Constructed of PVC and vinyl, the 1, 2 and 3-seaters are intended not so much as pool novelties as permanant living room installations. Maybe that's why Blofield starts the pricing at $532 and inflates it all the way to $950 for their largest pieces.

Seriously, this is balloon furniture made of carcinogens. $1000?? The only possibly worthwhile use would be to fill a chair with helium to tether yourself over a football stadium to catch a free game.

...OK, so maybe Blofield has an unbelievably awesome idea after all. [Blofield via Cool Hunting]

Loaded with a variety of multicolored LEDs, you can change the hue of the luminotherapy bed with the touch of a remote. The resulting colors, such as pink, blue and green will make your lover glow with all the vibrancy of a Star Trek Original Series alien babe. Well, that, or they'll give you night terrors of being stuck on a Cylon base ship (before they got all lovey hippie on the humans) or a painfully hipster sushi joint. [phillipe boulet via Unplggd]

The Coffin Couch, priced at a moderate $3,500, is the absolute most practical way to pretend that you sleep in the box of a dead man. While she'll appreciate seeing your reanimated body sleep lifelessly in its eternal non-slumber, you'll enjoy the foam and metal spring cushion that can be upholstered in purple, red, or black. Don't seduce vampire fetishists just to let your back go to shit. Invest in the quality tools necessary to complete the job.

Also, be sure to pick up lots of cherry Kool-Aid. If she points out that it's thin, just say that you drink skim to watch your figure. [Etsy via boingboing]

Think about it. You could be sitting around a table with a bunch of people in suits who you've never met (and quite frankly, don't believe exist for any purpose on this earth other than making awkward dinner conversation), OR, you could be taking tequila shots off the bride along with a Party Pump chaser.

Constructed of "party-safe plastic," the transparent look will blend perfectly with the inlaws' insistence on crystal. Plus, at just $25 a pop, it makes for a cheaper table centerpiece that dumb flowers.

At least, that's what I've convinced Jason. [Taylor Gifts via Nerd Approved]

Imagine, if you will, standing behind a legion of weather proof, poly-resin rodents that operate off free energy. What in the world would not be mine for the taking, as presidents and kings alike bowed to the power of the amber LEDs or simply broke into tears at the unparalleled beauty of 3,000 squirrel soldiers all adorned with the same hand-painted finish?

Buy one for $55, two for $90 or 20,000 for $903,800. Trust me, it's a good investment. Few armies come with a complimentary 2-year warranty. [GreenCulture via Nerd Approved]

The Star Trek: Bridge Full Wall Mural is a 6x10 detachable skin that can stick and restick to walls without damaging the paint job. In other words, not only can you decorate a small room without painting; you can decorate a small room to be just like the original Enterprise without painting. Priced at around $185, now only to get the missus wearing that miniskirt/go-go boot combination... [Urban Collector via DVICE]

From designers at Daniel Loves Objects, the At Your Command lamps evoke the intense imagery of a censored orgy filled with a mutant race of man in which skin is made of gold and arms sprout from one's head. They make for a conversation piece that's equally dirty with the lights on or off, and while the lamps are but inanimate objects made of metal, we're not letting them anywhere near our pets. [coroflot via The Design Blog]

The Bazooka Light (along with the uzi, sniper rifle and pistol) is not some plastic novelty. It's an all-metal lamp—one that will feel like a real gun in your child's hands as he or she puts a stop to the Boogie Man's reign of terror once and for all.

Sadly, these lamps are limited edition and probably cost a premium price. But what's the smile of a child worth, their small face beaming in the aura of luminescent weaponry. [Twenty First Gallery via Nerd Approved]

The Playing With Tradition rug by Richard Hutten is a throwback to an era when you didn't dare scroll down a webpage until images were done loading, lest you witness that half-loaded, crudely photoshopped Sandra Bullock release a torrent of lactation upon your screen.

It's not for sale because it's art. Sorry. [booooooom via apartment therapy]

By designer by Sehwan Oh, the Peel Off Lamp's shade is covered in a mosaic pattern that can be pulled away in tiny pre-sliced sections. Even yanking away the plastic pieces at random could create a fairly pleasing and intricate pattern without the need for artistic talent. And with what are surely millions of design combinations, it will only sort of look like your neighbor's lamp, just like you only sort of desire his wife or only sort of examine his trash in search for loose hairs on discarded combs. [sehwanoh Yanko Design]

The $50 Bird Pendant Light by Sweden-based artist Hung Ming Chen is a simple brass fixture that squeezes onto a bare bulb. And while we're guessing it might get a little hot, there's certainly no easier way to half-assedly decorate your basement. Now just to gather the motivation to actually replace that burned out lightbulb first. [UrbanOutfitters via Nerd Approved]

This six-foot marijuana plant, marked down to $190.57 from $224.20, includes five buds and sits in a basket container. The three-foot marijuana plant is $114.07. Or you can just grow your own for free. – Charlie White

Product Page [New Image Plants, via Yahoo News]

We're wondering exactly how this might be better than an old-fashioned wax candle with its charming and unpredictable flame. Perhaps it's a safety issue. All of this exotica comes at a price, too—brace yourself—it's $159.99. You could buy 10 years' worth of candles for that much. Perhaps there are some areas where technology just shouldn't go. – Charlie White

Product Page [Fancylogic, via I4U News]