Microsoft's new "Inside the Apps Lab" video takes the App Store to task for its boatloads of useless apps—a valid point, to be sure, but Microsoft might be living in a glass house here. Or a nonexistent house. Sure, there's tons of bullshit in the app store—there was a legal debate over fart apps, for god's sake—and I like some of the ideas Microsoft's putting forth here. That Virtual Sundial is damnably close to believable, for one thing. But the ad is a plug for Windows Marketplace, which admittedly doesn't have the crap, but only because it also, um, barely exists. Sort of funny, but not enough self-awareness, and so it plops into Remainders. [YouTube]

If you're a big Miles Davis fan, and have somehow missed the news that even when Monster Cable products don't outright suck, they're criminally overpriced, have I got a product for you! The Miles Davis Tribute Set includes Monster Cable's gaudy, gold-plated Miles Davis earbuds, a few accessories, and some kind of deluxe version of Kind of Blue (even though Bitches Brew is better YEAH I SAID IT JAZZ NERDS. DEAL.), all for the outrageously high price of $400! Why's it in Remainders? Screw Monster Cable, that's why. [CrunchGear]

The Street "exclusively" reports what seems to be totally unfounded speculation from an industry analyst: Google is coming out with their own Android smartphone hardware. What evidence is there to back up this theory? Well, um, Google wants lots of people to use Android, and, well...this analyst talked to Google's design partners about it! Design partners who remain anonymous and give absolutely no concrete details to back up a "plan" that runs counter to the overall Android concept! Plus there's this awful, wrong-on-several-levels sentence that acts like a beacon transmitting "WARNING. WARNING. ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER THIS STORY" in Morse Code:

By bypassing the carriers, who keep tight controls over the features and applications that are allowed on phones, Google will presumably offer a device that lets users determine the functions.

Oh right, because somehow a Google-made Android phone would...not need a wireless network? And darn those carriers for crippling Android phones—oh wait that hasn't happened, at all.

In the parlance of our times: Sweet exclusive, bro. [The Street]

The two companies who supply the most vital parts of any ebook reader, Freescale (processor) and E Ink (display) have joined forces in a "development deal" that they say will both lower costs of existing readers and give the option for increased capability in the future. That's pretty sweet and all—it could mean ebook readers finally hit their magic price point, whether it's $200 or $100—but without concrete results, we're keeping this little tidbit in Remainders purgatory. Keep us updated, Free-Ink (get it?). [TechFlash]

Motorola sent out a teaser for their upcoming Verizon Android phone, the Droid, and it uses Verizon's new tagline, "In a world of doesn't, Droid does." (For the record, thanks to Verizon for not saying "iDoesn't."). But the mailer also uses this weird scary monster motif, with a glowing red eye from some kind of hell-creature glaring out at you, and saying "the day of Droid is approaching." I've seen Battlestar Galactica, Motorola, and you're scaring the crap out of me. Unfortunately, there's not any new information on the handset to be found, so this scary promotional tool ends up here in Remainders. [BGR]

Did you guys know the Orionid meteor shower is tonight? I bet you did. You're a smart bunch. I bet I don't even have to tell you that the Orionid meteor shower is actually caused by the Earth passing through the tail of Halley's Comet (which flew by a long time ago, and isn't visible). You probably also know that the best time for viewing is between 1AM and dawn tonight (early early Wednesday morning), and that the best possible time is around 6AM EST (3AM PST). Since you knew all that, I guess this whole thing was a waste of time, which is why it's in Remainders. [Space.com]

Stupid novelty gadgets from Japan are a dime a dozen, and these earbuds are no different. Shaped like a screw, a banana, sushi, and a cat's foot (?), these 'buds don't deserve a full post—but I love how the drawn models look so despondent. Just imagine the art department responsible for this: Somebody made a decision that even their own drawings would be sad to cram half a plastic banana into their also-drawn ears. [CrunchGear]

