Gizmodo: Crap

Photoshop Disasters Hurt My Eyes Beyond Repair

Jesus Diaz — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:00:00 EDT

I'm not a Photoshop wizard. I know I do plenty of photobotching myself—guilty as charged, your honor—but unlike these brilliant Photoshop Disasters, I've got to do mine in a few minutes in order to publish news on time, and they don't get published in ads, packages or magazines. My favorite from the gallery: the frontal shot of a model wearing a pearl G-string (which even while it shows no genitals whatsoever and is from Amazon.com, could be considered NSFW by many). Update: How could I forgot the worst Microsoft ad ever? Added.

Seriously, I love pearl G-strings, but that sex-less editing almost took my fetish away. How can anyone use the infinite power of this software to create this crap—then spend thousands of dollars publishing it in magazine covers, catalogs, product packaging, and online shops—is beyond me. Specially knowing that any of your Photobotch works have 100 times the quality of these commercial pieces. [Photoshop Disasters]

The Butt Station: Crap by Name, Crap by Nature

AddyDugdale — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Basically a desk tidy, the Butt Station, as it has been tastefully named, stores your business cards, sticky tape, pens and pencils, and has a little compartment for paperclips, in the toilet bowl. Lift up the little man and the clips will come out attached to said little man's bottom. It's classy, it's assy, and I think I'll pass(y). [Urban Outfitters via Bem Legaus]

Star Wars Rejected Promotional Crap Could Have Changed the Universe Forever

Jesus Diaz — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:10:05 EST

Here's another set of stunning, but rejected, Star Wars merchandise. These amazing examples of human genius go from a mini-fridge with Han Solo frozen in carbonite as its door to a Death Star BBQ, actual Leia's hair headphones and even an AT-AT chair caddy to hold your magazines, snacks and Pepsi—the marketing masterminds proposed all these gadgets—next to your favorite sofa. The best ones are frightening, yet irresistible.

I don't know about you, but I would kill for a real fridge with Han Solo in carbonite on the door. Click the source for a lot more of these crazy promotional gadgets. They have a Bespin Cloud City lamp I could kill for. And make Addy want to kill me. [Action Figure Insider]

Gizmondo Is Dead, Dead, Dead. DEAD and Not Coming Back

Jesus Diaz — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:20:44 EST

We received half a dozen tips earlier today from our Svenska readers talking about "Gizmondo coming back." The story went from a vague November 2007 quote by ex-convict Carl Freer into a morning internet craze, all fueled by a flash animation in a domain registered through an anonymous service. A bit of fact checking, with the help of a few Swedish journalist friends and whois, reveals that the rumors of a Gizmondo reappearance may have been greatly exaggerated. Actually, there's probably enough material to completely smash them.

The original article appeared in Realtid.se, a gossip online mag that according to our sources in Sweden lacks any kind of credibility and "should be avoided at all costs." In the article, Carl Freer talks about launching a new Gizmondo with a wider screen and a possible co-op with an unnamed telco where customers will be offered a Gizmondo for free, just for signing up for a data transfer subscription.

Freer, long-time friend and associate of famed Ferrari-crasher, fraudster and fellow ex-convict Stefan Eriksson, was recently arrested in the US for impersonating an "anti-terrorist agent" and illegal possession of guns. He was also previously convicted in Sweden for fraud and fined $265,000 in Germany in 2006 for writing bouncing checks as a car dealer during the '90s.

The Realtid report spread then to two other, more serious newspapers: Veckans Affärer and the Dina Pengar. The latter quoted both Realtid and Veckans Affärer, tying up all the speculation with the last piece of the puzzle, a flash animation hosted at Gizmondolive.com. According to one source, the Dina Pengar article "is not good. They are just quoting other sources and try to put two and two together and end up with three."

Whois shows Gizmondolive.com was registered by Domains by Proxy, Inc., an anonymous web domain registration system designed to hide the identity of the real owner of the site. At this time, the owner of Gizmondolive.com remains unknown. Meanwhile, Gizmondo.com, the actual domain in which any of this would have actually happened, remains parked and in the property of Gizmondo Europe Ltd. (which presumably is owned by the company's debt liquidators.)

So yes, the November 2007 quote by Freer is allegedly real. As another source, Swedish IT journalist Joacim Melin, puts it: "in plain English, he [Freer] is probably bullshitting to attract any kind of venture capitalist" just like they did with the original Gizmondo. The rest, however, is just castles in the air and speculation at this point.

Our guess, looking at the evidence, is that the site was made by some joker following up the November 2007 quote. But who knows, maybe the next Vapormondo will have "psychic powers," as they say. In either case, with the history above, don't count on this happening. And good riddance, is all I can say.

UPDATE: In addition to all this, reader Sean sent us this flash template, which apparently was used in the the Gizmondolive.com animation and further shows that it's probably the job of a prankster.

