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New York, 9:50 PM
Mon Nov 30
52 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #angelskneepillow more →

    Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Curves Curves
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    One might make the assumption that this device is needed by a guy who hasnt the "length" to make it to the toilet alone. Conversely, that means that someone is going to immediately invent toilet steps, which will sell solely on the marketing ploy that the steps are for the man with so MUCH length, that he needs to be higher in order to make it to the bowl.
     Reply
    Curves was starred Curves was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    Isn't this kind of low tech for a Japanese invention? I expected some sort of robotic toilet funnel that rises up to meet your, uhm meat.
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    I bet this won't have any improvement on the actual aiming of the stream...
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Bandit Bandit
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    "but even grosser if you're so short that your goods actually touch the rim of the bowl."


    Um, what if the afcorementioned goods touch the rim not because of your height but because of their length?

     Reply
    Bandit was starred Bandit was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @Bandit: You have a medical condition in need of immediate attention. Please send me your phone number so we may discuss.


    Oh, yeah, I'm a...um...doctor. That's it, a doctor.

     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of Barry99705 Barry99705
    05/11/09

    @Bandit: Dude, this isn't a dream, this is real life. :)
     Reply
    Barry99705 was starred Barry99705 was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Barry99705: it's boss' dream. let them be.
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    How about a swinging arm to put in stalls in the ladies' room at dive-bars? You know... to hold their hair when they're puking.


    Or maybe fold-down mirrors in the stalls at Cipriani on 42nd to snort coke off of.

     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: Sort of like the hand coat racks in Willy Wonka's factory?
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of frigg frigg
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: You know, I've actually seen those fold-down mirrors in the bathroom of a recording studio! They exist!
     Reply
    frigg was starred frigg was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: Yeah. But with slutty drunk women who can't hold their beer and women getting boned in the bathroom.


    Other than that, it's just like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: original or johnny depp version?
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @drowning in denon_Nick: Neither the book nor either of the movie adaptations had a scene with a sorority girl with alcohol poisoning.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of wherethehellwasi wherethehellwasi
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    Not bad, but the idea could be improved.


    Personally, I pee while dangling from a harness and pulley system suspended a few inches directly over the bowl. I call it Mission: Impeeable.

     Reply
    wherethehellwasi was starred wherethehellwasi was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    @wherethehellwasi: I just unzip my pants, relax, and let gravity do the rest. I just let the universe take care of where the urine should go. And when my wife sees the disgusting mess and asks what the hell happened in there, I respond, Destiny. Destiny happened. And you can't fight destiny.
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @wherethehellwasi: A harness and pulley system? Starring Tom Cruising?
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of frigg frigg
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    The split mode one looks like it's designed to look like little toilets. They should make some extra tiny ones that go next to them, like those Russian dolls that come in a series that gets smaller and smaller. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?!


    uhhhh... but logistically speaking, isn't there a high chance that if you kneel on these you're kneeling on someone's backsplash? I mean, what's the chance of kneeling on one of these and not feeling the lingering stickiness of residual fluids (not to mention knee dander)?

     Reply
    frigg was starred frigg was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    @frigg: I never thought of it like that. It gives you some incentive to strengthen your thigh muscles or to fall on the bathroom floor or head first into the toilet and taste true fear... of course technically that's not fear they're tasting.
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    I hope that those things have some sort of traction under them... That would suck if you dropped your pants, knelt down on them and then they slipped out from under you (or slid apart).
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of frigg frigg
    05/11/09

    @Rabid Penguin: On the other hand, mobility could be a useful feature, perhaps a version with little wheels on them that could turn it into some kind of exercise-while-you-pee device that all but writes its own informercial.


    Alternatively, if slippage does become a problem, you could suture these onto the user's knees so they're always available and solidly attached.

