The Coast Guard evacuated the crewman from a unnamed US Navy Los Angeles-class nuclear attack submarine. The submarine was cruising through an undisclosed location off the the coast of Washington, on September 29, 2009. They called the Coast Guard at 5:50PM, and the Jayhawk helicopter intercepted the submarine at 7:12PM, picking up the crewman, and moving him to the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, Oregon.

I'm talking on my Bluetooth
making deals and shit
no cords (?) are clashing
so my hands are free to knit.

Sold. [Obamapacman]

If you want to rap along to what these boys are calling "a Mac fanboy's anthem about Apple culture and products," here are the words:

(Shortayyy) Ahh shit!
Get your laptops ready, it's about to go down
Everybody on YouTube, watch the f***in screen
But stay on this muthaf***in page
We runnin this - let's go

I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Everybody look at me
Cause I'm clickin on a Mac
I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

I'm on a Mac, muthaf***a, take a look at me,
Straight iPhone'in hard, got the 3G
Bumpin iTunes, CoverFlow to be exact
You can't stop me muthaf***a, cause I'm on a Mac!
Eat a virus bro
I'm on a Mac Pro
We rockin 8 cores hard
Watch the screen go
I got my SuperDrive
And my mighty mice-es
I'm pluggin girls
You at work, pluggin in devices
I'm on a tandem fixie
And a 64-bit
Friends are jealous
Cause Parallels can run their sh*t
But this ain't P.C.,
this is real as it gets
I'm on a Mac, mutherf***er
don't you ever forget!
I'm on a Mac and,
it's runnin fast and,
I bought a neopreen green scuba sleve sham
I'm the king of the Jobs, on a Mac for real
If you're on a PC, then you're not C.E.O.

Get the f*** up, this Mac is real!
F*** a Zune, I'm on a Mac, motherf***a!
F*** right click, multi-touch, motherf***a!
I'm on iChat with my boys, motherf***a!
These turtlenecks ain't cheap, motherf***a!
Hey, y'all, now I'm an Apple whiz
I never need to learn what a driver is
Gonna say goodbye to all viruses
Like a Nano in pink, anything is possible!
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a Mac
It's like a streamlined good-for-you crack
Wozniiiaaaaak, look at me ooohhhh

I'm on a Mac, I'm on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

Yeah, this is almost amusing enough to make me want to order a muthaf****in Mac despite it not being the best time to shop for those. [Thanks, Peter!]

Here's the story as the videographer tells it:

Shocking driving condtions in Paignton on the busiest shopping day of the year. The car is barely moving but the hill makes stopping impossible and both people in the front of the car decide to jump out?????

The couple were warned by neighbours not to venture out that day and they were the only people to attempt to drive on that road. There were numerous pedestrians around who could barely walk on the black ice so a car really stood no chance.

Near the start of the video you can see a recovery truck. This had been stuck there, blocking the road for 3 hours and didn't move for another 2 hours after this incident.

The reason the video ends abruptly is because my wife and I raced downstairs to see if there were any injuries to the couple. Once I made it past the red cars in the right of the frame, it was clear that several people were seeing to the couple around where the car ended up.

Pretty obvious to see why many people are finding this so funny but believe me, not one person who witnessed this was laughing at the time. My wife and I felt physically sick, as did many others. Thankfully, the couple involved didn't suffer any serious injuries. More importantly, no pedestrians or children were hit by the abandoned car.

PLEASE, check your local roads before setting out on a journey. Listen to local radio, speak to neighbours and try to avoid being part of incidents like this.

Merry Xmas all!

Geeeeeenius. [Star Wars Blog]

If you're unfamiliar with the Ambilight technology, it's a backlight system in some Phillips televisions where the color of the screen is transmitted to LEDs behind the television set, so that the background lighting matches the color on the screen. Fans of the technology claim it reduces eyes strain and enhances the theater experience.

DIYer Fun3 wanted to recreate the effect on his television. His solution was to wire an Arduino to a series of LED strips and and control the color by a USB cable hooked up to his HTPC. Check out the video below to see it in action.

Check out his site for schematics, code, and a ton of tips and tricks for calibrating your LEDs to your home theater. If you've experimented with back lighting your home theater—color changing or otherwise—let's hear about it in the comments.

