Lawnmowers, with their spinning, ground level blades, are most dangerous to small animals, young children, and feet. Recently, one Mowing Menace trapped a 4-year-old girl's foot under its blades of doom, causing enough damage to require amputation. In fact, she was one of 77,000 people who go to the hospital every year, victims of mowing-related violence.

Clearly, in the epic battle of Man vs. Machine, mowers don't intend to play fair.

A mower in Oregon flipped its rider down an embankment and into a ditch before rolling itself onto some blackberry bushes above the trapped man. The lawn mower's heat actually set the blackberry bushes on fire, and when they gave way, the mower itself tumbled 15-20 feet to rest on top of its owner, trapping him in the ditch. Though the victim wasn't severely burned, the crushing weight of his mower caused enough unspecified injuries to necessitate a helicopter airlift to a nearby hospital.

Another one, at a park in Indiana, was being peacefully driven around the perimeter of a lake when it snagged a wire, flipped and slowly dragged its helpless rider into the water like a conniving, hungry alligator. Though the tractor technically did not devour the 59-year-old John McComas, it did pin him in the shallows of the lake, rendering him unable to move. Thankfully, he managed to keep his head above water and shouted for help, and was rescued soon enough to escape with only mild injuries.

A lawnmower in Florida apparently took offense to its owner doing a little repair work on it, and so shot a spark onto the owner's nearby boat. The spark ignited gas fumes and the boat promptly burst into flames, sending up huge plumes of smoke and the risk of serious fire in the "tinderbox conditions" of that stretch of the Atlantic coastline. The town's fire commissioner, Fred Link, explained with laughable naivete, "It was accidentally started." Sure, Fred, that's what they want you to think.

Lawnmowers don't just act alone, though. They are capable of teaming up with other terrors to dish out even more devastation. In Texas, the mere sound of a lawn mower was enough to enrage a nearby swarm of killer Africanized bees. That's right, Africanized bees, the ones the hysterical news media alerted your attention to back in 1999. The killer bees, responding to the mower's calls, attacked nearby residents, stinging two bystanders and two firemen. None were seriously injured, and another fireman said he "barely managed to avoid being stung," a quote he probably wishes had not appeared in his local paper. The bees were exterminated, but the mower lived to fight another day.

But just like in Battlestar Galactica, some of these appliances have decided to side with humans—defending them instead of terrorizing them. In Croatia, an innocent man was mowing his lawn when suddenly, his mower detonated a live hand grenade, sacrificing its own self in the process. The man escaped uninjured, but still confused as to what a live grenade was doing in his garden.

The idea is to simulate a near-death experience for the bee at the hands (or 8 legs) of a crab spider. Bees fly into a room containing 16 floral yellow rectangles complete with a spider relief, sponge-covered pincers and a hole filled with sugar water. Bees that ignore the dangers are punished when the pincers are remotely triggered—immobilizing and infuriating them. What results is a form of bee post-traumatic stress. After training, many of the bees became a little paranoid—getting spooked even when they landed on "safe" rectangles with no spider. A video of the device in action is available in the following link, and you can almost hear the researchers laughing their ass off in the background. [Science News via Boing Boing]

She's making artsy glass orbs that have specially sized compartments inside. The bees buzz around inside, and when you blow into them they either fly around like the stupid bees that they are or they fly into the compartments depending on what the diagnosis is. It works because bees have very sensitive senses of smell and can be trained to target specific odors that appear in your breath when you're sick.

Would this be cheaper than seeing a doctor? Yes, yes it would, but I think I would want a second opinion from a non-insect if a bee told me I had a terminal illness. But hey, if you don't have health insurance I guess there are worse animals you could go to for medical consultations. [MOMA via Dvice]

The company literally trains bees as a police force might train dogs. Using Pavlovian principles, the bees are given a food reward when they sniff, let's say, cocaine. Over time, the bees are conditioned to stick out their tongues in hunger over the smell of this substance.

Then, in a highly scientific operation, the bees are taped to your measurement device. A camera closely tracks the bee tongues while the you pray that the SWAT team really is on their way (lest you need to release your "measurement device" for self-defense).

We're planning on going back to bed now. And when we wake up, we'd better not see any more bee bomb detectors. [product via geekologie]

The virus is believed to have come from US agricultural firms importing bees from Australia to beef up pollination efforts in America. According to Canada's Globe & Mail:

The discovery of the virus has raised speculation that the United States inadvertently allowed it into the country through the import of Australian bees. This was allowed in 2004, at the urging of the agricultural industry, to boost the number of hives available for pollinating high-value crops such as almonds...The import of the bees coincided with the first reports of unusual problems in bee colonies.

As tragic as the problem is, it's good news for gadget lovers: our beloved phones are, well, off the hook. [Globe & Mail]

German research has long shown that bees' behaviour changes near power lines. Now a limited study at Landau University has found that bees refuse to return to their hives when mobile phones are placed nearby....Dr George Carlo, who headed a massive study by the US government and mobile phone industry of hazards from mobiles in the Nineties, said: "I am convinced the possibility is real."

Are Mobile Phones Wiping Out Our Bees? [via boingboing]
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