Disney, whose video sales have sunk along with everyone else's, have come up with a new strategy called Keychest that's actually pretty shrewd, since it accounts for the expansion of viewing platforms beyond just the TV (computer, phone, PMP, etc). Keychest would basically mean that the purchase of a video would include access to that video in the cloud, on any device. So if you buy Up on DVD, it'll come with a code so you can download it at iTunes, and a code so you can stream it from Comcast. It's not a bad idea, but it's been done before: Industry leaders have been working on the very similar DECE project for years now, and it hasn't come to fruition yet. Keychest? Nice idea, but too old to deserve its own post. [WSJ]

We're gonna be talking in-ear earbuds—canalphones, really, or in-ear monitors, if you're snooty—since all the good stuff goes deep into your precious earholes. We aren't talking about headphones because great headphones aren't the most discreet things around—can't defeat physics, children. Unless you derive some sick pleasure from jogging with a pair of giant cans bolted to your head, earbuds are the way to go.

It's All About the Drivers—No, Not Those Kind

Whether you're talking about headphones or earbuds, they work a lot like loudspeakers, just miniaturized. The key element in both are drivers, though earphone drivers are a lot smaller, and do a lot less work to make the same music.

There are two main types of drivers: The a dynamic driver works just like a traditional one in big ol' speaker. The benefit of the dynamic driver is that it produces a nice bass response, though it can be hard to miniaturize.

A balanced armature driver is pretty common in serious in-ear monitors, since it's easy to shrink down. Originally found in hearing aids, it houses a magnetic armature that moves when an electric current runs through the coil, putting pressure on the diaphragm, creating sound. It can be, and often is, paired with a dynamic driver.

Most earbuds just have the one driver, though more and more have multiple drivers. That costs more 'cause it's harder to cram more than one into a tiny casing meant to rest gravity-free in your ear. With multiple drivers also comes a "crossover network," circuitry meant to divide music into different frequencies and route them to the appropriate drivers, an additional payload to stuff into that tight space. Once all that is crammed in, however, multi-driver earbuds typically sound better than single-driver ones, because the woofer, tweeter and mid-range horn are more innately equipped to handle their own domains of sound—from boomy bass to sizzly treble.

Among the least expensive multiple-driver earbuds are Apple's fancier $80 in-ear earbuds, which use two drivers, a tweeter for highs, and another for everything else. It gets more expensive as you creep up. Shure's three-driver SE530 lists for $500 (but can be found for much less). Ultimate Ears' UE-11 Pro, which will run you a ridiculous $1150, come with a correspondingly ridiculous four drivers. That's one for mid-range and one for highs and two for bass.

Some companies opt for a single driver because they think it's better, since there aren't complications with crossover networks, trying to get all the drivers to work together to produce seamless sound. On the other hand, with a single driver, you're asking one driver to do everything: highs, lows and mid-range, says Stereophile senior contributing editor Michael Fremer Fremer. (Yes, that Michael Fremer.) That's why , FutureSonics, for instance, makers of pro monitoring gear, charges so much for their single-driver earbuds. "A really good single-driver can sound really good," says Fremer.

What It's Made Of, How It's Made

Besides more drivers, what you get in pricier earbuds is (surprise, surprise) better materials, finer build quality and a more focused design. Michael Johns, headphones manager for Shure—known for earbuds with MSRP ranging from $100 to $500 but rarely double digits—told me that most of the really cheap ($20) headphones on the market are basically rebranded crap from no-name factories, and that when you buy those with suggested retail pricing between $50 and $100, you're mostly paying for style, not sound. The top-tier brands, of which there are many, tend to design and engineer their own headphones. The expense of that is, unfortunately, passed on to you.

The cost of raw ingredients is also passed to you—the cable material, the magnet behind the diaphragm, the diaphragm material itself, the overall quality of the driver, and the enclosure. (Again, all of the stuff that jacks up the price of higher quality loudspeakers too.) None of that stuff, when it's well made, is cheap. Fremer says, for instance, that better headphones actually use stronger magnets than cheaper headphones. As you might guess, the more powerful the magnet, the higher the cost.

