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Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well

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strider_mt2k
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
My Radio Shack is within upper-plate-spitting distance from no less than TWO elder care facilities and a "retirement community".

I can't explain pay-as-you-go cell phones or voice mail to half of these older folks, and you want them carrying GUNS???

I mean we let 'em drive cars!

Don't they do enough damage to folks with THOSE??
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Here at the Palm Pistol store, if you're approved by us for a gun, and medicare turns down your claim, we'll give you your pistol for free.

The Palm Pistol Store gave me my gat, and now I's free to smoke the haters from Shady Pines

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OMG! Ponies!
12/09/08

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy->★: Later, Gizmodo is going to post a story about how SteveDave took the DeLorean for a test drive and came back with footage from the future of Sarah Palin in a nursing home.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/09/08

@OMG! Ponies!: You'd be amazed how much advertising she does in the future.

Hello there Americans. You know, I useta be able to see Russia from my house, but thanks to that there Barak Obama's health care plan, wouldnt'cha know my eye site started deteriorating like John McCain's poll numbers. It got so bad, I couldn't see a caribou, even with a 40x Bushmaster scope on my AR-15. But thanks to those maverick doctors at Diamond Vision, I'm able to see Russia, as well as the island of California, from the rocking chair on my front porch. Thank you Diamond Vision!
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dcartist
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Sounds like the manufacturer has the brains and accountability of a turnip or a 3 year old kid.

Typical gun nut whack job.
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GadgetPlayPissedSomebodyOff
12/09/08

@dcartist: As an actual gun nut, I take exception to that comment. No actual gun enthusiast would design anything that outlandish for our respected elderly. I can imagine nothing harder to aim and operate than that travesty of a firearm.

As to the intelligence of a turnip or a three year old, or a three year old turnip, I'm sure you have ready reference near at hand to make an informed comparison.
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IN THE FACE!
12/09/08

@Comrade GadgetPlay, Fellow Traveler: One's personal beliefs regarding being/not being a gun-nut...

That is the dumbest personal firearm idea I have seen in my life...

The coolest personal firearm I have ever seen, is unfortunately still in development:

Just thought I would reiterate "ROCKET PROPELLED CHAINSAW"
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/09/08

@bpapa9013: How do you ensure it starts?
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OMG! Ponies!
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Oh come on, guys. There's still this method of getting rid of our nation's old people:

Palm flowers, domed cities, and fabulous 70's Farrah Fawcett flip-dos.

And if that doesn't work, we can send our old people to Japan.

They've got more old people than they know what to do with so they won't notice another 30 million, what with the entire island of Hokkaido already smelling like peppermints and Ben-Gay.
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frigg
12/09/08

@OMG! Ponies!: "Palm flowers, domed cities, and fabulous 70's Farrah Fawcett flip-dos."

Not to mention plankton-eating robots. Although, in fairness to the 23rd century, they've probably all been mothballed now that there's a buried city full of clones growing replacement organs while waiting for passage to The Island.
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frigg
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
So... someone made a weapon out of a Mr. Potato Head?!

Perhaps they'll feature it in the sequel to "No Country For Old Men."
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OMG! Ponies!
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Seriously, am I the only one who wants to see a West Side Story-style rumble with old people?

Jazz dance, four dozen old people, and switchblades.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/09/08

@OMG! Ponies!: I would say yes, but "When you're a Bi-plane" doesn't have the same rhythm.
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Anonymoose
12/09/08

@OMG! Ponies!: are you crazy? if these old people come across even remotely like this guy:

+ Watch video

then i will be forced to shank a puppy.

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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/09/08

@Anonymoose: Have you ever seen the Robot Chicken spoof of this?
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OMG! Ponies!
12/09/08

In reply to Party-Pooping FDA Says Palm Pistol Definitely Not a 'Medical Device'
Darn.

Now alter kockers (Yiddish for: old farts) are just going to have to settle scores with sword-cane duels, American Gladiator-style walker fights, and by racing Rascal scooters down the nursing home hallways for pinks.
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scarbrtj
12/09/08

@OMG! Ponies!:
I thought alter kockers were guys with penile implants... oy vey

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OMG! Ponies!
12/09/08

@scarbrtj: No. They're the "hat men" who drive big white Cadillacs in Miami 15 miles an hour too slow along Dixie Highway, trying to get to Denny's by 4:30 for the Early Bird Special.

