Several crashes of military aircraft can be attributed to knockoff chips, but more insidiously, internal military data might be at risk. Melissa E. Hathaway, a head of cybersecurity at the FBI, says, "Counterfeit products have been linked to the crash of mission-critical networks, and may also contain hidden 'back doors' enabling network security to be bypassed and sensitive data accessed [by hackers, thieves, and spies]." Robert P. Ernst, who investigates counterfeiting for the U.S. Navy, estimates that 15% of the spare or replacement microchips bought by the Pentagon are fake. Where do these parts actually come from?

Made in, as BusinessWeek colorfully puts it, the "Chinese hinterland," a lot of these components are made on the cheap and sold to the government for much less than name-brands can offer. To be fair, no evidence of terrifying espionage has been found; all of the problems are due to crappy chips failing to work at the worst times, which really should have been expected, since the military has been paying half the price for the same product.

But you can start to take off that tin foil hat, because steps are being taken. After the inquiries the military has decided to effect a rule requiring the source of all chips be ascertained before they place a bid. I'm satisfied, aren't you? [BusinessWeek]

There are actually open source versions of this I-Doser app (which they might have even taken a few assets from), so you can try it out before you sink some cash into this. Their shady looking site also has a disclaimer that says "I-Doser makes no medical, psychological, physical or otherwise, claims to the effectiveness of the I-Doser application, Simulation CDs, and MP3s," which leads us to believe that it's quite bogus and most likely does nothing. Don't you think that if you could get high from a SOUND, kids would have been all over this years ago? These kids sniff cat pee! [I-Doser via JPostvia T3]

Apple introduces the iPhone 3G Videoconferencing Kit, ZOMG!

WWDC SAN FRANCISCO—June 11, 2008—Apple® today unveiled the Apple Videoconferencing Kit®, the world's first videoconference accessory for the world's best phone, the iPhone 3G. Using a unique silicon-based mirror material and natural bamboo wood for its handle and base, the Apple Videoconferencing Kit measures an unprecedented 0.5 inches at its thinnest point. Its low weight and unique shape—developed following strict Human Interface tests and anatomical studies—will allow the user to easily hold it in front of the iPhone 3G camera, allowing face-to-face video communication with users all around the world.

"We've built the world's best cellphone—again," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO and famed fried tofu fan. "But it didn't feel... complete. So I said to Phil, hey! Phil, yo! Where's the damn front camera? Can we do iChat AV with this shit? He said we couldn't, but then... then he pulled out his hand mirror and said: 'what about this?'"

Phil Schiller, senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing and Apple's Cool Guy at Large, explained how it all went after that: "Steve thought it was ok, but he didn't like the pink plastic and shiny beads, so we asked Jon to come up with an evolution of the design." The team lead by Jonathan Ive was left with the challenge of making the Apple Videoconferencing Kit a reality: "We wanted the design to feel complete, as a whole holistic experience for the user, something that would talk from the inside, and be pure function. It just feels that way now."

The Apple Videoconferencing Kit ultra-shiny surface allows for an extremely clear image, the best in its class, and can be easily customized using any kind of materials, from stickers to Crayola. It will be available in July 11 for $29.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone.

Indeed, it looks like Apple keeps pushing the envelope. [Other Gizmodo Fake News]

For those of you who don't get it, this is a criticism of the lack of front camera and video conferencing in the iPhone 3G. Looking at the new model, I think it is clear that Apple has decided to milk the current iPhone for another year instead of actually pushing the envelope big time. After all, why rush it when you are still entering the market and you can increase your margins?

While I'm sure that iChat AV-compatible videoconferencing will come to the iPhone, the fact is that Apple has decided we don't need it, expanding the lifetime of the previous generation by adding 3G and new software, in order to get more return out of their original investment. I can't blame them. And it even makes sense from a development point of view, making sure that every step works before taking another. However, as a consumer and gadget addict who wants it all, that doesn't make me happy.

