As you can see in the sample videos above, sometimes we choose to make bionic monkeys and insects. Truly, it's the weirdest of the weird sciences. Check out Wired for the complete list. [Wired]

Yes, that means saying goodbye to Aimee Mullins. She was with us for three essays, all of which dealt with issues of prostheses from unexpected perspectives, that few of us will soon forget. In case you missed any, have a look:

• Is Choosing a Prosthesis So Different than Picking a Pair of Glasses?
• Racing on Carbon Fiber Legs: How Abled Should We Be?
• Normal Was Never Cool: Inception of Perception

Of course, what we really tried to explore is the notion that "prosthetics" aren't just carbon fiber limbs. Is a smartphone with a Bluetooth headset anything but? Using technology to augment ourselves physically and mentally is now a regular part of our agenda, and will be more and more integral to our selves in the coming decades, from implantable computers to programming our body's biological robots to do our bidding.

A big thanks to Aimee Mullins, Marc Hodosh at TEDMED and all of the other contributors and experts who joined us this week:

• Robot expert and author Daniel H. Wilson - Me and My Exoskeleton: The Trick to Super Strength
• Michael Specter, author and science writer at The New Yorker - Synthetic Biology: Why Not Pursuing Crazy Biotech Is Dangerous
• Author Anna Jane Grossman - Psychic Powers, Cochlear Implants, and My Bionic Ex-Boyfriend
• Dr. Debby Herbenick, author and sexologist at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University - Becoming a Sexual Cyborg (NSFW)

And in case all of that wasn't enough, to read all of the stories from This Cyborg Life, use this link.

Meet Ged Galvin, a 55-year-old chap from Barnsley, south Yorkshire, who is currently in possession of a very special remote control. A remote control that, when engaged, controls Galvin's bowels and allows him to go to the bathroom with dignity. Dignity that was, sadly, robbed from him in the wake of a horrific motorcycle accident that nearly killed him.

At first, the operation that saved his life left him unable to control his bowels. That meant a colostomy bag and all the inconvenience and potential embarrassment that comes with such an arrangement. But then in stepped more doctors. They had a plan. They could rebuild him, make his sphincter stronger. And that's exactly what they did.

Using muscle from Galvin's knee, the doctors wrapped his sphincter muscle and attached a number of electrodes to the muscle nerves. Enter the remote control, which Galvin compares to a chubby cellphone, and bowel function was restored. It's as easy as an on/off switch, he said in an interview with the Telegraph, "just like switching on the TV."

Britain is calling him the man with the bionic bottom, and he's just fine with that. After all, he could be dead. This is better, and while he's not as beautiful as guest editor Aimee Mullins, he's a great fit for This Cyborg Life, and I wish him well. [Telegraph via Geekologie]

Remember handwriting? We have all but abandoned it, but the torch is being taken up by robots like Kuka, who has been put to work writing out copies of the Martin Luther bible. [BotJunkie]
Developed by Aberystwyth University and the University of Cambridge, Adam the robot was the first machine to independently discover new knowledge.

Using artificial intelligence, Adam hypothesized that certain genes in baker's yeast code for specific enzymes which catalyse biochemical reactions in yeast. The robot then devised experiments to test these predictions, ran the experiments using laboratory robotics, interpreted the results and repeated the cycle.

The results of the experiment were later replicated and confirmed by a team of human scientists. So, it appears that computers are not only doing our calculations, but they have begun thinking for us as well. [Scientific Blogging and Link]
Are you lactose intolerant? Do you have frequent heartburn or constipation? Perhaps one day your defective digestion system could be replaced with a more advanced version of the Cloaca machine. This thing simulates actual human digestion and, in the end, produces a turd you would be proud of. [Cloaca via Link]
Dishwashers have been around for decades, but we still have to physically put the dishes into the machine. This is completely unacceptable. Panasonic's robot takes care of the entire cleaning process from start to finish. [Link]
Seriously, what don't smartphones do for us these days? At the most basic level, these phones are how we communicate, how we entertain ourselves and how we gather information. Thanks to apps, smartphones are taking on even greater roles—like helping us keep our girlfriends happy without actually having to do any work. Girlfriend Keeper sends automatic texts and emails to your significant other depending on the intensity of your relationship. [Girlfriend Keeper]
If you are tired of your co-workers being promoted over you, just wait until a robot becomes your new boss. JAST or the "Teamworkbot" has the ability to observe and mimic human behavior. As you will see in this video, JAST already knows how to complete the task, so it observes the human's actions, anticipates his next move and dresses him down when he gets it wrong. [Link]
I'm pretty sure that allowing robots to take a critical role in surgery qualifies as crossing a Rubicon with respect to our level of trust in machines. The Da VInci robot enables a surgeon sitting at a console to control movements and equiptment with greater precision—resulting in a procedure that is minimally invasive. [Wikipedia]
It's only a matter of time before technology becomes advanced enough to allow lazy parents to turn over the duties of child-rearing to robots. In fact, it's already happening in Japan where robots like Tmsuk babysit kids in shopping malls thanks to RFID badges. They even have robot teachers like Saya that terrify elementary schoolchildren into doing their work.
The Affective Intelligent Driving Agent (AIDA) was developed by MIT to help drivers navigate, bitch about their driving when necessary, and keep them company on long trips.

