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Chris Jacob
I, uh, own one. Its ability to mimic a female human's fun bits is almost scary. Scary like I can't imagine what will be on the shelves in 5 years.
Opening the box was kind of like Christmas for a pervy uncle. In the picture attached you can see everything that comes with it. The power adapter is still in its little box. The box on the bottom left is what you plug into your pc via usb. I think its function is to then break down commands from usb to commands for individual components of the device; the connector has lots of pins. They included a free bottle of wet lube, and the real touch holds almost all of it. The experience goes like this: You wire everything up and all of a sudden the device starts its warm up which spins the belts in hyper drive and sounds like construction work. While it’s warming up you browse real touch's online, pay per second, porn like Netflix on demand. Last time I checked was a bit lacking (I'll get to that later). When you make your selection, the link fires up WMP, and your robotic sex partner starts putting out.
I do need to say that my setup experience was hell. I purchased it during the first week of sales which was for folks on the mailing list. That might excuse some of the problems I had, but not all. There was a problem with my install of Windows Media Player that neither tech support nor I could diagnose that was only resolved with a complete uninstall and reinstall of WMP. The real touch 'codec' that you download from their site still had issues with not being authenticated. And to top it all off, the device itself would not, for love or money, excrete any lube onto the belts. Without lube, the real touch is not unlike dual belt sanders with a vagina mouth. It took multiple calls, call backs, and over a day to resolve all of the problems.
However, once everything was said and done, and I got to try it out, the frustration that I experienced melted away. They thought of everything. From an orifice that can contract and expand, to heating elements that feel like 98.6 or a little warmer, to the fluid movement and very realistic simulation of the sexual goddesses on screen. My girlfriend was honestly jealous of it. So I dumped her. Joke.
The last time I checked the video offerings was about a week after I got my real touch. Sadly, I’ve only gotten everything to work once or twice. The lube dispenser is still not working correctly, it now leaks lube everywhere, and I’m not willing to risk having my genitalia ripped off. The last time I contacted tech support they suggested that I use a button in the control panel in WMP to manually dispense lube when I need it. That isn’t a solution I can live with because the panel ruins full screen viewing and I don’t want to have to keep my personal safety in the forefront of my mind while having sex.
@coodgenducta: Props for honesty "Ducta". What I find most amusing is that there is actual technical phone support for a teledildonics device... what a freaky job that must be...
@Shamoononon: I shave my legs.: You're not getting old. Men are just becoming more progressive with merging their love of high-tech gadgets and their love of sex..
Shamoononon: I shave my legs. promoted this comment
psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was starred
psychonaut2021:That's Mr Psychonaut to you! was unstarred
"Joe has just learned to speak German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET... And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body... it's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG..."
11/26/09
11/26/09
I, uh, own one. Its ability to mimic a female human's fun bits is almost scary. Scary like I can't imagine what will be on the shelves in 5 years.
Opening the box was kind of like Christmas for a pervy uncle. In the picture attached you can see everything that comes with it. The power adapter is still in its little box. The box on the bottom left is what you plug into your pc via usb. I think its function is to then break down commands from usb to commands for individual components of the device; the connector has lots of pins. They included a free bottle of wet lube, and the real touch holds almost all of it. The experience goes like this: You wire everything up and all of a sudden the device starts its warm up which spins the belts in hyper drive and sounds like construction work. While it’s warming up you browse real touch's online, pay per second, porn like Netflix on demand. Last time I checked was a bit lacking (I'll get to that later). When you make your selection, the link fires up WMP, and your robotic sex partner starts putting out.
I do need to say that my setup experience was hell. I purchased it during the first week of sales which was for folks on the mailing list. That might excuse some of the problems I had, but not all. There was a problem with my install of Windows Media Player that neither tech support nor I could diagnose that was only resolved with a complete uninstall and reinstall of WMP. The real touch 'codec' that you download from their site still had issues with not being authenticated. And to top it all off, the device itself would not, for love or money, excrete any lube onto the belts. Without lube, the real touch is not unlike dual belt sanders with a vagina mouth. It took multiple calls, call backs, and over a day to resolve all of the problems.
However, once everything was said and done, and I got to try it out, the frustration that I experienced melted away. They thought of everything. From an orifice that can contract and expand, to heating elements that feel like 98.6 or a little warmer, to the fluid movement and very realistic simulation of the sexual goddesses on screen. My girlfriend was honestly jealous of it. So I dumped her. Joke.
The last time I checked the video offerings was about a week after I got my real touch. Sadly, I’ve only gotten everything to work once or twice. The lube dispenser is still not working correctly, it now leaks lube everywhere, and I’m not willing to risk having my genitalia ripped off. The last time I contacted tech support they suggested that I use a button in the control panel in WMP to manually dispense lube when I need it. That isn’t a solution I can live with because the panel ruins full screen viewing and I don’t want to have to keep my personal safety in the forefront of my mind while having sex.
11/26/09
11/26/09
by Adam Frucci
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
I must be getting old.
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
"I think of makeup as my paint, and my face as the canvas."
[sic]Drew story!
11/26/09
11/25/09
11/26/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.
11/27/09
11/25/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
[nods]
Jerkoff machine synchronizes with yer porn?
[nods]
Farewell, and adieu, to you, Spanish ladies.....
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/26/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09