Today, CeBIT 2007 closes its doors for another year. And so, as the exhibitors pack up their electric lederhosen, telepathic computers, and Wi-Fi trouser presses and roll onto the next trade fair, we salute the unspoken heroines of the week-long gadgetstravaganza. Yes, the booth laydeez.

Normally Giz's resident laydeeologists, erudite, intellectual types such as Charlie, Jason, or Louis, give their views on these hostesses with the mostess, but they don't seem to be around (I did shout "Wakey Wakey, Hands Off Snakey" into the Gizmodo lair but my words echoed eerily around the office). So this time your laydee commentary is going to be done by someone who knows about them better than anyone else on the team—Ad—and that's because I am one.

So you can forget about any "Look at the peripherals on that"-style comments, and instead concentrate on the whole package. There's a gallery there for those of you who lost the power of speech when you fixated on the four laydeez above, and if anyone else wants to join me after the jump, I'm the one in the tangerine leisurewear and turquoise eyeshadow.

We've done the Good (four of them, actually), so let's tackle the Bad. Now then, girl on the left, you are Not Bad. Don't get me wrong, you are Good. I like the way you mix business with pleasure. The top-half combo of orange neckerchief and round-necked jersey says, "I am businesslike, I have been fully briefed on the product that I am selling, although personally I prefer Sony Ericsson, I am an IT student at Leipzig University, I am just doing this to pay the bills and no, you can't have my telephone number" —while the bottom half shrieks (in a dignified, New Germany kind of way, you understand) a completely different message.

Shall I translate it for you? "Hello, techie journalist," it is saying. "Yes, you can come and pretend to talk to me about Nokia whilst admiring the endless trajectory of my slightly-tanned-but-not-too-much-as-I-don't-want-them-to-match-my-skirt legs. But that, sir is totally out of the question." She's a good booth babe, despite the fact that her expression is less come-hither but more go-fuck-yourself. Well, after six days of techie journalists, wouldn't you?

I like her, it's her two friends I'm not so sure about. Yep, the two dressed up as nylon policemen, who look like they have been out on the lash all night, the last two girls from the bachelorette party who got lost on their way to the airport and have been trawling around Hanover for the past three weeks trying to raise enough money to get another flight home and are really pissed because they missed spring break and German guys are no fun at all and, Candice, you're not listening to me, just stop staring at the journalist, you can't think he's hot, oh, you think he can help us get back to Cincinnati before my mom finds out that I stole her nylon jumpsuit with the open crotch that she wears whenever she gets to the second date?

I know that there is something about chicks in uniform that guys dig. I accept that (I must admit, I get warm and nostalgic just thinking about Rosa Klebb and her spiked shoes in From Russia With Love), but there are ways of doing it. Just see the gallery—bare tummies and expressions that scream, "Ooh, you have been a naughty boy and I am going to have to arrest you and take down your particulars." But a smelly all-in-one boilersuit is just wrong.

And finally, to the Ugly. Oh Memory Corp, what were you thinking? That a smorgasbord of nipples, leg warmers, heinous sewing box-cum-handbag, full-body Hammer House Of Horror makeup, pastel pink aerobics trainers, Louis XV wig and motorbike parked in the background will bring people running to your stand? I suppose it depends where the stand is. I mean, if you were exhibiting in a high-security loony bin then yes, you would have a stampede.

And another thing. With a creature like that fronting your product, you'd better be selling something that wipes memory. Completely, or the CeBit hacks will be complaining of recurring nighmares in which a French Fop made from Cotton Candy tries to run them down on his motorbike to the sounds of Olivia Newton John's (Let's Get) Physical. And you do not, my friends, want your product associated with that. – Ad Dugdale

CeBit 2007 Girls [TechPowerUp!]

Hello, I am a PC. Really, I am. I mean, if I were a Mac, I would probably be a New York cheesecake. With a T-shirt. Or a black turtleneck. Actually, this... thing is one of the entries for the PC case-mod contest celebrated at the World Cyber Games event, in CeBIT 2007.

Weird stuff there, from the "Twins" (two computers that glow in colors thanks to cycling LEDs) to the "Blockenblick" (a retrofitted old tube TV which seems to also have a built-in DVD). There's also a Bosch refrigerator and your usual military gear. My favorite is the one made out of a Netzregler power converter, but check the galleries for the rest of the entries and pick yours in the comments. Even if only to burn it before the others. – Jesus Diaz

Case contest - CeBIT meeting place (in japanese) [PC Watch Japan]

Forget about that Apple "multi-touch" Finger-print-magnet™ mega-platform crap and welcome the touch screen that actually doesn't even need to be touched.

With this display, complete with Front Row style interface, you can manipulate things from a distance of six inches, which opens the door to all kinds of exciting possibilities. You know, manipulate things on-screen without touching it with your hands? At all? Come on. Hello? Ah, well, whatever. Sadly, no details on price or manufacturer yet, but you'll save a ton on glass-cleaning products. Or maybe not. – Jesus Diaz

La pantalla táctil que no hace falta tocar [CeBIT 2007 at VNUnet]

How do you like the idea of a phone with an extra external battery, which will give you extra juice by connecting it to the USB? I think these are aimed at teen girls who, as we know, love to talk INTERMINABLY (unlike teen boys, whose adolescent years are frequently punctuated by grunts). Also, only teen girls would bother customizing their batteries with pink fake fur and glitter. Boys would just scratch "World, I HATE you" on theirs.