"When it merges knowledge about the city with an understanding of the driver's priorities and needs, AIDA can make important inferences," explains Assaf Biderman, associate director of the SENSEable City Lab. "Within a week AIDA will have figured out your home and work location. Soon afterwards the system will be able to direct you to your preferred grocery store, suggesting a route that avoids a street fair-induced traffic jam. On the way AIDA might recommend a stop to fill up your tank, upon noticing that you are getting low on gas," says Biderman. "AIDA can also give you feedback on your driving, helping you achieve more energy efficiency and safer behavior."

[MIT via Link]
While the AIDA robot helps you navigate, there are plenty of engineers working on cars that do all of the driving for you. Chevy's "Boss" Tahoe is one of the higher profile projects that have come out in recent years, winning the DARPA Urban Challenge in 2007 after successfully navigating a 60-mile course littered with obstacles. [Link]

Your heart can beat 3 billion times in your lifetime without maintenance—that's a performance spec that no motor can match. Tens of trillions of cells inside you undergo constant death and regeneration. And your brain juggles countless autonomic and cognitive processes without so much as a status bar. But it was just eight years ago that we decoded our genome, seizing the blueprints for ourselves. We're just starting to understand this machine enough to tinker with it. And Man being Man, we need to tinker.

Techie people like new toys. In the future that will mean everything from artificial limbs that perform better than the originals to benevolent viruses that recode the software of the human body. And as the gadget obsessed, we'd be the ones most likely to sign up first. And to go high end, cutting edge.

Last year I got lasik, and sprung for all the upgrades. Like the cornea mapping system to correct sector by sector aberrations on my eye, the same tech used to remap the flaws in Hubble telescope's glass. And the laser cut instead of the scalpel, which reduces night halos. Everyone else attending the mandatory pre-surgery briefing went budget. But when it comes to our bodies and minds, the gadget-minded think of our flesh and soul as extensible and upgradable with only with the best.

For a far more interesting story, we are lucky to have an amazing guest editor with us this week named Aimee Mulllins—Aimee was born without fibulae in both legs and her doctors decided to amputate her legs below the knees to give her a chance to walk with artificial legs. Eventually, she became the first woman with a disability to compete in the NCAA using carbon fiber equipment modeled after the hind legs of a cheetah. She's also been voted as people magazine's 50 most beautiful people in the world and, at 17, was the youngest person to hold top secret Pentagon security clearance. Some might classify Aimee as handicapped, but I'd call her enhanced. I hope she can share with us what its like to depend on her gear and have it change the way we live and the conditions we're born with.

Through the week, we'll hear from other experts too:

• Daniel H. Wilson, author of How To Survive a Robot Uprising, will be writing about his experiences searching for super-powered strength.

• Sexologist Debby Herbenick will discuss some of the upgrades going on below the belt.

• Our own Mark Wilson, who spent a week hearing about the outer edges and most pressing needs of health science at the TEDMED conference in San Diego, will share his encounters with the stars of organ growing, genome mapping, human body imaging and more.

• In a Q&A with The New Yorker's Michael Specter, we'll see why it's more dangerous to not embark on the paths of genetic and viral manipulation than to follow them to their most unnerving ends.

This week, Gizmodo will be exploring the enhanced human future. We're calling it This Cyborg Life. And its all about what happens when we treat our body less as a holy object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine. Even if we can't replicate it—yet—we can make it better.

Readers and writers and editors for other periodicals and books: if you've got old or new stories that would fit into our theme week, please let me know! We'd love to link you.

