Gizmodo: Butt

7 Prisoners Have Surgery To Remove Cellphones Stuck "Up There"

Mark Wilson — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:43:00 EDT

37 prisoners in a Pakistan jail were caught hiding cellphones inside their bodies—presumably their rectums. And for 30 of said prisoners, life continued as normal once the phones were removed. But for an unlucky 7, those stuffing themselves with smartphones, nature couldn't take its course. So they underwent surgery.

Upon discharge (the prisoners from the hospital, not the cellphones from the butts), the prisoners will be moved to special punishment cells for their actions. And it just goes to show, while push email sure is nice and Wi-Fi browsing can come in handy, it's all no replacement for a good sit. [dialaphone]

Criminal Voyeur Hides Cellphone Up Butt To Escape From Cops

Jason Chen — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:50:00 EDT

BoingBoing found this story of a cellphone camera voyeur trying to snap pics of a naked gal at a tanning salon before someone called the cops on him. This wouldn't be interesting at all except for the fact that when the cops came, the guy kept denying that he did anything until the cops searched him twice and found a cellphone jammed up his rectum. Did the cops confiscate his phone? Did they force him to delete those pics? How many megapixels was the cameraphone? The Smoking Gun coming up short on this one. [Smoking Gun via Boing Boing]

Butt Butt Water Butt Is Buttugly Rain Tank for Treehugging Buttburglars

Jesus Diaz — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:10:00 EDT

The Butt Butt, a rain-collecting 56-gallon water tank with a tap up its crack brings to us all the wrong (tubgirl) images, which makes it even worse than the alien sex doll, the mechanical singing urinal, and Spongebob's butt thermometer, although perhaps not as wrong as the Jesuswitch. "Buyer" Camilla Kaylee gives it five stars, however, saying that she has had "nothing but compliments from everyone who has seen it," so we are going to ignore our interior decorator instinct and spend the $180 for one at once. [Evengreener via Nerd Approved]

DIY Laser Security System Will Entrap Any Burglar Except Catherine Zeta Jones' Ass

Jesus Diaz — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:40:46 EST

What do you do when you have a few transistors, some capacitors, a lot of mirrors, a bunch of HandiTak and one laser? If you are McGyver, probably a intercontinental ballistic missile interceptor. If you are Kipkay, you'll do a laser-based home alarm system similar to the one used in Entrapment, the movie. And if this wasn't a good enough excuse to post the picture above, you can jump to see the video on how it is all done.

All this is great, but what the heck is El Zorro doing with a Maglite? And does the inventor have a side-job as voice-over actor for QVC? These are the questions that bug me about this whole thing, but Catherine makes up for all of them. [Instructables]

Holiday Office Party Tip: Don't Break The Copy Machine With Your Ass

Noah R — Fri, 25 Nov 2005 13:30:42 EST

Ho, ho, it's lock-step corporate fun and binge drinking time again. Gizmodo wants you to enjoy your company's annual excuse to watch your colleagues make asses of themselves responsibly. Our advice this year? Don't sit on the copy machine. At least if you are in the UK, where 32 percent of Canon technicians say they have been called to fix glass plates during the Christmas period for non-work-related cracks.

Geoff Bush from the north of England said one case he'd attended, where a young lady had cracked the glass mid-scan, also jammed the scanner so that it wasn't until the machine was fixed and her colleagues all sober that copies of her backside starting pouring from the machine.

Thank you CNET for that apocryphal tale, and giving us a reason to think about ass the day after Thanksgiving. Special commendation for the lurid headline—"Confessions of a photocopier repairman")—too bad the article has just two examples in it.

Confessions of a photocopier repairman