Gizmodo: chuck norris

Apple Now Rejects iPhone Apps Because They "Ridicule Public Figures"

Jason Chen — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:00:00 EDT

Reader spectralogue tells us that this Chuck Norris joke generator app was just rejected by Apple because it "ridicules public figures." Wait, what?

The Apple submission feedback person says that it violates Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK Agreement, specifically where it says:

Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, etc.), or other content or materials that in Apple's reasonable judgement may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod touch users.

We wouldn't say randomly displaying statements about Chuck Norris, which have been all over the net for half a decade now, qualifies as "defamatory content." But then again, we're not on the approval committee for Apple. Nor, are we fans of Chuck Norris jokes. Our parents might still be though, so who is Apple to deprive our parents of corny joke enjoyment?

Happy 69th Birthday Chuck Norris

Christopher Mascari — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:20:33 EDT

Our beloved Chuck Norris who you might know as the karate fighting, cowboy hat wearing, roundhouse kicking, orange hairing and all around bad ass mother is 69 today! On behalf of everyone at Giz, happy birthday. Here's a clip as to why he'll NEVER use a computer watch. Ever!

iPhone Shoulder Holster Is Chuck Norris' Favorite Fashion Accessory

Jesus Diaz — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 09:30:00 EST

Apparently created for police detectives, construction workers, or anyone with zero sense of fashion and/or shame, the e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster is just that: A shoulder holster which, according to the manufacturer, "is designed to evolve and adapt to the reality of constant state of change in personal electronics by enabling you to wear your present and future gadgets". Yes, it does all that. It has been engineered to "access your gadgets quickly," like if your iPhone was Chuck Norris' revolver. But make no fun of this, because this thing does it all:

The e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster is designed with a large quick-access pocket that securely fits most smartphone devices (such as a Apple iPhone, Blackberry, Palm Treo or other smartphone device), compact digital cameras (such as Canon Powershot, Panasonic Lumix, Sony Cybershot, Fuji Finepix, Olympus Stylus and others), larger digital music players (such as Apple iTouch or iPod Classic and Microsoft Zune 80 or Zune 120), Sony Playstation Portable, Nintendo DS portable, and most standard sized men's wallets.
The small quick-access pouch will fit most small cell phones, small digital music players (such as Apple iPod Nano, Microsoft Zune 4, Zune 8 & Zune 16), digital voice recorders and other small personal electronic gadgets.

On top of those unique pocketing features, you can also "control loose pocket items" thanks to a "unique zippered pouch to quickly store and control change, currency, memory cards, zip drives, sunglasses, reading glasses, and much more". And that's good, because you have to control those loose pocket items. Don't let them go wild. [eholster via Ubergizmo]

Buy this Camera or Chuck Norris Will Beat Up Your Family

Adam Frucci — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:00:00 EDT

What do you do when you want to show that your phone is tough? If you're Rollei, you put a picture of Chuck Norris on the front. That's right, a camera with Chuck Norris in fighting stance on the front. One of the features of this camera is that instead of smiling, all of your subjects will have looks of fear and intimidation on their faces. [TechFever via The Raw Feed]

China Anti-Terrorist Plan Includes Flamethrowers, Segways, Chuck Norris Clones

Jesus Diaz — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Great Wall 5 is the codename for China's Summer Olympics anti-terrorist operations. They say they will use "police forces, the People's Armed Police, the People's Liberation Army and the health, environmental protection, meteorology and transportation departments," but I can also see flamethrowers, SWATs on Segways, anti-aircraft missiles, emergency response teams with sawing machines, and thousands of cloned Chuck Norris.

Yes, cloned Chuck Norris. Quite frankly, more than antiterrorists, they seem to be training to beat the pants out of a whole lot of demonstrators. [Boston Globe]