[Realtid.se, Dina Pengar and ekonominyheterna - In Swedish. Additional sources: MoneyWeek]

Afternoon News: HP and Compaq Laptops May Brick, Comcast and DirecTV Have a Catfight, I Weep For My Home Town and More

Benny Goldman — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:59:00 EST

• A security researcher published code that is capable of ~~bricking~~ corrupting Windows boot sectors on most HP and Compaq laptops. That doesn't sound too good. [Slashdot]
• Microsoft continues to rename everything in sight, this time folding IPTV, HD DVD, and Media Center into one group called Connected TV. [News.com]
• Comcast settled a lawsuit with DirecTV about the latter's hissy fit over an ad campaign last spring. Terms of the settlement were not disclosed, but from the sound of it, Comcast came out on top. However, when anything involves these two companies, does anyone really come out on top? [Ars Technica]
• THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS LOSE!!!...At a chance to show their last game to Time Warner Cable customers after TWC would not agree to binding arbitration with the NFL. Gotcha! [Consumerist]
• Finally, stepping out of the gadget world for a second, here's something that happened in my home city of Detroit. A bus driver transporting special needs students was arrested for soliciting an undercover cop for prostitution at 7 in the morning! It's funny because it's tragic! [Detroit News]

UK iPhone Launching with 1.1.2 Firmware, Jailbreak Broken

Mark Wilson — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 22:45:12 EDT

T3 got their hands on the new European iPhone, and to their delight (and dismay), the phone is pre-installed with firmware 1.1.2—which is newer than the 1.1.1 firmware we currently have in the States. Believe it or not, it's actually packing some new features. But before you ask, their early testing shows that current Jailbreak software is no longer functional. So that whole saga continues!

The biggest standard consumer-oriented change is probably that the phone supports 12 languages out of the box, along with special keyboards for French and German languages (we guess that the other languages see a more limited level of support).

There's also bundled free access to The Cloud Wi-Fi hotspots, which we've already seen in the European iPod Touch.

And like we said, no more iPhone hacking for a little while. [t3]

Sha-Poopie, Telescoping Dog Doo Catcher

Mark Wilson — Sun, 20 May 2007 10:58:23 EDT

In a web exclusive, Solutions is offering the $20 Sha-Poopie, an extending doggie doo catcher. Recommended use instructions include holding the pole "just so" while your dog does his business. Then, carefully, one pushes the poopie end into the ground to collapse the pole. Then, carfullyer, one places the lid on the bowl. Meanwhile, your dog wonders what has happened to his loyal owner and friend.

Additional specs worth noting:

Each cup holds up to 30 cubic inches of volume; recommended for dogs up to 65 pounds.

So if you dog is larger than 65 pounds, you're gonna need a bigger Sha-Poopie. – Mark Wilson

Product Page [via coolestgadgets]

Dealzmodo Weird Combo of the Day: Cheap Xbox 360 with Random Free Crap

Travis Hudson — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 11:45:00 EDT

Maybe Office Depot is just clearing out all of their old junk, including the Xbox 360 Premium, or maybe there is a missing connection between all of this junk that I just can't see. Add the Xbox 360 Premium system to your cart and apply coupon code 95938435 for an instant 15% off, bringing the price down to $340. Then it starts getting funky. Use coupon code 038065207 for a free Bluetooth wireless headset, 027283925 for a free Hi-Fi CD stereo radio, 099288885 for a retro cold/warm mini refrigerator and 079176844 for a Padfolio with accessories. I need the CSI crew to figure out the link between all of this odd junk. –Travis Hudson

Product Page [Via Slickdealz]

Sony Compact Flash Memory is Real!

Travis Hudson — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:45:20 EDT

If you didn't believe me the first time, well here it is. See those icicles? Yeah, hell is freezing over. Here is an actual picture of the Sony Compact Flash (yes, you read that right) memory card. They actually gave in! It is now available in sizes up to 4GB. *head explodes* –Travis Hudson

Sony unveils CompactFlash range [Pocket-Lint]

Rubik's Revolution: Crapping All Over 2 Classic Games

Travis Hudson — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 20:00:46 EDT

Imagine your two most beloved childhood games. Now imagine them mating and producing a deformed child. That is what the Rubik's Revolution is—the deformed love child of the classic Rubik's Cube and color/sound game, Simon. They took all of the puzzle out of the Rubik's Cube by not allowing the blocks to rotate. There are supposedly six different color and light games that the Rubik's Crapolution can play, but they are all pretty much the same thing: sound matching, color matching and pattern matching. Thanks for defecating all over my childhood, Rubik's Revolution. Jump to see a video of children, who obviously don't know any better, actually playing with the toy.

Don't waste your $20 on this toy later this summer when it is released.–Travis Hudson

Product Page

The Official "Will You Marry Me?" Optical Mouse

Matt Buchanan — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:32:54 EST

Ah, the North Hall, the ghetto of CES. Home of Asian OEMs, where you can find all kinds of crap that you neither want nor need. Take for instance, the GTMS-3000 Mini Finger Optical Mouse from Guann Tau. With the "ergonomic and humanization design" touted by its flyer, you simply slip the mouse's strap over your finger and point the optical sensor downward. It has a tracking resolution of 400/800 dpi and gives you a little over a meter of cable to work with. As you can see, the one I played with was pink (though they claim it's red), but it also comes in black and blue. Unfortunately, it wasn't hooked up to a computer so I can't really comment on how well it worked. It did feel awkward, though. And cheap. So I expect some version of this to show up in Radio Shack by the end of the year. – Matt Buchanan

CES 2007 [Gizmodo]

ClamperPod: When Crappy Gadgets Go...Crappier

Mark Wilson — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:50:17 EST

Every once in a while, we get an absolutely terrible product tipped to us by a shady manufacturer...that isn't even new. If the invention itself didn't naturally border on parody, there are plenty of telltale signs. Notice the lazy yet cheesy slogan, "You can always find something to clamp to!" Notice the lazy yet clearly made-up testimonials, "This is a "James Bond" gadget, wow!" (That helpful nugget of wisdom is attributed to Mr. Mario.)

But the ClamperPod isn't a parody, or even intended as parody. The ClamperPod is available for $16.95 on a site filled with other legitimately shoddy camera accessories. And then you realize the Internet is but a conglomerate of dreams, most of them pitiful. – Mark Wilson

Product Page