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Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Beanzawave USB-Powered Beans Microwave is What USB Was Created For
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Peter Mrozik
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Geeez, this has been posted for over 45 minutes and not a single reference to ponies or crysis. Probably left early for the weekend...
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@Peter Mrozik: You called?
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nutbastard
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
im pretty amazed - the top end for USB power is 500ma @5v - a scant 2.5 watts.

by comparison, the average microwave oven runs at around 1300 watts.

This might be the first microwave to feature a 6-digit timer display. And i dont mean H/M/S, oh no, it'll display the D/M/Y when your food will be ready.
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Nick
07/02/09

@nutbastard: i have always been a fan of slow cooking. more savory.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
07/02/09

@nutbastard: Maybe it only charges via USB?
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
I think we're all thinking a little too provincially about this.

Yes, it can be used in the office. But it can be used elsewhere too. That is the power of USB!

Use it at Starbucks and ask other customers if they want some beans. Use it on your next plane trip and offer microwave beans to the flight crew.

And of course, you can take it Liveblogging to the next Apple event and feed microwave beans to Goatberg!

I like this product!
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Nick
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Billy Mays left some pretty big shoes to fill. Are you sure you're up to it?
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@Nick: I'm telling you. With the Beanzawave, you can liven up any presentation, meeting, or other location.

When was the last time you found yourself watching a 200-slide Powerpoint on the quarterly goals for the Southeast with nothing to eat but half a stale donut? Microwave some beans and you'll be the talk of the meeting!

Watching another product demo at CES? How about some hot beans?

Covering a White House press conference? Robert Gibbs will love you if you offer him some piping hot beans!

The Beanzawave is a must-have for road warriors, bloggers, and journos. Order yours now and I'll throw in this car adapter so you can make beans while cruising down the highway!
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Nick
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: damn it. what's the phone number to order?! i need this now!!
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MacBandit
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!:

I sure as %&#! don't want to be on a plane with one of these. Oh, and it has nothing to do with being worried about navigational interference.
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@MacBandit: Sir, you look like a Mac fan. How would you like to get the royal treatment next time you stop by the Genius Bar? I know I would.

Impress the Geniuses and that cute girl who needs help with her iPhone. Just take out your MacBook Pro, plug in the Beanzawave, and PRESTO! Beans for everyone!

Trust Ponies on this one: Ladies can't resist microwave beans. It's like catnip to them.
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: But wait, there's more!
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Nick
07/02/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: more?
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: This would obsolete those iPhone fart apps! You could just bring beans with you everywhere for the real experience!
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: By now, I bet you're wanting some freshly microwaved beans. But the Beanzawave is for more than just beans.

Know what else can be microwaved? Canned chili. Just take a can of chili, put it in the special Beanzawave container, and zap yourself some chili. It's a real conversation starter.

Obviously, the social implications of the Beanzawave are clear. So why not have yourself a Beanzawave party? If you act now, I'll not only throw in the car adapter; I'll include an extra Beanzawave! That's right! You get two Beanzawaves and a car adapter for one low price.

I know that WWDC just passed. But there's still more conventions, pressers, and meetups in the second half of 2009. Think of the good times you'll have.

We all know that Pogue and Mossy love Apple and Dvorak hates Apple. But they all love beans and chili. Mend fences with the Beanzawave.

And hey! maybe you'll see Steve Jobs at the conference too. Everyone wishes him well but with the Beanzawave, you can do something about it. Imagine the Twitter's reaction to the news story about you, a humble blogger, offering Steve Jobs some hot microwave beans and chili. You'll be the talk of Silicon Valley.
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite: You look like quite the gourmet. Can I get your opinion on something?

Which would you rather have: beans, chili, or nachos?

It's a tough decision. That's why I choose all of the above. The Beanzawave can heat up beans, chili, and nachos.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I love eating nacho cheese. I bet you do too. That's why I'm throwing in a booklet of my favorite recipes. For example, heat up some Heinz Refried Beans, some Hormel Beef Chili, and some Cheez-Whiz! Throw in some Doritos and...

BAM! Nachos on the road. And, you can use the lid of your laptop as a tray to spread the nacho love. Ever had Dorito-Nachos? Well, nothing beats Dorito-Nachos fresh out of the Beanzawave!
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Sticks Calhoun
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Is this offer good any time, or do I have to act now!?
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

@Sticks Calhoun: An excellent question. This offer is for a limited time only. But, if you're one of the next 420 callers, we'll give you this nifty humorous apron too. It says "Cube Jockey". Your co-workers will get such a chuckle.

