Gizmodo: bra

Japanese Putting Bra Lets You Golf Into Lingerie

Adam Frucci — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:40:00 EST

Sometimes, you just want to practice your putting. If you're near a woman wearing Triumph's new golf outfit, and you can convince her to take it off, you can putt to your heart's content.

Yes, this ludicrous item consists of a green bra that transforms into a putting green, with the cups turning into holes. Sink a putt, and a speaker says "Nice shot!" There's also a skirt that turns into a flag that says "Be Quiet" on it, for keeping onlookers hushed while you golf next to a naked woman.

What I like about the whole getup is how practical it is. [Pink Tentacle via Tokyo Mango]

Cup&Up Surgically Implanted Bras Won't Affect Lingerie Sales Any Time Soon

Rosa Golijan — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:40:00 EST

I cannot fathom why someone would surgically shove a silicon bra into her body. Sure, your breast will look perfectly shaped and perky even once clothes come off, but you'll also have bra straps going through your muscles and ribs.

While according to studies done on pigs, the entire procedure was safe and caused no internal damage, I somehow wouldn't trust something as precious as my boobs to the Cup&Up. Line up for other procedures that worked in animals, but please just stick to wrapping bras around your breast. [Isreal21c via MedGadget]

This week, Gizmodo is exploring the enhanced human future in a segment we call This Cyborg Life. It's about what happens when we treat our body less as a sacred object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine.

This Inflating Bra Commercial Left Me Confused Yet Reaching For My Wallet

Rosa Golijan — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:03:21 EST

Based on my non-existent Chinese skills, I managed to understand that this inflatable bra makes boobs big, BIG, BIG. And I guess it comes with odd sound effects included? Can someone watch please this commercial and translate for me?

I just really need to know whether the voice over guy or the girl with the measuring tape are included with the purchase or sold separately.

Sleeping Bra Improves Your Misshapen Boobs

Sean Fallon — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:40:00 EDT

We have covered every crazy snake oil bra out there designed to improve a woman's bust, but so far nothing that claims to alter their shape. That is until the 'Sleeping Bust Up Bra'.

Apparently, you wear it while sleeping and it magically molds your boobs to their round and perky potential. Interesting, but what they really need to make is a man bra that molds breast fat into something that looks like muscular pecs. [Tokyo Times]

Vibrating Breast Enhancer Claims to Boost Your Mammaries

Danny Allen — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 05:15:29 EDT

Unlike Pangao's Magic Massage Bra, these bizarre little inserts support (cough) almost any bra to "quickly improve, firm and increase your bust." Apparently, "just a half hour per day" is all that's required to see results.

$10.69 (plus $5.49 shipping) gets you two battery-powered inserts.

Features from the site:

* Quickly improve, firm and increase your bust.
* Electronic Breast Enhancer Enlargement Massager Vibration.
* Inserts Breast Massager into your bra and gently massage your breasts to against age and gravity to help your breasts healthy.
* Most women wear Electronic Breast Enhancer at home, initially, just a half hour per day and then as required by seeing the results.
* The soft vibration was enjoyable for the women who have trailed the bra insert, which is have a small battery powered device built into it. ( each piece only powered by a AG13 cell )
* Dimensions: 9.3 x 4 x 0.4cm
* Color: picture show
* Weight: 119.9g

[Uxsight via RedFerret]

Magic Massage Bra Enlarges Breasts

Jesus Diaz — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:40:00 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Oh Pangao, you got me at "Enlarge female's breast obviously: Pangao breast enhancer can stimulate female's breast, accelerate blood circulation and activate cell renewal and hormone secretion through physical massage with forceful vibration balls inside." YES!

According to the company, this "micro-computerized, low-voltage, intensity adjustable" Magic Massage Bra will do all these things:

• Make breast up.
• Dredge breast glands.
• Eliminate blood stasis.
• Effectively prevent women from breasts diseases and flaccid
• Also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure.
• If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal
secretion.

Whatever all that pseudoscientific crap means, don't buy this snake oil. If you are a woman, get a magnetic bra or a bra booster instead and call the boyscouts for your breast massages. [Alibaba via Nerd Approved]

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Japanese Marriage Bra Gently Nudges Men Toward Nuptials, With Boobs

John Herrman — Wed, 13 May 2009 06:45:33 EDT

Triumph international, the same guys who came up with the eminently practical Chopstick Bra, have channeled their proudly insincere energies into fake-solving Japan's declining marriage rate. Behold... The Marriage Hunting Bra.

The garment's described objective is to allow marriage-minded women to essentially wear their ambitions, with a chest-mounted countdown clock (to what?) , pen and seal holster (for signing marriage contracts), and a ring receptacle that beeps "The Wedding March" when filled.

