like potty training a kid, except your whole apartment is the diaper. Here we have a steam cleaner that sprays cleaning solution to the mess on your carpet, a rotating brush that scrubs while the vacuuming action drinks—sorry, that may have not been the best choice of word—up the dirty water, storing it in a reservoir for disposal later. Basically, it's an automatic poop/vomit/pee cleaner. I'm surprised they don't make one for frat boys. $140 [Bissell]
Catgenie: Look, I know I said this whole list is a bunch of things you shouldn't buy, but this is the one you should especially not buy: CatGenie is basically an automatic literbox that takes 45 minute to cycle out the poop. Until humans engineer smarter pets that can be potty trained, there is no tech that can avoid domestic animal excrement handling. $329 [Catgenie review]

Sleepypod Air: This is a travel bag for little animals. What makes it different from other bags is that it has special deceptive fold-in panels that squash your animal while going through security checkpoints, so no one can tell you your bag is too big. (Don't worry, I don't think it'll kill your cat.) Then, after you board, it expands a few inches but fits under a chair. It also has a slot for slipping through a rolling luggage handle, so the bag can rest on top, and has seatbelt clips for placing it in car seats. $150 [Sleepypod Air]

The Hydroglass: For those who believe fish are pets, even though you can't hug them, I'd find it hard to believe you could do better than this fish tank, which has a seven-head horizontal shower on top. $14,500 [Hydroglass]

Don't forget to recommend your own favorite pet gifts in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.

Crumpler Industry Disgrace neckstrap Fancy cameras, especially German ones, are heavy. Fancy lenses bolted to fancy cameras? It's like lugging around a (fancy) dump truck. Normal camera straps are thin and cut into your neck. Crumpler's Industry Disgrace neckstrap is fat, super padded and breathable. And, they come in patterns. $30-$40. [Link]

Lensbaby optics Crazy lenses for DSLRs, like tilt-shifts and fisheyes, can be ridiculously expensive, way too expensive for a starving artiste who must save their pennies for vintage boots. Enter Lens Baby, which produces cheap, quick and dirty single-effect lenses and adapters for DSLRs. While their quality isn't exactly bulletproof, they do deliver the special effect shots Flickr whores crave. The core lenses do variations on the whole small area of focus, lots of blurriness surrounding it, while the optics system lets you swap out inserts for different effects, like fisheye or pinhole. $95-$300. [Link]

A 50mm prime lens Back in the day, a 50mm prime lens is what photogs cut their teeth on. No zoom, no wide-angle, no image stabilization to fiddle with. Just sharp focus. Meaning it's pure composition on the photographer's part. If you're buying for a DSLR that's not full-frame—basically anything other than Canon 5D Mark II or D700—you're gonna wanna grab a 35mm lens (with the crop factor, it becomes about 50mm, give or take). They get pricier as they get faster, but you can score a cheap 50mm for about a hundred bucks, and a cheap(ish) 35mm for between $200 and $300. $90-$320 [Nikon 50mm, Canon 50mm, Nikon 35mm, Canon 35mm]

Joby GorillaPod A cheap tripod that'll fit in a hipster messenger bag, for long exposure shots. $30-$50 [Link]

Crumpler camera bags Most camera bags aren't very befitting of actually cool photographers. They're boring. Corporate. Ugly. Crumpler's 5 Million Home holds a DSLR, an extra lens and flash and is sunny sky blue. Stepping up a model, the 8 Million Dollar Home has more space for more stuff, if needed. $80-$170. [Link, Link]

Diana F+ CMYK lomo camera Real artsy photographers shoot with cheap lomo film cameras to produce vintage-y lo-fi photos, with crazy saturation, exposures and optical effects, perfect for Vice Magazine. Don't think, just shoot. And the super bright CMYK paint job? You know what it is. $105 [Link]

Leica M9: The ultimate photographer gift. Picking up a Leica camera instantly turns anybody into a Photographer. While holding a Leica, it is impossible not to shoot perfect, artsy photos. Even if you try. The M9 is the latest, most exquisite piece of German photographic craftsmanship yet, with an 18-megapixel, full-frame sensor that delivers the most amazing photos of all time. $7000 and worth every penny. [Link]

Superzoom Cameras: They're not DSLRs, they're not pocketable point-and-shoots, and they're definitely not artsy. They're for tourists, and for the money, you could easily get a way better cheap DSLR or vintage film camera.

