UPDATE: Looks like there was a late entry to our list of current top spokesassholes: Miss Julia Allison has just signed a yearlong deal to peddle Sony's wares. About time that her attention-whoring went global! [Sony Insider via Gawker]

Thanks, Rob B. for the inspiration!

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Back and Worse Than Ever

Some of us were near tears when T-Mobile decided to drop Zeta-Jones as their official spokesasshole, but the good news is that she's back. The bad news is that as soon as we heard her nerve-grinding accent, we remembered that those were tears of joy.

Sir Richard Branson, Kind-Hearted Snob

It was difficult to deem Sir Richard Branson as a spokesasshole. He is such a nice man and only wants innovative technology to reach those from "all walks of life"—assuming that they make $40 million annually, of course.

Laptop Hunters Lauren, Giampaolo and Lisa

Lisa, Lauren, and Giampaolo are the biggest spokesassholes in the Laptop Hunters commercials. Lisa shatters eardrums with her exclamation of "WhaaaaAAAAaat?!?!", Lauren followed the ads up with claims that they were unscripted, and Giampaolo is just plain smarmy.

Acer Timeline's Metrosexual Model

It isn't the first time Acer has made questionable advertising decisions, but did they really have to hire Giampaolo's brother to model for the Acer Timeline?

Maybe one day he'll button up the shirt and put on some sunglasses that don't look like they're his girlfriend's. I hope he didn't quit his day job (waiter? male prostitute?) when he landed this gig, because it won't last long.

Verizon Probably Only Merged With Alltel To Get Rid of Chad

Verizon and Alltel may have merged, but we've still seen Chad's picture looming around Alltel's website. With his spiky blonde hair, laid back walk, and inability to take a hint, he's a true menagerie of what this gallery represents.

Wes Moss? Why, Microsoft? Why?

Zune Spokesasshole Wes Moss nearly broke our douche point scale. If you can stand watching this Zune spot, after those Laptop Hunter ads, you'll see why.

Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre's Monster Mess

Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine are two ridiculously wealthy guys who decide, in their spare time, to become even more wealthy by peddling some overpriced headphones. Even if you ignore the fact that they're distributed by Monster, and even if you admit that the headphones aren't that bad—there's no way the duo can't escape the spokesasshole brand.

Photo by jakeludington

Hi, I'm Justin Long, Spokesasshole Extraordinaire

It's not much of a secret that some of us here are Apple fans, but not even that stopped us from pronouncing Apple's "I'm a Mac" guy and his smug attitude and thinly veiled disdain for PC as spokesasshole material.

Tamara Hope in the Return of the Stoner Commercials

The Palm Pre commercials started off terribly and only got worse until we stepped in with a remix. Though since it seems that Palm was really giving a nod to Ellen Feiss of Mac Switcher fame with these creepy "What is she on and where can I get some?" commercials, we'll only rate actress Tamara Hope as half a spokesasshole.

Michael "AWESOME" Bay and Verizon FiOS

We can forgive Michael Bay for not sharing video footage of Megan Fox washing his car, since he at least had her show a bit of skin in Transformers 2. What we can't forgive him for his display of spokesassholery in this pitch for Verizon FiOS. By the fifth "AWESOME!" things turn from funny to "Please walk into the next exploding building, Michael."

Ashton Kutcher, Nikon's Smooth Operator

You've got to hand it to Kutcher. The man with a million Twitter sheep has risen from underwear model to annoying spokesasshole and GI Jane toy-boy. Though we can't help but see Kelso every time he's fumbling around on screen.

"I just want our product to sound better," Iovine said. "The record business committed many, many mistakes in the last 10 years, and I'm right in there. One of them was letting its product get degraded. It's one thing to let it get stolen, it's another to allow it to be degraded because then you really don't have a chance...video games and TV quality are getting better and the quality of our work is getting lower. If that happens, then music will become disposable. That's something we can fix."