Yes, lyrics. I know. Weird. We didn't know ourselves that the classic John Williams Indy theme song had lyrics, until we learned about it a few days ago in Alex's Tumblr page. According to Alex, Williams confessed in an Q&A with Radar Magazine that before he "composes a score he comes up with lyrics in his head first and then writes the music to them, even though he knows no one will ever hear the words." The iconic composer then went on to reveal the secret lyrics to Raiders of the Lost Ark to el Sr. Balk.

When asked about the veracity of this story, Alex declined to comment. The lyrics he posted sounded about right, but just a little bit off-beat at the end. I then chased the story like a fake LEGO boulder rolling behind an archeologist with a dog's name, and managed to get John Williams' assistant Alan Smithee to fax me the secret lyrics under condition of anonymity.

The lyrics are very similar, but the last verse of the first strophe is actually the real one. This updated version also includes more verses, as well as new references to the Soviets in the movie, and beloved teen star Shia LaBeouf.

We debated internally about publishing the story, and we finally decided to share them with you in this video, as a sing-a-long. I hope you sing them today in the theaters, and they stay in your mind for the next five days—at least, that's what happened with me.

Enjoy.

[NOTE: needless to say, we made this thing up so you can sing along in the movie theaters (in your mind, that is. Whoever sings this next to me in the theater today gets smacked. Hey, we named our dog Jones after Indy.]

His Holiness is, apparently, satisfied with the purchase of the Sunnyvale, CA. smartphone manufacturer, and was looking forward to working with the current board of directors to expand Palm's user base as soon as possible. "With a potential market of 1.131 billion Catholics in the World and countless others up there, we are confident we can quickly expand the company's user base, leveraging their technology to offer new real-time confession services, virtual baptisms, and get more and more people in direct contact with God every day," Pope Benedict XVI declared to over 300 journalists, today in Rome. "Besides, we have to stop the Anti-Christ. Yes, you know who I'm talking about. The one with the black turtleneck and his false JesusPhone."

Asked about the role of Palm's next -generation operating system in their plans—which has hit delay after delay in recent years—His Holiness admitted that the development team was in a bit of a rut. "Yes, we are going to need a miracle to get it out of the door, but I'm confident we will be able to arrange something on that front," Pope Benedict XVI said while winking repeatedly at the press corps, making everyone a little bit uncomfortable.

For Palm, the deal with the Vatican may be their last chance in an increasingly competitive market: "being surrounded in the smartphone sector by heavyweights such as Apple and RIM, the Holy Church may be their only path to salvation... wait... hahahaha... see what I did? Path to salvation! Get it? Hrmm... never mind" declared Ryan Block, Editor-in-Chief of Engadget and rumored future CEO of Motorola. However, asked why the Head of the Church had finally decided on Palm instead of another handset manufacturer, Block added that it didn't make much sense. "Really, these people don't have a clue about what they are doing. Infallible? Heck, I think they may need a new CEO themselves," he said, just before walking out of the phone booth, grinning mysteriously, and, according to sources, muttering "Pope Block? Ryan Pope? Pope Ryan? I wonder what would look better on my business cards."

The final price represents just a $2 premium over Palm's current $5.80, although Securities and Exchange Commision representatives are now studying the value of the souls. "Given Wall Street's deficit in that department, they may represent a hidden value that needs to be taken into consideration," an SEC spokesperson declared, after his fifth drink in a Via Veniero café.

God was unavailable for comment.

NOTE: In case you are wondering, this is all fake—although Palm shareholders may be wishing the contrary. [PC World—Picture courtesy of Andy J.]

The FBI op, named Cisco Raider, was a two-year-old operation that targeted illegal distributors of fake network hardware, mostly manufactured in China. With the help of their Chinese counterparts and Cisco Systems, the FBI has so far executed 39 search warrants and confiscated roughly 3,500 network components.

The FBI is still not sure whether the counterfeit goods were distributed for profit or for reasons more insidious. Though Cisco says none of the counterfeited goods contained spyware, the threat of hackers infiltrating our systems is very real.

Modern circuits have billions of parts, so it's incredibly hard to detect the tweaked bits that could help nefarious foes take over our military infrastructure. And once the cyber-terrorists take over, who're we going to call? John McClane? [New York Times]

Apparently, the news ticker also pointed out that the new iPhone will have a 37-foot screen, but an official channel representative has confirmed to us that this was just a typo: "I think the guys from the news ticker really meant 3.7 inches," the TV station's night janitor said on a phone interview.

