For when one night of crying in a cold shower isn't enough, the Jägermeister 6-Bottle Shot Cooler puts six bottles of the licorice from hell on ice, making them accessible through a spigot that looks suitably impossible to properly sterilize. At $120, the price must look a bit steep to most college freshman. But this is your future we're talking about, people. Spare no expense. This college certainly isn't going to drop itself out. [Jägermeister via Uncrate via uberreview]

The Arkteg features a 24-inch 1080i LCD that's powererd by a Dell GX260 SFF—a bargain bin PC that can handle any MAMEing you have in mind. With the PC core, you score extras like Wi-Fi, DVD playback and karaoke, along with support for multiple brands of romz. (69 licensed games including Mortal Kombat II and Centipede come preloaded.)

The keyboard stows away while HAPP buttons and joysticks along with a Betson-Imperial 3-inch ball sit framed by a laser-cut aluminum panel.

On the beer side, the Arkeg stores 5 gallons of brew along with a 5lb CO2 bottle. Everything's kept cool with near-silent Solid-state Thermoelectric Cooling System.

Is it worth $4000? Probably not. But Dream Arcades drinking-and-driving-friendly Octane will run you almost double. [Arkeg]

The Portable Tap Dispenser also has a cupholder so you can more fully cement your reputation as the Beer God of the Party. We're not sure exactly what the bag's capacity is, but it looks plenty big enough to get you a cheer when you walk into a get-together, provided you can serve the beer before it gets flat. It's available now for about $35. [Fun Ideas via Crunchgear]

The $20, 1.5-gallon boxes of beer are designed for the paradoxical beer drinkers who prefer their beer to come from the tap but also don't care if said beer is actually good. They're currently testing boxes of Miller Lite and Coors Lite in a few cities and will expand it to nationwide this football season if all goes well.

And for those of you too lazy to do the math, 1.5 gallons is equal to 16 bottles. So you'll be paying $1.25 per bottle for your shit beer, which is more expensive than buying a 12-pack of bottles.

But hell, boxes classed wine up, so why not beer too? Boxes are just so refined. [WSJ via Gawker; Pic]

The closest thing to porn you're likely to see in the App Store, Swimsuit Illustrated's Swimsuit App, tops the sales list, followed by the medical marijuana location app "Cannabis" and finally "Mixologist," an app directory of recipes for mixed drinks. What does this prove? Will social conservatives start decrying iPhone users as degenerate drug addict alcoholic pornographers? [FolioMag]

The pub, to be called the Spitfire, had already installed its equipment, made connections with beer and food vendors, hired 22 employees, and even hung signs in preparation for its opening when Microsoft pulled the plug. We'll make light of the prohibitive aspects of the story, but those 22 people are out of a job now.

Said Microsoft spokesman Lou Gellos, "The goal was always to create a cool gathering place for employees, but to do so in a manner that's consistent with a business environment. We took a second look at that, and we were sensitive to the business environment. We decided we should do something more appropriate, and that meant not having a pub."

Somebody needs to watch more Mad Men, am I right? That Don Draper drinks all the time and he's a marketing genius, something Microsoft might want to take note of. [TechFlash]

The Alcohol Shot Gun fires 1 oz of delicious booze right into your mouth (or onto your face, as it would probably turn into after a few rounds). It's the perfect way for you to turn a night of drinking into an awkward show of your aggressiveness and homoerotic tendencies. Party on, dudes. [Urban Trend via Slippery Brick]

Scientists and oenologists (did you know there's a word for wine dorks? Other than wino?) have discovered that they can rapidly age and thus round out the flavor of cheap, gross wine by using powerful electrodes. This technique is mostly being applied to raw, young wines, but it very much improves the flavor and "mouthfeel" of cheap and dirty wines as well. Wine is pumped through a pipe running between two titanium electrodes, which increases the reactions between alcohols and acids. Those reactions produce esters, which contribute to fruitiness and flavor.

They also found that too much electricity can create gross new flavors from new aldehydes, rendering it worse than it began, but a few super snobs have testified that the artificial aging really does work. The efforts were begun in China by chemist Xin An Zeng, and now a number of Chinese wineries are investigating the possibilities. Personally, I've been waiting for electrified wine for years. [The New Scientist]

Bar2 is radio controlled and runs about 8 hours on a single charge. And as you can see in our gallery, he's great with the ladies.

The robot is a fully stocked bar on wheels with compartments for ice, beer and mixed drinks. Grab a beer from Bar2 and its carousel system automatically rotates to present you with the next bottle (15 max capacity). The top carousel holds up to six bottles of hard alcohol and mixers that is programmable to mix the perfect drink.

And Bar2D2 sounds like his fictional counterpart, stocked with the soundboard of an R2-D2 toy. See the full process of building Bar2 over at Jamie Price's flickr page. [flickr via Gizmowatch]

After their initial success, they developed a more elaborate copper pipe system with a Jacob's Ladder and dubbed it VOLT/AGED. Throw in a safety cage, Oil Punk plexiglass, and a timer that determines how many years the alcohol should be aged and you have a functional piece of equipment that is also interesting to look at. My liver hurts just thinking about it. [Jon Sarriugarte via MAKE]