The Fit

With legit in-ear buds, fit matters a lot, because the seal is critical. Not only does a good seal mean less ambient noise infiltrates your ears—allowing you to keep your volume low while still catching the full dynamic range—but an airtight seal is how you get decent bass response. And you want something shoved deep down inside your ear to be comfortable, as well as fit, so there's a lot of different kinds of tips earbud makers have come up with. Besides the standard rubber bulb, there's squishy foam, and the Christmas tree-lookin' triple-flange sleeves. What works best often comes down to your own ears and personal preference, which is why better earbuds come with a ton of tips.

What Do I Buy?

So, uh, what's the sweet spot price for great headphones? If Shure and Fremer had their way, everybody would spend upwards of $200 on their earbuds, but if you twist their arm, they'll agree that $100 is where buds start getting decent. The real trick, according to Fremer, is just getting people to "spend that first hundred bucks."

The law of diminishing returns tends to kick in above that point: The difference between $300 set of buds and a $400 pair is nowhere near the jump from $20 to $100. Even smaller is the difference in models between generations. The best value on the market might be a previous-gen version of Shure's 500 series buds at a cut rate ($290), but if you can find $100 earbuds for 70 bucks, it's even better.

Interestingly, Fremer says what you're looking for in great earbuds is "a relatively flat frequency response so no frequency is accentuated above another," so "the product that sounds the best is usually the one that impresses you the least at first." Buds that tout big bass, for instance, don't actually have better bass, just more of it. (You can always adjust the EQ if you want more bass.)

Whatever you do, for Christ's sake—and yours—ditch the iPod earbuds.

Still something you wanna know? Send questions about buds, tips or hot waitresses who deserve big tips to tips@gizmodo.com, with "Giz Explains" in the subject line.

V-Moda released another pair of in-ear headphones called the Faze, and the spec sheet certainly makes it sound like they can withstand a beating. With aluminum alloy bodies and Kevlar reinforced cabling, I half expect to be able to use them as a zip-line cord (disclaimer: don't try it, you'll get hurt).

V-Moda didn't sacrifice the Faze's looks in exchange for their supposedly solid construction, either. The cans strongly resemble their fashionable precursor, the Vibe, with shiny silver accents on black metal earpieces. But V-Moda has notoriously had some build issues with several of their headphones in the past, so we'll have to test these ourselves to see how they compare. The headphones feature an in-line mic so you can take calls from your cellphone, and even include a 2.5mm adapter for anyone without a 3.5mm headphone jack on their mobile.

You can grab a pair of Fazes today for $50. [Best Buy via iLounge]

We have seen this idea before, but only in concept form (and really more aesthetic than practical). Unfortunately, while consolidating the earbuds into one long cable may help the situation, one cord can still get awfully tangled. The two best solutions? There's the One True Way to tie earbuds together, and the more artsy business card method. Still, we wouldn't say no to a pair of Shures with this zipper implemented. [Lee Washington via Reddit]

What's remarkable (and remarkably Thanko-like) about these is the price: Similarly designed headphones, often not waterproof at all, run for well over $100, while these are only 4280 Yen (about $45). They're waterproof down to 5 meters, which makes them great for workout swimmers (or snorkelers, I guess). Unfortunately, they're Japan-only for now, so we'll have to keep making due with significantly less cool waterproof 'buds. [Thanko via New Launches]

As much as there's nothing more adorable than sharing one pair of earbuds, one bud per person, sometimes you just gotta have the full stereo. Splitterbot is here to keep the cuteness factor up while retaining superior sound quality. You have to pop his head off to reveal the audio-in jack, and then the two pairs of 'phones are plugged directly into the little guy's eyes. That sounds way more grotesque than cute, now that I write it, but probably in practice it's not quite so gruesome. Splitterbot is available for $16, because cuteness demands a slight premium. [Product Page via Nerd Approved]

The patent describes the sharing of device settings, preferences and even media between iPods and iPhones by means of a sort of smart headset, which stores personalizations in a small cache of flash memory. As described, it sounds a bit strange, and its purpose isn't entirely clear: most of the functions are things that fall under the purview of syncing, which is something that most iPod/iPhone users do regularly anyway, and which they have to do when buying a new device anyway, mooting the "it makes transitioning easier" angle.

