This. Is. Oh god. Let's all pop an Ambien and watch Mr. Rogers explain how the Crayola factory line works, friends: Or, if you are like Mr. Rogers, some acid will work too.
We're all kind of old. It's okay! Happens to everyone. And while our collective childlike wonder at the world has been gradually erased by the realities of Life, there are still a few simple things that wield the power to make us go "Ooooh." Crayons are kind of like that.
There's still no robot that can successfully fake unconditional love or a child's innocent laughter. But now, thanks to a team of German tinkerers, there is one that can emulate a child's uninvited wall art.
A long, long time ago, in a land where people had yet to even ponder words like "Reddit" and "Twitter," a bright-eyed arts and crafts company decided to embrace this crazy thing called the information superhighway. The year was 1997, and that company was Crayola. The results are absolutely glorious.
Today's high-resolution displays mean we don't see pixelated images that often anymore. And let's face it, once the colored pencil enters your life, you rarely pick up a crayon ever again. Except for nostalgia's sake, which these pixelated crayons have in spades.
What is this sorcery? Lego bricks that can draw? It's like, you know, magic. Colorful sweet magic that I want to lick.
On the left, a fine selection of Roseart crayons left in the sun for over 12 hours. Barely a trickle, I'm sure you'll agree. On the right, the damage of just 3.5hours' sun on a pack of Crayolas is evident.
At least that's what the creator of this product hopes your child will say when they get these crayons, which are labeled with the actual chemical used to give each colored wax stick its hue.
Here's an idea I can get behind. Edible crayons! Luxirare created a box of eight colors (flavors?), using household ingredients such as nuts, sesame seeds and melted marshmallow for the white crayon.
He'd been working on them for six years, but John Coker successfully launched his Crayola crayon rockets in the Nevada desert. Only four of the eight worked properly, but they managed to soar to 2,928 feet.
You are familiar with drawing and crayons, but Christian Faur is taking a different approach to the medium. He uses hundreds of thousands of individual crayons to produce a single, pixelated image.
Get your child started early on his hobby with the Crayola EZ Grip Camera, a camera that has grips on either side for EZ gripping. Much better than a normal camera, this EZ cam comes with proprietary software with a "write a story" template to create storyboards out of pics your kids shoot, printable frames, and…
Close your eyes, think "Crayon" and the first thing that occurs to you isn't the bright yellow box but the smell: part puke n' earwax, part unbridled creativity. Now you can wear that essence, in the form of Demeter's Crayon Cologne. At $19 an ounce, you better hope the message you're giving off is Raw Sienna, not…
With the dollar being what it is right now, it's no wonder that each of these Polish crayons costs $2.50. That's American, not Canadian. I remember when you used to be able to go to Poland and buy a Soviet-made Trabant for $4.50 and an Archie comic in Spanish. Those days are gone.