All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.

But oh do we still have some ground to cover. I'm envisioning a world of platform-agnostic pizza acquisition apps on every web-connected device everywhere, and it's a world in which I'm pretty sure you'll want to join me in delicious reality.

Granted, we live in a pretty good time right now as far as zero-human-interaction, chainstore-pizzeria-to-mouth-in-shortest-time-possible pizza acquisition systems. You can go to any of the major chains' web sites and have a pie on the way in just a few minutes. Maybe a side of cheese sticks too? And hey, we're running out of Coke. Throw in a two liter. I can't be bothered to go out in this cold/rain/beautiful weather.

They'll even save your credit card number so you don't have to even think about money beyond the five seconds the subtotal is on the screen. And tip's on the card.

I will admit that I was late to embrace the online pizza ordering paradigm. I live in New York City, and I can literally walk to the end of my block and get a delicious hot NYC slice whenever I want it. That is, when the King doesn't feel like shuttering the doors for no clear reason at prime mealtimes. Which he does on a disappointingly frequent basis. But I've been doing it more lately—learned from a couple of friends who have Papa John's online ordering down to a science—and I must say I like.

Fitting with my wish, we also live in a pretty good time as far as being able to customize our devices with third-party applications. Pizza Hut has a Facebook app that can order your pizza. That's a good step, even though it's no different from the main websites, save for the ability to broadcast to all your friends when you place a couch order. But please, further. Take Netflix as an example. Watch Instantly is now on Blu-ray decks from LG and Samsung, the Xbox 360, the aforementioned TiVo and of course the dedicated Roku box, with more partnerships on the way. This is the model we should be following as far as pizza ordering is concerned—the path to the life that I've imagined.

So it is you, major pizza chains, that I address. Embrace our software-is-king future. Open up an API into your respective ordering systems, or better yet, tie them together into one magical mozzarella, tomato and dough delivery web framework. And after that's all set up, encourage the use of this API by manufacturers which will soon, in turn, make everything an application platform in order to respond to this exploding demand for pizza ordered from the couch. Don't just stop at an iPhone app—there's no reason there shouldn't be an App Store for every web-connected device in your home.

They say that where the porn industry goes, tech follows. And it's true. But I say let pizza, glorious pizza, be the trailblazer. Wake me up when this is how things are—I'll be asleep on my couch, surrounded by empty Papa John's garlic sauce cups.

Most importantly, they need to embrace the internet, which includes BitTorrent. There's no sense in fighting it since people are currently using software like TED to automatically search for and download episodes of their favorite shows. It's like BitTorrent TiVo. West Coast users can even use it to download episodes shortly after it's done showing on the East Coast, giving them the ability to watch shows before broadcast and without commercials.

A source close to TiVo we spoke to says that they've looked at BitTorrent, but they need to differentiate between BitTorrent the protocol and BitTorrent in the sense that people are using it now to pirate shows. The current TiVos are designed to record two HD shows simultaneously, which leaves little power to run the fairly CPU-intensive BitTorrent protocol now. If there's a way to use it to help digital distribution in the future, TiVo will consider adding it. Here's how we think they can use the technology.

• Use BitTorrent to download shows legally. Say you somehow missed recording a show because they changed up the schedule from Tuesdays to Mondays (unlikely since TiVo auto-updates the guide, but still possible if your internet connection is down) or you forget to set a recording for a new series or you start watching a series in the middle. Why should you be punished into waiting until the entire season is out on DVD to watch this? If you're tech savvy enough, you've already been hitting the torrents and grabbing the episodes—or even seasons—you missed. Why not have TiVo centrally record a show, then let you torrent it out, complete with commercials, if you happen to miss recording it yourself? The ads keep the studios happy, and the fact that you get to watch a show keeps you happy.

• Enable peer to peer sharing. A company called NDS tried to do this in 2007 before legalities made it impossible. Picture being able to watch shows with your friends across the country at the same time, streamed from users who've already got that recording on their TiVos. Using BitTorrent will drastically reduce bandwidth costs on TiVo, but still give a very fast transfer rate to end users.