But for certain settings, it makes some sense: volume and EQ settings, for example, could be kept the same between devices, ensuring a uniform listening experience. It'd be a teeny, tiny feature that most people wouldn't notice, but it's far from implausible. [Unwired View]

Cult of Mac put these earbuds to the test and found that they looked and sounded almost exactly the same as the real deal—right down to the packaging. However, don't go looking for a black market bargain here. The knockoff versions broke after only a week of use. [Cult of Mac via Boing Boing Gadgets]

Incidentally, the rep claimed all of Shure's buds would fit on the Turbines perfectly, in case you hate the pack Monster provides. But I don't think you will—they fit pretty nicely, and I have picky, small earholes that I apparently need to clean, since the buds pretty slimy when I plucked them out.

I suspected they added another driver to round out the sound—and the $250 pricetag, $100 more than the regular Turbines would support that—but apparently it's still a single dynamic driver, just made with a different designed and different materials. I'm interested to see how they stack up in a more comprehensive review scenario than my quick listen against similarly priced multi-driver buds. They'll be out next month. [Monster]

Speaking of noise reduction, all three of their new models, including the AH-C710 and AH-C360 feature a Radial Cascade Damper that reduces noise from touched cables. The AH-NC600 is expected to be available in July for $199 while the lower-end AH-C710 and AH-C360 will be available for $149 and $49 respectively starting in June.

DENON INTRODUCES THREE NEW HIGH-PERFORMANCE HEADPHONES

— New Earbud Models Offer New Level of Comfort and Listening Luxury; Also the Company's First In-Ear Noise-Cancelling Headphones —

Mahwah, NJ – May 11, 2009 - Denon Electronics, one of the world's premier manufacturers of high-quality home entertainment components, today introduced three stylish and high-performance "earbud" in-ear headphone models, bringing the total number of headphones in the company's line to 15. The new additions include the company's first i

n-ear noise-cancelling headphones, Model AH-NC600 (SRP: $199), scheduled for July availability, as well as the AH-C710 (SRP: $149) and AH-C360 (SRP: $49), both scheduled for June availability.

Total Comfort and Style, With Optimum Audio Quality

As with all Denon headphones, the three new models are engineered for total comfort and style, with advanced audio technologies for optimum sound. The new models all feature an ergonomic design that isolates the ear more steadily and comfortably, and also decreases mechanical vibration. A newly developed Hybrid (metal and Elastomer) housing ensures clean sound, and a Radial Cascade Damper reduces noise from touched cables. In addition, all feature a specially designed Acoustic Optimizer that ensures dynamic sound and deep rich bass response, with optimum acoustical characteristics achieved by adjusting the sound pressure balance in front of and behind the diaphragm. For total flexibility, all models come with multiple sizes of comfortable ear tips, extension cables and ear clips to ensure perfect fit for every listener. The new AH-C710 headphones include not only three sizes of silicon ear tips, but also a special "soft-foam" earpiece for added comfort and luxury. They also come with a new specially designed carrying case that features cable management, as well as OFC (oxygen free copper) cables for enhanced sonic performance.
AH-NC600: Denon's First Noise-Cancelling Earbud Headphone

