Designer Kayla Kromer strikes a pose.

Leia lookalike not included.

Perfect for lighting up the insides of a massive asteroid tube worm.

Comm dish throw pillow!

Jar Jar, as ever, is like a virus that won't go away. Hopefully he's the only virus this bed sees. Bah dun dun. [Facebook via Geekologie]

But if I'm forced to use it, I won't complain. Designed by Florian Schärfer, the Melted Clock bed has integrated speakers, touch-sensitive buttons to snooze and control playback, and a haptic, touch sensitive alarm clock. Not a bad concept.

Still, the hammock and cocktails sound a lot better. [Yanko Design via Unplggd]

Little squirt's a couch cushion now, that's what happened. Somewhere in there, beneath polyester layers, foam and particleboard, lay a flattened Jimmy.

I hope it was quick. I hope it really was an accident. We may never know. The truth may have very well ended up lost in the cracks between those cushions right alongside doomed little Jimmy. Was it a jealous friend? Negligent furniture assembly on the part of the distant father? Shoddy craftsmanship and a class action job waiting to happen? Whole thing had my head spinning like a Snudda Lazy Susan from IKEA, just $7.99 before shipping.

Whatever it is, I'll let the station figure it out. I have to get to IKEA. Something about death by meatball.

Editor's Note: Yes, by Internet standards this is an incredibly old sofabed. Relax. [Padstyle via Geekologie]

Basically the bed fully supports all of your body weight by attaching to subway ventilation grating. And to prove that it works, some poor guy got assigned to the task of taking 40 minute naps in the middle of New York. Since he didn't get mugged or fall over, this could be considered a successful trial.

The Vertical bed comes complete with noise-cancelling headphones, opaque sunglasses, a free standing umbrella, and fits into a suitcase. No idea when we'll be able to buy one, but I'll be wishing I already had it while waiting in line. [Substitute Materials via Design Launches]

Of course, this had to be designed by the epitome of naff, Mr. Karim Rashid. Fair enough, Karim, you finally did it: I'm getting this. [Hollandia International via Apartment Therapy]

Sadly, the source site doesn't allow embedding, so I've assembled a series of screen grabs to try and capture the raw violence I saw in the original video. The same video, coincidentally, you can catch in the accompanying link. [TechEblog]

With a pillow missing in its rectangular design, it allows you to slip your head through the hole—poncho style—and use it as both a pillow and a blanket.

But if you get cold easily in the night, you'd probably need extra blankets since it looks like there are gaps between each pillow. Also, if you're the type that likes to snuggle, this blanket could potentially be a problem in the bedroom—unless you both have extremely small noggins. [designboom]

Q: What about entertainment? I can't just sleep all day (or can I?).

If it is entertainment you seek, look no further than the Hi-Can high fidelity canopy. It will enable you to surf the web, watch movies, play games and listen to music—all from the comfort of your bed. You can even control other gadgets in the room via a control panel located on the headboard. At this point the bed is only a concept, but the words "coming soon" at the end of the video on the website offer some hope that it will become a commercial product. [Hi-Can via Link]

Chances are the Hi-Can is going to be a little rich for your blood, but you still have plenty of inexpensive choices when it comes to MP3 pillows. This particular iPod-shaped version is soft enough to sleep on, but you can also hook it to your iPod (or any other MP3 player) to listen to your favorite tunes through its speakers. You can even scan through FM radio. Available for $19.99. [Kleargear]

If you want a comfortable way to use your laptop in bed, LapDawg has the answer with a wooden stand that will allow you to use your computer in a variety of positions—even lying down. Available for $130. [LapDawg via Link]

Q: What about sex? I like sex.

Don't worry—we have you covered. First up we have this Private Cloud bed by designer Manuel Kloker. As you can see from the image above, it can rock. It is also available for sale, although the price is unknown. If you can't put 2 and 2 together with how that could prove useful in a sexual situation, chances are you are not so popular with the ladies. Let me re-direct you to another product more suited to your needs:

Strip Tease Pillow Cases: While this pillowcase is fairly tame, I can assure you that things get interesting as the stripping continues on pillow 2. Available for $19.95. [Private Cloud Bed via Link and Strip Tease Pillow Cases—NSFW Link!]

Getting back on track, we have the aptly titled "Love Mattress." It offers couples "a simple yet effective position for embracing" using polyurethane-injected foam strips that allow arms and feet to fit between the gaps. In other words, you can hold your partner without having your arms fall asleep. And, by the looks of things, it can offer quite a bit of traction. Unfortunately, the Love Mattress is only a concept at this point. [Gooya Design via Link]

If you are looking for something a little classier and more elaborate, we have the Sphere Bed with its 32-inch LCD TV, surround sound speakers, champagne chiller and massage unit under the mattress. Plus, it has that plush red frame that just screams sex. [Product Page via Link]

Q: As you can probably tell, my priorities are messed up—which is why I put sex and entertainment over hygiene. But I do shower every once in awhile—can I do that in bed?

