Nothing I do and no email or tweet is important to the world at large, but in a world where my office is 12 feet from my bedroom and clients expect work turned around within a few hours, yes, those emails are important to me. I applaud anyone who is trying harder than average in a world full of laziness.
But also, as Lisa attributes to Brian, when I'm on the internet, I feel like I'm meeting friends. They are scattered around town and around the world, and my work and social life are often happening somewhere other than in my living room while I watch TV with my wife. So when I get a new mail, I'm likely to check it. I try to keep it brief and subtle in social situations, but it's my reality. Do I have to? No. But running a business as well as I can means being on top of things and so does running this blog. We all love to squat in the comments and bitch at how Gizmodo is run, but I love this place, and I'm glad that Brian cares enough to keep on top of things all the time.
But man, really, I don't need to be in your bedroom with you. For me, that's the boundary for my iPhone. I might facebook on the pot, but I don't love and tweet.
Never do anything in bed except sleep and have sex. That's the best thing for both your sleep pattern and your sex life, they say.
As for all the other times we check email, I think most are unnecessary. The world isn't going to end if we don't check our email every half hour. And the only reason we do it is because we're essentially addicted to it, and because we have come to think that everyone else demands immediate response. That's the real problem with txt, email and twitter - this feeling that we have to be connected all the time, not for our own benefit but because everyone else expects it (or at least we think they do).
Most damaging is the idea that it's only "5% of your idle clock cycles" because it's not. Even if it's only 1 minute out of twenty, it means we're not fully in the moment - not fully engaged with the activity at hand. We cannot really multitask, and checking our email or whatever just pulls our attention away just enough that we're never really there. That's what really pisses girlfriends off, I've found. And I can't say that they're wrong, really.
I gotta say that no matter what you read here, it's not up to us. Either you're going to realize how much this drives her crazy and are willing to compromise and put it down or she's going to realize you're never going to change. There are things in every relationship that are just dealbreakers no matter what other wonderful qualities they have.
However, sometimes other things are more important than your work no matter how much you enjoy it. It's your call and you may change your mind (or she hers), but this is probably a good time to drag out the old chestnut about nobody on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at the office.
Keep your lady as happy as you can and she'll return the favor, regardless of your proclivities.
I know your work is important, but the lowdown on that new helmet-cam doesn't compare with the special moments with your lady.
(Moments you could be parleying into OTHER moments, if you know what I mean -nudge nudge)
I'd say it's rude during dinner or in the middle of a conversation (which seems obvious did you really argue otherwise?) but alone or when there's no conversation, like on a ski lift or in the car seems okay... maybe it's the amount that's the real problem for her. Nobody should spend that much time checking email when away from their desk. It creates an unreasonable expectation of connectivity and people need their non-connected time, now more than ever in my opinion. Plus if you have some quiet time on the ski lift, shouldn't you really be smoking some weed or taking a sip of brandy? Where are your priorities?
True, but that misses the point. It isn't that Brian checks his email every second...it is that he checks it in the middle of conversations, when spending time with his girlfriend, etc. He is free to sacrifice his own time and energy, just as any other person striving for greatness. The problem is, he refuses to sacrifice enough, and instead requires others to do it.
I know a guy who wants to win a Nobel prize. His work is important. He works late in the lab, most days. That is fine. What is not okay, would be if he brought his physics research home with him, and busted it out at the kitchen table as soon as their was a lull in the conversation. This is exactly what Brian is doing, and what his girlfriend is rightly calling bullshit on.
@MillicentMetellus: The nobel prize thing is a little stretching it on the comparison, but I totally think you're spot on otherwise. As opposed to checking the phone while someone is talking, he could excuse himself and go to another room. You're pointing out a need for comprimise, and I agree.
Maybe another solution is for him to take a night off a week for the two of them. On that night, he let's someone else (obviously a close friend he trusts) keep track of his emails. If something needs to be published to Giz, it gets published with a basic line and general information, with a "more to come later." If that doesn't work, he could actually have somebody call him if he gets any important mail.
Is it a perfect solution? Not even close. But something along these lines shows he's making an effort. I piss my girl off pretty regularly (hell, I piss off a lot of people pretty regularly!), but I can usually slide because I may not budge on one thing, but I can totally compromise on the other.
Interesting topic! I hardly ever comment on gizmodo, but I can't resist... So basically, I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect someone you're close with to try to keep the phone out of bed and away from the dinner table. I mean, most people here who admit to being on their phone a lot (and I myself am known around my office building as "the girl on the iphone") say that a big reason for it is boredom. You start checking up on stuff because the conversation is boring, the wait is boring, walking is boring, whatever. It isn't a far leap to see how people interpret your having the phone out as a message that you find them boring.
