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Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
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Finger Drums Noisemaker

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Kaiser-Machead
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
Yes, thanks, however, my RSQ doesn't take well to any of your primitive road protrusions. WTF, haven't you people implemented a network-wide auto-throttle that creates virtual speedbumps? pshaw.
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Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred

Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
And this needs to have the added option of deploying spikes if it detects you driving insanely too fast...
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infmom
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
Out here, speed bumps usually are not continuous across the entire street. There's a "valley" in each side so that emergency vehicles can whiz through. Regular drivers presumably (!!!) will not straddle the centerline to do the same.

If you ride a motorscooter or a motorcyle, you can zip right on through the valley in your lane. I like my Vespa more every day.
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OCEntertainment
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
Bicyclists are on their own.
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qbrad
12/11/08

@OCEntertainment: When confronte with a speedbump on my bicycle, I just go to that thin area near the curb. No slowing down for me. I'm also not hitting the bump at anything over 20 mph.
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damnelantra™
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
i love my suspension. not from hyundai, but its great to hop over speed bumps at 20 and speed humps at 40.

then watch cars behind you try to attempt the same thing :)
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GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
What does it do if you drive REALLY fast?
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Jo Schmo
12/11/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★: I think this would be what launch control was invented for
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scarbrtj
12/11/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★:
Has to be:
[uk]

+ Watch video

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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
12/11/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★: I will help with your airborne escape velocity when you're being chased by Roscoe P. Coltrane...
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GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/11/08

@Jrsy is the dude, playing the dude disguised as another dude: Must remember to tip all my arrows w/dynamite and/or torches when I get home.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
12/11/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★: YeeHAW!!
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nutbastard
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
@ Sean Fallon

what kinda car do you drive?
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/11/08

@nutbastard: Don't blame me i voted for Ron Paul edition: His damn tesla doesn't clear speadbumps well.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/11/08

@Lite: Actually, I had to crawl over speed bumps at a 45 degree angle (1 wheel at a time.) to keep from scraping the frame when driving the Ferrari.
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freelunch
12/11/08

@Lite: I never understood the whole 'off angle' thing for speed bumps... it doesn't increase your clearance any.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/11/08

@freelunch: It keeps the suspension from unloading and dropping the frame down. Only one wheel's suspension compresses instead of two.
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dontTouch
12/11/08

@Lite: Your stupid.
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Nickrick2641
12/11/08

@dontTouch:

umm no he's right, and just cause he drives a Ferrari doesn't mean he's stupid either.. for all you know he may have worked his butt off to earn it.

hate it when people do this..
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Kaiser-Machead
12/11/08

@dontTouch: Your in need of a banhammer.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/11/08

@Nickrick2641: Actually, wasn't my Ferrari...It belonged to a company that is well loathed here, so I didn't want to mention what CEO normally drove the thing.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/11/08

@dontTouch: Oooh, random pointless personal attack from far left field! Thank you and good day sir.
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Hello Mister Walrus
12/11/08

In reply to Smart Speed Bump Flattens When You're Driving Slow
1) Fill speed bump-shaped sac with non-Newtonian fluid.

2) Instant reactive speed bump!
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okenny :) ...building bridges (to hide under)
12/11/08

@booo: You're doing it all wrong!!!

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Eltigro
12/12/08

@booo: You'd have to make sure that the properties of the fluid are consistent over a wide temperature range. Is it the same when it is below freezing outside as it is when it is noon on the hottest day of the Summer?

Also, I would be worried about the speed bumps getting a leak. What kind of Kevlar bag are they put in to prevent holes?

Just saying that the non-Newtonian fluid thing is good in theory, but there might be some issues making it a reality.
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Rabid Penguin
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
I don't need some fancy device to annoy people. I'm like the MacGyver of annoying people. I can craft something annoying out of nothing more than a straw and a wad of paper, or a rubber band and a paper clip.
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GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
I just got one of the ver 1.0's free from Think Geek w/a 25 dollar purchase. I can't wait to place it somewhere in my office tonight when everyone leaves and watch the mayhem ensue tomorrow when I have the day off for the Gallery Show.
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something_unique_and_descriptive
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
My dad built something similar with a light sensor, you put it in a drawer and as long as the drawer is closed it does its annoying thing (a chirp at a random interval), if you open the drawer it shuts off, making it a real pain in the ass to find.