Yes...yes you can. The Shower Bath in Bed is normally reserved for those with severe physical limitations, but I don't see why it can't be utilized by the lazy as well. Basically, the Shower Bath in Bed is a collapsible tub that stays on the bed at all times. When it is time for a bath or shower, the tub basin is formed and a shower head with hot and cold faucets is fed water from a supply system that can be connected to a sink or bathroom faucet spout. When the shower is complete, the water can be funneled to a floor drain or pumped into a commode, sink or bathtub with the optional Automatic Drain AUDR-1 accessory. Not surprisingly, this kind of convenience doesn't come cheap. Expect to pay well over $5000 for the complete package. [Shower Bath in Bed]

Q: What about dropping a deuce? Can I do that in bed?

Sure—if you have one of these Quantum Sleepers. One of the main perks is a complete toiletry system, but the fun does not stop there. The unit also functions as a panic room that can protect you from break-ins, chemical warfare and natural disasters. The unit is completely air-tight so filtered O2 is pumped in. It also features 1.25" polycarbonate bulletproof plating, a heating and air conditioning system, cover and door actuators with emergency release, a proximity sensor, O2 sensor, smoke detector, motion detector, an emergency communication system and backup battery power.

According to the product page, the rebreather system will work for three days before the unit starts to tap outside air—which is more than enough for a weekend of serious R&R. Curiously enough, it is also enough time to die of dehydration. There does not seem to be any mention of how rations and water would be stored. [Quantum Sleeper]

Q: I like the idea behind that Quantum Sleeper. If Armageddon should come while I lie in bed this weekend, how will I kill the zombies that are sure to roam the Earth?

With a "Back-Up" bed rifle rack, of course! When it is inserted under the mattresses, your shotgun is always within arms' reach. [Back-Up]

Q: What about the kids? How can I keep them out of my hair this weekend?

As a bonus, I offer you these space shuttle and pirate ship themed beds. If you are willing to drop around $2600 and $8000 (respectively) on beds this awesome, chances are your kids won't want to leave bed either. [Space Shuttle Bed via Link and Pirate Ship Bed]

It's also surrounded by a plush, red frame that'll be perfect for holding you up against while I do my thing, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. There are also surround sound speakers in there so we can feel surrounded by the audio coming from my virtual fireplace DVD that'll really help us heat things up.

There's a place to chill a bottle of bubbly as well, if you want to run around the corner to the liquor store and pick up a bottle of Andre for us. I'll pay you back, sweetheart, you know I'm good for it. Did I mention that the mattress has a massage unit underneath for after we get all freaky? That's right, we can both get massages at the same time. I smell love coming on, baby. Love. [Product Page via Unplggd]

If that doesn't have you vaulting to the phone to place an order already, perhaps the understated Akva sales pitch will sway you: "Feel the gallop thundering through your body — sense the blast from take-off, or lose yourself in the giddying sensation of hovering with eagles in the sky. It is all just motion picture make believe, of course - but when you are lying in your waterbed with its built-in loudspeakers, you feel like Harry Potter on the Hippogriff's back." Hear that? This bed feels like mounting a Hippogriff. SOLD. [Akva Sound]

Those Murphy beds were loved by cartoon and vintage comedy makers, though we reckon BedUp has good comedy potential if it zipped down unexpectedly during the daytime. Customizable for size and color, it even lowers to a selectable height so that there's room for furniture underneath. From French designers Décadrages, its convenience will cost you: available from $4,300 upwards. [Bedup via Treehugger]

If you're always fighting with the missus about the temperature, this baby can keep you cool down to 68° or heat things up all the way up to 117° on the other side, immediately ending temperature disputes. There's also 2500-watt surround sound system with four 8-inch subwoofers, Internet connectivity, wireless RF remote that hooks you up with a 1.5TB media server with four gigs of RAM, a docking station for your iPod and a 1080p projector. Who says beds are only for sleep and sex? Hop into this sucker and you may never leave. The catch? Fully equipped, this magic carpet will set you back a cool $50K. [Leggett & Platt]

To enhance your pleasure, the Lomme comes with sexy lighting, a muscle relaxing system (now you're scaring me) and an iPod dock, so you can thrill your Comes-Free-With-The-Bed lady with that Linkin Park gig you downloaded last week, and recreate how you think the concert lighting should have been. As to whether she'll stay around or not - well, your guess is as good as mine. The downside? It's only available in Liechtenstein at the moment, so that probably means it's 'spensivo. – Ad Dugdale

Product Page [Lomme via Sci-Fi Blog]