You also have to consider that when it comes to your girlfriend, you aren't just talking about being rude or not. What might just be kind of rude in a normal context becomes really hurtful in a relationship context. I'm basically cool with indicating to a check-out person that I find waiting in their line supremely uninteresting, but I'm not going to do the same to my boyfriend over dinner even when my brain is melting during his detailed account of what he and "the guys" did over their lunch break.
Bottom line - feeling second to something else, anything else, makes a person feel insecure. Even if your reason isn't, like for many of us, boredom, the end result is the same. Insecurity breeds discontent, and discontent ends relationships. Which is probably cool when you're talking about a salesperson or someone else you barely know, but should make you think twice when it comes to people you love.
@Atomic Bowling: Agree with everything you said, for the most part, which is why I approved it. I replied because you said something else interesting (to me at least).
You said you don't usually comment on Giz...I don't either and I think there's a few other who have commented here who usually don't. Personally, I'm a Lifehacker guy (even though I comment way more on Kotaku, for some reason). Giz strikes me as, I don't know, too dry sometimes. I'm not just attacking Giz, I'm going somewhere with this.
"Blam Blows Up"
This is for everyone....How about once a week, we get an article like this on Brian's mind? Why does everyone hate the iPhone? What's with all the fanboy hate? Blu-ray: A waste of money! Whatever the hell he feels like saying.
You can agree with him, or disagree or whatever, but it's not a news item. It's a once a week chance for him to let off some steam and for us to have more of a social talk with one of the bigger names at Giz that stays hopefully relatively troll-free.
ok, bottom line is your friends and family know who you are and what you need to do. they will recognize your responsibilities and when and where you need to stay connected. BLam and all the other guys at Giz, i am sure, have loved ones who understand it's their JOB! don't knock the editors because they share what their life is like and it's happens to be different than yours. do i need to check my e-mail 24/7? no, i don't. my friends know that and if i did check it they would think me rude. but if you have a legit reason to stay connected everywhere (competing with another gadget blog for internet superiority qualifies) than whip your phone out at the table and the people who know you, the people that matter won't give a hoot. those who seem offended obviously aren't someone who needs to be important to you. battery dying -- end rant.
@Nick: My island name is Nicko: bahh, and ps: if it's at the movie than who the hell cares. movies are supposed to be about you and a story. not you and your friends. you shouldn't be chatting it up anyway. if you need to check a message than you are only interrupting your own experience. it's a victimless crime -- like marijuana.
As someone who works freelance in the arts field (theater and film mostly), it is vital and expected that I can be reached as soon as possible. The friends I have in the industry completely understand checking an email or taking a phone call in public because if I didn't I may have just missed out on a few weeks or months worth of work. My friends who have nice permanent salaried jobs don't understand this at all. I'm sorry I have to interrupt your story about Karl at the office and his wacky shenanigans but if I don't respond to this text, I'll be unemployed for the next 3 months. It's nothing personal, but in the end your feelings don't pay my bills.
I see both sides of the issue. I do think it's rude at a dinner table or while someone is trying to talk to you. If you're watching TV or walking around a store, it's your business. If you do it while driving, that's pretty irresonsible and could endanger others.
On your side of things, life has a lot of boring moments. If I'm in line at a grocery store, I go ahead and check my email. If I'm at the bar or a friends house and others are preocccupied, I'll bring out. If someone is annoying or boring me, I'll check it.
All of that said, I have to say something; you keep brushing off anybody who thinks it's rude with a "you don't know what it's like to work here." Well, that's 100% true for most people, but if your going to post an editorial on a public forum, you should probably not criticize them for responding.
Disagreeing is one thing; comparing the use of the phone with the "powder break" or the "smoke break" is completely acceptable use of argument. Studying how times have changed is completely intelligent. Saying "you don't know what it's like" multiple times seems to discourage the point of a comments section entirely.
Look, I'm going to assume you enjoy the job, so quitting it would not be logical. I assume your relationship hasn't come down to "quit checking your mail or I leave." If it's something the two of you are going to constantly argue about, I imagine the relationship is going to suck. If it's a minor quibble, then just agree to disagree.
The problem is that you're complaining about something that half the readers would give their left nut for; a girlfriend....just kidding! I of course meant the job with Gawker Media. You have a dream job that you're complaining about, and you expect sympathy. I have no clue what you make, but I'm betting it's more than the majority of the readers. That alone makes the whole "you don't know what it's like" a psuedo-insult.
Anyway, I've said more than enough. There you go, it's my take, for what it's worth.