The new luxury AH-NC600 earbud headphones offer music lovers an opportunity to enjoy the ultimate in private listening enjoyment, with a high-quality built-in amplifier and advanced noise-cancelling technologies that reduce

outside ambient noise by 99%. In addition, the sophisticated headphones feature Denon's proprietary Compressed Audio Restorer circuitry. Previously only available in the company's advanced audio/video receivers, this sophisticated circuitry improves the dynamic range and sound quality of compressed audio sources. Superior audio reproduction is further enhanced by high-quality 3.5mm drivers, as well as OFC cables with straight plug and an adjusting slider. An airplane adapter and a specially designed hard carrying case add to their on-the-go convenience. The compact and ingeniously designed case allows users to carry their mobile phones, along with their headphones and all accessories, and lets them prop up their iPod Touch or iPhone devices for easy use while on-the-go. As with the AH-C710 headphones, the AH-NC600 provides three separately sized ear tips, as well as the new soft-foam earpads.
Denon's Full Line of Advanced Headphones

The three new models join Denon's existing line of advanced headphones, including the high-end luxury Model AH-NC732 On-Ear Noise Cancelling Headphones (SRP: $299); three state-of-the-art over-ear models, the AH-D7000 (SRP: $999), the AH-D5000 (SRP: $699) and AH-D2000 (SRP: $349); three on-ear models AH-D1001 (SRP: $149.99), AH-D501K (SRP: $69) and AH-301K (SRP: $49); the compact on-ear model AH-P372K (SRP: $59); and four "earbud" in-ear models, the AH-C751 (SRP: $199), AH-C551 (SRP: $99), AH-C452 (SRP: $69) and AH-C252 ($29).

[Denon]

The Price: As you saw above, these babies are brand new, and list for $230.

The Verdict: $230 is an awful lot to spend on earphones, but as we learned last week, sound matters, and the quality in the $200 range really is twice as good as it is in the $100 range. In fact, in sound testing, the UE700 gave Shure's $300 SE310 earphones a run for their money.

I'm not spoiled, earphone-wise, but I'm not slumming it either—I usually carry Shure SE110s. When the SE115s came out, I had to check them out, and sure enough, what Adrian mentioned about fuller bass is totally true. It's not overpowering, and for the price, they're brilliant, but like all headphones in that $100 range, I still feel like there's something missing, a kind of three dimensionality.

Last night I carefully listened to my favorite songs, spanning many genres—"Bullet and a Target" by Citizen Cope, "California" by Joni Mitchell, "Ms. Jackson" by OutKast, "All This Time" by Sting among others—constantly swapping headphones from UE700 to Shure SE115 to Shure SE310 to listen for the minutest changes in experience. The jump from the SE115 to both more expensive ones was clear, literally. Instruments were more defined, such as the bari sax in the Decemberists' "16 Military Wives," and you could hear more real life behind the recording, such as the buzzing and rustling in "Please Do Not Go" by Violent Femmes.

For a while, though, it was a deadlock between the $230 Ultimate Ears and the $300 Shures, especially since Amazon lists them for under $180 (!). The real breakthrough came when I put on Prince's "7." It has so many layers of percussion and Eastern instrumentation, not to mention vocal harmonies, that it truly benefits from the three dimensionality that only higher-grade audio can manage, and lo, the most 3D experience came from the UE700s. I checked again and again, back and forth, with more songs still, and it was true. I was floored.

There are some downsides to this pair, particularly compared to the Shures. Fit matters when it comes to making the most of good earphones. Because of the way the speakers are arrayed inside the UE700s, they're wider at the opening than the Shures, meaning they may not fit everyone. In addition, they only come with one size of memory-foam cushion (my favorite) and three different sizes of the rubber sealing kind. Shure SE310 comes with like a jillion different "sleeves," and even the SE115s come with six options.

(They do come with a carrying case and an attenuator—pictured below—which limits high-volume bursts, so you can use it on an airplane's sound system without fear of going deaf every time you change the channel or hear the captain come on.)

The other issue that some might care about is cable noise. That's not a buzz or anything, it's the sound you hear when you run your finger along the cable. I didn't notice cable noise while listening to the UE700s, not even when I took a walk with them, but since they do make some noise when you intentionally rub your finger on them, they may be annoying for people who are using them while jogging or aerobically working out. Just a thought, really, but worth noting.