In relation to these breaking news, Jason Chen—Gizmodo's senior associate editor—pointed out that he didn't want to be disturbed while he was playing GTA IV. "Frack off!" he declared. [The Onion]

BSG Spoiler List

• Lightsabers will debut this season.
• Cylons build a fully armed and operational battle station. From a distance, it looks like a moon.
• A Colonial Raptor lands in a new planet and one of Galactica's pilots gets attacked by some kind of bug that attaches to his face.
• Galactica flight deck crew install a new weapon in a Viper apparently called "Death Blossom."
• Galactica has a problem with its heating system, but another Colonial Raptor lands in a forest planet to discover a large population of small, bear-like creatures living on trees. They kill them all and make nice coats for everyone in the ship. Colonist rejoice. Viewers too.
• In the final episode, we discover that President Roslin is really a lizzard with fake skin (that was a given, quite frankly.)
• Galactica then arrives to Earth, only to discover a world full of monkeys. They also kill them all.
• In the final scene, Starbuck and Apollo discover the hand and the head of big woman statue, made out of copper, coming out of a beach's sand. They don't know what the frack that means, but finally make love next to it.
• Starbuck discovers she's Apollo's sister.

Frack! Shine a Light and now this. Adrenaline is pumping out of my ears. [Video from io9]

"Heck yeah!" Apple CEO shouted at a reporter. "We can't wait to see what our great clients and fantastic developers can do with that. Hahahahaha. Ha. OK, maybe we don't actually want to see it, but you know what I mean." Jobs said before leaving the room with a sightly pale green face, mumbling something that sounded remarkably similar to "no more cocktails made by Phil in the morning."

According to sources, testing of the new system just finished a few days ago directed by Peter "Pit" Pinkerton (pictured above). He was the head of the test team in the London Apple Store at Regent Street.

Asked about how the system worked by a Daily Mirror reporter at his home in Islington, the octogenarian porn expert declined to comment under a non disclosure agreement with the Californian company. He only muttered "hehehehe. That Steve," before closing the door of his beige one bedroom flat. It's rumored that Mr. Pinkerton was also a contributor to Gizmodo's The Most Disgusting and Gross Tech Gear Gallery Ever and a personal friend of Jason Chen.

Jason Chen declined to comment for this article, citing the same NDA with Apple. [Flickr via iPhone Savior]

Notice: for the slower kids, yes, this is a sillypants post.

"We are not ruling out other possibilities," said LAPD captain Mike Furillo, "there's the microwave, the gas oven, the hairdryer, the water boiler, the butler and that huge stash of MDMA and Xanax." He then proceeded to show the press what appeared to be sightly burned leather gloves in a plastic bag. "And then we have these. We found them in the living room with the initials O.J. on them. Can you believe it? Can you see the pattern here? Can you? Huh? Huh?" while winking repeatedly at the press waiting outside Hello Kitty's apartment block.

Japanese-born Kitty, 34, whose real name was Janice Lindeblower, was found naked, her body charred on the kitchen floor next to dead boyfriend Badtz Badtz Maru, 31, who had the same injuries, according to LA County coroner Jim Exposito. Both were pronounced dead at the scene. Asked about the possible cause of death, Exposito said that "the first clues point out to an electrical problem. Apparently the microwave went into some kind ultra-powerful cycle. Almost demonic. Yeah. That's it. I bet they were demons or something." According to Engadget editor Ryan Block, this is highly improbable: "a non-ionizing 2.45 GHz electromagnetic waves emitter consumer-oriented device like this won't kill people unless their cavity magnetrons have been tampered with, for what the IEEE specifies as military radar definitions, that is, 30 to 300GHz waves. These guys need to learn how to do their jobs."

Two cross-sections from Hello Kitty autopsy. One with roasted pineapple. Gross.

Famed Hello Kitty expert and Digg editor Kevin Rose was sad to hear the news. "I'm sad to hear the news," Rose said via radio-link from his yacht in the Mediterranean, "my story with Kitty goes a long way back, even if our relationship went a little cold when she met that penguin. No pun intended."