And if the answer is yes, do you sext—send naked pictures of yourself or receive them from other people—often? Or did you just sext once? Perhaps you prefer other remote sex practices, like video sex? Sex chat? Maybe classic phone sex? What about beeper sex?

Here's my answer: I started having phone sex when I was 16. Yes, my then-girlfriend-later-wife-laterer-ex-wife and I were very precocious, and we didn't have enough with sneaking to dark corners to do very naughty things in high school. Then we moved into email sex, then chat sex. Phone sex was my favorite, however, and I only tried video sex a couple of times, much later, when the technology was good enough (good as in "Macs with cameras built in and iChat AV"). The last time I tried video sex it definitely won over my phone sex experiences. Sext, on the other side, has never been very exciting. Exciting, yes, but more like a preamble of the real thing.

Whatever your favorite remote sex practice is, don't watch this video first or you will lost all your sexual appettite. Or maybe you will get it. It can go either way, really.

Write your answers in the comments. [Video via Obsolete]

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire was, as I recall, the only thing people watched on TV in 2000. The one-liners were usable in so many situations. Is that your final answer? Do you want to phone a friend? How did we say these things before this show began? We must have had a really good system of grunts and gestures.

Regis Philbin, man. What a hot piece of manmeat. Yum. But you know what really used to get me off? The fact that, after shelling out thousands of pennies for the PS1 version of the game, Reege had no qualms about reminding me that I was not a REAL millionaire.

"We have it in the company vault, but that's as far as it goes," he says. Do you think that ABC still has a million dollars in the company vault? It'd be worth what now...like $300,000? Philbie continues: "You're only a pretend millionaire. Do you see the difference?" Ooh baby. A man putting me down? I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it. I mean, I was all, "I won! I'm rich!" and then Regis was all, "No you're not! " and I was all, "Oh right, I have two maxed-out credit cards and have had nothing but Annie's Mac and Cheese for the last week. And I am living at my dad's and fighting with my brother about bathroom time. But please, Regis: Tell me a bit more about how pathetic I am. Hold on—wait, first let me get a drink. Waiter? Tap water, please. Neat. Now Regis, please go on. I'm glad we had this talk."

Anna Jane Grossman will be with us for the next few weeks, documenting life in the early aughts, and how it differs from today. The author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of ObsoleteTheBook.com, she has also written for dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post, as well as Gizmodo. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.

Anna Jane Grossman will be with us for the next few weeks, documenting life in the early aughts, and how it differs from today. The author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of ObsoleteTheBook.com, she has also written for dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post, as well as Gizmodo. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.

According to the YouTube credits, the script for this tale was a group effort by Comics & Cartoons, a 4chan community, but nevermind the script, I don't think the story would've been the same without the fantastic imitation of Raw Shark. [Thanks, Matt!]

While I know that this video was filmed under controlled conditions, a room set up by researchers with safety measures to keep the fire from spreading, I still can't watch it without glancing over at my own Christmas tree and shivering. [Wired]

Anna Jane Grossman will be with us for the next few weeks, documenting life in the early aughts, and how it differs from today. The author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of ObsoleteTheBook.com, she has also written for dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post, as well as Gizmodo. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.

Wheeeeee! Kind of underwhelming, I know, but it looks pretty. [Big Picture]

You're going to want to check out Carl Zimmer's full article about what exactly is going on here. Essentially, evolution has caused duck penises and duck vaginas to adapt into pretty wild and complex contraptions, with the penises unfurling into clockwise corkscrew shapes while the vaginas have evolved into counter-clockwise passageways with multiple pockets. And you thought your vagina was impressive!

Seriously, go check out the article to give this video some context. If nothing else, it'll provide you with a deeply inappropriate anecdote to tell your extended family over dinner tonight. [Discover Magazine]

I only see one problem to this huge retrofitted 1/350 scale model: How the hell do you make pew-pew sounds under water? [Hobby Media via Makezine]

In space, nobody can see you dancing classical ballet while eating Christmas pudding dunked in eggnog while singing Xmas carols. And with nobody I really mean the Cassini spacecraft.