@Brian Lam: I never considered myself a troll. I say a lot of stuff that ends up offending people, so take that for what it is. I think this is my first gizmodo comment in a long time. I think my last comment on Giz was a tirade proclaiming my hatred of Nintendo. If you consider Nintendo hatred trolling, then I guess that would make me the troll king :)
Blam, you don't have to work at Gizmodo. If a job requires you to behave in a way that society finds unacceptable, perhaps you should find a new job. You're choosing to be rude to keep a job that you chose to take. To extend your contention that the world will accept what you do in the future, let's look at telemarketers. We have accepted telemarketers as part of the era of the telephone, but how many of us like telemarketers? They are a fact of life and commonplace, but most folks hate 'em. Just because you feel compelled to do what you do, that doesn't mean the people around you have to like it. In fact, if always-connected gadget users continue to push the boundaries of what is acceptable, they will find themselves staring in the headlights of oncoming legislation created by luddites who don't like what they hear in the stall next to them. I can foresee a not-to-distant future in which bathrooms, restaurants and theaters block phone signals. I don't want that to happen. So please keep your phone in your pocket before you screw us all over.
@Stu Ackerman: i think polite society has evolved quite a bit since even your parents' youth. if you think his phone habits are rude that is your opinion. don't dine with him. now if you're the blowhard that wants me to get off my phone five tables away because i am reading an e-mail about how my long lost nigerian cousin left me a fortune -- than your are just a pompous ass. i find myself, in most occasions, the only person to stand when i meet someone or someone comes to the table. does that make me think all my friends are rude? of course not. things are different today and if you think that legislation will result form bad manners than you're a goof ball.
and if the day comes where i can't poop and read a magazine or my cell phone than i don't wanna keep on living.
@EmersonBuddha: thank fucking god someone wrote something like this. It's not that I need the thanks, but I need people to shut up about typos and errors in posts and us being late on shit, and yet, still tell me to chill out on the email checking. You can't have both!
@Brian Lam: I hate it when people harp on the editors when there is a typo. Bugs the hell out of me. If they are correcting a broken link or something, fine, as long as they are polite about it. But there is absolutely no need to be a total grammar/spelling nazi. People should stop being such douches about it, especially seeing that as of now there have been 51 posts in the last 24 hours. Not every single one can be typo free and grammatically perfect. I would rather have 51 articles, recent and up to date, than 20 articles that are old, but perfect in terms of English. Geez, stupid pricks that can't keep their damn mouths shut about trivial little things, I'm sick of them.
/end mini-rant
Ps: Eh Brian, just wondering, was it you who starred me?
When you check your iPhone in front of your girlfriend, you are making a choice about which one is more important to you. You can justify it all you like, but when you treat someone as if they're unimportant, you can't expect them to stick around.
07/22/09
Nothing I do and no email or tweet is important to the world at large, but in a world where my office is 12 feet from my bedroom and clients expect work turned around within a few hours, yes, those emails are important to me. I applaud anyone who is trying harder than average in a world full of laziness.
But also, as Lisa attributes to Brian, when I'm on the internet, I feel like I'm meeting friends. They are scattered around town and around the world, and my work and social life are often happening somewhere other than in my living room while I watch TV with my wife. So when I get a new mail, I'm likely to check it. I try to keep it brief and subtle in social situations, but it's my reality. Do I have to? No. But running a business as well as I can means being on top of things and so does running this blog. We all love to squat in the comments and bitch at how Gizmodo is run, but I love this place, and I'm glad that Brian cares enough to keep on top of things all the time.
But man, really, I don't need to be in your bedroom with you. For me, that's the boundary for my iPhone. I might facebook on the pot, but I don't love and tweet.
07/21/09
As for all the other times we check email, I think most are unnecessary. The world isn't going to end if we don't check our email every half hour. And the only reason we do it is because we're essentially addicted to it, and because we have come to think that everyone else demands immediate response. That's the real problem with txt, email and twitter - this feeling that we have to be connected all the time, not for our own benefit but because everyone else expects it (or at least we think they do).
Most damaging is the idea that it's only "5% of your idle clock cycles" because it's not. Even if it's only 1 minute out of twenty, it means we're not fully in the moment - not fully engaged with the activity at hand. We cannot really multitask, and checking our email or whatever just pulls our attention away just enough that we're never really there. That's what really pisses girlfriends off, I've found. And I can't say that they're wrong, really.
07/21/09
07/21/09
However, sometimes other things are more important than your work no matter how much you enjoy it. It's your call and you may change your mind (or she hers), but this is probably a good time to drag out the old chestnut about nobody on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at the office.
07/21/09
Keep your lady as happy as you can and she'll return the favor, regardless of your proclivities.
I know your work is important, but the lowdown on that new helmet-cam doesn't compare with the special moments with your lady.
(Moments you could be parleying into OTHER moments, if you know what I mean -nudge nudge)
Say no more!