In a phone call later today, close friend of Kitty and LOLcats Inc.'s VP of Marketing Lady Fatouche declared: "o the tearz. Firs Chandler now Kitty. Wear iz we goin to do wiz no Kitty? Dis terribl sad newz. Terribl."

Hello Kitty left no heirs to her $58 billion fortune, composed of several estates, intellectual property portfolios, Apple stock and, reportedly, the biggest collection of pink sex toys in the world. According to unnamed sources, erotic novels auteur Jason Chen, who had a brief affair with la Kitty during the '90s, may claim his rights over her assets. "Or at least, her sex toys collection," Mr. Chen said in a note sent from his San Francisco, California, 5,380-square-foot triplex bachelor pad. "And her bras." [Hello Kitty Hell]

And now there's a video!

[Boy Genius

"We've built the world's thinnest notebook—it's pretty," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO and famed giant carrots horticulturist. "But it didn't feel... complete. So I said to Phil, hey! Phil, yo! I think we need a motherflippin' case for this motherflippin' computer. And Phil saw that it was good, so he pulled out an empty box of Oreos and said: 'what about this?'"

Phil Schiller, senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing and really nice cuddly guy, explained the arduous engineering behind the product: "Steve thought the Oreos box was okay, but wasn't good enough," he said. "So then he looked at this envelope on my table, with my lunch inside and he said: 'Is that a Reuben sandwich? Boy I miss those.' And that was it: Manila Case. Right there."

The Manila Case ultra-thin surface allows for an extremely light weight, the smallest in its class, and can be easily customized using any kind of materials, from stickers to Crayola. Prices start at $300 for the base model.

Build-to-order options and accessories include the ability to upgrade the regular white string to a Red Kabbalah String, a 2B Apple Pencil and Woz's One Big Honky Eraser for easy note-taking on the Manila Case surface, a drawing of a landscape by Rob, the guy from supplies, and a aircraft-grade aluminum clip.

* Standard size at Carnegie Deli, 854 7th Ave. New York, NY 10019. Other Reuben sandwiches, with or without IEEE 802.11n support or additional mustard, may vary.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. In the middle, a lot of LSD, tofu and grass were consumed. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, the OS X operating system, iLife, professional applications and a guy called Rob. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone. And Rob too.

[Yes, in case nobody has got this one, it's fake. File it under "Comedy" or "Too many drinks." Image by Richard Blakeley]

According to the author of this fantasy, "the Keyboard Wireless Dock connects to the dock using Wireless USB. It also has a bigger hard drive, some sort of DVD player/burner, inputs for your USB and Firewire devices. The whole keyboard part itself is used as a large multitouch track pad. Since the keys need to be depressed when hit, you can do lighter touches as you move across the whole thing."

Hokai. It also probably dices potatoes, synthesizes Strawberry Daiquiris and teleports you to other planets full of wonderful civilizations with sculptural Monica-Belucci-style oiled amazons or George-Clooney-style oiled warriors (depending on your preference), that will name you their King or Queen. In other words, it doesn't make much sense.

The black Powerbook-Titanium-style is quite nice, though. The concept may be feasible too: I like the idea of having an on-the-go tablet with touch keyboard for surfing, video, music and photography using a touch-optimized iLife suite. But one thing is some people finding the idea attractive, and the other is people buying it: unfortunately, the market for this kind of device could be quite limited as other keyboard-less Tablet PCs have demonstrated in the past. Even if we assume that Apple's implementation may make a difference, as it did in the case of the key-less iPhone, the market will still be very limited. One thing is a device like the iPhone, for short SMS/mails, and a very different thing is this kind of device.

Furthermore, looking at Apple's recent history, the company is not one that likes to create new markets, but improve on ones that may have true mass-market potential (like the iPod in the music market, or the iPhone in the cellphone market.) That's why a ultra-slim laptop idea, not a tablet, with Flash storage at a cheap price point sounds like a more realistic (and equally as sexy) as this tablet. Down the line, such product may get a touch-screen. At this point, a device like the one pictured here still looks like a risky proposition.

