The recording of death threats and other evidence, prove that APPLE INC. conspired with the Mafia and other Defendants to manufacture, distribute, and sell illegally bugged iPods and other electronic equipment to Plaintiff [Gregory McKenna] to perpetuate the stalking, extortion, and torture.

All these are facts that don't surprise me at all. But McKenna added even more grave accusations to the lawsuit, accusing Apple of inserting the word "herpes" into Mike Jones' Still Tippin':

Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues, HERPES. Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues. Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues, AHH

Here I get a bit skeptical. I've reviewed the uncut video (NSFW) of this song again and again and again and again, but I've yet for find the word herpes anywhere. I mean, I kind of see where he is going with the accusation, but having gone through a full battery of tests just last week, I want to believe that all these ladies are all STD-free too, thank you very much:

But wait, there' more, McKenna's lawsuit also says that Apple and the Mafia threatened to kill him if he didn't become a fashion model in New York City:

We're going to kill you if you don't model for us in New York. Media sources report that the modeling industry has an infamous "shadow Mafia" that forces models to work for pay after fraudulently putting them into excessive debt, coerces them into the illegal sex trade, and then disposes of them.

This is, by far, the best nutty lawsuit in the history of nutty lawsuits. And they say lawyers can't do creative writing. [Apple Insider]

Plaintiff's claims, and those of the purported class, are barred by the fact that the alleged deceptive statements were such that no reasonable person in Plaintiff's position could have reasonably relied on or misunderstood Apple's statements as claims of fact.

"Ignoring fundamental principles of antitrust law, and the realities of the marketplace, Psystar contends that Apple has unlawfully monopolized an alleged market that consists of only one product, the Macintosh® computer."

It's doubtful that Psystar has the grounds to win or even the money to fight this case, but the stated principle here is kind of weird. The whole line of Macintosh computers is one product? Hardware that could run Mac OS comprises an "alleged market?" It's hard to quite make sense of what they mean other than "PLEASE DIE." We'll see what happens in court on November 3rd, when Apple passes that sentiment on to Psystar's face(s). [The Register, with full filing at ZDNet]

In his 18-page filing, Gillis points out the 3G tower power issue that recently leaked to the public in which an AT&T worker disclosed that current sub-par connections are caused by iPhones sucking too much power for AT&T transmitters to maintain proper 3G signals. Given this knowledge, Gillis feels the iPhone was clearly sold past network capacity creating problems that cascaded to every AT&T 3G users.

The suit seeks class action status so that every California AT&T subscriber could receive compensation if they've experienced poor 3G performance. And in light of such 3G failures, Gillis points out that Apple's packaging should have a disclaimer to manage consumer's expectations. [AppleInsider]