     Reply
    frigg was starred frigg was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @frigg: If the wheeled versions were battery-powered, they could call it a SegWhiz
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    How about a urination chamber? It's a partitioned off section of the bathroom with a drain, and a nozzle that sprays you with water. You simply strip naked and relieve yourself at your leisure and you come out smelling cleaner than ever, and you simply dry off, put your clothes back on and get back to work. Why doesn't this exist yet?
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of Gann Gann
    05/11/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: That would go perfectly next to my shower.
     Reply
    Gann was starred Gann was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: Your softball will be hit by me: It does exist, it is called a shower. Good for two or more people, the shower will supply you with the water needed to rejuvenate an otherwise dirty existence. Used with supplementary products such as shampoo, conditioner, and k-y ERRRRR body wash (thanks Rome), the shower can be an exhilirating experience for anyone in need of a thorough cleansing.
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: Hmmm, tell me more about this "shower" you speak of? Does it have a place to take a nap while you bathe?
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: You all are a bunch of uncivilized boors. We do not piss in the shower and we do not shit in the tub.


    I weep for the future of manners.

     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: Of course we don't. That's disgusting. Crapping in the tub is not a group activity.
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: Ha, I pee on the future of manners.
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @Rabid Penguin: That was the royal we, you buffoon.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: Would you like a white russian with that sentence? Or perhaps another condescending word that starts with a b and has two o's in the middle, you boob.
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: It is doltish jibes up with which I will not put! I bid thee and thine a very terse good day!
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: I <3 U
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: I said "good day!"
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    @OMG! Ponies!: My apologies. I did not realize you fancied yourself as a Queen.
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Kaiser-Machead: reminds me of the part from jimmy neutron when the parents disappear.


    i'm peein in the shower
    *couple scenes later
    i'm still peein in the shower

     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: if you're moises alou you pee on your hands
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    Couldn't you just sit on the toilet if you were worried about splashing? I thought they were designed to be sat on? Or should I be standing while taking a crap?
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Rabid Penguin: no sir. lying down.
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of Rabid Penguin Rabid Penguin
    05/11/09

    @drowning in denon_Nick: I've installed a horse trough-style urinal in my bathroom just so I can. You lie face-up to take a crap, and when you have to pee, just roll over.
     Reply
    Rabid Penguin was starred Rabid Penguin was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @Rabid Penguin: Why roll over? Doesn't your trough have those spray nozzles? Just hit the flush button.
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    They can make this a game with the Wii and call it the Wee. That way you can play Wee on your Wii while you Wee.


    WEEEEEEEE!

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of Gann Gann
    05/11/09

    @Dr.Danger is a pottymouth: A Wii accessory for urination simulations ?
     Reply
    Gann was starred Gann was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    i have never heard of kneeling. ever. besides the fact that i'm like a super soaker 10000 and will splash at any height.
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @drowning in denon_Nick: You must be one of those guys who sounds like they are peeing a stream of lead every time they are at a urinal. Makes me laugh kinda
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of Nick Nick
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: i do. it's why i stay away from urinals.
     Reply
    Nick was starred Nick was unstarred
    Image of badhatharry badhatharry
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    Not trying to be racist, but is there a run on tall Asians I wasn't aware of?
     Reply
    badhatharry was starred badhatharry was unstarred
    Image of Hello Mister Walrus Hello Mister Walrus
    05/11/09

    In reply to Japanese Toilet Kneeler Puts You Closer To the Action
    Ok, I'm going to just say it. That thing looks like it's designed for blowjobs. Are you happy now??
     Reply
    Hello Mister Walrus was starred Hello Mister Walrus was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @Hello Mister Walrus: Yes! (Even though you ripped the joke right out of my throat.)
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of Stikman008 Stikman008
    05/11/09

    @Hello Mister Walrus: No it is not, it is designed for tea bagging and/or pearly swirlies (which I will define as nut flushing). Wow, if any comment of mine was to be disemvoweled, maybe it is this one
     Reply
    Stikman008 was starred Stikman008 was unstarred
    Image of bosskev bosskev
    05/11/09

    @Stikman008: Get you disemvoweled? Around these parts, brash indecency gains you Followers.
     Reply
    bosskev was starred bosskev was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    05/11/09

    @Hello Mister Walrus: You must be really tall..
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
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