I'm pretty sure when I was young, kids this dumb were sent out into the wild and only allowed back into society after they'd done battle with rabid wolves and survived, to ensure accordance with Darwin's law. Anyways, look kid, the crappy, Chinese-made stuffed toys inside, they're not actually worth it—not the quarter you conned out of your parents to play, and not the years of therapy you're going to have undergo to get over this. If it had been one of the ones where you can win like a Wii, okay, 'cause they can still be kind of hard to come by. But it totally wasn't. [YouTube via Geekologie]
If you're looking for another reason why Japan looks upon us like we look upon third world countries, take crane games. We have a robotic crane we control with a joystick, but Japan has a robotic ROBOT that they control with buttons. Players move the robot around to collect one of many cute dolls—one of which is a deformed Shrek—and take the winnings home. Too bad you can't have the robot grab itself, since that's what we really want. [Stinger Report via Arcade Heroes via Gear fuse via Uber Gizmo]
Those you who didn't get an iPhone in our Eureka contest earlier this month can head down to Point Pleasant, NJ, and try your luck there. Instead of coming up with a cool invention, all you have to do is master the forbidden art of pulling crap out of a glass box with a crane. There are at least two arcade-style claw-grabber boxes with the iPhone as the "grand prize," but we all know how difficult it is to grab anything with those atrophied mitts. Even Bender couldn't do it with his own arm. [Joeygadget via ArcadeHeroes via Kotaku]