07/21/09
07/21/09
I know a guy who wants to win a Nobel prize. His work is important. He works late in the lab, most days. That is fine. What is not okay, would be if he brought his physics research home with him, and busted it out at the kitchen table as soon as their was a lull in the conversation. This is exactly what Brian is doing, and what his girlfriend is rightly calling bullshit on.
07/21/09
Maybe another solution is for him to take a night off a week for the two of them. On that night, he let's someone else (obviously a close friend he trusts) keep track of his emails. If something needs to be published to Giz, it gets published with a basic line and general information, with a "more to come later." If that doesn't work, he could actually have somebody call him if he gets any important mail.
Is it a perfect solution? Not even close. But something along these lines shows he's making an effort. I piss my girl off pretty regularly (hell, I piss off a lot of people pretty regularly!), but I can usually slide because I may not budge on one thing, but I can totally compromise on the other.
07/21/09
You also have to consider that when it comes to your girlfriend, you aren't just talking about being rude or not. What might just be kind of rude in a normal context becomes really hurtful in a relationship context. I'm basically cool with indicating to a check-out person that I find waiting in their line supremely uninteresting, but I'm not going to do the same to my boyfriend over dinner even when my brain is melting during his detailed account of what he and "the guys" did over their lunch break.
Bottom line - feeling second to something else, anything else, makes a person feel insecure. Even if your reason isn't, like for many of us, boredom, the end result is the same. Insecurity breeds discontent, and discontent ends relationships. Which is probably cool when you're talking about a salesperson or someone else you barely know, but should make you think twice when it comes to people you love.
07/21/09
You said you don't usually comment on Giz...I don't either and I think there's a few other who have commented here who usually don't. Personally, I'm a Lifehacker guy (even though I comment way more on Kotaku, for some reason). Giz strikes me as, I don't know, too dry sometimes. I'm not just attacking Giz, I'm going somewhere with this.
"Blam Blows Up"
This is for everyone....How about once a week, we get an article like this on Brian's mind? Why does everyone hate the iPhone? What's with all the fanboy hate? Blu-ray: A waste of money! Whatever the hell he feels like saying.
You can agree with him, or disagree or whatever, but it's not a news item. It's a once a week chance for him to let off some steam and for us to have more of a social talk with one of the bigger names at Giz that stays hopefully relatively troll-free.
So, what does everybody think? Brian?
07/21/09
ok, bottom line is your friends and family know who you are and what you need to do. they will recognize your responsibilities and when and where you need to stay connected. BLam and all the other guys at Giz, i am sure, have loved ones who understand it's their JOB! don't knock the editors because they share what their life is like and it's happens to be different than yours. do i need to check my e-mail 24/7? no, i don't. my friends know that and if i did check it they would think me rude. but if you have a legit reason to stay connected everywhere (competing with another gadget blog for internet superiority qualifies) than whip your phone out at the table and the people who know you, the people that matter won't give a hoot. those who seem offended obviously aren't someone who needs to be important to you. battery dying -- end rant.
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
On your side of things, life has a lot of boring moments. If I'm in line at a grocery store, I go ahead and check my email. If I'm at the bar or a friends house and others are preocccupied, I'll bring out. If someone is annoying or boring me, I'll check it.
All of that said, I have to say something; you keep brushing off anybody who thinks it's rude with a "you don't know what it's like to work here." Well, that's 100% true for most people, but if your going to post an editorial on a public forum, you should probably not criticize them for responding.
Disagreeing is one thing; comparing the use of the phone with the "powder break" or the "smoke break" is completely acceptable use of argument. Studying how times have changed is completely intelligent. Saying "you don't know what it's like" multiple times seems to discourage the point of a comments section entirely.
Look, I'm going to assume you enjoy the job, so quitting it would not be logical. I assume your relationship hasn't come down to "quit checking your mail or I leave." If it's something the two of you are going to constantly argue about, I imagine the relationship is going to suck. If it's a minor quibble, then just agree to disagree.
The problem is that you're complaining about something that half the readers would give their left nut for; a girlfriend....just kidding! I of course meant the job with Gawker Media. You have a dream job that you're complaining about, and you expect sympathy. I have no clue what you make, but I'm betting it's more than the majority of the readers. That alone makes the whole "you don't know what it's like" a psuedo-insult.
Anyway, I've said more than enough. There you go, it's my take, for what it's worth.
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
07/21/09
and if the day comes where i can't poop and read a magazine or my cell phone than i don't wanna keep on living.
07/21/09
I have to admit, you guys do a much finer job than Wired's Gadget Lab of NYT's Gadgetwise, thanks for all your sacrifices!
07/21/09
07/21/09
/end mini-rant
Ps: Eh Brian, just wondering, was it you who starred me?
07/21/09