In the movie Bad Johnson, Cam Gigandet is at the utter mercy of his dick — imagine his surprise when he manages to wish it away. And then his penis turns into a separate person. There are so many things wrong with this, we can't even.
After years of warfare between humans and vampires, who thought a ceasefire was a good idea? That was our biggest question after watching footage from Priest. Instead of finishing off the vampires, the humans have put the vamps into reservations.
Future cities, motorcycles, brothers, CG monsters, CG vampires, cowboy vampires, Emperor-esque priests, forehead burns, brothers on their deathbeds, crucifix ninja weapons, lady warriors, train jumping — gasp! Everything you've ever wanted from a monster vampire motorcycle movie is in Priest.
Paul Bettany will convert you to the worship of smouldering crucifix-faced angst, vampire-hunting explosions and six-pack abs, judging from the latest trailer for next summer's Priest. If you played a spot-the-cliche drinking game on this trailer, you'd pass out. Spoilers!