And you can cook so many things in it. Chili. Beans. Bologna. Oscar Mayer hot-dogs. Ketchup packets. Tunafish sandwiches. Cole slaw. Frosties from Wendy's. Mayonnaise. Three-day old fries. Ruffles Potato Chips.

Everything a growing boy needs.
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IN THE FACE!
07/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: You're gonna LOVE my nuts, I mean beanz!
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tensai
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
if it needs batteries still, whats the point of using additional usb power.
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/02/09

@tensai: Maybe either USB or batteries alone will not be able to power the sheer awesomeness of this device.
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MrSpyder
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
BiteNuker!
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IN THE FACE!
07/02/09

@MrSpyder: picowave
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Hello Mister Walrus
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
This could possibly be the single greatest invention of mankind, surpassing the printing press, music theory, the internet and space exploration. This calls for celebration, or perhaps the immediate extinction of humans so that we will end at the highest possible point in our civilization.
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weatherman
07/02/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: well said, though among human achievements I would rank it this way;

1) The Internet

2) Ice

3) Seedless Grapes

4) Space Exploration

5) Printing Press

6) Dentistry

7) Bathrooms where you don't have to touch anything but yourself

8) Beanzawave

9) Popeil Pocket Fisherman

10 Music Theory
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Great, now the fuckers in my office can burn popcorn at their desks instead of in just the break room.
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Bigbadbikernerd
07/02/09

@Act Now and get a 4th Celebrity Death Free!: Lite: I don't think a bag of popcorn will fit in there.

Burning popcorn does smell like shit though...why can't people just follow directions?
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ursa
07/02/09

@Bigbadbikernerd: I've heard that microwave popcorn is a leading cause of office fires. People burn it then dump the still insanely hot bag in the trash bin.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
07/02/09

@ursa: Not around my ofice. People are still way too traditional. They usually use a gasoline soaked rag, and a zippo.
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infmom
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Beans, beans, they're good for your heart........
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Nick
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
excellent, now i can take this thing to Texsan Heart Hospital and drum up some more business for 'em. pacemakers still do that funny thing with microwaves, right?
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Grendel
07/02/09

@Nick: Not for a decade or so. Only effects Morans now ;)
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Nick
07/02/09

@Grendel: well, i guess there is still a small segment of early adopters i can make switch over to the next gen stuff.
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qbrad
07/02/09

@Grendel: Morans? Like the steakhouse?
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QB8Young
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Pointless as most things I want to microwave are larger then this will hold
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weatherman
07/02/09

@QB8Young: maybe you should just eat smaller things.
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92BuickLeSabre
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Obviously you have completely misunderstood this product.

A beanzawave does not work just like a microwave, otherwise they would have simply called it the Heinz Mini-Microwave.

It clearly heats food through the power of beanzawaves.

And no, please do not ask how it produces the beanzawaves.
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webster32
07/02/09

@92BuickLeSabre: haha where do you come up with this stuff?
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nutbastard
07/02/09

@webster32:

the star gives us superhuman powers of wankery.
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MacBandit
07/02/09

@92BuickLeSabre:

How does it produce Beanzawaves?
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
07/02/09

@MacBandit: First you eat the beans- then the beanzwaves come to you.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
07/03/09

@MacBandit: Much like I produce S-rays.
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OMG! Ponies!
07/02/09

In reply to Heinz Beanzawave USB Desktop Microwave In Action
Just what we all need: microwave beans to eat throughout the workday.

I'm guessing that Gawker West must smell oh-so-delightful...
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Techguy1138
06/08/09

In reply to Beanzawave USB-Powered Beans Microwave is What USB Was Created For
Is anyone else thinking sweet! Now I can build a radar system for my office?

Damn where else can I find a microwave emitter that operates on 3.3v dc?
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KingPsyz here for HappyFunKingPsyz©
06/08/09

@Techguy1138:
No, but that sounds 10 kinds of awesome.

So Heinz Radar detector connected to a webcam / USB missle launcher array?
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videobeagle
06/08/09

@Do not taunt Happy Fun King Psyz:

And can make a tasty snack!
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Hello Mister Walrus
06/08/09

@videobeagle: And can discretely make your coworkers sterile.
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Eddie Dounn
06/08/09

In reply to Beanzawave USB-Powered Beans Microwave is What USB Was Created For
thank god
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Hello Mister Walrus
06/08/09

@Eddie Dounn: Who needs god when you have this?
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