The whole assemblage looks like it would attract more unsolicited boob-touches than marriage proposals, but boob-touching is a known precursor to matrimony. Fact. In other news, somewhere in a quiet suburb of Tokyo, a retired feminism professor just swallowed a gun.

Since it's not currently up for sale, and because it's, well, patently ridiculous, the bra is a jokey publicity stunt more than anything else. But that didn't stop Japanese news outlets from covering it to death, as seen below. As the old saying goes, "If it ~~bleeds~~ involves semi-nude women, it leads." [Reuters via Japanprobe]

Musical Bra Barrages Boobs with Beats

Mark Wilson — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:20:00 EDT

Touching a boob is generally a satisfying experience. But what if you could take that thrill to the next level? And no, we're not talking two hands. We're talking soundtrack.

This DIY project involves sacrificing a musical toy and fitting its buttons within several layers of fabric and foam within a bra. (From our limited experience, the more layers of foam, the more striking the instruments become.) A battery around the bra's back clasp powers the speaker in the front.

Then, by poking at various spots on your partner's boobs, you can make beautiful music together. And don't let her complain about the noise. You're an artist. [Instructables via Slashgear]

Embedded Bra Improves Moods and Protects Boobs (From Harmful Cellphone Radiation)

Sean Fallon — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:50:00 EDT

Apparently, the folks in Japan are suckers for snake oil tourmaline trinkets like this bra that was recently unveiled at the Beauty World Japan exhibition in Tokyo. If you are not familiar, tourmaline is thought of as a "miracle electric stone" capable of blocking harmful radiation from cellphones, improving moods and reducing stress. Apparently, the manufacturers behind the "La-la" tourmaline-embedded bustier believe that their product can have the same positive effects—or, more accurately, that is what they want you to believe. [Beauty World Japan via 3Yen]

My Chopsticks Bra on Video Makes Me Hungry

Charlie White — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:05:09 EST

Since we showed you the My Chopsticks Bra earlier this week, a video has surfaced, giving us a closer look at exactly how the "concept undergarment" works. The fact of the matter is, it doesn't work; the bowls are just a decorative flourish instead of containers for real food. Indeed, there are chopsticks that are stowed away in a small pouch attached to the side, and when it's time to eat, you assemble them like collapsed pool cues. It's just that rice and miso soup won't be on that menu. Yeah, this garment makes us hungry in a strange sort of way. [Pink Tentacle]

Bra, It's What's for Dinner

Mark Wilson — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 10:17:45 EST

The My Chopsticks Bra is yet another triumph of ~~Japanese~~ German novelty underwear company (aptly named) Triumph International. In accordance with the Japanese dining table theme, the right cup is reserved for rice while the left is for miso soup. Neither food is real, of course, lest hungry perverts descend from all directions, induce chest blisters and kill everyone's appetite.

A pair of collapsible chopsticks fit somewhere in between it all, almost making this bra the quintessential, patriarchal gadget of Jane Bond. But next time, we'd like to see KFC get involved for the kind of heart-stopping double entendre you can only get in America. [mainichidailynews via tokyotimes]

Japanese Bra Also Carries Your Melons

Louis Ramirez — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 11:27:16 EST

We've seen all sorts of bras before, but this is the first we've come across that helps save the environment. Dubbed the No! Shopping Bag Bra, this lacy red undergarment has padded cups that when removed, transform into shopping bags that can be used to carry around your groceries, laundry, or other purchases and reduce the consumption of plastic bags in the process. We're not sure those lacy strings would be able to hold much, so ladies, you may want to carry around an extra bra just in case. But if you're interested, the bra is made by lingerie company Triumph Japan. Click through for a look at the bra in action.

– Louis Ramirez
No! Shopping Bag Bra! (Japanese link) [via Shiny-Shiny]

Numetrex Heart Monitoring Sports Bra

Travis Hudson — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 13:11:56 EST

The gateway to a woman's heart is through her bra, correct? Yes, very correct, and now we have proof. Introducing Numetrex's high-tech sports bra. Rather than having some ugly, gaudy heart sensor attached to your body somewhere, this one features an integrated sensor right in the bra fabric. The information picked up by the bra is then relayed to a watch so you can keep track of what exactly is going on underneath those lovely lady lumps. All together, bra, transmitter and watch will run you ladies (or well-endowed men) $155.

Numetrex Heart Sensing Sports Bra [Ubergizmo]

Evian Water Bra

Travis Hudson — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 10:30:04 EDT

There is something about this new product that I can t seem to look away from. It is a bra/bikini top manufactured by Evian. Yes, that Evian, maker of all things watery. This support top contains a pocket to hold water, preferably Evian mineral water. The water cools the breasts to prevent the deadly disease known as "sweaty breastitis." The AMA has not found sweaty breastitis to necessarily be a bad thing though.

New bikini is chest great [Sun Online]