I hate that thing.
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stlblufan
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
I think that the title should be "lets you TOO" (or "lets you TWO" if you are talking to the two assholes that would do this). Or maybe you meant "allows you to". Or maybe Sarah Palin wrote this headline.
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OMG! Ponies!
12/04/08

@stlblufan: That would be clever if it was (a) more timely and (b) more accurate.

Gov. Palin is a lot of things - an attention rhymes-with-bore; a religious wackjob; a also-ran who is oblivious to the fact that she is being set up as a patsy. However, her ability to spell was never really a source of embarrassment.

I think you have her confused with fmr. Vice President Danforth Quayle.
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Anonymoose
12/04/08

@OMG! Ponies!: "a* also ran"
*an, please.

@stlblufan: no prob, man. i just thought it was funny because your correction would have been incorrect. really, they should just take "to" out. changing it to "too" would still be wrong, grammatically and morally.

i take my government grammar job seriously.
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Anonymoose was starred Anonymoose was unstarred

OMG! Ponies!
12/04/08

@Anonymoose: If Preident-Elect Obama can refer to Sen. Hillary Clinton as "a outstanding Secretary of State", I can call Gov. Sarah Palin a also-ran.

I intransigently stand by my choice of indefinite article.
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OMG! Ponies!
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
Ahh - office jackassery.

I remember pranking a co-worker one time by swiping his cellphone and setting the ringer to "Cat". I then hid the phone in an accordion folder on the top shelf of the racks in his office. We took turns calling him throughout the day.

Then, there's the cheap but effective method of using Ctrl-Alt-Down Arrow to turn the screen upside down. And you can always have fun by putting messages in people's email signature. My buddy whom I nicknamed "Fat Balls" agreed.

Sometimes, though, the simplest methods are best. I was annoyed for the past two days by a fly buzzing around the fluorescent bulbs in my overhead lights. Free and easy. If you can get a fly.
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GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/04/08

@OMG! Ponies!: You can always visit my farm. A lady once said to me "You attract more flies with honey than you do vinegar". If I had not already been on double secret probation, I would have said to her, "Miss, I know for a fact you attract more flies with horse shit than you do with honey".
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JC Whitless
12/04/08

@OMG! Ponies!:

Then, there's the cheap but effective method of using Ctrl-Alt-Down Arrow to turn the screen upside down.

One better.

Take a screen cap, hide the icons and the task bar, flip the screen cap upside down, then Cntrl-Alt-Down the monitor.

For real fun, move the task bar and the like to the side or top, so it just appears dead.

Also, flip flopping the left and right mouse button is also evil. As is setting the XP wake up music to "Never Gonna Give You Up".

Hrmmmm. I just realized I'm the office bastard.
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Dis[Con]cordian
12/04/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★: OMG! Double-secret probation? Did you go to a small New England prep school by any chance? All my 'friends' were on it at one time or another...
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OMG! Ponies!
12/04/08

@Dis[Con]cordian: Son - fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
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Anonymoose
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
is this more effective than my usual method of playing my ace of base cassette full blast whilst stabbing coworkers randomly with plastic cutlery according to i saw the sign's hypnotic beats and glorious melodies?
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GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/04/08

@Anonymoose: How can anyone think "The Sign" or "Another Baby" is annoying? Now if I sang them, THAT would be annoying, and a case of using someones weapon own weapon on them.
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nutbastard
12/04/08

@Anonymoose:

i just got that song out of my head like a week ago. thanks, asshole.

; )
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EVEs_Mako
12/04/08

In reply to Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun
I have 3 ex-wives and you just made my day.
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Curves
12/04/08

@EVEs_Mako: Hahaha. Off topic but along your theme. I knew a guy, who during a nasty break up, installed one of those battery operated remote doorbells in box spring of Mrs. Xs bed, carefully making sure it couldnt be seen. When she brought guys home, he would sit out in this car a few hundred feet away and ring it. She coudlnt find it and it took weeks for the battery to die. No, I am not advocating this, but it is funny as hell.
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TBM-Fan
12/04/08

@Curves: Curves are you perhaps talking about your ex?

well cause the way you said it sounds like it happened to you

and no i wasn't implyiny anything just wondering
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Curves
12/04/08

@TBM-Fan: No, it was the brother of a dear friend of mine that I got to hear all the dirty details of the divorce over drinks. I, personally, feel living well is the best revenge. That and good hair.
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Curves was starred Curves was unstarred

GitEmSteveDave_ForgotNametag
12/04/08

@Curves: How about losing 80 lbs while she gained 40-50?
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