<![CDATA[Gizmodo: ass]]> http://tags.gizmodo.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gizmodo.com.png <![CDATA[Gizmodo: ass]]> http://gizmodo.com/tag/ass http://gizmodo.com/tag/ass <![CDATA[I Like The Asspeaker Concept And I Cannot Lie]]> Someone's fetish definitely comes through with this speaker concept design. You turn the system on by giving the cheeks a gentle tap while the volume is controlled with tender caresses. If it were squeezable, I'd call the Asspeaker perfect.

Despite the Altec Lansing logo the concept's designer decided to use on the graphics, this isn't actually something made by the company. So, can someone to just go ahead and make design into reality already? Because I definitely don't fondle my current speakers enough. [Yanko Design]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5390958&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[How to Make a Palm Pre Look Like a Palm Full of Ass]]> We don't mean a palm full of ass in a good way—when were you not happy when you had a palm full of ass—but a palm full of something really disgusting. Yeah, this thing right here.

No offense to the guy at preThinking, but there's a reason why Palm didn't make the back of their phone look like a ad or something you'd see at a NASCAR event. Leave Britney alone, as it were. [Prethinking]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5303105&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Criminal Voyeur Hides Cellphone Up Butt To Escape From Cops]]> BoingBoing found this story of a cellphone camera voyeur trying to snap pics of a naked gal at a tanning salon before someone called the cops on him. This wouldn't be interesting at all except for the fact that when the cops came, the guy kept denying that he did anything until the cops searched him twice and found a cellphone jammed up his rectum. Did the cops confiscate his phone? Did they force him to delete those pics? How many megapixels was the cameraphone? The Smoking Gun coming up short on this one. [Smoking Gun via Boing Boing]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5019357&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Air Conditioned Seat Cushion Features The Latest In Eco-Friendly Ass-Cooling Technology]]> Kuchofuku, the same company that brought us air conditioned shirts, has re-applied their groundbreaking technology in an effort to deliver us from one of the biggest problems facing mankind today. Of course, I am speaking about ass sweat. In fact, their air conditioned seat cushion line can pump up to 170 liters of air per minute through the seat using an extraordinarily low amount of electricity in the process.

Apparently, the energy consumption of the device is so low that you could run it every day for eight hours and only pay the equivalent of around five cents extra on your electricity bill for the month. However, this isn't the first time we have come across an air conditioner of this type—Thanko came out with a version last year that is powered via USB. It also appears to be a little cheaper than the Kuchofuku model, but we are not sure how well it stacks up in terms of butt cooling performance and power consumption. [Product Page via Fareastgizmos]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=393793&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Doggy Style Pencil Sharpener Takes One for the Team]]> We are not sure how we missed this exquisite work of art when our beloved sisters at Jezebel displayed it not long ago, but we're just wondering where on earth such a pencil sharpener might've come from. Is this what it's come to? Certainly this is not how we treat our women here at the Giz. This kind of reminds us of that obnoxious method of extinguishing cigarettes we discovered last month. Who cares what orifice that pencil's going into? We like our women with heads, thank you very much. Even so, after a search far and wide, our question still remains: Where we can get one of these? [Live Journal]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=336143&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Cigarette Extinguisher Design Reaches New Low of Moral Turpitude (NSFW)]]> Just when we thought we'd seen the most horrible and immoral cigarette extinguisher in the world, one of our best and brightest commenters points out yet another example, built in a similar vein but reaching even lower depths of depravity. Honestly, a butthole ashtray (or is it an asstray)? At least it could have been designed to accommodate a cigarette in an orifice meant for ingoing objects. Someone's got to put a stop to this immediately. Let's just be thankful there isn't orangeish-brown liquid spewing out of this butt-for-your-butts. The gallery on the next page shows all, but explains nothing (NSFW). [Nodaya]


]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=312949&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA['Call Me' Panty Holds That Vibrating Cellphone Close to Her Hot Spot (NSFW)]]> Ladies, what on earth are you going to do with that cellphone when all you're wearing is a dainty pair of unmentionables? How will you carry it around and still have both hands free? Here's the solution: the Call Me panty, a dual-purpose garment that adds new meaning to the phrase "eagerly awaiting your call." Just set that handset on vibrate, slip it into the Call Me panty's perfect-sized front pouch, and even telemarketer interruptions will be welcome. Let's take a look at a couple of NSFW videos of these kangaroo-like panties in action, and you get bonus points if you can identify the accent of the sultry camel-toed temptress cooing throughout the steamy demo (NSFW).



Kangaroo-like? I got yer joey, right here. [Techie Diva]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=311806&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Inmate Sticks iPhone Up Butt (Ends Badly)]]> WARNING NOT FOR SQUEAMISH
I love Gizmodo, but when Mark said, 'Do the rectum,' I thought it was asking a little too much. Thank the heavens above he was referring to this story.

It is common knowledge that prison would be a bitchin' hang out if: 1). There were no criminals about and 2). There were no rectal violations going on. Unfortunately, most prisons are founded on the above two tenets and Big Sandy penitentiary, in Kentucky, is no different. Thus, when an unidentified inmate's partner paid him a visit with an iPhone, our man was overwhelmed. He was so excited he probably did a sissy punch the air gesture and the like. However, after realising the law enforcement would confiscate his new toy, he did what any man would do: He shoved it up his ass.

Though it may have seemed to be a good idea at the time, when he came to retrieve the device he encountered some difficulty. It was stuck and he was royally screwed. Obviously, he lacked an IQ above 10, because instead of swallowing his pride and gaining some medical help he hoped, in vain and excruciating pain, that he would shit the device out. Man, did he wait—for three whole, colon-congested days.

The wall of his rectum became ripped and infected; finally he was forced to seek medical attention after he could no longer hide his discomfort. Upon operating, the flabbergasted doctors found, to their amazement, an iPhone—they tried hard to save the phone, but they were only doctors after all. They did an excellent job on the patient however, who is said to be recovering and is all set for more anal adventures when he returns to normal imprisoned life. We are guessing he is going to need some explanation to hand, drop any suggestions below. All aside, we hope you have all learnt a valuable lesson: Do not put an iPhone up your bum, you will probably have activation problems and reception will be poor. Not to mention the whole infection/pain thing.

UPDATE: This story is not confirmed with the original source. Someone's bum may or may not be in critical condition due to the JesusPhone.

[Fun Tech Talk]


]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=286035&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[USB Ass Cooler 2007 Edition]]> Thanko's usually known for their heating gadgets, but cooling's just heating in reverse. In the case of this USB ass cooler 2007 edition, Thanko's improved on the 2006 edition by making it black and, uh, we're not sure what else.

Still no clue whether they solved that fart potential blowing up into your face problem though.

Product Page [Thanko via Everything USB]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=268258&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[USB Ass Cooler For Your Chair]]> As if the USB air conditioned shirt wasn't enough, sweaty Japanese peripheral makers felt the need to cool off their sweaty backsides as well. The USB butt cooler goes onto your chair, over the cushion, and flows "cool" air onto your arse via the onboard fan. There's an on/off switch on the cable, which plus into your USB port.

The only downside I can see is if you let one go, the air cooler will blow it up right into your face. Blech.

Product Page [Plusd.itmedia.co.jp via Everything USB]

]]>
http://gizmodo.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=195269&view=rss&microfeed=true