I didn't pit these against every earphone known to man, and I'm interested in seeing how they stack up against our $150 Headphone Battlemodo winner, the Etymotics hf5. But if the performance against Shure's SE310s are any indication, it would handily beat them too. My final judgment is that these are sweet—and worthy of their elevated valuation—but you should wait until they start coming down in price, as all headphones do in time, before plunking down your hard-earned cash for them. [Product Page]

The YI Sound earbuds wrap left and right cables in opposing sides of a zipper, letting wearers easily adjust the point at which they split. The stated purpose of the concept is to reduce cable tangle, but it's not clear how this zipper design actually helps that; if anything, the earphones' ability to pull apart into two full-length wires would exacerbate the problem. That said, the added heft, rigidity and roll-ability of such a design would make it less tangly by nature, so it might be a wash.

But it's not the convenience of an adjustable "Y" or the purported tangle resistance that makes this concept attractive, it's that it actually is attractive. Sure, it's gimmicky, and that integrated volume control doesn't look like it could even work, but this would be the coolest thing to happen to headphone cables since they straightened out. [Yanko]

We're resurrecting this piece in honor of Listening Test, and although we did our testing in November of last year (and a lot has happened since then), the results have held up well. That is, except for one huge exception: The SE115, heir to the legacy of the SE110, has acceded the throne, replacing the SE110 as prince of the sub-$150 earphones and overall king, and inviting a lazy, inconsistent royalty metaphor from one Gizmodo writer.

Listening Test: It's music tech week at Gizmodo.

For those wondering why you would play £59 ($86) for a pair of these earphones when you could customize the equalizer on your own for free, the point to these earbuds are to give you an internally-built equalizer for its specific genre, without having to mess around with the equalizer—essentially, a plug and play:

So for Rock you get a big, warm but tightly controlled bass, with all the high end detail still present, with Jazz you get rhythm and pace, with a perfectly defined soundstage, our classical earphones faithfully reproduce every nuance of the performance, and with the pop earphones you'll get a more dynamic, sharp listening experience with strong vocals and a great beat.

So if classical earphones "faithfully reproduce every nuance of the performance," why don't they just make all earphones like that? Also, I'm not exactly sure I want a pair of earphones that could control the rhythm, pace and beats of a song—it's a little too magical for my liking.

Although these buds are custom tuned to only one genre, Radiopaq claims the earphones are simply optimized for that sound but also work with any other genres of music, just like how although an SUV was built for off-roading, you could still drive it around town. However, because the earbuds come with its genre written on its exterior, my ego's going with the Rock pair no matter how much I secretly love Britney Spears. [Radiopaq via Engadget]

Listening Test: It's music tech week at Gizmodo.

Yes. The SE115's bass driver is so improved, I actually don't want to go back to my SE110s. The SE115s provide a clean resonance in your ears that was previously missing, but not at the cost of overall clarity. Shure says the magic lies in their second-gen Dynamic Microspeaker, previously found in the larger-bodied E2c model, finally shrunken down to fit in earbuds this small.

To test, I went with two songs: Charles Mingus' "Solo Dancer," because it makes use of a subtle, melodic bass in the background and The Bug's "Poison Dart," because it's one of the more in-your-face, bass-heavy tracks to come out in the last five years.

The SE115s outperformed the SE110s in both instances, able to put that extra rumble in your head without losing the nimbleness and the dexterity of the music. Mingus' beefy double bass, in particular, took on new life with the SE115s stuck in my ears—going from a complementary noise, to an instrument demanding to be heard. For the upper register, there's really not much distinction at all, on those tracks and on others with less basso profundo, such as The Beach Boys' "Caroline No." Whether or not you want more low-end will may come down to personal preference, but this is a natural augmentation. Think of it this way: The fuller sounding SE115 simply does a good job demonstrating what's missing from the SE110.

On the technical side, the SE115 has a slightly better frequency response range. I used 20-20000 Hz and 20-200 Hz WAV files to listen for differences between the two sets. I noticed the SE115s rumbled longer on the low end and even squealed at a little higher pitch than the SE110s, but in that upper register, it's probably nitpicking to draw any significant difference.

