As the story goes, the television in the ward mysteriously turned off when the patient turned over in bed, shortly before x-rays revealed that his friends had crammed a remote up his butt while he was passed out.

"We didn't know what it was to start with. There was a little bit of blood but he didn't say anything about a remote control. We couldn't quite believe it when we saw the X-ray," said medic Dr Wei Lung Zhi.

"He will be fine in time but the remote was a write off," he added.

Yeah, that whole thing with the remote inside his bowels turning the TV off seems pretty suspect, but the message here is very real. Don't pass out around your asshole friends. As an added layer of security, I have a shirt you might be interested in. Or at least you would be interested in it if it were still being produced. [Mirror via Fark and Shirt via T-Shirt Hell]

Ring was deported from Japan twice: once in 2007 and again some time later after she slipped back into the country with her fake prints. Apparently, fingerprint altering procedures are becoming big business for shady doctors looking to make a quick buck. Japanese authorities claim that the practice is widespread in China, but if there is money to be made, I'm sure it is a problem all over the world.

In this case, prints from Ring's left hand were surgically implanted on her right—which makes me wonder why prints were not taken from both hands in the first place. Plus, the quality of the work suggests that $14,600 is a bargain basement, back alley price for surgery like this. Best to go top shelf when you're trying to do anything illegal. [BBC via The Register via PopSci]

Dubbed the GreenOpolis, the pavilion was designed by SC M&C Strategy Development, and will cover about 21,527 square feet of space. The 5 levels will include music and cultural performance areas, plus restaurant, terrace, and office facilities.

Seriously, if the 2010 World Expo wasn't in China, I'd head over with the sole purpose of dropping acid or something. The event kicks off on May 1st next year. Oh, and next cab off the rank is South Korea. Here's the first taste at what they've got planned for World Expo 2012. [GreenOpolis via Arch Daily and China.org]

What will they be selling? Oh, you know, Apple products such as the iPhone, iPod and iMac as well as stuff such as the Playstation 3, Vaio notebooks, the Kindle, Nokia phones and the Wii.

Apparently, Foxconn will use the huge retail presence in China to get even more manufacturing business. Get your gear made by Foxconn, the argument will go, and you'll automatically get a foothold in the Chinese retail market.

We'll see how it goes. Let's just hope Foxconn uses all this money they're making to treat their employees a bit better. [ChinaDaily via TechCrunch]

McLaughlin, a major supporter of net neutrality rules, made the comment in a telecom law conference last Thursday by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln law school. Reaction was swift from AT&T's chief lobbyist, Jim Cicconi:

"It is deeply disturbing when someone in a position of authority, like Mr. McLaughlin, is so intent on advancing his argument for regulation that he equates the outright censorship decisions of a communist government to the network congestion decisions of an American ISP. There is no valid comparison, and it's frankly an affront to suggest otherwise," Cicconi said.

Maybe so, but it's a slippery slope. At any rate, the bottom line is that ISPs are going to end up screwing us one way or another—either with some sort of tiered internet, or pricey data caps. [Washington Post]

Apple Patent Describes iPod UI "Pushed" to Other Devices

An Apple patent filed in May 2008 describes a way of pushing whatever UI Apple wants to non-Apple hardware, for consistency's sake. That non-Apple hardware could include car stereos or something like the Chumby One (which has iPod functionality, but with a lookalike UI). It's a nice idea for Apple, but could be tricky given the myriad different hardware that might want to take advantage. What if the hardware has a resistive touchscreen, or a shitty processor? Might it just be better to use a custom interface for iPod integration? Regardless, it's in Remainders because it's not really that unexpected or interesting in its implications. [MacRumors]

Philips Announces Very Pretty Pro LCD Line

Philips' new high-end LCD line looks pretty fantastic, with two important caveats. First, let's drool a little: The two models (40- and 46-inch) have a 5,000,000:1 contrast ratio, 1ms response time, 5 HDMI ports (not sure why you'd need that many, but whatever) and a 200Hz refresh rate, with a nice brushed-aluminum look. Now, the caveats. First, they're UK only, and second, they're prohibitively expensive at about $3,000 and $4,100, respectively. Still, drool-worthy. [Engadget]

NYTimes Columnist Proposes Boycott of "Pro-Communist China" Bing

NY Times columnist Nicholas Kristof has proposed a boycott of Microsoft's Bing search engine due to its supposed pro-Chinese-government censorship of search terms like "Dalai Lama" and "Tienanmen" when searched in simplified Chinese characters. In English and other non-Chinese languages, the results you'd expect from "Tienanmen" show up, but in Chinese, apparently it returns sanitized results (no massacre, in that case). Since I'm not really sure how to type simplified Chinese characters on an all-Amurrican MacBook Pro keyboard, I haven't tested it myself—but if true, it's a little underhanded on Microsoft's part, although certainly paling in comparison to, you know, the Chinese government. What's odd is that Google's Chinese search also returns censored results, but "to a much lesser extent," so I guess it's okay. Weird stuff. [TechFlash]

