Jimmy Fallon recently took on the Hyperloop during his regular “Pros and Cons” segment, and described Elon Musk’s precious, tubular baby as “Thomas the Train on cocaine.” He also compared passengers to human spitballs. The future is going to be great, everyone!
So say you need to get a few hundred pounds of cocaine from Mexico to the US. Underground, preferably, so as not to attract too much attention. Where’s the best place one might, hypothetically, do this? Asking for a friend.
Remember that scene in Traffic where they mold cocaine into dolls? This kind of trickery happens in real life, too. A band of international smugglers recently got caught with over $370 million worth of cocaine disguised as 40 shipping pallets. No, the pallets weren’t filled with cocaine. The pallets were cocaine.
This is no longer a purely theoretical question, thanks to the modern world. Giving a liberal dose of cocaine to an eel turns out to be far worse for the eel than it is for us.
Where to even begin, really? How fast do you think those kids built that log cabin after popping a few of these?
Years ago, this experiment got written up a few places with headlines like, "Your tax dollars at work!" But that's what happens when your experiment gives rats cocaine and makes them listen to jazz.
Ready for some weird science? Certain bacteria found in the dirt near coca plants are powered by an enzyme that eats cocaine. Unfortunately, the enzyme breaks down quickly at body temperature, meaning it can't be used to treat human overdoses or addiction. Now, though, researchers have designed a version that can…
Dutch artist diddo created this full-scale sculpture of a human skull made with street cocaine. The piece is entitled '"ecce animal." The artist even took the cocaine to a research lab in order to verify its authenticity.
There has been a lot of eerie experimentation over the years, but few experimental journals touch Edwin Katskee's diary. Katskee decided that he would go ahead and test the effects of cocaine. He took far too much, and then documented his own overdose.
Bacteriology and toxicology researchers have found volumes infected with herpes and traces of cocaine in all the copies of Fifty Shades of Grey at a public library. According to these experts, modern drugs tests will be able to detect traces of coke from the books in your body after reading them.
An investigation into the potential addictiveness of high-fat and high-sugar foods has found that Oreo cookies activate more neurons in the pleasure centers of rats' brains than cocaine. But does that really mean certain foods are more addictive than hard drugs?
Go out on the water, help tow a billionaire's dead yacht to the dock, pinch somebody for boating while intoxicated, find $700,000 worth of cocaine floating in the ocean. Just another day when you're a boat cop in Florida!
Welp, that settles that. Anybody who was wondering if authorities were going to keep going after the arrest of Silk Road kingpin Ross Ulbricht and start targeting users don't need to wonder anymore. Multiple arrests have now been made worldwide, and it looks like more are on the way.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, part of a family of drug dealers, smoked crack cocaine while one of his young pals recorded video. Since then, Gawker and a Toronto newspaper have confirmed the video shows Ford smoking a crack pipe, and Ford has denied the video exists. But Toronto vice cops knew about it before the media did.
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering big dicks, broken jaws, uneaten cupcakes, and more. Image by Jim Cooke.
Rob Ford, Toronto's conservative mayor, is a wild lunatic given to making bizarre racist pronouncements and randomly slapping refrigerator magnets on cars. One reason for this is that he smokes crack cocaine. I know this because I watched him do it, on a videotape. He was fucking hiiiiigh. It's for sale if you've got…