Better still, for squeamish emergency room pansies like myself, this is a "brief" outpatient procedure, say the inventors at VisionCare Ophthalmic Technologies.

Just pop a telescope in your bad eye and you'll be avoiding home furniture by the evening. Well, after a round of intense physical therapy anyway. It seems the new vision takes some getting used to, although none of the 200 patients who tested this over the past five years reported any falling down or injury, said Dr. Henry Hudson, a retina specialist in Tuscon.

And while the devices won't allow patients to view faraway stars (not that powerful), they will allow them to see partial faces where there was once a gaping hole in their vision. "People can use it to recognize faces in a social setting," said Dr. Janet P. Szlyk. "That's a huge advance."

A Food and Drug Administration advisory panel gave the tele-eyes their unanimous approval in March, and the full board is expected to give its blessing later this year. Europe is already using it. [NYT via Nick Bilton's Twitter]

No, seriously, cyborg crickets. This is a good thing!

Why? Simple. When a building collapses, say from an earthquake or a terrorist bombing, survivors are often trapped in the rubble. Sometimes they're rescued, and sometimes, due to the nature of being buried alive under tons and even tonnes of rock (something we do lose sleep over), they aren't.

Enter the cyborg crickets. What the Pentagon hopes to do is make these six-legged pests into chemical sniffers and eventually even human sniffers when catastrophe strikes.

They'll do this by implanting electrodes into winged insects to control their wing muscles. The inaugural class of crickets, cicadas and katydids are already being worked on as I type this, so that their usual calls and communication will instead only occur in the presence of certain chemicals.

Additionally, scientists would "install" an acoustic sensor on our new six-legged saviors that's "designed to respond to the altered calls of other insects." Ultimately, this final modification would ensure a cascade effect amongst the insects, so that their signals are eventually picked up by ground-based human-controlled transceivers.

So the next time you're trapped in a collapsed building, don't crush that little guy who's chirping madly into your ear. He may very well be trying to save your life. [New Scientist]

I strapped on Honda's fresh-from-the-labs Stride Management Assist and Bodyweight Support Assist rigs, and both devices made me feel totally unstoppable, albeit in a goofy sort of way. The whole time I felt the need to go do something great, like go on a cross-country jog or blast into outer space to join a robot colony.

I'm definitely not the target demographic for either device, which Honda's Fundamental Research Institute hopes will help mobilize and rehabilitate Japan's rapidly aging population or lessen the leg fatigue of factory workers who stand and crouch for hours on end. But of course, this didn't stop me from jumping at the opportunity to strap them on and stomp around; this is the first time Honda's prototypes have been presented on U.S. soil.

Stemming directly from Asimo research, Honda's learned so much about how bipeds walk that they can now produce devices that react to human motion in real time to support the motion of walking, using just a few simple sensors each. The magic is in the processing software which was refined with Asimo.

The first one I strapped on, the Bodyweight Support Assist (the one with the saddle) reduces the load on the user's legs to help with physically demanding activities. This one was definitely a bit more cumbersome to wear, but aside from riding up your crotch a bit (it doesn't exert upward pressure, much to Mahoney's relief), the experience is pretty cool. The system operates using just two tread sensors in the soles of the sweet built-in Velcro sneakers and two lift sensors in the legs which register the upward motion of your stride, as well as the orientation. There is zero delay, and you never feel like the device is controlling your movement. It reacted instantly to my motions and enhanced everything I did, like an exoskeleton.

Mundane activities like walking up the stairs and crouching down suddenly became fun and much easier—the saddle provides anywhere from 6.5 to 18 pounds of support when you lean back in it, which isn't enough to sit down on, obviously, but it's certainly noticeable and makes crouching easier. Personally, I had a little issue navigating the stairs and nearly fell backwards, as you can see in the video. Apparently my feet were too small for the sneaker sensors to pick up properly, making the whole device jerk my legs around more than was expected on the stairs. But even Asimo takes a tumble now and then, so wearing his legs, it was only natural that I had a stumble at some point. But when the shoes fit, the experience is absolutely natural.

Second was The Stride Management Assist, which straps on like a belaying harness and weighs practically nothing. It regulates the person's stride and walking pace, making walking much easier for the elderly or disabled while still building up their own muscles. The device was by no means discreet looking, but frolicking around in it felt very natural—just better, as my movements were enhanced almost immediately. The robo hip-huggers definitely perked up my posture and made me move around more confidently, giving gentle support to my legs during all parts of my stride. Walking up and down stairs, you can feel the complex processing involved, with more support given on the way up than on the way down.