Could I get just a little dollop of cottage cheese in a dish?
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Hello Mister Walrus
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
With a normal gun, you hold the barrel to eye level and look down to aim. You obviously can't do that with this gun, so it seems like it would only be useful for shooting things that are really close. I guess that's ok for old people if they can't see that far - probably enough to get kids off their lawn.
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zenpoet
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
It looks more like a stupid Wii peripheral than an actual gun.
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bosskev
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
With your hand completely enveloping the firing chamber, I'd guess this gun offers pretty good silencing as well. Suddenly all those out-of-work seniors have a new career path with the mob.
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Rabid Penguin
12/03/08

@bosskev: "New" career path? This would just be them coming out of retirement.
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OMG! Ponies!
12/03/08

@bosskev: There have been old farts in the Mafia for years:

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bosskev
12/03/08

@OMG! Ponies!: How timely. Just last night I watched The Godfather again (on Blu-ray, of course--no compromised "HD" streaming for me!--a stunning restoration). This still is from the scene where Vigoda's character Sal Tessio realizes his treachery has been discovered and knows he is about to be killed. We're looking over Robert Duvall's left ear.

Too bad Sal didn't know about this easily-concealed handgun. If he had, perhaps he could have preempted his own death and the movie might have ended up with a different Godfather.
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ninjagin
12/03/08

@bosskev: Actually, most of the sound comes out of the barrel. A shampoo bottle put over the end of a rifle barrel will effectively silence it for the first couple shots, because you're trapping both the air in the barrel and the expanding propellant gasses inside. If those gasses don't get out and disturb the air around you, you don't hear the shot. After the third shot, you have enough of a big hole or holes at the bottom of the bottle to allow the gasses to escape, so the silencing goes away. Silencers work on the same principle, containing the propellant gasses in a baffled structure. You can make a decent silencer (and break the law, too) with a pipe filled with alternately-stacked metal and cotton/wool washers. The gasses are contained in the cotton/wool washers and baffled by the metal ones. The last silencer I used (on an MP5) was packed with fiberglass, for instance.

For this device, a shot would still be loud, though at this caliber (.22, from the looks of it), "loud" is relative. I have a .22 rifle that's about as loud as a BB gun.
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bosskev
12/03/08

@ninjagin: And you know all this about silencers...umm...how?

* smiles and nods *

* backs slowly away *
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MarkB
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
Not a good time to be a naughty Maltese.
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Lite: hates Illinois Nazis
12/03/08

@MarkB: I was thinking, "Get the hell of my lawn!"
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iridius
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
For realz? This is seriously a GUN?
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Ghede
12/03/08

@iridius: No, it's simply a device which launches roundish metal pellets with the aid of nitrate based powder.
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OMG! Ponies!
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
After shooting himself in the leg, Plaxico Burress was prescribed one of these.
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chattinwithchad
12/03/08

@OMG! Ponies!: Wonder if Chedderbob (AKA Plaxico) would really know how to work this one...
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OMG! Ponies!
12/03/08

@NMC ONE WAY: Does it matter? Not knowing how to safely handle a semi-automatic handgun didn't stop him from shooting himself in the leg.

Let this be a lesson - this is what happens when you wear sweatpants in public.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
12/03/08

@OMG! Ponies!: All that bling, and he couldn't find a holster that matched his grill. Tsk Tsk.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
12/03/08

@OMG! Ponies!: What's really sad is that this incident will be the highlight of his career.
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Curves
12/03/08

In reply to Prescription Handguns For the Elderly and Disabled: This Won't End Well
I am shooting you for your own good. You will feel a LOT better when this is all done......
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dukemang
12/03/08

@Curves: I'm shooting you for my own good. I will feel better when this is all done.

Solving all of your problems and one of mine.
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Curves
12/03/08

@dukemang: Dont shoot me till you really get to know me. I mean, at least let me earn that contempt. I swear I can, no doubt about it.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
12/03/08

@Curves: Whatever happened to shoot first and ask questions later..??
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