Civilization Revolution: Real-time strategy doesn't really suit the iPhone—it can be a little frantic, and controls aren't perfect. So how about an iPhone adaptation of one of the greatest turn-based strategy games of all time? $10 is right at the acceptable ceiling for non-professional iPhone apps, but this is real, true-to-form Sid Meier stuff, right here.

Duke Nukem 3D: Oh, by the way, everyone who likes strategy games is a nerd, right guys? Because real men play DUKE NUKEM', with the boobs, and the cursing! This is a fairly direct port of the classic game, but with crappier—though not terrible, for the iPhone—controls, and sadly, no iPod Touch 1G compatibility. Three dollars for a reasonably long, surprisingly playable game.

eBay: eBay has updated their app to support two pretty awesome things: Push notifications, to tell you when you've been bidsniped, because that's pretty much all that shopping on eBay is about nowadays, and PayPal payment support, so you don't have to log onto a PC every time you want to seal a deal. Still free, OBO. (via)

reMail 2: iPhone mail search is fine. reMail iPhone mail search is actually good, if it works for you. Two things: there's no Exchange support (sorry suits!), and there's only support for one account at a time. But within that one IMAP or POP account, reMail archives all your message text as far back as you want, letting you search full text—not just subjects—without a network connection. The five dollar price is a little shameful, though.

Pastie: Lets you make a list of preset text snippets that you can quickly send as emails or texts, rather than having to type out a unique message. It's a timesaver if you're the kind of person who responds to everything instantly and succinctly, or if you just like having a large clipboard on your phone, but beware: it doesn't work on iPod Touches, at all. (via)

My Gay Agenda: Are you gay? Do you have a well-formed sense of irony? Would you like to spend three dollars to make everyone is totally aware of these two facts? Great! Though in all seriousness, this faux-pernicious calendar/to-do list is pretty funny, and a portion of the proceeds go to charity.

This Week's App News on Giz:

• Qik Video Sharing Application Now Available for iPhone 3GS

• iPhone App Developer Uses Fake Tablet Video to Promote their Crappy Game

• The 10 Most Expensive iPhone Apps

• Apple's Phil Schiller Continues Quelling Faithful's App Store Unrest With Polite Letters

• Sex Offender Locator Back in the App Store For Some Reason

• CourseSmart Dumps 7,000+ Textbooks Into the iPhone App Store

This list is in no way definitive. If you've spotted a great app that hit the store this week, give us a heads up or, better yet, your firsthand impressions in the comments. And for even more apps: see our previous weekly roundups here, and check out our Favorite iPhone Apps Directory and our original iPhone App Review Marathon. Have a swell weekend everybody.

I had to watch his dementedly baroque video—which is featured at The Standard Hotel, New York—a few times to get all the details. In the process, I got scared but aroused at the same time. Strangely enough, now I want pizza.

Pizza topped with tomato, cheese, little people, marshmallows, flames, and naked angels. [Motionographer via Dark Roasted Blend]

It's not exactly the newest of sentiments—British artist Hogarth depicted the good and bad side of 18th-Century London life with his cartoons Beer Street, all ruddy-cheeked prosperity, and Gin Lane, where booze-addled sots let their babies slip to their death, and all for another G&T— but it's a belief that's always good to hear. Find out Charlie's theory after the jump.

Here's the deal. Man has smelly goats (speak for yourself, mate, I'm more of a hyena girl myself). Leads peripatetic existence, following smelly goats from grassy tussock to grassy tussock. Man discovers barley. Yum Yum, Bitch can make me a barley bread and goat sandwich, he thinks. Six months of goat sandwiches pass. Man gets bored. Sees book on Amazon.com entitled Great Things To Do With Grain.

Aha, Brewski, he thinks. Man studies the chapter on beer, is slightly foxed when he discovers that he will have to stay put for six months while the barley ferments. Never mind, I'll just have to put up with goatburgers for the forseeable future, he ruminates. While this magic potion is brewing in its goatskins (an environmentally friendly by-product of the goatburger) he decides to set up shop in the nice goatskin tent that Bitch sewed when she wasn't tending to his every need.

Pretty soon he is joined by another man, somewhat fatter than himself (when he had eaten all his goats, Second Man availed himself of his woman.)
"Wasssuuuuuuup?" says Second Man. "Mind if I hang out with you for a while?"
"Sure," says First Man, checking on the replete goatskins.
"Watchoodoin?" says Second Man.
"See this?" says First Man, waving around Great Things To Do With Barley."It says I can make beer out of this. But in order to do this, I have to be static, or the barley won't ferment and then we won't be able to hang out while Bitch makes me my goat sarnies."
"Oh, okay," says Second Man. "I'll just hang out too, if that's okay with you."

So, when the beer is finally brewed, the men sit down and crack open their first tinny. Good GOD it is good. It is fabulous. It is tangy, refreshing, it trips off the tongue, and has these wonderful little bubbles in that speed the feeling of euphoria to the head. "Dang, I'm going to make me some more," says First Man. "Want to help?"

"Sure thing," says Second Man. "But I don't think we can do it alone. Let me get my iPhone. I can text my mates and they will find us easily thanks to Steve's use of Google Maps."

Before you can say, "Same again, Bitch," the valley is full of goatskin tents and fat men, gently burping and talking about last night's game, as all the womenfolk tend to their every need—goatburgers, fresh beer and blowjobs. In just a few years, the static community has grown, thanks to man's need for the amber nectar.

And it is not long before the goatskin tents lead to wooden dwellings, the wheel, to Y-Fronts, universities, fire trucks, Wal-Mart, newspapers, retractable washing lines, pr0n, fringed leather chaps, Charlton Heston, Debbie Gibson, the Flying V guitar, the Panama Canal, Janine's Dobly and the iPod. Let us give thanks to beer. – Ad Dugdale

Beer was responsible for Technology [The Inquirer]