Action Figure

The first toy is the action figure. Yes, it's plastic, but it stands about a foot tall and the glossy paint'll have you fooled for a second. Powered by a triad of AAA batteries, the Iron Man has a LED repulsor in one hand that triggers when you articulate the shoulder joint upward, or fire the plastic missile blaster in the right palm. Either act is accompanied by noise. There is a heel switch which when lifted off of, triggers flying noises that do not stop until you put the suit's foot down. Can head's eyes do not glow, but his chest plate does when you press it, and a synthesized voice (not even Downy Junior's in disguise) repeats a few haughty phrases more like a Decepticon and less like the charming drunk billionaire inside: "I am IRon MAan!", "REpulSOR Blasts ", "Target Enga-ged!" Unfortunate. I would have liked for him to quip about needing to refill the suit's martini maker.

Kid sized Mask and Repulsor Gauntlet

The mask fits adults. I tried it. But unlike the incredible Optimus Prime voice changing helmet, this one is dead. No lights, no speakers, no mics. Just an elastic band and a disclaimer reading "CAUTION This is not a protective device." There isn't even any plastic over the eye slits. And that's probably best because this thing gets steamy.

Accompanying the mask is a gauntlet that fires six plastic discs (think casino chips), sequentially, using a spring loaded mechanism. It is totally fucking lame. Because each disc flies in a four-foot arc that can best be described as limp. Even more stupid, they engineered a safety that stops the gun from being fired when off wrist. It's a weak gesture at safety because it's so easy to overstep, and goddamn it, if kids want to shoot their eyes out with this thing, it's their American right. Plus, again, there is no way this underpowered toy will ever hurt anyone. Nor will it entertain.

Stark Industries N.R.F 425 Blaster: Nerf Repulsor Machine Gun
Here's a good one. This nerf-designed gun has a magazine for 10 darts, which it can dispense up to 30 feet at an alarming pace. It's all air powered, with the clip being driven up by spring in between shots. It fires one at a time, but to empty the clip in one rapid evacuation, you fill the air chamber with 20 pumps and hold down your itchy finger. The entire thing blows its load in less than five seconds. Very satisfying, and included is a easy wall mountable set of targets that feel a bit like shrinky dinks.

We're not too sure why Creative wouldn't want their old products having proper cross OS support implemented. Sure, they do provide beta drivers, but word is they aren't to stable, plus we're guessing their newer, shinier and more expensive replacement devices have something to do with it. Frankly, those won't sell if some asshole is putting down his own, backward compatible drivers to bring old hardware up to speed. Checkout what Creative had to say below:

Daniel_K:

We are aware that you have been assisting owners of our Creative sound cards for some time now, by providing unofficial driver packages for Vista that deliver more of the original functionality that was found in the equivalent XP packages for those sound cards. In principle we don't have a problem with you helping users in this way, so long as they understand that any driver packages you supply are not supported by Creative. Where we do have a problem is when technology and IP owned by Creative or other companies that Creative has licensed from, are made to run on other products for which they are not intended. We took action to remove your thread because, like you, Creative and its technology partners think it is only fair to be compensated for goods and services. The difference in this case is that we own the rights to the materials that you are distributing. By enabling our technology and IP to run on sound cards for which it was not originally offered or intended, you are in effect, stealing our goods. When you solicit donations for providing packages like this, you are profiting from something that you do not own. If we choose to develop and provide host-based processing features with certain sound cards and not others, that is a business decision that only we have the right to make.

Although you say you have discontinued your practice of distributing unauthorized software packages for Creative sound cards we have seen evidence of them elsewhere along with donation requests from you. We also note in a recent post of yours on these forums, that you appear to be contemplating the release of further packages. To be clear, we are asking you to respect our legal rights in this matter and cease all further unauthorized distribution of our technology and IP. In addition we request that you observe our forum rules and respect our right to enforce those rules. If you are in any doubt as to what we would consider unacceptable then please request clarification through one of our forum moderators before posting.

Phil O'Shaughnessy
VP Corporate Communications
Creative Labs Inc.