Yes, the ad wizards at Jerry Jones Heavy Manufacturing Concern, LLC, decided that their eleventy-billion dollar show palace, $14 hamburgers, live sex shows (NSFW), cheerleaders, and "Party Passes" (oh, and an NFL game) would not be enough to entertain the 80,000 people who bothered to show up for the 'Boys latest December nightmare. So at the start of the second half against the Chargers, they turned the 160' by 90' superstructure over midfield into a 3-D movie theater so that fans in attendance could experience the wonder of football with length, width and depth! It's like you're actually there!

Now stop and think about this for a second, since no one who works for the organization apparently did. In order to see 3-D images on a television, you need to wear special glasses—glasses that impair your vision of the real, physical world around you. This means that the Cowboys were literally asking fans to ignore the actual live football game taking place before their very eyes, so that they could watch it on television instead. For $300 a ticket. Because that would be more "realistic." The effect certainly is mind boggling.

Since many fans chose not to put on (or couldn't figure out?) the stupid glasses, the video replay board became a blurry red and blue mess to their eyes. According to reports, the loudest cheer of the day came when they finally shut it off halfway through the third quarter.

Of course, the dirty secret of JerryWorld's massive video board is that it so overshadows the playing field that most fans end up staring at it anyway, rather than the flesh-and-blood players on the field in front of them. (Granted, some don't have any choice.) I'm sure that thought will comfort DeMarcus Ware when he wakes up from his coma.

It's hard to see what Dallas Cowboys saw in 3D call [Dallas Morning News]
3D experiment falls flat at Cowboys Stadium [PFT]
Cowboys Stadium 3D scoreboard experiment doesn't go so well, turned off in less than seven minutes [Second image via Engadget]
"3-D" a "3-Dud" at Cowboys Stadium [WPMT]

Apparently the gamer who masterminded this hedonistic joyride was Steve Fatone, brother of *NSYNC's Joey and music video director for luminaries like, um, the Jonas Brothers. So maybe his taste in music is suspect, but we think we just might get along with him anyway, after this indulgence. [Engadget]

The massive display weighs 600 tons, is 180 feet long and 72 feet tall. It's made of 10.5 million LEDs. When replays are shown, they are automatically made into slow motion. More than ten minutes of direct exposure will render a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader sterile. Every fan featured on the screen will get a million dollars deposited into an account of their choice. You can see it in motion here. [Dallas News]

Update: Reader Bob tells me that the current largest screen isn't the one in Japan, but one at the Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City. Thanks Bob! [Kansas City]