Feel like trusting someone else to be kind about your porkiness? The Half Truth design has a display on the front where you can't see it, leaving it up to someone else to read it and decide what to tell you. Not sure about the "harming a human" rule: this one may be a relationship-strainer.
Open Secrets doesn't have a display at all, instead transmitting data on your current fatness to someone else's mobile phone. You'd never even have to know the exact figure, which may be quite liberating.
And White Lies is the most devious. The further back on the scales you stand, the lighter you appear, so you can choose how much to let the scales lie to you.

Its nice to see a designer tackling a mundane object like bathroom scales, but I can advocate another weighing tactic to avoid upset: ban scales from your house altogether. Much simpler and cheaper all round. [Alice Wang via Dezeen]

Come to think of it, Coke never did "officially" mention anything about weight loss with this drink, however, when you see the words "the calorie burner" directly above the brand name Enviga, one might be led to believe this could slim you down a bit. Or was that just wishful thinking on our part? But you called it, readers: 62.5% of you said "I call bullshit" in our Gizmodo Enviga poll. – Charlie White

Shocker: Enviga Doesn't Actually Burn Calories [The Consumerist]

Don't be getting out that credit card just yet; the designers say the technology to build the thing is between one and five years away. The electronic ink display technology will be possible between one and five years from now, the low-current photovoltaics specified as its power source will be practical in one to three years, and the embedded sensor grids are also one to three years away.

We're thinking this is almost feasible now, but still cost-prohibitive for incorporation into a consumer product. Great idea for chefs and dieters, too, though. Maybe it could be done with more-conventional tech. – Charlie White

Design Page [Gifintermeer, via Sci Fi Tech]

The Shockulate Vault has a timed lock on top, and if you try to get one of those belly-busting candies or deadly suckweeds out of there before the allotted time is up, you'll be in for a shock.

But what happens when the time is up? All bad things come to those who wait. – Charlie White

Shockolate Vault [TRFJ]

What does this stuff do? Well, nothing, but if you believe Jana, the snake-oil salesmen who move this stuff for a big profit, it's supposed to make you feel less hungry, increase metabolism, and block carbohydrate absorption if you drink a bottle four times a day, a half-hour before you eat. Well, believing is probably enough to make this worthless substance useful about half the time. The placebo effect is a powerful thing.

Soon to be available at 7-Eleven stores, retail pricing is an astonishing $1.80 per 16.9-ounce (.5 liter) bottle, a steep price to pay even if the substance did have magical powers. Who would have ever guessed that water salesmen could extract such windfalls from innocent victims?

Diet Drinking Water [Strange New Products]

Skinny Water costs $39.99 [Amazon]