Gizmodo: burgers

USB Heated Burger Massager Cures Its Own Induced Stomach Ache

Mark Wilson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:40:00 EST

I prefer a rub down with the real thing, myself, but this $12 plastic USB burger massager, with heat, will have to do until my next quarter cow is delivered. From Brando, natch. [Brando]

Calf Gets Prosthetic Limbs, Presumably So it Can Spend a Few Months Getting More Delicious

Adam Frucci — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:40:00 EST

Nancy Dickenson and her stepdaughter Martha found a calf with severe frostbite on its hind legs. So of course, they spent thousands of dollars getting it outfitted with prosthetic legs.

The black angus heifer was bought from the neighboring ranch they found it on, and operated on by vets and students at Colorado State University.

It's a sweet story and all, but does this seem a wee bit misguided to anyone else? Thousands of dollars to save a cow that was halfway to burgertown? If you want to help out animals, you could spend that money in a way that would save many animals instead of just one. But hey, it does look pretty adorable! [wtop via Neatorama]

How to Order at McDonald's Without Killing Your Body

Adam Frucci — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 23:00:00 EDT

McDonald's: not a place you should eat if you are trying to be healthy. But if you must eat there, there are definitely some better choices on the menu than others.

Lifehacker put together a great guide showing just what foods aren't so bad and what should be avoided at all costs. The good news is that good ol' Chicken McNuggets aren't so bad, providing 280 calories in a 6 piece box. And a hamburger has only 250 calories if you can stand eating it without cheese.

The bad news? A large Triple Thick Chocolate Shake has 1160 calories, 27 grams of fat, 168 grams of sugar and 510mg of sodium, which is just fucking insane. Seriously, if you want to cut a decade or two off your life, drink one of these every day. And a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese ain't much better.

Hit Lifehacker for the full list and all the details, but here's the one rule I always remember when I'm considering a McDonald's menu: don't eat at McDonald's. [Lifehacker]

Taste Test is our weeklong tribute to the leaps that occur when technology meets cuisine, spanning everything from the historic breakthroughs that made food tastier and safer to the Earl-Grey-friendly replicators we impatiently await in the future.

If This Cheeseburger Were Sold in a Can, I'd Buy a Pallet of Them

Adam Frucci — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:40:00 EDT

Look, the original Cheeseburger in a Can was super gross. But if it was possible to put the epic Shack Stack in a can? I would eat it every single day.

Unfamiliar with the Shack Stack? It's only sold in NYC at the famous Shake Shack, otherwise known as the best burger joint in the country. The normal Shackburger is the epitome of fast-food-style burgers: absolute burger perfection. But for those seeking a more gluttonous option, there's the Shack Stack.

The Shack Stack takes the Shackburger, then adds a second patty. In between these two burger patties, it slaps a cheese-stuffed, deep-fried portobello mushroom cap. Oh sweet mother of god, is it good. Because Shake Shack isn't a big chain, there's no nutritional info available for this thing, which is probably for the best. I can't imagine it's less than 1800 calories. But man, is it worth it.

So yeah, I guess maybe in the end it's good that they don't sell these in cans. Because if eating one didn't require waiting in the ever-present line at Shake Shack, I might end up eating one every day. And I would die within six months. But I'd die happy. [Shake Shack photos via A Hamburger Today]

Oh, and for comparison's sake, here's a picture of the cheeseburger in a can:

Cheeseburger Vacuum Sucks Up Desktop Dirt, Crumbs, Your Dignity

Jack Loftus — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 14:00:00 EST

A cheeseburger-shaped mini-vacuum for your dirty desktop? Sure, why the hell not?

If you seriously can't stop salivating over this thing, it's $20 at FredFlare. [FredFlare via technabob]

Brando's Chicken, Pork, Pizza and Watermelon USB Drives Are Phenomenally Delicious

Jason Chen — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:40:00 EDT

It's been a while since Solid Alliance charmed us with their food-shaped USB drives, but Brando's shot back with edible-looking disks of their own. At our count, there's chicken, hot wings, a slab of pork, a pizza slice, a burger, a watermelon slice, a strawberry, cookies and biscuits—all lifelike enough that your kid would accidentally put it in his mouth. Best of all, these hold 4GB worth of junk and cost only $28. Has anyone made a bacon USB drive yet? Huge gallery after the jump.

[Pizza]
[Meat]
[Fruit]
[Cookies]

Did the Infamous Canburger Start Out as an Art Project?

Adam Frucci — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:40:05 EST

Does art imitate life or does life imitate art? That's one of many, many questions that arose in my mind when I saw this art exhibit in France that's made up of 10,000 "Canburgers." And no, these aren't just purchased from the place we found the originals in, they were specially commissioned by the artist, Mike Bouchet. And it just went up a month ago. What. The. Hell. Let's unravel this mystery, super sleuths.

I think there's got to be some connection between this exhibit and the for-sale canburgers, as the exhibit says that Bouchet contacted a meat-canning company in Germany to develop the product for him, and the original canburger is sold from a German site. Could it be that the canburger was initially dreamt up as some sort of commentary on sustainable food but was deemed to be such a swell idea that the German company just ran with it?

That would explain why such a ridiculous item was unceremoniously placed up for sale on an otherwise-straightforward camping food site, wouldn't it? I mean, once they figured out how to make such a product for the artist, why wouldn't they offer it up for sale?

Or maybe two different people came up with the idea for a cheeseburger in a can at the same time. Either way. [Galerie Vallois]

Test Tube Burgers by 2009?

Charlie White — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 12:11:32 EDT

A team of researchers hope to create lab-grown meat by 2009 that smells and tastes just like the real thing. The ability to grow small quantities of muscle using stem cells is routinely done by scientists, but now they're looking to bring mass quantities of synthetic meat to supermarkets. One of those researchers, Paul Kosnik, is growing self-assembled muscle in the lab:

"All of the technology exists today to make ground meat products in vitro. We believe the goal of a processed meat product is attainable in the next five years if funding is available and the R&D is pursued aggressively."

The researchers say the first artificial meat products will be minced meat that tastes just like ground beef or sausage. They're also saying that a single stem cell could theoretically produce all of the meat consumed in the world for a year.

It's going to be a challenge to create just the right mixture of muscle and fat to give burgers that juicy, yummy taste. If this test tube meat can be mass produced, it will be a great boon to our non-sustainable meat-eating culture. Oh yeah, and they also will need to convince people to eat it. – Charlie White

Test Tube Meat Nears Dinner Table [Wired News]