The tale behind the auction is that somehow, out of the 100,000 condoms distributed during the Olympics, one guy managed to get 5,000. I guess at some point it sunk in that if he hasn't used a single one by now, he never will. But hey, his loss could be your pile of probably expired condoms. Let's call it the non-gadget deal of the day. [Sports Rubbish]

Now, whether that "something" lasts for the long run—especially with a definitive lack of apps–is another thing, but for now Zune HD lovers can head on over to eBay for what amounts to a ludicrous price for a super rare, unreleased color and get their bid in before the auction ends in about two days.

The eBay user conveniently lives in Washington, and said they procured this rare kit from a friend. Now they're selling it for cash and are set to make a small fortune off this Zune HD with a nifty little paint job.

Now, will this model eventually be released en masse to the public at the usual Zune HD price? Sure, it probably will. But, if this wacky series of tubes has taught me anything, it's that there are plenty of people who'd love to win this auction and yell "FIRST!" to the rest of us.

Update: Yeah, this thing is getting all sorts of lame and suspicious. Crazy bidding, sketchy seller—everyone with half a brain proceed with caution. Maybe just watch the insanity take place from afar. [eBay via Anything But iPod via Engadget]

For $2000-$3000 you can take home this robot head from the climatic scene from Moonwalker. It still animates and lights up at the push of a button. I have to admit, that is pretty damn cool.

MJ's Brevetti Gaggia espresso and cappuccino machine features "polished chrome with bands of repousse and reticulated brass. Tank bears a Neverland plaque, is flanked by decorative Turkish tea vessels and is crested by an eagle finial." The king of Pop's coffemaker will set you back $1000-$2000.

A coin-operated Grandmother Predictions fortune teller runs $1500-$2000.
Edward Scissorhands prop gloves are running for $4000-$6000. Michael Jackson identified with a movie about a misunderstood freak? Do tell.

This Sega flight simulator features a safety barrier and attendant station. Price: $4000-$6000.

Michael's golf cart features Peter Pan cushions and an image of himself as Pan on the hood. Oh yes, yes it does...$4000-$6000.

For more weirdness, check out the full gallery at the Guardian. [Guardianvia RGS]

Other props sold at the auction include the head of C-3PO for $120,000 and Marlon Brando's costume from Superman for $72,000. But at least you can wear Brando's costume and smell his sweaty residue. What can you do with a lightsaber other than look at it and think of all the stuff you could have bought with $240,000 if you had only done your research? [Breitbart]

Essentially, you put your guitar down underneath it with a block of wood next to it that will turn into your new guitar. The duplicator then traces the contours of your guitar, using those measurements to carve up the block of wood so it's exactly like what you currently have.

Of course, you can use this to duplicate any number of things other than guitars as long as they fit and are made of wood. Wooden pants! Wooden sandwiches! Small pieces of wood! Let your imagination run wild! It's currently at $1,185 with no bids. [eBay via Music Thing]

This particular auction contains every single grey cartridge released for the NES as well as a couple that were sent to critics but never released (California Raisins & Final Fantasy 2). You don't get the insanely rare gold cartridges that go for ludicrous amounts on eBay every so often, but who cares? You get every NES game! You also get a mint NES to play all these games on.

Sure, at some point you'll realize that this is a huge waste of money and space with all of these games available via emulation, but then you'll just have to toss it back on eBay to make your money back. It's the circle of life. The buy it now price is $3,800 and shipping is free. What're you waiting for? [eBay via Geekologie]

There aren't a lot of bargains, as you might expect. Top-shelf merchandise like this is expected to fetch big collector prices. But the catalog is almost too good to be true—check out 34 highlights in the gallery below, and a few extra special favorites here:

Forget any exercise you could possible think of—it won't come close to the strength of using Bruce Lee's own actual forearm strengthener. Possibly some Dragon sweat still on it.

No, It doesn't hover but I couldn't give less of a damn. If I can't have the shoes, I want this. Too bad it's expected to fetch $30-$50k.

I love scotch. But I'm pretty certain I would love it even more if I was drinking it out of this ultra-dystopian Blade Runner tumbler. Plus this one's one of the few sub-$1,000 items.

Just one of the countless things the originals have on Lucas's new films, the costumes in the original Star Wars were incredible. Especially the Imperial dudes—stylish in only the way a space fascist can be.

More highlights from this incredible trove, including C3PO's feet, Ahnold's sawed-off from T2, the rabbit mask from Donnie Darko and more:

[Profiles in History Auction House via Tech Digest]

If you're a mad breakout fan, however, one of the two could be yours, as it's up for auction right now. The bids are up to $385 as of this writing with about a day left, which ain't half bad for such a rare nugget of Atari history. Of course, it being a non-working prototype might have something to do with that, but just look at it! It's awesome! [eBay via Kotaku]

Jokermobile 4EVER!!!! [jalopnik and bornrich]

"The Office" Signed iPod Nano [Via iLounge]

Congrats to the lucky winner! I'm sure you can't wait to get that sucker set up so you can do… whatever it is you plan to do with it. Perhaps it's for your private dorkatorium, where you'll keep it in a hermetically sealed case next to the original latex scalp piece worn by Worf and a framed photo of you with Stan Lee. Power to you, brother. –Adam Frucci

eBay [via Digg]