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Fri Dec 18
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  • posts about #masturbation more →

    Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator

    Japanese Developers Make a Game to Go With Hands-Free USB Pleasure Gadget

    Japan Dominates Masturbate-a-Thon: Gadgets Help Break 8 Hour 30 Minute Record (NSFW)

    Steampunk Masturbation Device Invented by Internet Anal-Retentive Nerd Guru Merlin Mann

    Tenga Flip Hole Masturbatory Machine Has Me Foxed

    The Rubbot Male Sex Gadget is in Beta, Looks Slightly Dangerous

    Japanese Robotech Thruster Sex Machine

    Sqush Neck Massager Might Massage More Than Just Necks

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of thechansen thechansen
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    Frucci doesn't sex up inanimate objects. Inanimate objects sex up him.
     Reply
    thechansen was starred thechansen was unstarred
    Image of coodgenducta coodgenducta
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator

    I, uh, own one. Its ability to mimic a female human's fun bits is almost scary. Scary like I can't imagine what will be on the shelves in 5 years.
    Opening the box was kind of like Christmas for a pervy uncle. In the picture attached you can see everything that comes with it. The power adapter is still in its little box. The box on the bottom left is what you plug into your pc via usb. I think its function is to then break down commands from usb to commands for individual components of the device; the connector has lots of pins. They included a free bottle of wet lube, and the real touch holds almost all of it. The experience goes like this: You wire everything up and all of a sudden the device starts its warm up which spins the belts in hyper drive and sounds like construction work. While it’s warming up you browse real touch's online, pay per second, porn like Netflix on demand. Last time I checked was a bit lacking (I'll get to that later). When you make your selection, the link fires up WMP, and your robotic sex partner starts putting out.
    I do need to say that my setup experience was hell. I purchased it during the first week of sales which was for folks on the mailing list. That might excuse some of the problems I had, but not all. There was a problem with my install of Windows Media Player that neither tech support nor I could diagnose that was only resolved with a complete uninstall and reinstall of WMP. The real touch 'codec' that you download from their site still had issues with not being authenticated. And to top it all off, the device itself would not, for love or money, excrete any lube onto the belts. Without lube, the real touch is not unlike dual belt sanders with a vagina mouth. It took multiple calls, call backs, and over a day to resolve all of the problems.
    However, once everything was said and done, and I got to try it out, the frustration that I experienced melted away. They thought of everything. From an orifice that can contract and expand, to heating elements that feel like 98.6 or a little warmer, to the fluid movement and very realistic simulation of the sexual goddesses on screen. My girlfriend was honestly jealous of it. So I dumped her. Joke.
    The last time I checked the video offerings was about a week after I got my real touch. Sadly, I’ve only gotten everything to work once or twice. The lube dispenser is still not working correctly, it now leaks lube everywhere, and I’m not willing to risk having my genitalia ripped off. The last time I contacted tech support they suggested that I use a button in the control panel in WMP to manually dispense lube when I need it. That isn’t a solution I can live with because the panel ruins full screen viewing and I don’t want to have to keep my personal safety in the forefront of my mind while having sex.
     Reply
    Yerzriknot promoted this comment Edited by coodgenducta at 11/26/09 2:54 AM coodgenducta was starred coodgenducta was unstarred
    Image of tamoko tamoko
    11/26/09

    @coodgenducta: Props for honesty "Ducta". What I find most amusing is that there is actual technical phone support for a teledildonics device... what a freaky job that must be...
     Reply
    tamoko was starred tamoko was unstarred
    Image of Segador Segador
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    I Had Sex With a Treadmill Wiener Massager- the Shameful Redux

    by Adam Frucci
     Reply
    Segador was starred Segador was unstarred
    Image of tarochan tarochan
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    Something about the way it looks makes me want to stick my quarters in it.
     Reply
    tamoko promoted this comment tarochan was starred tarochan was unstarred
    Image of tamoko tamoko
    11/26/09

    @tarochan: I keep thinking Portal gun....
     Reply
    tamoko was starred tamoko was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon:  I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    Ewww :(

    I must be getting old.
     Reply
    Edited by Shamoononon: I shave my legs. at 11/26/09 12:47 AM Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    11/26/09