Ooma Adds New Handsets and International Plan

Internet phone company Ooma began shipping its new Telo handset as well as offering a very cheap international calling plan (500 minutes for $5 per month). Ooma, for those who don't know (I assume this includes everyone) varies from other VoIP services like Vonage by cutting out the monthly fees, instead packing them into a fairly expensive set-top box, at $250. So this international plan requiring a monthly fee is a big deal for them, but it winds up in Remainders because I honestly had not even heard of Ooma until this morning. Oops. [Electronista]

According to Zhongyi Electronics, Microsoft "only paid to use [their] software for its Windows 95 system." They say that the two fonts weren't even covered in the agreement to begin with. Yikes. Microsoft is appealing the court's decision by claiming that the fonts were in fact covered by the agreement and that there was "legitimate right" to use them. [Obama Pacman]

It features an internal sound amplifier, a 3.5mm jack for headphones and a USB port for recharging. Nice, but if you really want to take this whole scumbaggy espionage thing to another level, you go with the SIM card spy ear. [Chinagrabber via 7Gadgets via OhGizmo]

The can also has a wireless remote, rechargeable battery and a false bottom that hides a USB port and the on/off switch. It looks pretty convincing, but I'm less impressed by the '80s-looking version of Coke "Clossic". [ChinaGrabber via Technabob via DVICE]

Google claims their site automatically removed the search listing because of perceived malware threats, and had nothing to do with what People's Daily actually published. People's daily though feels as though they were the victim of an unfair attack, calling the event "malicious."

Pot. Kettle. Black. [The Register]

Above is the Dark Sword, the Chinese military's newest drone. Not only does it look a lot cooler than any American model, it's apparently much more maneuverable and highly capable in air-to-air combat. This is on top of the Chinese having carbon copies of the Predator and Global Hawk UAVs ready to go in their arsenal.

Not to mention the names are much more awesome. How cool is the phrase "Dark Sword?" Or better yet, "Sour Dragon?" Seriously. [DefPro via Wired via PopSci]

Of course, even the miniest of mini camcorders cannot be crammed into the shell of an existing shuffle, so Xiangyun Industry Co did the sensible thing and sacrificed the music player to focus on transforming the device into a spy camera. Features include a 1.3 megapixel sensor with VGA resolution and the ability to capture 1,280 x 960 still photos. Not bad for $15-$30, but you are going to need to outfit an entire spy ring if you want to get your hands on one. Orders are only taken in bulk with a 100 unit minimum. [Global Sources via Red Ferret]

That intricate mess of lines above represents a portion of DormRing1, the click fraud bunch that was caught in China. The lines show the relationship of some of the IP addresses involved in the fraud and how they are connected to some fraudulent ad clicks. The whole network actually "involved 200,000 different IP addresses and racked up more than $3 million worth of fraudulent clicks across 2,000 advertisers in a two-week period." Impressive and scary at the same time.

The trouble is that no one really knows how much ad revenue DormRing1 collected before they were caught. Click-fraud monitoring services such as Anchor Intelligence, the ones behind this catch, are evolving to keep up with the scale on which these rings are operating. It's still difficult to judge just how well they're doing as they're having to infiltrate forums and gain the trust of the perpetrators in a manner reminiscent of drug busts. But as the criminals are getting more elaborate, the investigations are too.

That good news aside, do me a favor: after you read this post, comment, and all that jazz, refresh the page a few times and—Ah...I mean, heh...just kidding. [Tech Crunch]

Above you can see a humble man trying to get a clear signal in an crappy TV. Below you can see the contrast, the results of their industrial prowess: A TV shop—in which most of the country's population can't buy anything—and the mall, with a massive LCD display showing the parade itself.

Check out the Big Picture's graphic summary. It's impressive and scary at the same time. [Big Picture]

The Chinese said the resolution of their 3D map—made with their Chang'e-1 probe, sent in October 2007—is 500 meters. Obviously, there has to be an error somewhere, because JAXA's own 3D map's resolution is 10 meters. Not to talk about NASA's LRO, which is 3 meters. In all fairness, the NASA map is not completed yet, but the Japanese one is.

I think that maybe the Chinese are hitting the rice liquor too hard again, either their space agency or their news agency. Still, the map they claim they have completed is a step towards their objective to land people in the Moon in a decade. If they ever get to launch anyone to space, that's it.

[Xinhuanet]

It's an anti-explosive container, placed in a subway station in Beijing. As China prepares for its 60th Anniversary—proclaimed on October 1 1949—authorities are tightening security against terrorist attacks even more. Because we all know that terrorists leave packages marked as "bomb" ready to be put into a bomb trashcan. [Boston]

Apparently, US government officials have been advising frequent business travelers to keep separate electronics for use in China that they only use there. This includes computers and cellphones. And if you used your normal phone over there, it may be time to toss it.

It's all about corporate espionage, as one bugged phone or computer in the hands of a powerful exec could end up costing millions of dollars if info falls into the wrong hands.

It's both totally nuts and completely sensible at the same time. This is the age we live in, friends. [Geek.com]

Meanwhile, I just created charcoal while trying to make a bagel.

The rig cost Tao 30,000 yuan ($4,385) and two years to build, and includes a periscope and depth control tank. No mention of a sonar system, but knowing the Chinese farmers these days that DIY achievement has to be just a matter of time. [China Daily via Gizmo Watch via DVICE]