The final concept, below, is a mobile with a detachable Bluetooth headset, although I originally thought it was a space-age biro. Even if you just use the headset you can still connect to your address book or any data stored in the phone which, in my book, makes it smart. And you can use the space-age biro thingy to track your phone interactively via Bluetooth.

– Ad Dugdale

Chinese Concept Phones Revealed In CeBit [Coolest Gadgets]

Later this year, Samsung will release 8- and 12-inch version of their new 800 x 480 pixel 7" photo frames. They don't only look like the lost son of an old Apple Cinema Display, but they are also Wi-Fi enabled and will automagically search for PCs with Vista, displaying photos, movies and MP3s stored on the PC via Windows Media Player 11. And images from the Internet, via RSS.

All photo frames come with a 4-in-1 memory card reader and a USB port for cameras and portable storage devices. At $305 for 7", I won't risk a divorce pointing it to the wrong image feed, but you can also try the non-Wi-Fi one, the SPH-72H, for $238. – Jesus Diaz

New, Larger Samsung SPH-72P and SPH-72H Digital Photo Frames debut [Techshout]
Samsung dévoile deux cadres : le SPH-72H et le SPH-72V [GenerationMP3]

UPDATE: apparently, there was a mistake in the original report and these frames don't support MP3 or movie playback. Too bad, really.

We all knew Beyoncé was fronting Samsung's Ultra Phone, and we all guessed that the dual-screen cell would probably come in red, white, and black (we were so thankful they nixed it in pink), but did we have a clue that it would come in juicy orange and fabulous electric blue? Nope, we'll freely admit that we didn't see that coming and we LOVE it. And yes, we are that shallow. – Ad Dugdale

Samung's Flagship Model Handset Ultra Music Phone [Aving News] via Ultra Music Phone in Colours [Techie Diva]

Digital Cube says that their i-Station G43 is the smallest UMPC available, and the - apparently - french guy doing the interview not only believes them, but he seems to be wetting his pants with the excitement of it all in this video. I don't know if I would be excited about the prospect of running Windows XP on a AMD Geode LX800 processor with 256MB of RAM, but hey, whatever rocks your world.

In any case, this UMPC runs a full Windows on its 4.3 inch 800-pixel wide screen, and comes with up to 60 GBytes hard drive, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and a USB Host port. All for only $700, including the XP license, which Digital Cube says you can then trash and install Linux. – Jesus Diaz

Digital Cube G43 [Cebitvideo]

Apparently Sony and its cohorts are certain that they will own the market in just three years. At least, this is what Frank Simonis, the Blu-ray Disc Association's European chairman, has said today at CeBIT:

"Within three years it will just be Blu-ray"

Frank is not only talking about beating HD DVD, but also replacing DVD entirely. In three years. Thanks to "a plan", which includes the amazing success of the PS3. Apparently, they are doing stand-up comedy mornings in Hanover and we are, like, totally missing them. – Jesus Diaz

CeBIT 2007: Blu-ray Association has three-year plan to replace DVDs [IT Pro]

You know you are in for a boring friday morning when you have to start a post with a PowerPoint slide. The news, however, is that ATI has announced at CeBIT'07 that they will include a HD Audio controller in their next video card generation, the RV6xx.

The cards will be able to pass digital audio straight to their HDMI port, doing all the audio processing themselves and without using a S/PDIF passthrough cable connected to the motherboard or a sound card. And the good news is that their solution appears to be compatible with every PC, so digital home theater aficionados, rejoice. Oh, the excitement. OK, now, can we just fast forward the day and get straight to the margarita cocktails and some dancing tonight? Thanks. – Jesus Diaz

CeBIT 2007 - AMD reveal RV6xx is a sound card too [Beyond3D]

Hit up the gallery below for a few more views of these speakers that look realistic enough to have some tiny bad guys inside, but looks aren't everything—let's hope they sound good enough so we won't want to immediately shoot them down. Jump for more about these speakers and other Star Wars products from Nikko.

We've seen products from Nikko Home Electronics before, namely its Motion Speaker with its kooky disco lighting and motion-sensitive volume control.

Nikko is no stranger to Star Wars gear, either, introducing its R2D2 Skype Webcam and the R2D2 DVD Projector at CES in January.

These TIE Fighter speakers are just out of the prototype stage, and will be rolled out at CeBIT, the big consumer electronics confab in Hannover, Germany that starts tomorrow. – Charlie White

Manufacturer's Site [Question Mark Entertainment]

CeBIT'07 new product avalanche is about to hit us like a hundred walkyries brandishing bratwursts, cellphones dipped in sauerkraut and RAM modules like the new Corsair XMS2 Dominator. This 2 Gbytes DDR2 module is now available in PC2-9136 and PC2-10000 speeds and they come with more acronyms than a NASA launch checklist: they have DHX (Dual-path Heat Xchange) with a dedicated heatsink for the PCB (printed circuit board). On top of that, they are NVIDIA SLI ready and feature EPP (Enhanced Performance Profiles), which enhances SPD (Serial Presence Detect) and apparently is great for over-clocking. OK, Corsair. WE (whatever). I'll be waiting for the gold version myself. I don't care about overclocking, I just want the bling-bling. – Jesus Diaz

Product page [Corsair]