Externally, these new SE115s share the exact same body and ear cushion options as the SE110s so the comfort factor is identical. The black pair has gold logos instead of silver, and if you're more daring, they also come in red, blue and pink. They both have the same breakaway cable, so you can add the original cellphone-mic extension if you so choose. The lightweight and foam-covered, in-canal drivers have never been a problem for me, but again, it all comes down to personal preference. In any case, at $100, I can't help but champion the SE115s as the best relatively affordable headphones at the moment. [Shure's Product Page with MSRP—shop around for the $100 price]

(Frequency Sweep WAV files are from burninwave.com)

Sanwa's hands-free throat mic looks like a military headset, but it's made for use with your cellphone (which we're assuming isn't part of your black ops kit, but we're not judging). Good for noisy environments and just those times you don't want the cabbie to know about your ass rash, Sanwa's system should be available for import soon. [Sanwa via Akihabara News]

The iPod Plug

While it in some ways seems like an example of a proprietary technology done right (it's solid, supports lots of connection types and has become basically ubiquitous), Old 30-Pin has quite a bit to feel bad about. Consider this: It single-handedly obliterated the non-iPod accessory market. Almost every MP3 player dock, FM transmitter or interfacing device supports this port exclusively—or with some feeble aux plug (cable not included) in the rear. And why shouldn't they? There are more 30-pin-jack iPods out there than there are all other MP3 players combined.

But it means Apple is stuck. An abrupt switch would be a disaster for third parties and customers alike (consider the outcry when the iPhone 3G wasn't compatible with some older 30-pin accessories) and it's not clear what they could switch to. Micro-USB probably doesn't have enough pins for all the various functions the port should serve, and switching to a solution that would, say, force users to connect both a power plug and and audio cable to a dock would seem like a step backwards. But hey, just because it's currently practical and ubiquitous doesn't mean it isn't evil. It's because of you, iPod jack, that my Sansa has about as many docking prospects as the average Giz writer.

Sprint and Verizon's Secret Shame: CDMA

To the end user, CDMA and GSM don't seem very different—Sprint, a CDMA carrier, offers the same services as AT&T, a GSM carrier—except when it comes to how they handle phones.

GSM phones are identified by the SIM card that they carry, which can be moved between phones at the user's will. Not so with America's other wireless standard. Effectively, a CDMA phone is like a GSM phone with the SIM card welded to its socket. Your CDMA phone is permanently locked to your carrier, and your mobile connection is permanently bound to your handset—unless your carrier is kind enough to authorize a transfer to another phone.

The presumably intentional effect is that there's no market for 3rd party hardware in CDMA, which is fine for carriers, shitty for customers. Worst of all, there's no good reason for this. CDMA SIM cards exist. They're called R-UIM cards, but US carriers are in no rush to implement them.

The Battle of the Redundant Audio Formats

There was a time when it wasn't clear which stupid format would reign supreme, Microsoft's WMA or Apple's AAC. [Note: Yes, Apple didn't invent AAC. However, they are the only reason any of us have heard of it.] While each technically brought improved sound quality, they were both bastards born of the same greedy combination: the desire for DRM and the unwillingness to pay MP3 encoder/decoder royalties. Your AACs wouldn't play on your Zen; your WMAs wouldn't work on your iPod; your ATRAC3s wouldn't work on anything. These formats only grew popular because people accidentally used them to rip their music, and later, because they were an unavoidable part of the digital music purchasing process.

With wider format support in new players, the slow death of the all-you-can-download rental WMA stores and Apple's new "our bad!" attitude towards audio DRM, it seems like we're taking a healthy step back to good ole' em-pee-threes. And while iPods will never play WMA, iTunes does convert 'em. And it's nice to see more Microsoft products supporting AAC, which Apple still won't shake off.