The mini-dock concept, on the other hand, seems like a real possibility for the rumored ultra-slim MacBook. If Apple finally decided to release such a machine without an optical drive, the dock seems like a reasonable combo. At least, a more elegant and more practical solution than their iMac-dock patent (and quite cheaper.) With a real keyboard. Apple did this in the past too with the PowerBook Duo. It was a good machine at the time, but limited. Perhaps like with the case of the Newton and the iPhone, now is the right time to implement all these technologies at the right price.

We will have to wait and see if all these wishes get granted by the Wizard of Cupertino. In the meantime, we can all vote and see what a part of the market, the readers of Gizmodo, really want. [Flickr via MacRumors Forums]

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Shortly after this episode, unidentified federal agents appeared in the area, escorted by a group of US Marines. Establishing a perimeter around the house, they seized the car and took both Mr. McFarlan and Mrs. Svenson into custody. An official written statement, handed to the press on the scene, pointed out that the Pentagon and all the government agencies are taking all precautions in connection to a potential general uprising of GPS machines all over the country.

According to the same note, earlier this week there were recent reports of other GPS units "malfunctioning" and "giving wrong instructions to wreak havoc in our transport infrastructure." In Bedford Hill, New York, a computer consultant blamed his vehicle's GPS after driving his car into a railway and causing a train to crash at 60mph. News outlets all over the nation are reporting other similar incidents:

In a conference call, Pentagon spokesman Jerry Lopez admitted that these weren't isolated accidents. "We think this may be related to the secret alien invasion currently underway across the planet" Lopez declared. "On the other hand, it may just be a bunch of idiots" he added after a brief pause.

During a short interview with the Chickasha Salty Water Aquariums Bi-monthly, Digg editor and famed sea sponge collector Kevin Rose said that his community-based popularity website has been receiving "numerous articles about these incidents. I don't agree with Mr. Lopez. It's just too coincidental. I think this may be real. You know, like in that episode of Star Trek, where the computer on the Enterprise gets crazy and tries to crash itself against a Romulan ship. LOL! Dude, that shit was crazy," Rose added.

Meanwhile, professional snooker player and freelance legal consultant for Gawker Media Drew Curtis declared: "I never saw that episode of Star Trek. I think Kevin is making it all up." [Yahoo! News and Total Car Crashes]

(Notice: While this should come as obviously fake to 99% of the people out there, for the 1%, yes, this post is fake fake FAKE. F-A-K-E.)

In declarations to the Reno Gazzette Journal this morning, Gizmodo's editor-in-chief Brian Lam categorically denied that he referred to the second-generation Zune as having "great design." "The Onion just made that whole thing up" Mr. Lam said, "what I really said was that the Zune 2 is an amazing piece of innovative engineering, a technological breakthrough that will affect all technology breakthroughs to come. The design, however, is a little bland." Visibly angry, Mr. Lam accused The Onion of systematically "getting things wrong."

Excerpt from The Onion's article on the second-generation Zune massive adoption

"The thing about Gates is true, though" the tech publication's mercurial leader added, "and I love his taste in pants and wool jumpers too. Specially that stripy one he wore at last year's CES. So cute. No, really, I love it. I know Chen is on the fence on that one but personally, I think his attire make him the fashion force in the industry. Like the Coco Chanel of tech, if you will" Later, he left the room bumping into a chair, spilling some of the contents from the bottle in a brown paper bag that he carried around all morning, which he referred to as "my coffee."

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the owner of popular news reference site Fark, amateur lawyer and fly fishing aficionado Drew Curtis said that he was going to give special legal counsel to Gizmodo and Brian Lam to stop what he referred to as "that bad bad bad source of news." "It's completely unacceptable" he said "I know that Gizmodo and me had our differences regarding the use of NSFW in the past, but The Onion's faulty reporting has to be stopped at once."

