The gorilla who punched that photographer wasn't drunk

Remember the photo of a "drunk" gorilla that went viral a couple of weeks back? The one that punched a photographer and gave the internet an opportunity to make endless jokes about the gorilla uprising? Turns out, the gorilla wasn't actually drunk. At least if you believe "scientists" who "know stuff" about "biology." » 3/03/15 3:40pm 3/03/15 3:40pm

How to Drink All Night at the Holiday Party and Not Be That Guy

Listen, drinking all night is not healthy. But it's holiday party season, that perfect storm of open bar and all of your colleagues waiting to see who will be this year's obnoxious, puking, passed out and/or dead person at the party. Don't be that guy. » 12/12/14 5:00pm 12/12/14 5:00pm

First off, let's review the science of drunk. In order to survive…

11 Origins of Common Drinking Phrases

There's a lot of slang associated with drinking. Three sheets to the wind. Hair of the dog. On the wagon. We all know them, we all use them, but most of us don't know where they came from or what they really mean. Read on, and you'll be the smartest person at the bar. » 8/08/14 5:05pm 8/08/14 5:05pm

Japanese bar turns passed out drunk people into living billboards

Poking fun at passed out drunk people is a global thing but Japanese bar chain Yaocho took the joke to a different level. The sleeping drunks were framed inside a square of white tape and turned into a PSA billboard with the hashtag #nomisugi—too drunk—written on it. » 5/30/14 1:05pm 5/30/14 1:05pm

How You Can Brew Beer In Your Own Digestive Tract

Imagine: your wife begins to think you’re a closet alcoholic, so she purchases a breathalyzer to test your blood alcohol content (BAC) throughout the day. Your doctors concur with her assessment, thinking you’re sneaking off into dark corners to imbibe without the judging eyes of the world to condemn you. The only… » 10/02/13 4:30am 10/02/13 4:30am

Drunk Idiot Dangles Upside Down from Power Cables

In the list of things you probably should never experience in your life, even if you're sozzled to oblivion, dangling upside down from an active power cable is probably near the top. This very, very drunk man, however, obviously thinks differently. He climbed up a pole and hung upside down a high-voltage power cable… » 4/03/13 2:00am 4/03/13 2:00am

New Nanocapsule Medicine Could Sober You Up in Seconds

Anyone who's ever had a couple of drinks knows that as fun as it can be, sometimes it'd be nice if you could just make all that haze go away, right away. There's no solution for your average drunk yet, but researchers at MIT have managed to put together an injection that can turn a party mouse into a stone-cold sober… » 2/17/13 3:00pm 2/17/13 3:00pm

A Drunk Guy Drove a Tank Inside a House

Imagine yourself sleeping at 3:00 AM on a Friday night. You probably wanted a little peace and quiet before tomorrow's picnic at the park. You're deep in a dream about running barefoot on the beach when SMAAASSSSSHHHH GUNKDAGUNK BOOOM. A drunk man drives a freaking tank inside your house and destroys it. » 1/16/13 9:00pm 1/16/13 9:00pm

The Secrets of Field Sobriety Tests

Have you been drinking tonight, sir? Oh. Crap. If you're in a car, that's not a question you want to hear from a man in uniform. And if the answer is yes, you're in for the worst pop quiz of your life: the field sobriety test. » 4/27/12 5:00pm 4/27/12 5:00pm

Drunk Man Sings Entire Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody In Police Car

This man—let's call him The Dude—got arrested because, according to the police, he was really drunk. But The Dude claimed that he wasn't drunk. That's like, your opinion, man—then proceeded to sing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody to prove his point. » 3/29/12 2:18pm 3/29/12 2:18pm

I'm Getting Drunk While Watching the BCS Championship Game in 3D…

The college football championship game is going on right now and since the whole tech world is at CES, ESPN decided to show off their ESPN 3D channel to a bevy of tech savvy sports fans (or is it sports savvy tech fans?). My job tonight? To get drunk while wearing 3D glasses and watching the most important college… » 1/09/12 9:10pm 1/09/12 9:10pm

Those Drunk RIM Execs Were Insanely Drunk Beyond Our Wildest Dreams

Remember those two guys from RIM who were such drunk assholes, they grounded a plane on the way to China? New details show exactly why they were such a hassle—they were like two shitfaced gorillas. » 12/13/11 9:14am 12/13/11 9:14am

Jackass' Ryan Dunn had Twice the Legal Blood Alcohol Limit Before Fatal…

Pennsylvania police said today that "Jackass" star Ryan Dunn was drunk before crashing his Porsche 911 GT3 on Monday, killing himself and a friend. Tests show he had a blood alcohol level of 0.196%, twice the legal limit. [More >>] » 6/22/11 3:01pm 6/22/11 3:01pm

A Drunk Woman Landed on a Roof After She Was Ejected in a Car Crash

This is insane driving: A woman hit the median of a freeway, went airborne with her car, had the car roll over four times until she was was ejected from her seat and thrown onto the roof. Somehow, she's alive. » 5/17/11 6:40pm 5/17/11 6:40pm

Are You Sure You're Sober Enough To Be Sending That Text?

My greatest alcohol-related fear is that in a drunken stupor I'll text my boss and tell him to do all manner of anatomically-impossible things to himself. » 4/22/11 10:20pm 4/22/11 10:20pm

An App for the Morning After, Which Deletes Those Drunken Status Updates

"Let me see...I cracked open that first bottle of wine at 8pm, so knowing the way I drink I was probably sozzled by 8.30. That means I need to delete my social updates from 8.30 last night to this morning." » 3/21/11 9:40am 3/21/11 9:40am

After Some Brews, Test Your Drunkenness on the Homebrew Breathalyzer…

If Nintendo really wants to step away from its do-gooder family-friendly reputation, it should license this DrunkenNES homebrew game, which houses a breathalyzer inside a cartridge. Coming to a Wii near you soon! » 3/03/11 11:40am 3/03/11 11:40am

How This Drunk Tweet Got Sent From the American Red Cross's Account

Followers of the American Red Cross looking forward to the usual blood drive updates were surprised to find this tweet in their feeds two nights ago. It's not every day the world's largest volunteer services gets "slizzered." » 2/17/11 11:20am 2/17/11 11:20am

So what happened? Was it a malicious hack to make the ARC seem like a bunch of lushes? Nah.… » 2/17/11 11:20am 2/17/11 11:20am

Intoxicating Gifts for the Elegant Imbiber

Shopping for the highest of high-functioning alcoholics can be a tricky proposition. Novelty bottle openers and 12-packs of Pabst don't cut it. For the the guy (or gal) with a sophisticated drinking problem, these gifts are guaranteed to please. » 12/08/10 2:00pm 12/08/10 2:00pm

Another Halloween, Another Dude in a Breathalyzer Costume Busted For…

It's like a tradition. Last year's idiot was 18-year-old James Miller. This year's idiot: 19-year-old Nebraskan Matthew Nieveen, who was arrested on Halloween for driving with a BAC twice the legal limit. While wearing a breathalyzer costume. » 11/03/10 1:45pm 11/03/10 1:45pm