• Stream network's web content. ABC and NBC have both started getting into web video in a big way, putting their shows online for viewers to watch the next day on a browser. Extend this to a TiVo box (keeping the ads in so people who need to get paid get paid) and you're set.

• Stream your shows anywhere, including laptops, cellphones and other TiVo boxes. Yes, would essentially be a Slingbox built into a TiVo, allowing you to watch your shows on the go with your cellphones without any additional hardware. But why not have your living room TiVo networked together with the one in your bedroom? If you recorded Lost on one and Heroes on the other, you could stream it to each other without having to waste hard drive space doubly recording it.

• Download movies from every service. This is a tough one, but TiVo should expand their current Amazon Unbox movie service to include iTunes, Netflix and whatever service decides to pop up between now and doomsday. Be service agnostic and everyone will love you. DVDs don't distinguish between movies sold at Best Buy and movies sold at Circuit City.

But TiVo can't survive off of networking features alone; they need to expand the core functionality of the box as well. Here's what we're proposing.

• Auto encoding and syncing to devices. TiVoToGo is fine for grabbing shows off of your TiVo, encoding them and uploading it to your iPod when you've got lots of spare time, but if you're in a hurry, it's not nearly as convenient. A TiVo only needs all its CPU power when recording two HD shows, so they can easily use the excess cycles during idle times to automatically encode shows into a format your iPod or Zune can understand. All you have to do is simply dock your player into a USB port and choose the shows you want to carry with you.

• Messaging and communications. This ties into the peer to peer sharing feature above, but being able to have Xbox Live-like messages exchanged between your friends or even being able to chat with them while you're watching the same show (group chat!) would be phenomenal. Or if you don't want their jibber jabber during the show, just chat it up during commercials. A branded TiVo wireless keyboard and a wireless headset would be optional peripherals, or you can just hook up your own USB keyboard and USB headset.

• Ultimate file playback support. The one thing that's absolutely necessary to make the TiVo the core of the living room entertainment center is support for popular file formats. We're talking h.264, DivX, XviD, OGM, MKV, MOV, FLV, and anything else people encode their videos with. This way even users who don't have cable TV can get a TiVo and use it as a file dump for their BitTorrented shows and movies. Playing these files back easily in HD, without prior conversion, would truly make this the ultimate set top box.

Actually, the external battery pack pictured above probably wouldn't do — I don't need this to a full rating to also charge the laptop — it just needs to be enough to keep it running for a minute. I know there are laptops that have slots for second cells, and extended battery packs, but I don't need anything so drastic or heavy or large. Just keep me up as I switch cells. First manufacturer to make this gets a cookie. PS Hibernate would work, but I'd like to keep network connections and uploads and downloads still going at the same time.

The first assignment for jet packing team Giz would be CES 2008. Picture the scene; the whole squad lands right into the main hall, everyone gasps in amazement, people flock from all over, reporters would leave Steve's keynote to come and see us, Mark would launch us all into the excellent elf dance, we'd blog the bejeezus out of CES and then we'd power up our astro packs and fly right back to Giz HQ. We would probably have a race along the way, which, naturally, we would live blog for your pleasure. It would be awesome. Hey, it would beat my flight into CES—the 12-hour wait at Minneapolis airport I have to sit through is going to be a killer. If anyone is around, come and say hello. If anyone has a jetpack that will fly me from London to Las Vegas, thus negating the 12-hour wait, drop me a line.

I'm not saying I'm anti-progress. We've reached a point in this industry where everything worth a damn is more PC than CE on the inside anyway, and we have to take the growing pains if we want the growth. But suffering a Blu-ray disc error on the PS3 the other day caused me to consider the issue: is it so wrong for us to ask for reliable CE products, ones whose added functionality is not complemented by added hassle? I feel like half of the products I've reviewed this year were cool but had at least one feature that was not ready for primetime. Yet they are sold in Best Buy. Even the beloved TiVo, role model for the New CE, has an occasional propensity for misbehavior.

So, for 2008, I want consumer-electronics product developers to spend more time on quality assurance, and less time shopping for gimmicky third-party software to tack on at the last moment. The temptation is highest in the realms of high-def disc players, "connected" receivers and sound systems, DVRs, game consoles and digital picture frames. Keep 'em clean, guys—we love all the added functionality, but if it doesn't work 100% of the time, for the love of God don't ship it. [All Giz Wants]

Small. Quiet. Discreet. Like a console. The Wii, to be precise, but piano black, so it's invisible like a ninja when you turn it off. In fact, that's pretty much the dig of our entire ultimate PC concept—whereas consoles have been mutating into bigger, beastlier, more PC-like creatures, we want to flip the trend on its head, with a more console-like PC.