Their goal, it seems, is to educate the iPod-owning masses about what music should sound like so that we may rise up and demand this sort of quality in the future. Details on the product line have not been released, but we do know that they will feature a premium price tag—a major barrier for adoption beyond the hardcore audiophile. While I agree that the public puts up with sub-standard sound quality in many cases, the best way to make a technology mainstream is to make it affordable. [CNET via BusinessWeek]

"When I'm making a track I'm trying to capture the sound that makes me go 'now THAT's the shit! And I want that reaction from everybody who hears it. I spend a lot of time in the studio listening to my music through headphones...with Beats, people are finally going to hear it the way they should: the way I do."

Monster Teams Up with Dr. Dre and Interscope Chairman Jimmy Iovine to Design State-of-the-Art "Beats" Headphones Engineered to Accurately Reproduce the Best of Today's Pop Music

Legendary Music Producer/Artist Dr. Dre's First-Ever Foray Into Consumer Products

Las Vegas, NV, January 6, 2008 - Monster, well known for working with legendary musicians on countless productions recorded with Monster Cable and Monster Power products, is proud to announce the introduction of the first-ever product to be endorsed by legendary music producer and artist Dr. Dre. The new "Beats by Dr. Dre" high-performance headphones were conceived by Dr. Dre and mutually designed, with groundbreaking and inventive engineering by Monster. The headphones feature both a unique and futuristic style as well as newly developed sonic technologies for unprecedented state-of-the-art performance.

When world-class producers like Dr. Dre record their music, they utilize large high-performance studio loudspeakers and high-powered amplifiers to craft richly detailed musical soundscapes. Until now, however, consumers listening back to the music using conventional headphones have never had the opportunity to experience the full sonic palette of these recordings, with the full dynamic range, low bass, punch and clarity intended by the producers. To provide consumers with a brand new level of headphone audio performance, Dr. Dre, Jimmy Iovine, Chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records, and Monster, three of the most powerful forces in music and technology, teamed up to create "Beats by Dr. Dre." Monster's innovative sound and design engineers implemented the team's vision.

Engineered to Meet the Demanding Sonic Requirements of Today's Music

In order to re-create the rich, full sonic experience of today's best recordings, "Beats" powered isolation headphones utilize technologies never before used in headphones, including a newly developed driver technology. The result is unequalled performance, with remarkably natural sound, incredible transient response and rich, deep bass - a Dr. Dre trademark. In development for two years, "Beats by Dr. Dre" are tuned personally by Dr. Dre and The Head Monster himself.

"When I'm making a track I'm trying to capture the sound that makes me go 'now THAT's the shit! And I want that reaction from everybody who hears it," said Dr. Dre. "I spend a lot of time in the studio listening to my music through headphones...with Beats, people are finally going to hear it the way they should: the way I do."

"Dre and I have been developing these headphones for a while and in Monster we found a partner that could work with us to crystallize his vision and develop them to the quality level he expects," said Jimmy Iovine, Chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records. "'Beats by Dr. Dre' is yet another example of Interscope's commitment to working together with its artists in developing new avenues to experience music."

Noel Lee, Head Monster, noted: "Dr. Dre is widely-known as the most critical ear in music today. This rare partnership with such an iconic artist is a testament to the both the need for high-performance headphones and the singular quality of 'Beats.' Listening to music with Beats headphones is a true 'ear opening' experience; users will enjoy not only their comfort and style, but their sonic performance that is unequalled in any other headphone."

Unique Design

"Beats by Dr. Dre" have a unique and avant-garde new look and that will revolutionize the headphone world. Everything about the sleek Beats headphones, from their glossy extra-wide headband and hip carrying case to the high-impact attention-getting packaging reflects impeccable style. The wide adjustable headband, hinged ear cups and high-quality Monster cable makes the Beats listening experience unmatched for comfort and function. A push-to-listen Mute button adds to the flexibility and convenience.

"Beats by Dr. Dre" headphones will come in a beautifully designed carrying case with anti-microbial cleaning cloths, a special Monster headphone cable, a mini-stereo to ¼-inch stereo cable adapter, as well as Monster's iSonitalk, a microphone/headphone adapter for iPhones. Beats will be available in spring 2008 for a suggested retail price of $399.95.

[Monster and Beats by Dre]