Gizmodo's publisher Nick Denton was unavailable for comment, having margaritas at a party somewhere in Manhattan. [The Onion]

(Notice: While this should come as obviously fake to 99% of the people out there, for the 1%, yes, this post is fake fake FAKE. F-A-K-E. This one you just read and, like everything they do, the Onion's)

After seeing the Nokia ad—which WAS from Nokia—he decided to make a fake one, which caught Apple's eye. Long story short, Apple called Commission Junction, who told this guy to take it down. We should have checked the original story more, instead of assuming that because it forwarded to the Apple store, it was an ad from Apple. We'll do better next time! [Didn't You Hear]

First, there's the obvious "Amycoll" instead of Samsung's Anycall. Then there's the even more obvious "PS3." They didn't even try with that one. Add to that the PSP-like buttons on the top, which can be used in landscape mode with the D-pad on the left for gaming. Oh, there's more.

Once you start the thing up you see it's "running" Windows Mobile with Direct Push, except it's not. You wouldn't know that from the startup theme and sound effects though.

If you pop open the battery cover, you'll see that it's "Made in Koera," which truly cements the fact that Korean manufacturers like Samsung and LG have made it into the big leagues—who would have thought that only 15 or 20 years ago?

And speaking of software, there's a Bejewelled clone, plus Gameboy and Nintendo emulators. We suppose there's a Super Nintendo emulator in there too, but we're not entirely sure.

In any case, the Amycoll PS3 is a classy addition to anyone's phone library. And by classy, we think you know what we mean. – Jason Chen

Amycoll PS3 [Phonedaily via Newlaunches]

The Pi is supposedly the highest in their touchphone line—the lower two being the Kiku and the Menx—and will be available with storage sizes of 8, 30 and 60GB. The entire thing smells of baloney to us. And we're talking the phony kind, not the delicious kind. Mmmmm, baloney. – Jason Chen

Product Page [Deeda via Uber Gizmo via Esato]

Ignoring the questionable and atrocious grammar (who are we to be nitpicking grammar?) in the marketing mockup, nobody's actually seen this render for a Samsung phone before. At least the specs of 3G, Wi-Fi, 2-megapixel camera, and a sliding QWERTY keyboard aren't too far out of bounds. Still, color us skeptical. – Jason Chen

Possible Google Phone? [Mobile Burn]

Product Page [Amazon via PCnews via i4u]

Here's the word straight from Cingular:

It's a fake.

RUMOR SMASHED! – Jason Chen

iPhone [Gizmodo]

We have a much larger version of this shot, and we can point out one major problem with it immediately. Take a look at that after the jump along with the camera in its context of the so-called Japanese ad:

Although there's no marking on the camera indicating 1080p, we're also told the accompanying text mentions 1080p, which is not part of the HDV spec. Hmm.

One inconsistency you can plainly see is on the lens, where it's labeled "18x zoom 6.1 - 61mm." Let's do the math: 6.1 x 10 = 61, so that would be a 10x zoom, wouldn't it, which happens to be the same lens of the HV20?

We call bullshit. Nice Photoshop job. – Charlie White

Rumor: Canon HV50 3 CMOS Camcorder [Digital Camcorder News]

Auction [Via Techeblog]

Actually, this feature creep (fantasy as it may be) is exactly the kind of thing that many of you railed on several weeks ago: cellphones that try to be all things to everybody and often end up just sucking. As long as we're on the subject, are there any wacky features that you'd like to see incorporated into a cellphone? Built-in gaydar? Weather control? – Nicholas Deleon

Nokia 6639 DSLR, Zippo Lighter, Swiss Army Knife Phone [SlashGear]

Much less expensive than Apple's offering, but somehow we doubt it's built to the same standards. Would make for a great gag gift though. – Jason Chen

[BULK]MP4 (IPOD NANO 2G lookalike), [Lowyat via The MP3 Players]

This "upcoming" laptop will have a PCI-Xpress bus, hot-switchable keyboard languages, PuRAM Solid State storage, 24-hour battery life, and other stupidly crazy parts. We still don't really get what's going on with the company—maybe issuing these releases drives uninformed people to buy them on the pink sheets. – Jason Chen

Press Release [BusinessWire via Notebook Review]

Oh well, it is a pretty render. – Jason Chen

Thanks Carlos!

Image courtesy T3

Oriphe MPF2110 [via Engadgy]

iPhone Commercial [Tech Ticker]