    @Shamoononon: I shave my legs.: You're not getting old. Men are just becoming more progressive with merging their love of high-tech gadgets and their love of sex..
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you!
    11/26/09

    @Shamoononon: I shave my legs.: I just hope that isn't the actual you on yer avatar there. Reminds me of Mimi Bobeck :(
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. promoted this comment psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was starred psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was unstarred
    Image of tamoko tamoko
    11/26/09

    @Shamoononon: I shave my legs.: Never old Shamoononon, just matured.
     Reply
    tamoko was starred tamoko was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon:  I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/26/09

    @psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you!: Ha!! You're about the only one that has caught that.
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you!
    11/26/09

    @Shamoononon: I shave my legs.:

    "I think of makeup as my paint, and my face as the canvas."

    [sic]Drew story!
     Reply
    psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was starred psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was unstarred
    Image of ninjagin ninjagin
    11/26/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    "Joe has just learned to speak German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET... And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body... it's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG..."
     Reply
    Edited by ninjagin at 11/26/09 12:17 AM ninjagin was starred ninjagin was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    This thing looks like that doggy sextoy, minus the head, legs & tail...
     Reply
    Edited by Jrsy Devil's Advocate® at 11/25/09 11:57 PM Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon:  I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/26/09

    @Jrsy Devil's Advocate®: Okay, that's a better picture.
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of Someone horked my name at engadget Someone horked my name at engadget
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    I'm happy with the girl I married.
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. promoted this comment Someone horked my name at engadget was starred Someone horked my name at engadget was unstarred
    Image of bornonbord bornonbord
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!

    Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.
     Reply
    bornonbord was starred bornonbord was unstarred
    Image of Jedi Niltag Jedi Niltag
    11/27/09

    @bornonbord: Of course you do, Dude.
     Reply
    bornonbord promoted this comment Jedi Niltag was starred Jedi Niltag was unstarred
    Image of puffnstuff puffnstuff
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    I love how you guys put NSFW pics on the front page. What exactly is the point of the NSFW title if stuff like this is seen before the cut ?
     Reply
    bornonbord promoted this comment puffnstuff was starred puffnstuff was unstarred
    Image of bornonbord bornonbord
    11/26/09

    @puffnstuff: Obvi so you can get a boner at work without busting a firewall.
     Reply
    bornonbord was starred bornonbord was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon:  I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/26/09

    @bornonbord: The fleshbot gave you a boner?
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of MacPro66 MacPro66
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    nice booty on that laptop!
     Reply
    Yerzriknot promoted this comment MacPro66 was starred MacPro66 was unstarred
    Image of Kaiser-Machead Kaiser-Machead
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    You go into jerkoff machine?

    [nods]

    Jerkoff machine synchronizes with yer porn?

    [nods]

    Farewell, and adieu, to you, Spanish ladies.....
     Reply
    Kaiser-Machead was starred Kaiser-Machead was unstarred
    Image of Yerzriknot Yerzriknot
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    Now I know what to ask Santa for.
     Reply
    Yerzriknot was starred Yerzriknot was unstarred
    Image of bleek bleek
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    I'm not even going to look at this until it gets Frucci'd.
     Reply
    Con Seannery promoted this comment bleek was starred bleek was unstarred
    Image of Con Seannery Con Seannery
    11/26/09

    @bleek: I just hope if you buy one it doesn't come with a little Frucci inside...
     Reply
    Con Seannery was starred Con Seannery was unstarred
    Image of AXSLV2 AXSLV2
    11/25/09

    In reply to Fleshbot Reviews the Real Touch, a Video-Synchronized Masturbator
    does it also sync while playing music?
     Reply
    Yerzriknot promoted this comment AXSLV2 was starred AXSLV2 was unstarred
    Image of Yerzriknot Yerzriknot
    11/25/09

    @AXSLV2: If so what happens to your junk when you pop in a Cannibal Corpse CD?
     Reply
    Yerzriknot was starred Yerzriknot was unstarred
    Image of ploopsy ploopsy
    11/25/09

    @Yerzriknot: I dont know. But be safe and call an ambulance.
     Reply
    MrBangBam promoted this comment ploopsy was starred ploopsy was unstarred
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