A Unique Phone Charger for Every Phone

Even—or rather, especially—when phone plugs were only for electricity, every goddamn manufacturer had their own exclusive, silly connector for dumping current into batteries. Today, little has changed, and as virtually anyone who owns a cellphone knows, this sucks. A lost charger means your phone is out of commission, and because of carrier subsidies, a new charger sometimes costs more than the phone itself did.

And that's how we arrive at the reason for this stupid situation: Unique chargers=$$$ for cellphones makers. This would explain why the first substantive call for standardization came so recently, and why Nokia, Samsung, Motorola, Apple and pretty much everyone else still, in 2008, enforce phone-charger monogamy. And if you think phones are a pain, try finding a replacement charger for your Bluetooth headset. Good luck.

A Raw File By Any Other Name...

R-A-W. If you care about digital photography, these three letters form the most beautiful sound in the English language. Raw images, supported by almost every new DSLR and an increasing number of point-and-shoots, are made up of the 'raw' image data, pulled directly from your camera's sensor, letting you change all kinds of parameters—white balance, exposure and noise reduction, to name a few—instead of letting the camera pick them automatically during the shooting. And you can make infinite changes and tweaks long after the photo has been taken.

It would seem that by now importing raw files should be as easy as transferring JPEGs. Well, it's not. The problem is that almost every camera maker has insisted on using their own slightly different version, meaning that you either have to use your camera's supplied raw conversion software (almost always a steaming pile) or invest in a wide-support program like Photoshop, Aperture or Lightroom—and make sure it has the right compatibility. Come on guys, Adobe gave you a perfectly fine, royalty-free raw format back in 2004. Use it.

So Many Memory Cards

For years, everyone had their own memory card format: Sony products used Memory Sticks, Olympus used xD, Fujifilm used SmartMedia and so on... they all thought they had the heir to the 35mm/CD/Zip Drive throne. It was adorable! Now, it's not. While we were all busy stockpiling one soon-to-be-obsolete memory cards and multi-compatible (bit never totally compatible) readers, most of the electronics industry was aligning itself with a winner.

Two, actually—or maybe three. SD cards (backed by Panasonic) are cheap, compact and capacious and only getting better, with MicroSD as its tiny phone version. Meanwhile, beefier, more durable Compact Flash cards suit the serious photogs. The rest of you: You all do the exact same thing! Please die.

For Our Earphones Only: Non-Standard Headset Jacks

When a little metal trim kept the original iPhone from accepting regular old 3.5mm headphones, a lot of people almost blew a gasket, and rightfully so. It seemed hopeless: Even a phone that was more iPod than handset couldn't resist the allure of proprietary earphones.

Phones have always been terrible for this. The same varied, awkward orifices that charged your old phone probably served as its headset connector too, leaving you stuck with the flimsy, tinny OEM earbuds or an easy-to-lose adapter to deal with. For a while though, it seemed like companies were starting to catch the drift, as standard 3.5mm headphone/mic jacks became more and commonplace in music phones. But a Nokia or two is little comfort; HTC's newest Android phone, a multimedia powerhouse, only has a USB port. Apple's new Shuffle—a friggin' iPod-only works with the supplied earphones or special replacements. Grief ensues.

Sony's Entire Oeuvre

The story of Sony is like an exaggerated summary of the history of proprietary goofs. Sony entering a new market=Sony introducing a new, frustratingly exclusive format, plug, codec or device standard. With audio, it was MiniDiscs and ATRAC; on the PSP, you got UMD; for cameras and other portable devices, the Memory Stick. In video, there was Betamax, Laserdisc, HDV, and now Blu-ray. Yeah, this last one is sorta successful, but only because Sony decided to fight like there was no tomorrow to beat its rival format. [Blam: I'm not apologizing for the past, but Sony's promised to better about open formats going forward.] It worked this time, but God only knows what Sony labs have in store for us, and our shrinking wallets, next.

Did we leave out any nasty ones, like Nintendo's many accessories, or an Apple USB port that doesn't take all USB products? If you have a good one, throw it into a comment below.