Both devices have a sleek look, which Honda hopes to refine even further as they reduce the weight. Battery life for each is around two hours on a single charge, which will also get better as batteries get lighter. Even though Honda's tested both devices in real-world scenarious—the Stride Management Assist in a hospital, and the Bodyweight Support Assist in one of their factories in Saitama, there is no timeline for actual retail availability, but Honda does intend to come up with a finished product for sale eventually.

Which means most people will have to go on dreaming of the cyborg life, but hopefully not for much longer.

It also, one would think, looks pretty awesome to wear. All we have to go on now are these illustrations, but I would love to see this in actual use. The device has finished clinical trials, and experts on ophthalmic devices have unanimously recommended FDA approval. Amazing stuff.

[VisionCare via Medgadget]

He's built with a pair of metal rods that run down his face, and over forty screws are bolted to his head holding his jaw and skull together.

Surgeons were forced to construct the biotechnological terror now known as Robo-Croc after a car crushed his formerly ordinary-but-endangered crocodile head last year. He's not eaten in three months. They're hoping that by reinforcing his snout and reconstructing his head and face with a similar texture, they can get him to eat again.

Perhaps they should start with one-handed pirates that have cybernetic limbs. I wonder if he's still going to get his brains scrambled by magnets, though? [Telegraph]

The first part of the video would seem to show that initial reports of the experiment's success were overblown—the bug is pretty much just switched on and off, tethered to a string like so many unlucky June bugs. The experiments do get quite a bit more advanced, with enough fairly fine directional control to show that flying one of these beetles around like an R/C plane isn't out of the questions.

In these videos the beetle is never fully untethered, and I imagine such a demonstration would look a bit less like an "enhanced experimentation technique" and more like a small-scale air-disaster. The most important question won't be relevant to our generation(s), but the next: CYBORG DEATH BEETLES? The new HotWheels? [Technology Review—Thanks, Robert]

The first part of that, the true part, represents a huge step in the mechanical control of living things. It's far from the first foray into insect mind control, but by far the most precise—this specimen, commanded by six radio-actuated electrodes on the beetle's muscles and brain, could be piloted around the room like a tiny RC plane.

The hardware isn't much of a burden for the beetle, which is capable of taking flight with more than twice the 1.3g mass of the apparatus on board. The remaining payload will probably be filled with camera gear, as this project is funded by DARPA (natch) for surveillance purposes.

Unfortunately there's no video of the demo yet, but we have been furnished with this unintentionally funny picture of the event, which may or may not contain the bug in question. Can you spot it? [Tech-on]

When stimulated with a drug, the neurons send signals around the circuit. "By changing the width of the bridges, the researchers are able to control how many axons link to the neuron island, and tune their device to behave like an AND gate."

But what are the benefits? While there are doubters about whether brain "circuits" actually resemble logic gates, the researchers involved with the project believe that brain-cell logic circuits could bridge the gap between computers and the nervous system. That would give pasty weak nerds hope that they could rise up one day as a pasty, yet powerful race of cyborgs. [New Scientist]

For people with retinal diseases like acute macular degeneration or retinitis pigmentosa, vision is impared because the retina's photo-sensing cells become unreceptive to light; however, the nerves leading from the eye to the brain (the most Monster cables) are generally left in good shape. Implants like this one stimulate the sleepy retina cells with electric current, which is generated from the wirelessly-powered coil surrounding the iris and processed by a microcontroller in the tiny titanium case that sits on the outside of the eyeball.

This iteration is the first to have components small enough to be mostly external, which is less complicated from a bio-rejection standpoint. So to go where lasers can't, hopefully Eye 3.0 tech like this will pick up the slack. [Technology Review]

He said Intel's research labs are already looking at human-machine interfaces and examining future implications to computing with some promising changes coming much sooner than expected.

"The industry has taken much greater strides than anyone ever imagined 40 years ago," Rattner said. "There is speculation that we may be approaching an inflection point where the rate of technology advancements is accelerating at an exponential rate, and machines could even overtake humans in their ability to reason, in the not so distant future."

Excellent, Intel, While simple math can show computers crushing our intellect in no time, it's very comforting when the world's leading microprocessor developer confirms it. You'd just better sell me faster chips than the machines. I've been an excellent customer. [Intel via bbGadgets]