Drunk
”Earth Set to Receive Alien Reply, Invasion in 2015?
If all goes well—or very wrong—Earth may receive a message from aliens from the Altair solar system as early as 2015. Japanese astronomers Hisashi Hirabayashi and Masaki Morimoto sent an email there back in 1983, which was lost and has just been re-discovered by the latter at the Nishi-Harima Astronomical Observatory. Hirabayashi says they were drunk at the time, which explains why some of the 13 71 x 71 pixel images are the molecular formula for ethanol, the kanji characters for "kanpai!" (cheers!), and the English word "toast." Check out some of the pictures and play drunk alien yourself after the jump.
More »
Crutch Vader Avoids Jail, Dark Side Wins Again
District Judge Andrew Straw has given Crutch Vader a "suspended 12 months" jail sentence plus an order to pay $500 to the "victims"—two Darth Vader Given Arrest Warrant, Pleads Guilty to Assault
After Darth Vader kicked a Jedi Master's ass with the Dark Side of the Crutch, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant against the Lord of the Sith. After dictating it, he added: "I hope the force will soon be with him" (really—God save the Judge, Queen, and English humor.) Vader arrived later, pleading guilty to assault. During the trial, however, the court found that the events weren't exactly as we were initially told: the Jedis were actually even more moronic than previously imagined.
More »
Darth Vader Kicks Jedi Master's Ass With Crutch
A drunk guy dressed as Darth Vader, wielding a metal crutch, and probably making sounds like *swwoooshh* and *pew*pew*, assaulted and effectively kicked the ass of the founder of the first Jedi Church of England. The dork, a hairdresser called Barney Jones whose Jedi name is Master Hehol, was beaten down in his garden by the anonymous Vader while he was being interviewed for a documentary. Really. We mean this. The Jedi actually had this to say after the assault:
More »
cellphones
Global St. Patrick's Day Drunk Dialing Competition Starts Tonight!
This is it folks. You have been training your whole adult life for what is about to go down starting tonight at midnight. I'm speaking of course about the 4th Annual St. Patrick's Day Drunk Dialing Competition. All you have to do is get drunk (way ahead of you) and call up the number that the organizers have set up. The funniest message will win up to $1000 in ad revenue from their website. Realistically, you probably won't see much of that money, but drunken college students will surely spin stories about your legend for years to come. Hit the link for the full details. [stpatricksdrunkdial via Laptop Mag]
driving
Driving While Calling is the Same as Driving Drunk?
Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University just confirmed two older research studies, one in 2006 and one in 2003, that says driving while talking is as bad as driving while drunk. How did they reach this conclusion? Brain imaging. Volunteers drove a simulator inside an MRI brain scanner and were asked to determine whether a sentence was true or false. We've got two problems with this study. More »
apple
Steve Jobs Smack Talks Zune, Brings Drunkenness Into It
CNBC's Jim Goldman thought he was engaging in a little harmless name-dropping to Steve Jobs when he mentioned that he and Microsoft's Robbie Bach spoke last week at CES, but Steve Jobs took it another way. When Goldman repeated Bach's statement about how the version 2 Zune was now a worthy alternative to the iPod, Jobs replied, "Was he inebriated? Do you even know anyone who owns a Zune?" Ouch. People excuse Apple's jabs toward Microsoft because they're underdogs in the OS market, but it just seems mean when they do the same in the iPod-dominated portable media player market. [CNBC via Mac Daily News]
ces 2008
Is CES Leaving Las Vegas?
MSNBC reports that rising costs of food and accommodations during CES week could drive the show out of Las Vegas when their contract ends in 2011. [MSNBC]
drunk driving
Xbox Racing Games To Combat Real-Life Drunk Driving
The country that invented Scotch is paying to have virtual billboards implanted in Need for Speed: Carbon, Project Gotham Racing 4 and other titles, telling 15-to-24-year-olds not to drink and drive. At least not in real cars. It's probably okay for them to drink and drive virtual cars, because all they risk there is hitting those virtual "don't drink and drive" billboards. This comes on the heels of the British government putting intelligence-agency employment ads in games like Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent. The Scottish transport minister says that if this $20,000 pilot project is a success, other road-safety messages may soon appear, too. Like "Don't Drive Like You're Playing Need For Speed." [Kotaku]
nadd
Nissan's Concept Doesn't Tolerate Drunk, Sleepy
We talked about the initiative a while ago, but Nissan is working on a new car with a slew of features to stop those who've drank a bit too much from getting behind the wheel. Instead of Breathalyzer proper, the car uses more user-passive indicators. More »
super device
Device Never Loses Your Cell, Though Maybe It Should
One Japanese company is developing a device to help with those moments (because you were drunk) that you might not remember (due to drunkeness) that you set down your phone (to hold another drink) and forgot to pick it up (surprisingly, just due to a general poor memory). The device fits in your pocket and communicates at all times with your phone. When you move outside of 5 meters, it beeps, shakes, and generally annoys you so you don't leave the phone behind. More »
drunk parenting
Beer Mug Night Light Keeps Kids Safe
This is wrong on so many different levels, but Lamps Plus is now selling a night light that comes in the shape of a frosty brew. Traditionally night lights are used for children who are afraid of the dark, so beer isn't really an appropriate theme for kids, but regardless the $15 night light will remind the little tykes who is in the next room over waiting with the belt. More »
drunk as a skunk
Beer Mug Lamp is Deceiving
I told you. This lamp may be a little deceiving for those avid beer drinkers like myself, but it could still be a nice addition to any classy living room. The only downside is that whoever poured this $45 beer mug lamp did a horrible job. Look at all of that head! My beer lighting needs are already satisfied with the Plasma Beer Mug : More »
let's get drunk!
Plasma Beer Mugs Lights Up That Brew
Ahh, Friday. Got to love them, and it is time for my weekly post relating to something or anything beer related (in preparation for the weekend, of course). This week we have a plasma beer mug. It has hollow walls for the plasma gases. The hollow gassed wall get bright and excited upon placing on the charging cradle. You can even direct the plasma around the glass with your fingers. It is available for $25 and will surely take all of the attention away from you at your next gathering. More »
gadgets
Toyota and Nissan Make Drinking and Driving a Little Harder (It's Already Pretty Hard)
Both Toyota and Nissan are trying to come up with a technology in their cars to make drinking and driving impossible. Nissan is thinking of requiring a really long PIN for drivers to enter before their car starts, and Toyota is thinking of placing breathalyzers somewhere in the cabin. Both are interesting, but may not be fool proof, not to mention drunk proof. More »
cellphones