Keeping your rig in line with the slew of new processors and graphics card that leave it in the dust on an almost monthly basis—the graphics card market in particular has become completely fucking ridiculous—is a certifiable nightmare. We just wanna play our games on max resolution at 60FPS. End of story. So our ultimate gaming PC would stay fresh for four years, running Crysis successors and resource-hog next-gen operating systems alike with ease. And all that juice would run cool, keeping everything purr quiet, a mythical big cat in a kitty's cute little body.

The only thing big or ostentatious about our gaming PC would be the picture and sound. Ridiculously large monitor (at least 30 inches) with an equally ridiculous resolution and practically immeasurable response time for no ghosting with at least a 10,000:1 contrast ratio, to throw out some sorta real specs. In a nutshell, just a massive, gorgeous display that's also thin and sexy like our women. And we wanna really really feel every piece of shrapnel whizzing by with a booming but crystal clear surround sound system..

Fuck wires. There should be a power cable. That's it.

The OS should be as invisible as the computer itself—no hassles, no crashes, no blue screens, no troubleshooting our games for compatibility issues with drivers, software or anything else. All the games would come directly through the internets with a sorta Steam-like delivery system on warp speed that's also incredibly well organized with every game ever, killing CD piles and installation nail-biting with a single stroke.

This PC's bottom line is no bullshit. A seamless gaming machine inside and out. It does everything but feels like you're not doing anything. It just happens, like magic.

No, I did not just describe for you an iMac, fanboys.

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Think about it: you need an HDMI cable for your home theater equipment that carries audio as well as video, but now there's a new cable on the way called DisplayPort specifically made for computer displays. Or maybe you'd like to hook up your TV to your computer via VGA. Then there's the old-timey composite, component, and S-video connections.

Not digital enough for you? Let's use DVI, or if you want higher resolution, you'll need dual-link DVI. Then there's digital audio, connecting via fiber optic that can't even decide whether it's called Toslink or the eloquent S/PDIF. Or maybe choose a coaxial connector for your digital audio, the same as an RCA plug used to connect analog audio, not that cable TV variety of coaxial.

Want to connect hard drives? You could use USB 2.0, or FireWire 400 is just about as fast. Want FireWire 800? Oops, you'll need a different cable for that. What about the new FireWire 3200? Yep, it'll need new cable, too. Connecting faster SATA hard drives isn't simple, either, because if you want to hook them up internally, you'll need an "L" connector, but if you want to use the external SATA drives (eSATA), well, those use in an "I" connector, to keep you from using unshielded wires inside a PC. The confusion goes on and on.

Oh, and by the way, while you're dealing with this Tower of Babel, you'll have to sidestep all the ripoff artists trying to charge you ten times as much for a cable that does exactly the same thing as its cheapest counterpart.

It's a mess. Please, someone round up all the consumer electronics manufacturers, and somehow make them all use the same connectors. But that's like herding cats. We told you we were going into the world of fantasy, but anyway, that's All Giz Wants.

• A new sofa cover
• A cute, copper-colored snakeskin clutch—that's a handbag, not something found on a car—by Luella
• A pile of new books (or just an Amazon gift certificate, actually)
• Some fabulously sexy piece of art to hang on the wall

Well, I typed, at a push I'd like an iPod classic, because my old 60GB, video-free version is a bit rickety, but it does still work, so I think I'll wait until the sad, dead-iPod face appears on the screen. And my other half, Jesus, has been tempting me with the iPhone (like any of you are surprised). He is right; I do need a new phone as my horrible Motorola currently has a battery life of around 10 minutes and I HATE IT, I REALLY HATE IT, but since the iPhone hasn't got 3G, I thought I'd wait until Mk 2 comes out. But apart from that? Nope, nothing.

My gadgets are as follows: one sickly iPod; one MacBook; one shitty original Motorola RAZR that I will feed to the gadget-eating unicorns once I can be bothered to get a new phone. We've also got a TomTom for the car, but I lost the charger for it, so that's that, and, truth be told, we don't need it because I'm pretty damn good at map-reading.

Gadgets are my job. I write about this stuff from morning to night, so when it comes to going-home time, I'm pretty happy to close my laptop and start on a book. And no, before you suggest a Kindle, I love books. I like them stacked up dustily in my house, I like making them dog-eared and sticky-paged and taking them places. And another confession: I am the clumsiest git in the world, so an iPhone/Kindle/Thanko USB Trouserpress will probably suffer a bathwater-electronics interface in the first week.

Just because I don't want a gadget for Christmas doesn't necessarily mean that I begrudge everyone else their bundles of bytes and pixels. My husband is of course crazy about stuff like this, hence the iPhone, the brand new iMac that we don't really have room for, the Nintendo DS—all three of them, actually—and the remote-controlled Mario Kart that drives the mutt nuts when we play with it. Both my father-in-law and my brother have gone crazy over the iPhone, my bro changing his service provider in order to get his hands on one, the f-i-l sending someone over to NY to pick one up for him to use in Spain.

Nevertheless, Blam's question bugged me for several days, until I remembered one stand-out Christmas present from my childhood, when I was eight or so.

My parents weren't quite altruistic enough to buy me a drum kit I'd asked for, but they did buy me a cheapo cassette player. Not some fabulous ghetto blaster that I could strut around the bad-ass farm track at home with, like Radio Rakeem, but a tiny little mono version, and three tapes: The Jungle Book; and The Young Person's Guide(s) to Mozart and Beethoven which, when I think about it, must have honed my obsession with '70s disco, funk, Chicago House and the Sugarhill Gang.

Crap tapes aside, I hearted my tape player. I hearted it with everything I had. I took it to school to show off in the playground, duly getting it confiscated for a week—no more Baloo for you, you wicked girl—and it remained the closest thing to heaven. I can't even remember what brand it was, probably something uber-shonk, like Alba, or Crown. But I loved it. I customized it with my sister's carmine nail polish, stuck cute Japanese stickers on it, and graffiti'd the sides in gold pen that made me high when I got too close to the nib. Until one fateful day three years later, when I snapped off the red record button while singing à la Siouxie Sioux into the mic.

So, I'm sorry, dear Gizmodo readers, who imagine their perky AM gadget reporter to be as plugged in as the Borg Queen herself. The truth is, a quarter-century on, I can't think of anything made of metal, plastic and silicon which lights up, bleeps, or goes "Pew Pew," which will bring me anywhere near to the joy of Christmas back then, and that dear, beautiful ultra-cheap cassette deck.

Happy Holidays!

This is what I imagine: an IR/various 2.4Ghz technology remote with a touchscreen interface to control the more basic functions of any electronic device I own. Here's what it would have:

• A touchscreen interface would work perfectly here. On/Off should always be in the same spots right on top with some sort of standard button layout a la Harmony, or layouts could graphically mimic the devices I want to control for a more intuitive system with less reading. Want to turn on the shower? Then just twist the on-screen knob. Turning off the lights? Just flick the switch.
• Proximity sensing could automatically pick up local "favorite" items for me to control. That way I'm not searching through menus all the time.
• Trigger activated voice recognition is a must for the most simple commands. Just like I'm calling in for an air strike, I could walkie-talkie "teapot on!"
• Obviously consumer electronics manufacturers would need to decide on some standards. But they can have a choice: IR, 802.11n and Bluetooth will all be in my little remote. Actually, no. Screw IR. We're officially in the future and I never want to worry about line of site again...we'll keep it for backward compatibility.
• Two button syncing. You activate the device while you activate the remote. Done.
• Fingerprint recognition activation keeps it more secure than you bank account.
• Oh, and maybe my cellphone should be in this thing, too. That way I can lose both the remote and my mobile at the same time. And besides, it's already got my touchscreen, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and super-kinetic-recharging battery (sorry, forgot to mention that).

Monster Cable's attempt to control your home theater's lighting system wasn't bad, but we need to multiply that idea by about 1,000. We shouldn't need fancy, expensive home automation to make this work. Most of us already have our own Wi-Fi networks, and face it, wall controls are so 1980s. If someone could invent this by Christmas and leave it on my doorstep, that'd be just great.